Dade pounded on Owen’s door hard enough to shake the windows beside it. When he heard the lock click, he opened the door and walked in without waiting. “I’ve had three women bitching at me since last night because you’re an idiot. Tonight, Coralee was almost in tears because Leena didn’t go to work today, and Leena never calls in. I ended up leaving the site early so I could come here and beat your head against a wall.”
He spun around and looked at Owen for the first time since storming through the door. He looked like he already had. “But I can see now you’ve been beating your own head against the wall. Good.” He went and dropped down in the nearest chair, not caring if he brought half the dust from the work site with him.
Owen sat across from him and dropped his face into his hands. “What did you mean with ‘Leena never calls in’?”
Dade snorted. “Just what I said, she called in sick today. She won’t answer the phone or return messages. The girls have been losing their minds all day worrying about her.” He threw his hands up. “Short of breaking into her house and assessing with my own eyes that she is in fact in one piece, I don’t know what the hell to do to calm these women down! So, I came here to take it out on you.”
Owen sighed, “Pretty sure she won’t answer the phone for me either, bro, so what am I supposed to do?”
Dade shook his head. “Well, for starters, you could have not done what you did yesterday. When you carried her out of there, I thought you’d come to your senses about all of this.” He stood up. “What the fuck happened?”
“You know what happened. I told you what I’d decided, and none of that has changed.”
Dade spun around. “You’re so fucking in love with that woman that you ripped out her heart and handed it back to her?” He snorted again and walked over to the phone. As he dialed it, he continued to bark at Owen. “If you had half a brain in your head, you’d crawl there on your hands and knees and beg her forgiveness.” When she picked up the phone, he wasn’t surprised, it being Owen’s number
“Leena, it’s Dade. I was just hanging out here when Cora sent me a message. She’s worried you didn’t go in to work today.”
“Dade, oh, I decided to take a day for me, catch up on a few things.”
“You all right, honey?” He wanted to smack Owen’s head on the wall again, because of her shaky voice.
“Yes, I’ll be fine. I’ll send the girls a message so they’re not bothering you. I just needed to take some time, nothing to worry about.”
“It’s no bother, Leena. You know I’ll always be your white knight.” He tried to sound easy going and not as upset as he really was.
“Yes, thank you.” There was a long pause. “Is he okay, Dade?” Her voice quivered.
Dade closed his eyes for a moment, trying to find the right words. “You want me to rough him up, honey? Say the words, and I will.”
“No! No, just make sure he’s okay for me, please.” She sniffled, “please, I have to go.” She hung up.
Dade hung up the phone and then turned to lean against the wall. He looked at the man who appeared to be in as much pain as Leena had sounded like she was in. “You know you’re a fuckin’ idiot, don’t you?” He pushed away from the wall and went and sat down. “She’s a mess. Does that put it into perspective for you? But she’s still worried about you. I’m supposed to make sure you’re okay.”
Owen dropped his face back into his hands. “What do I do?”
Dade sat forward and leaned on his knees and stared at him. “Well, you could have started by not doing what you did last night. You could have just played it day-by-day, kind of working it out as you go like the rest of the planet does, but, no sir, you felt happiness and panicked then set forth to crush it before it went too far and led to a happy life for the next forty or so years.”
Owen looked up at him silently for a moment. He had pretty much summarized the same thoughts that had played havoc with him for the last ten or so hours. The thoughts followed his resolve to work until it didn’t hurt. After the thoughts of driving to Leena’s and holding her tightly until she told him she loved him no matter how it worked out. He was an idiot; he knew this much on his own. “I didn’t mean to hurt her,” he said quietly.
“Well, you did, and I’d say from the looks of it, your own heart isn’t doing so well right now either.” He stood and looked over at him. “What are you going to do, Owen?”
“I don’t know. It all sounded so good in my head, really it did. I would explain to her, and she would understand. We’d continue to be friends...”
“What? You expected her to stick around and hold your hand after you told her ‘Hey, I can sleep with you, but I’ll never marry you and I never want kids’? You’re the first man she’s ever really looked at, since Tyler, and what did you do...”
Owen stood up. “Stop! I know what I fuckin’ did, okay. I was there!” He stomped over to the window. “I explained to her how I felt, and she just sat there all quiet and understanding. Do you know when I was finished crushing her heart, she kissed me and told me I was a gentle man and would be a loving father and that when I figured it out to let her know.” He rubbed his hand over his heart as if it were physically aching. Shaking his head, he turned back to the window.
“Well, she should have set your ass on fire or blown you out through a wall or something.” Dade crossed his arms and stared at him.
“That would have been easier to deal with.” Owen turned back to face him. “Fuck! I didn’t ask for her heart, Dade. I wasn’t looking to give mine to anyone. Ever!” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I just couldn’t stop it. I looked at her and wanted...I watched her and ached, and when I held her, I thought to myself ‘maybe just once there can be someone for me.’”
Dade stared at him. How was he supposed to help his friend when he couldn’t even touch the woman he’d wanted for years? How did he fix this? He didn’t know. “I can’t help you, my friend. I wish I had the answers you need, but I don’t.”
Owen shook his head in defeat. “I know.” He looked at him again. “I really need to be alone. I have to figure this out.”
Dade nodded and headed to the door. “Call me if you feel the need to smack your head on the wall...I’m always there to help a friend.”
Owen had been staring at a blank page for more hours then he wanted to count. His characters had abandoned him. They had nothing to say and refused to do anything to help him. He closed the Word document and sat and looked at the keyboard. He wanted to call her, but he didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t changed his mind, that much he knew, but he couldn’t get past wanting to talk to her. He toyed with the idea of sending her an e-mail, but he didn’t know how to start or what to say, much less how to finish.
With a sigh he closed the laptop and walked over to look out the window. He wasn’t even looking out the window, he realized, just vaguely facing the glass but not seeing. He glanced over at the phone again. What could he say that would stop her pain, and his pain? Nothing that wouldn’t be a lie.
When the phone in his pocket buzzed, he literally jumped six inches. Shit! He opened it and stared at the words for several minutes before he moved again.
Are you doing okay? L
No, he thought. I miss you. I want you. I’m sorry I’m an idiot. Then he typed back: Yeah--you?
So he was a liar.
The message came back: Yes. Worried about you though.
Confirming she was lying tonight, too. At least she was lying to make him feel better. He was just lying to himself. He glanced at the clock and realized how many hours had gone by since Dade had left him.
Don’t worry about me--try to get some rest baby.
He had sent it before he realized he’d typed baby at the end. How had she gotten so deep inside him in such a short time? When he read her next message, it was a few minutes before he could reply.
You too. Call if you need me Owen.
He wanted to call her right then... if he needed her? How could he not?
You too. Night. He replied, and then sat there staring at the phone until her reply came back to him.
Night
Owen wanted to throw the phone at the floor and stomp on it. Not because he wanted to call her with it. Not because she’d been the one strong enough to send the first message. He wanted to beat it, because even after what he had done to her, she still wanted to make sure he was fine. He wasn’t fine! He was far from fine! His thoughts churned as he stormed through the house with no real destination in mind.
When he found himself standing in the living room with no idea why he’d gone there, he dropped down on the couch and stared at the ceiling. He’d never hated his father more than he did right at this moment. He hated him for putting this doubt in his mind, for making him hurt the only woman he’d ever really wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
After years of running and avoiding he had come home to his mother’s grave, having only ever set eyes on her once in all those years he’d been away. He had come home to begin his life finally, and when he thought he’d left all the rest behind, his father was right there in his way again.
Why couldn’t he get away from that man? Why did he have to stand in front of everything Owen ever wanted telling him no, telling him it, and he, was a waste of time? He clenched his fists and dropped his arms across his head. He shook from the rage boiling inside him. His father had taken from him the one happiness he’d ever found outside his own self-created fantasies inside his stories.
Leena. Beautiful, patient Aileena.
He sighed. He could see her at Beltane walking toward the circle ...he could see her smiling up at him, he could see her in that purple fantasy she wore at her party, see her laughing.
Leena.
He opened his eyes and sat up. With a shake of his head, he looked down at the couch. He’d been sitting there all but screaming with rage just from the thought of his father, and then he’d thought of her. Then rage was gone, his hands were steady, and his heart ached with wanting her. How could just the thought of her do that?
He sat there smiling to himself when reality came back and he remembered the night before. How was he ever going to get through this?
He jumped up and went back to his office. At this rate he’d be in the mental ward at Doc’s hospital if he didn’t get his head together.
A few miles away, three women sat looking quietly at each other. “That better not backfire in our face, Cora. Leena would blow us all the way to the Arctic if she finds out.” Rachel chewed her own lip as she spoke.
Cora leaned back from the hands she’d been holding. “There’s nothing to backfire, we didn’t do anything that was wrong... really. Well, okay, so the two involved didn’t know about it; but all we did was send them the thought of talking to each other.” She closed her eyes to avoid looking at the others.
Kasey began picking up the candles and stones, removing the evidence was how she looked at it. “It’s what they needed, right?” She didn’t stop from putting things away to look at either of them.
When the knock on the door came, they all jumped and quickly put everything out of sight. “Shit!” Rachel whispered then nodded, as Kasey stood ready to open her door. When she opened it, she giggled to see Dade, Chris, and Steven standing there with questioning looks on their faces.
Chris stepped inside the room. “Ladies.” He sniffed the air.. “That’s not mullein... and rose I smell, is it?” He watched Dade look under the edge of the table and behind where Cora sat.
“Doing anything interesting tonight?” Steven inquired quietly as Rachel sat farther back in a chair.
Cora shrugged and looked at him. “Just girl talk mostly.”
“So, we’re too late to help?” Dade asked her.
“With what?” she asked him sweetly.
“Sneaky witches, aren’t you?” Chris asked as he sat on the floor beside her. “We went to Cora’s first, then Rachel’s. We knew you three wouldn’t leave things the way they were, so we wanted to help.” He pulled out a bag of stones and waved them around.
Everyone burst out laughing.
“We didn’t do anything wrong, really. I just sent them both the suggestion to talk,” Kasey said, examining her own hands.
“Did it work?” Chris asked her with a serious look on his face.
Cora sighed. “We can’t know for sure, but it had good vibes. I’ve never really tried to push a vision, only accepted visions.”
“And if Leena feels the magic?” Chris raised both eyebrows at her.
Dade grinned. “You all better run and hide.”
Rachel threw a cushion at him. “You three as well. You may not have actually been here to help, but you were looking for us to do it, and now you know about it.”
“Sneaky witches,” Chris murmured and dropped on his back.
Dade went over and flopped into a chair. “Let us know next time, okay? We could have helped. I spoke to Lee and saw Owen, and after that I’d help tie them up in a room together if I thought it would help either of them.”
Kasey sat forward. “Well, now that you mention it, Rach and I have been working on a rather complicated spell of sorts, one to help us see, to help with the lists, but it’s not ready yet. Maybe by the end of the week...”
Chris held up his hand, and she stopped. “Is it dangerous in any way?”
She shook her head. “No, that’s just it. This one isn’t going to draw anyone in. It’s kind of a divination sort of thing, perfectly safe as none of us will be directly connected.”
“Count us in then,” Steven said as he looked at his watch then to Dade. “I need sleep. It took us two hours to get it together to come looking for the three of you.”
Kasey stepped over to Chris and looked up at him. “Can we use your place when we do this? We need a fairly open area, and mine’s a little small.”
Chris stood up and smiled down at her. “Absolutely.” He looked at her a moment more. “Let us know if you find out anything.”
Dade winked at them and walked to the door. “I’ll see you sneaky witches later.”