Chapter 30

Tuesday 2nd November, 4:12am

I slam the taxi door, frozen air folding around me. A few lights come on behind upper floor windows, the striped curtain fabric of the flat above the cafe drops back into place. The road is empty, the receding taxi taillights bleeding into the darkness. No sign of the woman, but rapid footsteps ring along the cobbled side street.

I shove the letter into my pocket and hurry after her, pulling my coat tight about me, frost biting at my cheeks. Dawn is several hours away and with no streetlights I’m glad of the moonlight. The clear sky is perfectly black, stars as bright as I’ve ever seen them. I turn into the narrow alley, shadows from the crowded cottages cut across the cobbles. I slow down, less sure of my footing.

‘Shirley! Wait, it’s me, Kate.’

The slope towards the river is steep in daylight, but now it’s as if the road falls from under my feet. Slippery, wet cobblestones, I have to slow down. I can’t hear anything. No hurrying footsteps. I pick my way further from the high street, my confidence ebbing away with each step. Maybe I should go straight to Haverscroft? If the children are there, I shouldn’t delay. The prospect of the lane, the dark and silent churchyard, the empty house, does not appeal. Shirley will know where my children are, no need to go to Haverscroft if she has them.

There’s no sign of the woman. Maybe I was mistaken, not Shirley, someone else. She’s not likely to be running around at this time of the morning nearly getting herself run over.

I stop and stare along the narrow street. The cottage I think is Shirley’s is about twenty metres further on from here. It’s in total darkness. No lights show in any of the cottages. I only caught a glimpse of the figure under her layers of coat and scarf, it could have been anyone.

A shadow stirs in the doorway to my left. I step backwards, breath catching in my throat. It grows deeper, more solid. My feet slither on the cobbles, the shadow moving closer. No one will hear me if I scream. Can I make it if I run back to the high street?

‘Kate! Goodness me. I’m so glad to see you!’

Shirley clamps her arms around me and hugs me so fiercely for a moment I can’t move.

‘We’ve been terribly worried. I can’t tell you what I’ve been imagining. Are you alright? Fancy the police keeping you all that time.’ She laughs, a small nervous sound in the darkness. ‘I wondered who was running after me. Scared me half to death you did!’

I can’t make out her face, but her voice is incredibly good to hear. She’s so solid, safe and normal. I hug her back, hold her tight. I’m shivering badly, she must notice it.

‘Quickly, now, let’s get inside.’ She grabs my wrist and tugs me behind her.

‘Hang on, Shirley, I’ll skid over at this rate!’

My feet slither and slip, Shirley drops my wrist and dashes ahead. She stops on her doorstep and gropes in her bag. She’s breathing heavily, ramming her key into the lock as I reach her.

‘Come in, Kate. Quickly, love.’

She presses her hand into the small of my back, ushering me inside. She puts on the hall light and slams the door, locks it and draws the security chain into place. She stands still staring at the closed door with her back to me.

‘Is everything alright, Shirley?’

She glances over her shoulder, smiles and heads past me to the kitchen. I follow.

‘Of course. I just gave myself the jitters. Silly at my age, really it is!’

She snatches a tea towel off a kitchen chair.

‘Take a seat, love, you must be exhausted.’

I sit and watch her pull clothes off the backs of chairs, off the oven rail and throw everything into a laundry basket. She fills the kettle, puts it on and starts unwinding her scarf.

‘Are you sure you’re okay, Shirley?’

The kitchen is a mess, the table full of dirty mugs and plates, a casserole, saucepan and bowls scatter the tiny workspace. There’s a slew of papers on the table at my elbow, crayons and a half-eaten bag of Sherbet Dip-Dab. The twins have been here. Shirley’s stopped dashing about, no stream of warm chatter. She’s probably tired.

‘I can’t believe what happened, really I can’t. Shocking, it is. Shocking. Poor man. Mrs Havers is beside herself, so she is.’ Her voice is a touch hoarse, has Shirley been crying?

She looks at me properly for the first time, her eyes are bright.

‘She was so worried for you, she was. She said she was going to the station to give the police a piece of her mind.’

‘She left a letter with them to give to me. I’m sorry about Richard, really I am, but are the twins, okay? Did you collect them from school? The police had my mobile.’

Her silence, her expression . . . My stomach drops, my mouth suddenly dry. Where are they, where are my children? The kettle starts to rumble.

‘I hope they haven’t been naughty,’ I say, trying to force a lightness into my voice.

Shirley shakes her head, her hand at her throat, pulling at her scarf.

‘They’re with your husband, love. He picked them up, just after eleven this evening it was. Bless them, they wanted to sleep over here, they didn’t want to go back to that house.’ She pauses and stares into my face, her cheeks, scarlet. ‘I tried explaining why they should stay but, well, it all sounded . . .’ she shrugs. ‘You know what I mean, and he was in no mood to listen. He just got angry and said something about his mother being as bad; she won’t come back to the house . . . He wasn’t pleased about that, I can tell you.’

‘The twins are at Haverscroft?’

‘As far as I understand there’s no plan to go to his mother’s. He wanted to know if I’d be free to have the children over the next day or two. They’ve got school, haven’t they?’

I stand, grab my bag from the table, panic washing over me in waves.

‘You can’t go out there, love, not right now.’ I stare at her, she’s deadly serious. ‘Wait, till it’s light, at least. The children will be alright, won’t they, once they’re asleep in their beds? There’s no point disturbing them at this time.’

‘I don’t want them at that house, Shirley. Mark doesn’t get it, you know he doesn’t!’

My voice sounds angry, sharp. None of this is Shirley’s fault, but there’s no way I can have my children in that house. I put my bag on my shoulder and reach for the door. I must get to the twins as fast as possible.

‘No, love!’Her abrupt tone stops me in my tracks. ‘There’s so much gone on. It’s not safe to be out in the village at this time of night.’

‘What do you mean? For goodness sakes, it’s Weldon!’

‘Let me make some tea and I’ll explain what’s been happening over a cuppa.’

She’s beside me, has hold of my arm before I can move.

‘You can’t go walking about out there, love, really you can’t. I think you should stay here, but if you really want to go, I’ll call you a taxi, one won’t be long coming at this time. I’ll tell you what’s been going on while we wait.’

I push the chair back and try to find the space to pass her. I don’t want to manhandle her out of my way, but I will if I have to. I don’t need a taxi.

‘I have to get the children, Shirley!’

Sharp hammering on the front door makes us both jump. Shirley looks terrified.

‘Who in the Lord’s name would that be at this time?’

Her grip on my arm is fierce, I feel each of her fingers pressing into my flash through the fabric of my coat. The hammering again, heavy, slower this time.

‘Wait here, Kate. I’ll see who it is.’

‘Shall I come with you?’

Shirley stares into my face, shakes her head.

‘Wait here, love.’