Leena was excited to receive the date and place for the Summer Solstice gathering, despite the threat of a killer attending. She looked up the location on the computer and was thrilled to see the wild growth all around the campground. Gwen assured her they would get the large cabin with several rooms with two or more beds in each.
She grinned and wondered if it would be fair for her and Owen to take one room. Her friends could fight about who was sleeping where. She was excited, because she’d never been to a gathering as a couple, with someone to share all those moments, and those private thoughts you needed to express.
Leena shook her head and brought herself back to reality. She shouldn’t be doing this at work. She chastised herself and closed the window on the computer, opening the shipping schedule instead. When the phone rang, she kept her eyes focused on the list of dates and picked it up. “Ms. Duncan.” “Hey, pretty lady.”
Work was forgotten. “Owen.”
“I went through Cora to make sure you had a few minutes to talk.”
“I would make the time if needed. What is so important you called me here?”
He cleared his throat. “I wanted to let you know I’ll be gone for a few days. I’m meeting with my editor tonight.”
“Oh. Will you be back for Wednesday?”
“Should be. We’re meeting halfway. I have quite a few things to go over with him. Normally, we do this on line or by phone, but I want to lay this all out for them.”
“I’m happy things are going so well for you with the book.” She smiled at the exasperated sound he made.
“Can’t type fast enough anymore, it seems. So, I just wanted to let you know... so you could miss me. I should be back late Wednesday afternoon if all goes well.”
“I’ll want to hear about everything when you get back. I already miss you, and it’s been less than a day.”
“Hopefully, we’ll have something to celebrate when I get back. I’ll miss you, and I’ll try to take a few minutes to call you tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“I better go, I’ve got a four-hour drive ahead of me and I want to get there first, so I can get this laid out for him properly.”
“Okay. Be safe, you.”
“I will, baby. Bye.”
When she hung up, it took a few minutes to clear her head before she turned back to the monitor and tried to focus work, grinning.
Why did your mind always wander over every odd thought while driving long distances? Owen glanced at his speed again. Leena was amazing. He still wondered how he ended up with her in his life. He hadn’t been looking for anyone, that part he knew. What happened to that promise he made to himself years before? No long-term relationships. Safe. No chance of family or being like his father. When had he begun to think of things with her as lifelong?
His mind hovered on the lifelong part for a second. There was no other option with someone like Leena. Her warmth reflected nothing but home. Family. She was meant to have a family to love and care for. She deserved a loving and understanding man, a man who would be a loving, understanding father to their children.
He pulled the Jeep off the road and sat staring at nothing. He was so completely lost in love with her, and he was pretty sure she felt the same way, even though neither of them had said the words
What the hell was he going to do now? He couldn’t be a father. Okay, he could, but he definitely shouldn’t take a chance on being one. “Idiot!” he cursed himself. “You better figure out what the hell you’re doing, and fast,” he muttered as he pulled back onto the road.
First, get this series in a contract with the publishers, and then he’d go back and figure out what he was doing with his life... back where his heart was in the hands of a sexy, loving witch.
Leena paced most of Monday night away and all of Tuesday. She didn’t let herself send him any messages. Obviously, he was onto something important with his writing, and she didn’t dare take the chance of interrupting negotiations with his editor. She picked up a book only to toss it back on the table. The only way to burn this nervous energy off was magic. Lots and lots of magic.
She went over to stand in the alcove of her herb shelves.
Leena loved this little space. The ceiling-high cupboards were a hunter green with deep-tinted windows holding every size and shape of colored jars. The open shelf under held her mortar and pestles. All six sizes for variety were important.
It was important not to use the same containers to mix lavender or something minty after having used it for fragrant valerian. She wrinkled up her nose, fragrant was not quite the right word. She began to flip open doors at random, seeking with her mind each jar she wanted.
At the flick of fingers a book opened, pages rustling as it stopped on the page she wanted. As good a time as any to mix cleansing herbs. You could never have enough of those.
Leena knew it would only be a matter of time before Cora wanted to go seeking again. She watched the herbs mixing in the large bowl then reached for a bag to place them in. Better mix up some protective ones, too, while she was here. The first jar she needed for this was already settling on the counter as she sealed the bag and set it aside. She lost track of her thoughts once more, her mind was far too distracted. She paused and frowned, looking down she realized even magic wasn’t going to distract her for long.
Everyone sat around the room in Kasey’s small one-bedroom house. The kitchen and living room were one large area, and there were only three doors in the house other than the way out, a bathroom, a bedroom, and the laundry room-part storage closet. The cozy little house was more like a cottage and seemed to suit her quiet personality, though.
Leena looked at her watch again and sighed. She looked up at Dade, who also wasn’t listening to the conversation the others were having about the never-ending list of possible killers.
He winked at her and grinned. “He probably got tied up in negotiations. This is a pretty big deal for him, Lee.” He spoke softly. “Owen usually writes a story then moves on to a new one, but you’ve inspired him to try writing a series this time.”
She grinned at his reference to Owen’s ‘sappy line’ as he had called it. “I know. I just wish he’d take a moment to call or something.”
“He will when he can.” Dade turned back to the bickering over the list of names. “Has anyone felt anything vaguely familiar with these so far?” Everyone shook their heads no. “Are we wasting a whole lot of time then?” A few shrugs.
Chris sighed and leaned back. “It feels like we’re just running in place.”
Kasey nodded in agreement
Cora set the page down. “I haven’t even felt a tingle from these, even when I close my eyes and concentrate separately on each name while meditating.” She let out a long-exasperated breath and glanced at Dade.
“Don’t even think about it. Without Owen here, I won’t listen to pleas for giving seeking a try.” Dade gave Core a stern look.
“He’s right,” Rachel added, “without Owen to pull you out, it’s too risky.”
Steven threw up his hands. “Well, I say we continue to give these lists a glance when time permits, but, until then, if I don’t go home and get some rest, I’m going to wake up on Kasey’s carpet in the morning.”
Everyone nodded.
Leena looked at her watch again.
Dade sighed. “I’ll swing by Owen’s on the way home and see if he’s just passed out on the couch from the trip. If he’s there, I’ll hand him the phone. Okay?”
She nodded and looked down at her hands. “I’m just worrying over nothing,” she said quietly as she got up and ran a hand down his arm. “I’m going to go home. I stayed up half the night last night reading over those lists, and I need some sleep.” She didn’t need to add she was just passing time hoping Owen would call.
Dade parked behind the Jeep and shook his head. He probably was passed out on the couch, just as he’d said.
Getting out, he went to the door and walked in bellowing, “Security system won’t do you a damn bit of good if the door’s unlocked, man.” He stopped in midstride when he saw the man sitting in suit pants and a wrinkled dress shirt propped against the wall by the kitchen door with a half-empty bottle of what looked like rye.
“Dade!” Owen tried to get up and tipped over. “Have a drink, man. We’re cel... brating the signing of contracts!” He took a long swallow before continuing. “I’m doing six books, man. Publisher’s all ’cited about it. Me too.”
Dade squatted down in front of him and pulled the bottle out of his hand. “So, why aren’t you with Leena spinning her around and celebrating then?”
After pulling the bottle back, Owen squinted. “Long drive. Lotta thinking.” He raised the bottle to his lips then lowered it again. “I can’t keep her, bro. Can’t, won’t take the chance with her.” He sighed, “she’s so pretty. Have you ever noticed that? So gentle...” He grinned when his friend pulled him up to his feet. As he teetered upright for a moment he enthused, “I love her, man.”
Dade supported Owen as he headed toward the kitchen. “You love her, so you’re going to stay away from her? How the hell much have you drunk?”
Owen staggered to lean against the doorframe. “Ya, she’s gonna wan’ babies, an’ weddings. Probably not in that order, but I can’t.” He tried to put the bottle to his mouth and missed. Chuckling he lowered his hand again. “Can’t be a father, Dade, you know that. You know!”
“I know you’re shit-faced right now.” Dade pulled the larger man a few feet and dropped him into a chair. He quickly caught him again before he tipped right off the other side. “Leena’s so gone for you, man. What the hell are you doing?” He walked to the cupboards and started looking for coffee. Turning back quickly, he pulled the bottle out of his friend’s hand and set it out of reach. “What do you mean you can’t be a father; you’ve had a vasectomy?” Dade’s stomach clenched when he said the word. What man would intentionally put himself through that?
“Nooo. No... ouch... fuck, no!” Owen slid off the chair and landed on the floor on his side. With an amused look, he twisted his head and looked up at him. “Man, you tall from down here.” The expression on his face hardened again. “Won’t. I won’t be a father.” He leaned back on both hands, squinting at Dade. “Won’t take a chance, might snap... beat ’em sense... less, you know? You know, man!” Dade flipped on the coffeemaker before turning back to the idiot sprawling on his own kitchen floor. “So, you’re just going to blow Leena off? Ignore her and leave her sitting at home wondering where the hell you are?”
“She does this thing with her tongue...” Owen grinned at the dark eyes glaring down at him. “Can’t see her right now, would have to kiss her.”
“You couldn’t see her right now if you wanted to, bro.” He gripped Owen’s shoulders from behind. “Sit the fuck up and have some coffee.” He dragged him back against the cupboard. “Then you’re going to tell me what your fucked-up brain is thinking.” Dade squatted down so he was level with the idiot’s face. “She sat through the meeting looking at her watch every three seconds, Owen.”
“Meeting.” Owen grinned. “Signed a contract... six books!”
Dade let out an exasperated breath and dropped his head. It was going to be a long night. Long, long night.
Dade listened through the slurred stage, commenting only when Owen tried to make eye contact with him. He listened through the angry stage. Owen was angry that he was forcing coffee into him when he wanted rye. He listened through the moaning stage when his friend’s head was on the table. Now a red-eyed, depressed man looked at him in silence. “I think you’re being stupid if you really want to know.”
Owen’s held his head in one hand and his other held his stomach. His eyes were half closed and Dade was pretty sure all he wanted to do was go lie down in some dark corner and sleep for the next few days. With the way he flinched at every movement, he was certain Owen had reached the stage where shooting pains went through his head every time he moved.
“I won’t take a chance on turning into my father. I won’t take that chance with Leena. She’s been through enough.”
“So, go talk to her. You don’t even know if she wants a family, or you, for the rest of her life.” Dade waited for Owen’s scowl and knew he was on the right track. “She hasn’t said she loves you or ever mentioned anything but the odd day here and there...you might just be temporary to her, bro.”
Owen’s head snapped up, and then grabbed his head, he snarled at him. “What the fuck are you saying, that she sleeps around? I know fuckin’ better than that!” He slammed his fist on the table. “Watch what you’re saying when you talk about her, or I’ll lay you out flat!”
Dade had to bite back the grin. “Have you talked to her about any of this, Owen?” He pushed the chair back just to be sure he was out of reach of those big hands. “You don’t know what she wants...only what you think you don’t want. You’re an idiot.” He stared into the red eyes. His head must be pounding. “I knew your father, Owen, and I know you. There is no way that you would EVER raise a hand to a woman or a child.”
“Fuck!” Owen gripped the sides of his head again. “I just want her so much, Dade, so fuckin’ much. She’s in my head every minute of every day.” He rubbed a hand over his eyes then tried to focus on him. “I’m scared to death I’ll hurt her, I’ll disappoint her...”
“Go to bed.” When Owen opened his eyes and looked at him as he continued. “Go get some sleep, and when you’re feeling human again and have your thoughts all sorted out, go talk to her.” Dade stood up and waited, hoping he’d get up, too, so he could go home and get an hour of sleep before he had to get to work.
“I don’t think I’d survive it if she turned away.” Owen stood up slowly trying to prevent the pain he knew was going to burst into his head. “I don’t know how to tell her any of this.”
“Send her a message for now, and get some rest. Give yourself a few days to get your head together if you have to, but don’t leave her sitting there wondering. It sucks.” He pushed his friend out of the kitchen. “And for fuck’s sake, stay out of the damn bottle.” Dade watched the slow-moving man pick up his coat and search for his phone. After he had made sure Owen got to the couch without collapsing, Dade opened the door and went home.
Looking at the text message for the tenth time, Leena smiled.
Biggest deal of my career signed. Will call you later need sleep.
She’d been worried for nothing. He was home now and sleeping.
Cora was climbing into her car to head to work when her phone rang.
Just sobered up drunken Owen and put him to bed. Will explain later. Keep eye on Lee, but don’t tell her. He needs to get his head together. D
She sent back that she would and wondered what was going on now. Tonight might be a good night to have a girl’s night, just as soon as she spoke with Dade.
Cora was no further ahead at the end of the day. Leena told her Owen was back and had signed the biggest deal of his career, and she seemed very happy about things. Cora sent Dade a message before she cleared her desk. She told him to call her before she headed out with the girls for dinner.
The phone rang less than a minute later. She answered it and heard his voice on the other end.
“You four are going out for dinner in public alone?”
She grinned. Would he ever relax and let her be an adult? “We’ll be together the whole time and won’t walk down any dark alleys.”
Dade sighed., “Sorry, you’re right. I haven’t had any sleep. I spent the day trying not to cut off my own hands.”
“What happened last night?”
“I went to check on Owen for Lee and found him shit-faced on his floor ‘celbrating’ a signed contract and mourning his relationship with Leena.”
“Mourning? How do you mean? She’s not aware of it.” Cora frowned.
“No, and keep it that way, Coralee.” He dropped his tool belt onto the seat of his van and climbed in. “You know what his prick of a father did to him growing up. You saw it as much as I did. Well, the idiot has it in his head he’s going to be just like him and is ready to toss the whole thing with her out the window over it.” Dade sighed loudly, “He’s so in love with her it’s fried any sense he had.”
“Well, that part is good, because I know she loves him just as much. But, seriously, I’ve seen that man with her, and with and those children at the fair. He’d never touch anyone to cause pain.”
“I know, I know. Tried to explain that to him while I was picking his sorry ass up off the floor.” He opened his eyes before he drifted off sitting there in his van.
“So, what do you want me to do, Dade? Why did you send me the message?”
Dade grinned, he knew Cora would catch on. “Keep her busy tonight and tomorrow night if you can manage it. Get Kase and Rach in on it if you have to. Make him have to chase her for a change.”
“Oh, I see where you’re going with this.” She paused for a moment and thought. “Okay, it shouldn’t be too hard to do. If we run out of ideas, you might have to drag Chris and the Doc in, too, but I’ll do my best.” She smiled. “Dade, you’re a sweet man to care this much.”
Dade shrugged to no one. “Just don’t want to see them do something stupid, honey.” He sighed loud, “I better head home before I fall asleep sitting here in my van. Keep me posted.”
“You do the same and send me a message so I know you got home in one piece.”
He smirked at her concern. “Will do.”
Leena was exhausted. She’d tossed and turned the night before worrying over Owen, she hadn’t slept the night before that waiting to hear from him, and now tonight the girls decided they wanted her to plan Solstice outfits. She loved that they were excited and asked her. But right now, she just wanted to lie down and rest.
When her cell phone beeped, she groaned and got off the couch to find it.
Can I come see you tomorrow after work?
She groaned. She missed him so much, but the girls talked her into going material shopping for the outfits.
Am out with girls for part of tomorrow night. Will let you know when I get back though. Miss you.
I’ll be waiting to hear from you. Miss you too, pretty lady.
She closed the phone and smiled to herself. I wonder how quickly I can buy material.
When Owen received the message she was staying at Cora’s tonight with the girls, he stomped down to the kitchen for coffee. He wanted to see her yesterday not tomorrow!
He knew exactly what he needed to say to her and hoped she’d understand and accept it. Hoped she’d not turn from him completely and never speak to him again. He couldn’t do marriage and family, he just felt it deep down. It would take time to be able to explain this to her, and he sure couldn’t do it over the phone or by text message. He had to do it face to face, even if he needed to tie his own hands to keep them off her until he was finished.
Grabbing the cup of coffee, he stomped back into his office space and flipped open his laptop. He’d work on the book until then to keep his mind busy.
Leena smiled to herself as she carried the bags into the house. She’d had so much fun last night. The shopping part was necessary, but spending the night laughing and talking to her closest friends had been something they hadn’t done since last fall. She missed it.
Glancing at her phone, she saw the message light blinking. Pressing it, she began emptying the bags onto the dining room table.
“Hey, let me know when you’re home,” Owen’s voice filled the room.
With a smile, she picked up the phone and dialed it.
When she got his answering machine, she told it she was home until four then had to go with Rachel to the community center for a few hours to the kid’s art night. She hung up and smiled. He’s probably asleep on top of his keyboard at this point.
She was wrong.
Owen sat waiting and waiting and trying to focus on his characters. They weren’t cooperating. They weren’t distracting him from waiting to hear from Leena.
He saw the flashing light on the answering machine as he passed the phone on the way for more coffee, and he cursed. The ringer was off? He listened to the message and looked at the clock. It was four thirty. Sighing, he left her another message saying he’d missed the call and to call him as soon as she got home.
On his way back up the stairs his cell phone beeped and it was an all call for an important emergency meeting at eight that night. Well, he’d at least be able to see her then. He could follow her home and talk to her.
The second time the phone beeped, it was Steven asking if he could pick him up at the hospital and take him to the meeting. Cursing, Owen said he would. He’d get Dade to take Doc home afterward.