Abraham Lincoln was sworn in as president of the United States of America on March 4, 1861.
Ian wasn’t in the city for the inauguration.
Alaina didn’t see him after she left Rose Greenhow’s party; Lilly told her later that she had still been sleeping when he had come up in the morning, spent time with Sean, and then departed. He had left her a note; he had gone “to fulfill my orders,” and he assumed he’d be back within a month. She wondered if he had asked for orders that would send him away.
She wondered if he had decided he really didn’t want a wife after all.
But he did want his child.
She considered leaving Washington herself, making arrangements to travel home. But he had said that he would come after her. And she knew that he would. He might not want her, but he did want Sean.
And so, for the time, she waited. And watched. And read the newspapers, and the various letters she received from Ian’s family.
By the middle of March, the Confederate states had taken over most of the military bases and strongholds within their borders. Fort Sumter, in Charleston Harbor, remained in Union hands, as did Fort Pickens, and the forts at Key West and the Dry Tortugas. Alaina wondered if Ian had been sent to Fort Taylor at Key West, a place where he had often been based in better times. He had left her no information at all, which he had surely seen as for the best, but which made her believe that he was already involved in military operations against his own homeland.
So she waited, watching, as forces brought the North and South swiftly toward war. General Beauregard—late of the United States army and a Mexican War hero— had fortified Charleston Harbor. At Fort Sumter, Major Anderson pleaded for reinforcements to keep his men in rations as he awaited further orders. Every day, he faced the armaments Beauregard had amassed on the harbor.
In the midst of all this, Alaina was glad to know that though Ian was not in Washington, Risa Magee was.
As was Mrs. Greenhow. Alaina found herself invited to luncheons and teas at the woman’s house, and she was glad to go. Mrs. Greenhow was fascinating. So were the people who came her way. And in her household, men talked excitedly about the preparations for war. Men talked about troops and brigades, and the numbers and expertise of certain men as sharpshooters, engineers, and more. Mrs. Greenhow never appeared bored at their talk of warfare. She raptly listened to all they had to say.
It was strange, for Alaina knew Mrs. Greenhow remained in deep pain for her daughter Gertrude. She had two older married daughters, and a little namesake Rose, who lived with her now, and was the delight of her life. Rose Greenhow seemed to appreciate the good friends and family who supported her against her loss. She showed Alaina her daughter’s room one day; Rose had not changed a thing since the day her daughter had died. She handled her grief very well, fighting it with living. Alaina admired her very much and felt her love for Sean Michael grow ever fiercer. She learned that though it had been agony to lose her father, there would be no pain on earth like that of losing a child.
The days passed.
Ian’s cousin Sydney wrote her that the situation in Charleston was growing extremely grave and that it seemed something would happen very soon. She was anxious to go home to Florida and begged Alaina to keep her informed of all the news from the Capital of the old U.S..
Alaina also received a letter from Jen—written under circumstances that greatly aggravated Alaina, for she discovered that Ian had been to her home in the Confederacy while she had been left behind in Washington. “How odd!” Jen wrote.
We had heard that we were now a part of the Confederacy, and a Union officer takes his chances in the South these days, but it was so wonderful to see Ian. He brought news, which we crave. We’re so far from the rest of the world that it is terribly difficult to know what is going on. We knew, of course, that the Federals are still holding the forts at Key West and the Dry Tortugas, but it’s quite terrible to think that soon, we may have to dread Federal ships out at sea, and fear any arrival, lest it be a foreign attack! What a situation! My mother and father were here, and Lawrence, Ian, and I discussed the coming difficulties with them. It’s very strange, because Father and Ian are on opposite sides, but they both see the same fate for Florida—it cannot be defended, but then again, how to blockade so very many miles of coastline? Ian told Father that he was sorry Florida was so quick to secede and join the Confederacy, for he thinks the Confederacy will have no choice but to throw Florida to the wolves if and when war does break out. Ian says that the Confederacy will have to strip Florida of her men to fight farther north, leaving Florida vulnerable to all manner of attack. Father might well agree with him, but he asked Ian what in God’s name would the North want with our swampland. One way or the other, it will be a strange war on the peninsula. We will grow food and supply manpower. Salt, cattle, and men!
Your husband was well, bragging about your baby, whom I long to see, of course. I was terribly sorry to see Ian go; God knows when, or under what circumstances, we will meet again. Take the greatest care in these dark hours. My love,
Jen
The letter had been written several weeks before Alaina received it, which left her feeling more frustrated than ever. She didn’t want to be here. Her heart was in the South. She longed to see Belamar again, to run on the beach. Spring was coming to D.C., but not quickly enough for Alaina. She belonged in the Far South.
While the nation crumbled, Sean thrived. Alaina delighted in him, and learned to maintain her sanity in Washington—all the while growing increasingly furious with her husband’s absence. She was restless, brooding over the newspapers, wondering where Ian was—and what would happen. Thank God for Rose—and even Risa, whom she saw occasionally at Rose’s home. Risa had a gift for matter-of-factness, and whatever resentment she bore toward Alaina was open, and often tempered by her quick humor. One afternoon the two of them determined to make cookies as guests at Rose’s house. Quite accidentally, Alaina had let slip a cup of flour, and it had spilled all over Risa’s dress. Risa, in turn, had set down a bowl very heavily, and the flour naturally floated over Alaina. After that, they both picked up the flour—and let fly.
Rose’s kitchen was a disaster, but they were laughing uncontrollably until they both sobered at the sound of Sean suddenly waking and bellowing out in hunger. “I think your son is calling you,” Risa told her.
“Is it safe to go get him?” Alaina inquired.
“Is it safe?” Risa inquired innocently.
“Dare I turn my back, lest there be another barrage?” Alaina demanded.
Risa smiled very slowly. “You’re safe. You’re quite safe from me.” Risa dusted off her hands. “Of course, I understand there’s a widow living outside of Tampa who might not be quite so safe.”
Alaina inhaled so sharply that she breathed in a cloud of flour and began to cough. Risa pounded on her back. “Sorry—I mean, you do know her, I assume, and know about her?”
“Yes, I know her—and you were condemning me for being naked in a pool. Well, your dear honorable almost-fiancé was only in that pool because of the widow to whom you now refer.”
“Ah!” Risa said softly, her dark lashes sweeping her floured cheeks. Then she looked to Alaina with a shrug. “It just goes to show you that a woman behaves honorably, as she has been taught all her life—and pays for that nobility. Had I not heeded propriety, I’d probably be married to Ian now.”
“You really did love him,” Alaina said quietly.
“I really did. But I also promise you, as long as you don’t throw your marriage away, I’m no threat to you. I’m the honorable one, remember?”
Alaina smiled, looking at Risa. “I’m not afraid of Lavinia—the widow Trehorn. She amused Ian, and nothing more. You are a threat to me, because he cares about you. He may still be in love with you; I don’t really know.”
Risa stared at her, hands on her hips for a long moment. “You two are married, and you have a beautiful child—with a bloodthirsty scream. Please, go attend to him!”
Alaina smiled. To her amazement, she reached for Risa and gave her a quick hug before hurrying off to clean herself up and tend to Sean. Strangely, she felt that she had found a good friend.
While Risa was decidedly pro-Union, Rose Greenhow was not. She was amazingly truthful about her sympathies for the South, while maintaining wonderfully proper but flirtatious relationships with Union officers, cabinet members, and congressmen. Alaina, who was far more quiet in her convictions, nevertheless enjoyed Rose tremendously.
Yet no matter what friendships she formed in Washington, she wondered how long she could bear to remain, because every day brought new information about the great divide splitting the country. Everywhere, militia groups formed, horses and arms were counted, the United States army began to arrive en masse in Washington, D.C. Despite Ian’s threat—or promise—that he would hunt her and the baby down if she were to leave him, she longed to find a way home—to his family, if need be. Surely, going to her in-laws could not be considered desertion! Besides which, Ian had no right to threaten her, when it was he who had left.
One evening in early April, Alaina was invited to a “casual buffet supper” at Rose Greenhow’s home, and Alaina determined to ask for her wise older friend’s advice, if not assistance. She had been surprised to discover—through Rose herself—that Rose, who was extremely friendly with many high-ranking officers and officials, was also an ardent anti-abolitionist. Rose’s father had been murdered by a black man who had risen against him when Rose was just a child.
Alaina didn’t know exactly what had happened, but Rose had been very young, and she didn’t carry reason in her breast, merely hatred. Many people hated for different reasons; she knew her own hatred for blue uniforms might not be entirely just, but it was there. She recalled a letter from Julian regarding the special legislative session in which Florida had decided on leaving the Union; apparently, one of their neighbors had proclaimed that it was a pity Harriet Beecher Stowe hadn’t died as a child—that way, Uncle Tom’s Cabin wouldn’t have been written, and the entire country might not be up in arms!
Rose Greenhow’s strange conflict of feelings seemed to make her all the more an interesting person, and Alaina thought that if she was able to make it back home, she was going to miss Rose. But she was going to escape Washington. For home. Soon.
On the night of Rose’s buffet, Alaina dressed carefully, wearing one of the new black mourning dresses she’d had made since the baby’s birth. The neckline was lower than those she had worn lately, and the bodice was laced and closed with a series of tiny buttons. Her sleeves were short, and she’d had a beautiful shawl made that fell gracefully from her arms. She felt in an exceptionally reckless mood that afternoon, and when she reached the Greenhow house, she was glad she had come. The house was filled with laughing men and women, and even if the soldiers were sounding like braggarts, they were all in a high state of excitement—everyone in the country seemed to be waiting, for what, no one was quite sure.
“Alaina! How delightful that you’ve come,” Rose told her, greeting her with kisses on both cheeks, then added in a soft whisper, “You do your husband very proud, you know. From senator to soldier, the men find you quite charming, and my lady friends are taken with you as well! Be a love, I need you to help me entertain. There’s a group of young soldiers on the porch who have just been stationed here, and they’re quite lonely, in need of sweet, feminine advice. Let me introduce you.”
Rose led Alaina out the back door where four handsome young soldiers lounged against the railing. At the ladies’ appearance they all quickly straightened. “Boys!”
Rose drawled with her delightful accent, “you are at ease here. I’ve brought you Major Ian McKenzie’s wife to meet, just in case you find yourselves riding with her husband somewhere in the future! Alaina, the boys are all recent graduates of West Point—there you have Charlie Litwin, Harold Penny, William Mony, and Nate Dillon. Gentlemen, Mrs. McKenzie.”
Alaina smiled, acknowledging them all. The men greeted her enthusiastically, caps in their hands. Charlie slicked back his hair nervously.
“Punch, ma’am? I’ll just bring you some punch,” William offered.
“Why, thank you,” Alaina said, smiling. It would have been impossible not to enjoy their attention.
William brought her punch. Harold ushered her to the porch’s largest cushioned rocker. “Well, gentlemen,” she said, lifting her punch cup. “To the future.”
“To the future!” Charlie said.
“Whatever it may be,” Harold added a little glumly.
“You sound upset, sir,” Alaina said.
“I am. I’m from Maryland, ma’am, and I’m not quite sure yet whether I’m North or South.”
“Really?”
William explained. “Harold and I are both from Maryland. Charlie and Nate are Virginians.”
“Ah.”
“Maryland isn’t going to secede. It just isn’t going to happen. Geographically, the North can’t let it happen,” Charlie said.
“But if Maryland chooses—” Alaina began.
“Ma’am, it ain’t always what we choose!” Nate said, and drew a map in the air, explaining what it took to move large groups of men, and how armies worked with cavalry, infantry, artillery, reconnaissance—and spies. Their conversation intrigued Alaina, as did the fact that they seemed so willing to tell her so much. A certain amount of flirting was natural and in order, and after her last encounter with her husband, it felt very good indeed.
“Now, Virginia, ma’am,” Nat was saying, his wheat-colored eyes bright and his manner charming, “is not a brash lady. No, ma’am. She’ll not get hot under the collar, get her dander up—lest some great fight takes place and she is called to take up arms against her friends. No, sir, she’ll balk like a mule!”
“And if Virginia secedes, Lieutenant Dillon?” Alaina inquired. She was quite comfortable; Rose’s punch had assuredly been spiked with a bit of whiskey. The rocker moved back and forth, the breeze was pleasant. The sun was beginning to set as they talked, the moon to rise. Nate and the others leaned against the railing in a semicircle around her; it was almost as if she was holding court.
“Ma’am, I don’t know. I do love Virginia, mightily. But I know some good men who just can’t see clear to what is happening. Right now, I’m just praying that Virginia stays in the Union. But everybody is preparing for bloodshed. If old Virginia secedes, they lose some of the finest men in all the military.”
“Yes, of course,” she said, smiling at Lieutenant Dillon. Then her smile faded.
There was someone standing in the doorway to the porch, standing very still within the frame and shadowed by the coming of night. Yet she knew the stance and the build.
Ian was there.
Her heart began to tremble. She felt the strangest weakness sweeping over her.
She blinked quickly, thinking the twilight was playing tricks on her. But it was Ian, and she wondered just how long he had been standing there watching her. Listening to her conversation.
“Ian!” she gasped.
“Hello, my love,” he murmured, moving into the misty light of the early evening.
Lieutenant Dillon sprang to attention, the other young men following his lead. “Sir, Major, sir!” he said.
“Sir, Lieutenant, sirs, all of you—at ease,” Ian teased lightly in return, his smile crooked as he strode to stand behind Alaina’s chair. She tried to rise; his hands upon her shoulders kept her down, and he leaned to kiss her quickly on the cheek. She felt herself stiffen against his touch, despite the fact that her heart continued to pound wildly.
It was only the presence of others that kept her manner calm, her voice level, as she spoke to him. “What a… surprise,” she murmured. “When did you return to Washington?”
“Quite recently.”
“And you came straight here!” she exclaimed, her tone so light that the edge to it was barely discernible. “The perfect officer and gentleman, seeking the company and enlightenment of his fellow officers even before seeing to the welfare of his own wife and son.”
“But I’ve found my wife here—how very fortunate,” Ian responded smoothly. “It’s so good to see that you haven’t pined away during my absence. It’s a relief to see you entertained by Union fighting men, and it seems you admire the Union uniform when worn by these young men. Ah, but then again, gentlemen! You must learn to take greater care in the company of Southerners! My wife is a Floridian—she could be seeking military secrets from the lot of you.”
Lieutenant Dillon, who had appeared very nervous and uncomfortable, laughed—apparently finding himself at ease at last since Major McKenzie joked with him so.
“But, sir! She’s your wife.”
“Indeed,” Ian murmured. “Well, gentlemen, I thank you for entertaining my wife, and I bid you good night. Alaina, my love, I must admit, I am weary, and ready for my home.”
Alaina longed to say that he’d been getting about on his own quite well for some time now—he was welcome to continue doing so. But the pressure he applied to her shoulder was such that she could let out a shriek or rise, and she chose to rise.
Ian was in a foul humor indeed, for he was very nearly brusque with Rose Greenhow when they said good night, and he didn’t have a single thing to say to her when he set Alaina into her carriage. He didn’t join her, but rode behind the conveyance to the house. Alaina didn’t wait for anyone to help her out; she opened the door, set down the step, and exited the carriage quickly, hurrying into the house. In the foyer, Alaina found Lilly waiting. “Major McKenzie is home, directly behind me, Lilly, if you would see to him.”
She ran up the stairs to her room then, closing the door, leaning against it, gasping for breath. After a moment she went to the crib where Sean slept, and saw that he was not in his little bed.
“Oh, my God!” she cried in sheer panic. She spun around, racing back to her door, but it opened just as she reached it, and she plowed straight into Ian. She brought her hands up against his chest, striking him wildly with her fists. “Where is he? Where is the baby? You—”
He caught her wrists, stopping her. “Safe,” he said flatly.
She wrenched free of him, backing away, so very afraid of his touch. “But you’ve taken him.”
A deep, dangerous look in his eyes stopped her cold.
Despite her firmest resolve, she found herself shaking. “I had no idea where you were. You chose to leave without saying a word to me. It’s true, I meant to leave, before it became impossible to do so. I waited here a long time.”
“Other women wait.”
“Other women’s husbands have the good sense to be loyal to their home state! I was just going to go to your parents’ home.”
“Were you?” he inquired skeptically.
She moistened her lips, painfully aware of her growing fear. He’d been gone a long time. He was leaner. Stronger. Meaner, she thought. Far more ruthless than ever. Solid as steel, as inflexible as rock. Hotter than fire.
“What difference does it make? I want nothing to do with you, Ian. I told you, if you must persist in being a traitor, I don’t want you touching me. Now, I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I want my son.”
She lifted her chin and started to stride past him. He caught her arm, swinging her back before him.
“Oh, no, Alaina, I don’t think so. You’re not walking out of this room now.”
“The hell I’m not!” she said, furious, shaking. She started past him again, this time trying to circle around him for her freedom. It was a futile effort. One long step brought him to her.
“Ian, I—”
She broke off with a shriek, for she found herself lifted and thrown down on her bed. Before she could draw breath, he had pounced upon her like a jungle cat and straddled hard and furious atop her.
“You aren’t going anywhere. Not today.”
“I despise you in that uniform!” she cried out.
“Ah, but what a little hypocrite you are, my love! I come home after endless weeks on duty to find you laughing away, the loveliest little belle in all D.C.—flirting with a circle of young men in uniforms of the United States army. Would flirting describe the situation? Hmm… yes, I think so. But to what end—when you so despise those uniforms?”
“Mrs. Greenhow asked me to help entertain her company,” Alaina said, grating her teeth. His eyes flashed cobalt fire. His thighs were tight about her hips, strong, warm. His hands pinned her wrists to either side of her head, and she wanted very desperately to hate him.
But she didn’t. She just…
Wanted him.
“Ian, leave me be!” she pleaded.
He shook his head slowly. “I’ve never been anything but honest with you. I’ve never made promises I could not keep. And you can shriek and scream that I’m a traitor until the end of time, but I’m your husband, and I’ll be damned if I’ll spend my time watching you flash your smile and laugh and flirt with other men while you seek to deny me!”
“You’re pigheaded and arrogant and you’ve no rights when you simply leave—” she began, but this time her words were broken off by the force of his lips upon hers. She forgot what she had been saying. His mouth was all-consuming, covering, devouring hers. The passion of his kiss momentarily stunned her and all she could do was taste the wonder of his mouth, feel the brutal but sensual plundering of his tongue, demanding, thirsting, taking, arousing, eliciting. The feel and scent of him were so unbearably sweet that she could scarcely believe he was with her again, the weight of his body so hard against her own. His hands stroked her cheeks, held her face to his kiss. His knuckles brushed her throat … his fingers…
Plucked one by one the tiny buttons of her bodice until her breasts were free, and his hands and lips were upon them, cupping, kneading, massaging, teasing, tasting, taunting….
Her fingers threaded through his hair. Her breasts were swollen; she’d been away from the baby several hours. And she told herself that Ian’s touch should hurt, but it did not, she wanted more.
“No…” she whispered softly.
He paid no heed.
But then, just then, from somewhere below in the house, she heard Sean begin to cry. She jerked, trying to rise.
“Ian, the baby!”
“We have a good staff who will see to the baby!” he exclaimed in exasperation.
“But Ian—”
To her amazement, he rose suddenly, shedding his boots, his uniform jacket, and shirt. She stared at him for a minute, then tried to clasp her bodice together, rolling swiftly to the side of the bed.
She never made it. He was back, stripped down to his breeches, and she was pinned beneath him. “Do you really want me going elsewhere?” he inquired softly.
She inhaled sharply, staring at him. “Oh! You really are a bastard!” she hissed.
“Do you?”
“Perhaps—”
He cupped her face, stroking it with his palm, staring into her eyes. “Can you really say, my love,” he demanded very softly, “that you don’t want me? If you can say so…”
She gasped, spun about suddenly as he impatiently maneuvered the dress from her. “You’re going to rip it!” she cried.
“Good. I should rip all your clothing. You’d be forced to stay inside.”
“Ian, I’ve just had it made.”
“It’s far too revealing.”
“It’s a mourning gown!”
“Indeed.”
The gown didn’t rip; still, she struggled against him as she found herself stripped of her linen chemise, pantalettes, petticoats, and shoes and stockings. She shoved against him, only to linger on the hot sleek feel of his flesh. It was impossible not to feel his nakedness against her own, his chest pressed to her breasts, the proof of his arousal, still caught within the tautness of his breeches….
“My love…” he whispered, fingers smoothing her hair into a fan on the pillow, breath fanning her cheeks. His hands moved over the length of her nakedness, demanding, subtle, barely brushing her flesh, then pressing insistently against it… his lips against her. Hot. Kisses, searing, falling on her throat, her breast, belly, thighs, and then between….
Molton lead seemed to shoot through her, unbearably sweet, so sensually intimate after so long a time that she shrieked, fingers tearing into his hair. She felt herself shudder with a flood of instant, searing sensation. She tried to curl into the covers, embarrassed by the swift violence of her response in the midst of her denials. But he was up with her, his arms around her, forcing her to face him, and his lips covered hers again, the taste of their intimacy between them, and the stroke of his hand upon her then was tender and light, amazingly awakening the stirrings of hunger deep within her again.
His lips broke from hers. Pressed against her cheek. Nuzzled her ear.
“Should I leave now?” he whispered.
She tensed, longing to hit him, but he was suddenly over her, challenging her with his eyes, and parting her legs with the sudden hard shift of his body. She closed her eyes, shaking again, as he came very slowly into her, apparently aware, despite whatever emotion lay between them, that she needed gentleness this first time after the baby’s birth…
And yet…
Oh, God…
It was easy. Easy to want him. Easy to feel the rise of longing, aching. Needing…
Easy to feel the fire, and become captured within the golden flames of its fury. Everything about him seemed as fuel to that fire, the friction of his bare flesh against her own, the hardness and heat of his muscles, the feel of him, inside her, a part of her, touching, stroking, inside, impetus rising, the cobalt of his eyes impaling her own, his every thrust driving her upward to a hunger like in- sanity, wanting, seeking, reaching that incredible surcease….
She lay then, gasping for breath, feeling the sweetness steal throughout her again, quaking in its elusive pleasure. She felt the last shudders rake through his body as well. She was deliriously happy; she wanted to cry. And she wondered if their marriage, no matter how ridiculously begun, might have been wonderful if not…
If not for the world around them.
He lay beside her, stroking her back, evoking a last convulsive shudder from her as she curled into his shoulder, glad to just have him by her side. She didn’t want to, but she loved the feel of his flesh, the sight of his muscled arms, the structure of his hands. She loved his face, handsome features, searing eyes; his mouth, so generous, sensual, quick to curl in laughter … in anger.
His fingers moved into her hair; his lips pressed against her forehead.
“If this is how you hate me, my love,” he whispered, “you must continue to do so.”
She raised a fist to pummel his shoulder; he laughed, yet it had a hollow sound, and he caught her hand before she could strike, easing out her clenched fingers, stroking the center of her palm.
Lying beside him, cloaked by his warmth, she felt a shudder rip through her again. “You’re wrong, Ian!” she said miserably. “I don’t hate you.” She hesitated briefly. “I love you.”
He was dead still. Then he rose on an elbow to stare down at her. Before he could speak, she added quickly, “But I hate the way you treat me; I hate what you’re doing. I want to go home.”
He was silent a moment. Then he leaned toward her and kissed her lips very slowly and sensuously. “Don’t hate anything tonight, my love. Don’t hate at all.” He pulled her into his arms, drawing her hands against the breadth of his chest and cradling her tightly to him. “Feel me, Alaina. Abide with me. Tonight, we are home.”
Quick tears stung her eyes. She buried her head against his shoulder, trembling. He started to make love to her again, and sensation swept into her, robbing her of all thought except for the certainty that she did love him.
And in his arms, she was happy. She longed to be at peace. She could almost…
Feel the sun.
It was good that the next few days went well, and that they had time together.
Time in which they didn’t talk.
Because Beauregard’s troops had been ordered to fire on the Union men who had refused to surrender Fort Sumter. Major Anderson had gallantly held on, but in the end it had come to a test of arms.
It was war.
“What will you do now?” Alaina demanded, finally putting the unspoken question squarely between them. “What will you do? It is war, real, bloody war, and your army is firing on your people.” She turned her back on him as they stood in the parlor, the newspaper lying on the floor between them.
He was quiet for a long moment, then he sighed. “I will do what I have been doing. I will stand fast for the Union.”
She spun around. “Then I will hate you!” she promised him.
He stared at her a long while, cobalt eyes unfathomable. “I’ve made my choice; I suppose you must make yours. So, my love—hate me,” he suggested, and spun on his heel, leaving her there.
She wondered bleakly if he had gone to Risa, who stood as staunchly for the preservation of the Union as any soldier who might ever fight upon the field.
Alaina sank into a chair, trembling, praying, wondering how she could endure either staying or leaving. She was trying not to cry, but at last a sob escaped her.