Day 5 • Work It Out

Words from the Rock

If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.

Matthew 18:15–17 Message

Jesus knows that humans, by nature, don’t really get along. Oh, things might go smoothly for a while, but eventually even the of best friends get into a dispute. Married couples have fights. Partners in business disagree. Even churches have been known to have their squabbles. So Jesus lays down some very important ground rules about relationships between Christians.

Unfortunately, many of us turn our backs on Jesus’s words, tossing out these rules when it comes to settling differences. Sometimes we’re more concerned about being right than making things right. So here are the rules. You might want to copy them down on an index card just in case you ever need them.

1. If a Christian does something that hurts you, go to that person and calmly tell him or her that you are hurting. Explain how his or her words or actions made you feel and why. Be honest yet kind.
2. If that person will listen, you can talk and work out your differences. That might mean taking responsibility for some of the blame. It might mean one or both of you need to forgive. But if you work things out, you have gained a true friend.
3. If that person won’t listen to you, go to another Christian friend (or two) and explain the situation. But be honest and don’t try to make the other person look like a jerk. There are always two sides.
4. The two or three of you should go to the other person—not to confront him or her but to speak honestly (with kindness and love) and see if you can resolve your differences. Usually this works.
5. If all that doesn’t work (which is a rare case), and if you and the other person attend the same church, you can go to your church leadership and explain the situation. Then you simply start the whole process over again from step 1.

My Prayer

Dear God,

Show me how to take good care of my relationships with others. When I have a disagreement, help me to handle it correctly.

Amen.

Final Word

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

Matthew 5:9 NIV

Stone for the Journey

God can help me to love others even when it’s not easy.