Riding back to the house the next morning, Laura was too preoccupied with what had happened the night before to try to start a conversation. Whether Shane felt the same or not, she didn’t know, but he, too, rode in silence.
She couldn’t bring herself to admit it was a mistake she wouldn’t make again, because that would be a lie. The truth was she was more aware of him than ever and in a different way. Back East, her women co-workers had sighed over how sexy certain men were, going into what she’d felt was unnecessary detail about certain outstanding physical characteristics. She’d never understood why, but she did now.
Shane was a magnificent male specimen in the same way the black stallion was. That didn’t mean, though, that she intended to allow their relationship to deepen. What if she got so involved she couldn’t bear to leave? She might no longer be afraid of him, but what could happen to her was scary. Experience had taught her it didn’t pay to grow too fond of anything or anybody.
And yet she wanted him to hold her again, to kiss her. She wanted to make love with him. A sigh welled up from her heart. How had she gotten herself into this anyway?
When she glanced at Shane, she saw he was frowning—actually more of a scowl. Not at her or at anything she could see ahead, so it must be at his thoughts. Was he regretting the night? She wished she knew.
To get relief from going over and over the same thing in her mind, she groped for something to say and fastened on where they’d be going later today. “Did I ever tell you how my brother and his wife came to adopt Tim?” she asked.
“You didn’t even tell me about your brother until shortly before he showed up,” Shane retorted, sounding definitely grumpy.
Deciding to skip over that omission, she said, “Nathan and Jade actually met each other and Tim at the same time.” She went on to describe the car accident Tim had been in and the circumstances that had forced her brother and his not-then-wife together as they tried to take care of the little boy who wouldn’t tell them who he was.
“You’re saying you don’t think the two of them would have married if it hadn’t been for Tim?” Shane asked.
She nodded. “I don’t mean they married so they could adopt him, but the forced togetherness made them realize they were—well, I suppose you might say meant for each other.”
He slanted her a look. “Do you believe they were?”
“I think so, yes. My brother was involved in a disastrous marriage—his ex-wife was impossible—so he’d made up his mind never to walk down the aisle again. Jade’s nothing like that horrible woman.”
“Meant for each other,” he repeated. “Easy to say.”
“For them it was true,” she said defensively.
“So it follows the same must be true for others?”
She glared at him. “I don’t know! Why must you always back me into a corner?”
He gestured at the sagebrush-covered land around them. “Not a corner in sight. Why do you always retreat and shut yourself off? You said you weren’t afraid of me.”
“I’m not afraid of you!” Her voice rose. “I just want to be left alone.”
Shane decided to back off. If she got any more upset, the visit with the Walkers might prove even more awkward than he suspected it might be. Last night she’d given him a part of herself, an experience he’d remember all his life. But what about the hidden rest of her?
Probing didn’t work. Companionship didn’t, either. Not even lovemaking, great though that had been. She guarded whatever secret that made her so fearful as though it were more valuable than Fort Knox gold.
He wondered if her brother might have a clue. Even if Nathan did, though, he wouldn’t be about to reveal anything to a man he figured had conned his sister into getting married.
As for the lovemaking—Shane smiled at the memory of her passion, both surprising and infinitely arousing. Yet afterward, she’d retreated from him as fast as she could backpedal.
“I’m looking forward to meeting Tim,” he said, as neutral a statement as he could come up with and fairly truthful. He’d already met her brother and, though he hoped their relationship would become more cordial, he wasn’t laying any bets.
“I wish we could bring Grandfather along this evening,” she said.
He raised his eyebrows. “Why?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because he has a way of saying things that makes everyone stop and think.”
“Wait until he starts telling you ancient Paiute legends. Sometimes the point is so obscure even I have trouble locating it. And I grew up on the stories.”
“Maybe that’s on purpose—to make you keep trying to find the meaning.”
Shane shrugged. “He’s a devious old man. Medicine men are always devious. It makes me wonder if I’ll ever master all I need to know to become one.”
“I like your Grandfather.”
“Just remember you can’t always take at face value what he seems to be saying. He doesn’t lie, but his way of thinking can be as twisting as a snake track.”
“I’ll bet he’s right most of time, though.”
“You got it,” Shane said. “Frustrates the hell out of me sometimes.”
The sun was lowering when they rode into the corral. Nobody came to meet them, so they took care of the horses before going inside the house. Something good was cooking in the Crock-Pot—chili by the spicy smell—but no one was around.
“Sage is probably out in the barn doing her best to spoil that colt,” Shane said. “Wouldn’t surprise me if Grandfather isn’t egging her on.”
“Babies need a lot of attention,” she reminded him. “I’m for a shower and change of clothes.”
“Sounds good to me. Want to shower with a friend and save water?”
She frowned at him, but her flush told him he’d made her imagine them naked together with the water sluicing down. Something he’d better stop thinking about right now or suffer the consequences.
After supper—both of them duded up some—they left Sage and Grandfather to the dishes and set off for Tourmaline. Laura wore a pink dress with a full skirt that made her look like a rose to him. She smelled good, too.
He was tempted to tell her how much he wanted her, here and now, but didn’t, considering what lay ahead. The visit might turn out to be okay, but he wasn’t looking forward to it.
Laura did her best to keep her gaze from returning again and again to Shane. He wore his turquoise bolo with a Western-style tan shirt and jeans, and she thought he was the most gorgeous thing on two feet. She found it difficult to keep from touching him, which unsettled her considerably. Just what she needed, considering the ordeal ahead.
Jade wouldn’t be a problem, but Nathan was another story. She knew he wasn’t satisfied with her reason for marrying, despite her claim that she liked Shane and they got along well together. Too well, if last night was any indication. Just the thought of it sent a little quiver of desire running through her.
Enough of that!
Thank heaven it would be early enough for Tim to still be up. She hoped the boy would provide some distraction.
When they arrived at the Walkers’ old Victorian home, Nathan was out on a call. Laura was surprised to find they weren’t the only guests. Her assumption that they would be had been wrong. Uncertain whether she really wanted strangers present, she summoned a smile for an older woman and a man who looked to be about Nathan’s age.
Jade made the introductions. “Gert,” she added, “is an old friend of Nathan’s. And David is her nephew, here for a visit.”
Gert Severin, a pleasant-faced woman of about sixty, nodded, saying, “David may turn out to be a sojourner rather than a visitor. An interesting term, don’t you think? A visit always sounds like popping in and out of a place, while a sojourn implies a leisurely stay.”
Following Gert’s lead, the conversation remained casual while Jade served coffee and dessert. At this point Nathan returned with little Tim, who’d gone along for the ride, and they all sat down to eat together.
Tim, sitting next to Laura, said, “Gert’s my friend. At first I didn’t think she would be, but she is. I got lots of friends here.”
“Friends are good to have,” Gert told him.
“Some of them,” David muttered, then shook his head. “Sorry. Spoke out of turn.”
As soon as they finished and returned to the living room, David thanked Jade, excused himself and left the house.
“He’ll adjust,” Gert said. “It takes time.” She didn’t go on to explain.
Nathan and Jade both nodded, so apparently they knew whatever it was that David had to adjust to. Since it wasn’t really any of her business, Laura was just as glad not to know. She had enough problems of her own.
“You don’t smile very much,” Tim told her, plopping down on the footstool near the couch where she and Shane were sitting.
She managed to smile at him, but he looked dubious, as though he knew the smile wasn’t from her heart. Getting up, he left the room.
Feeling Shane’s hand reach for hers, she tightened her fingers around his, some of her tension easing.
“Much as I hate to eat and run,” Gert said, glancing at her watch, “I have someone coming who couldn’t get here earlier—so duty calls.” Fixing her gaze on Laura, she added, “I’m glad I had the chance to meet you—and your husband.”
Laura exchanged a look with Shane as Gert left. Did he feel, as she did, that there was something odd about this setup?
“Is Gert one of your colleagues?” she asked her brother.
“One of my favorites,” he said.
Tim returned, carrying a stuffed green frog, which he dropped onto Laura’s lap. “You hold Freddie,” he told her. “Freddie’ll make you feel better.”
Taken totally unaware, Laura couldn’t control her sudden spate of tears. Feeling Shane’s arm come around her, she turned her head into his chest.
“Whatever it is,” he murmured into her ear, “I’m here.”
As from a distance, she heard Jade say, “I don’t think Laura needs Freddie anymore, Tim. She has Shane now, you see, just like you have Daddy and me.”
“Okay,” Tim said.
When Laura composed herself enough to face everyone, Tim and the frog had disappeared. Jade held out her hand, saying, “Let’s go freshen up.”
Laura followed Jade from the room, leaving Nathan and Shane alone together. When she finished washing her face, running a brush through her hair and applying new lipstick, Jade was waiting in the upstairs hall beside an open door. Inside the room, Laura glimpsed a crib.
Aware that her sister-in-law had had a previous miscarriage, involuntarily Laura glanced at Jade’s waistline.
Jade’s smile was a bit sad. “Four months along,” she confirmed. “We pray I can carry this one to term.”
“I’ll pray right along with you,” Laura told her.
“Thanks. We’re optimistic.” She laid a hand on Laura’s arm. “Tim didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It was sweet of him to offer to let me hold Freddie, but it did take me by surprise.”
“I think you’ve chosen a good man, for whatever reason. Don’t let him go.”
Realizing Jade understood the marriage hadn’t been a love match, Laura was tempted to confide in her, to ask her what she ought to do now, but she held back. Whatever was between her and Shane was their secret and no one else’s.
As they went down the stairs to the living room, Jade’s words thrummed in Laura’s head. Don’t let him go. Isn’t that exactly what she intended to do?
Just before they reached the bottom, Jade stopped her, leaning over to whisper, “Please don’t be angry with Nathan because he asked Gert over. He was worried about you, that’s all.”
Confused about why Jade thought she’d be angry, Laura murmured, “No problem.”
When they entered the living room, Nathan was saying, “That’s some hatchery you’ve got going at Pyramid. It was past time someone took the initiative about preserving cutthroat trout.”
“Come out and I’ll take you fishing,” Shane told him.
Nathan nodded, looking up at Laura. “Okay now, sis?”
“Freddie undid me for a minute, that’s all,” she said. “I’m fine. But you have to understand we’ve been camping out with the mustangs for two days. We barely got back in time to come over here, so all I’m really up for at the moment is sacking out. Which is probably why I overreacted.”
Shane crossed to stand next to her and, without thinking what she was doing, she leaned against him.
“I think we’d better bid these two good-night before they fall asleep on their feet,” Jade said to Nathan.
He nodded and, at the door, gave Laura a hug before shaking Shane’s hand. “See you soon,” he said.
As they started home, Laura leaned her head back against the seat and sighed. “What a strange evening,” she said.
“Want to tell me about Freddie?” he asked.
Laura took a moment to gather her thoughts. “He used to be my frog before I gave him to Nathan. Then when Nathan gave him to Tim, the frog turned out to be Tim’s security blanket. Tim knows Freddie belonged to me first, and so I guess he thought he ought to give me a chance to hold him.”
“In case you needed a security blanket.”
“I suppose.”
“He’s an observant little boy. Did you give the frog to your brother for the same reason you gave the colt to Sage? Because you didn’t want to get too attached to Freddie?”
Laura thought about it. “I must have,” she said at last. “Freddie used to be my favorite stuffed animal.”
“Something must have caused you to be so afraid of getting too fond of anything.”
She tensed. Because he hadn’t phrased it as a question, she didn’t have to answer. Wasn’t going to answer. Her long-ago therapist had probed in this same general area, though she hadn’t known about Freddie the Frog. Nothing had come of it.
Therapist. Now why did that word ring a bell? She sat straight up as the connection struck her, crying, “She’s a shrink!”
Shane turned to look at her. “Who is?”
“Gert Severin. I just remembered they took Tim to a shrink named Dr. Severin a couple of times. That’s why she was there tonight. To evaluate me. That sneaky brother of mine—how could he?”
“Since Gert missed the scene with Freddie, I’d say she found you fairly normal.”
She glared at him. “That’s not the point. I think Nathan was completely out of bounds to do such a thing. I’m furious with him.”
“He’s worried about you.”
“That’s what Jade said. But I didn’t understand at the time what she was getting at. I could wring his neck. For starters.”
“I think Nate’s all but convinced he can stop worrying,” Shane said.
“Nate?”
He shrugged. “Told me to call him that. I figure if he’s accepted me, that means he thinks our marriage might be okay.”
Since her brother would never have dropped in the Nate business if he were still suspicious of Shane, Laura had to concede the point. On the other hand, she hadn’t told Nathan the complete truth—she’d added that darn embroidery.
“Could be he thinks we’re meant for each other,” Shane said.
About to react, she realized he was teasing her. Two could play at that. “Have you considered he might be right?” she asked airily.
“Sure.”
Taken completely aback, she stared at him.
“Considered it, that is,” he added. “Have you?”
Still teasing, was he? She’d fix him. “Actually, no. You probably were made for someone like, let’s say Jessica.”
He swerved the truck onto the shoulder, shut off the motor, unbuckled both their seat belts and pulled her into his arms. His face was so close she felt she was breathing in the air he exhaled, so intimate an exchange that a thrill ran through her.
“So why do I want to kiss you instead?” he growled just before their lips met.
If she’d had the slightest thought of not allowing herself to get carried away by his touch, she lost it in the kiss as her very bones melted.
She wanted to stay where she was forever, held close to him as she met the demand in his kiss with her own. She relished the taste of him—the slight hint of chocolate from Jade’s dessert mingling with his own distinct flavor, one she knew she’d never forget.
His scent surrounded her, clean and masculine, infinitely arousing. Shane was rapidly changing the old familiar Laura into a passion-driven stranger she hardly recognized—scary for someone who’d always prided herself on her control.
When he released her she sighed, not wanting the closeness to end.
“Buckle up,” he told her as he started the truck. “Remember, you got an aggressive driver behind the wheel. We Bearclaws don’t like to lose.”
“I’ll bet you don’t lose very often,” she replied.
He shot her a quick glance. “Keep that in mind.”
However he felt about this woman he’d so unexpectedly married, Shane thought, he damn well wasn’t about to lose her. No matter what.
He’d never been one to sort through his feelings, trying to figure out how he felt about things. Up until now, he’d always known. But Laura’s arrival in his life had changed that. All he was sure of with her was that he didn’t mean to let go.
“Don’t be too hard on your brother,” he said after a time. “For all he knew about me I might have been Godzilla in disguise.”
“He should have had the sense to realize I wouldn’t have married Godzilla,” she retorted. “Inviting a shrink to check me—or you—out is the limit.”
“My take is he wanted us checked out rather than you or me.”
“You mean how we related to each other? Big deal. We could have put on a perfect partners act and how would Gert have known?”
“Are you trying to hint that we aren’t perfect partners?” he teased.
“Be serious. I think Nathan was way out of line. No wonder Jade apologized, though I didn’t understand what for at the time.”
“I liked Gert. Learned a new word. That’s what my people used to be in the old days—sojourners.”
“I don’t blame her. Doctors stick together—she was doing Nathan a favor.”
“No favor to haul that nephew of hers into a bunch of strangers.”
“Who? Oh, David. Yes, he did seem upset about something.” Laura paused, then added, “But no more than I would have been if I’d known what my brother was up to.”
“Sleep on it. Grandfather recommends two nights.” He refrained from pointing out that she wasn’t facing the different turn their marriage had taken, either, and that might be contributing to her being upset. But he didn’t intend to push—it was her call.
What he really wanted to know was whether she meant to share his bed now. Asking wasn’t an option. Either she would or she wouldn’t.
“The moon still looks full tonight,” he said, spotting its pale yellow circle rising over the hills.
She turned her head to look through the side window. “Why is it the moon always looks bigger in Nevada?”
“It probably doesn’t in Las Vegas.”
“With all that neon they might not even know the moon is there. But I meant here in Northern Nevada. You can see everything better here.”
Shane wondered if that was true where they were concerned.
As if reading his mind, she added. “Take me, for example. I’m not the same person you rescued the day we met. And I want you to know it’s not easy to change.”
“Might not be, but I sure am enjoying it.”
Laura blinked. “You’re changing, too?” she asked.
“Some,” he admitted. “Not so much as you, but then I was born under this desert moon.”
“I don’t think it’s entirely the moon.”
He reached over and laid his hand on the back of her neck, under her hair, gently caressing her nape. She found his touch both soothing and erotic, but couldn’t tell him so. Maybe if she didn’t confess to him how he made her feel, the magic would last longer.
“How did we get into this discussion, anyway?” she asked.
He chuckled. “Gert doesn’t know what she missed.”
Picturing the psychiatrist in the back of the extended cab, listening, she smiled. Somehow Shane had managed to reduce her brother’s offense to a private joke, just between the two of them.
She felt closer to Shane than to anyone. Her smile faded. Rather than a comfort, it was a warning signal.