THE flight to Dublin was short and uneventful. They hadn’t had to queue at security. All they had to do was show their passports and then they were ushered on to the plane. Daniel had carried his son up the short flight of steps as if he weighed no more than a bag of sugar. The three of them had played ‘Go Fish’ during the flight—after explaining the rules to a baffled-looking Daniel. She hadn’t seen much of him since that day in the gym, and when she did, he had treated her with his usual courtesy. She’d almost managed to make herself believe that she was mistaken about the charged atmosphere between them.
‘I win,’ said Harry, waving his empty hand in the air. ‘You’re useless at this, Dad.’
‘Just as well I don’t have to make my living as a card player, then,’ he laughed. He looked good in his short-sleeved, open-necked shirt and jeans. Almost too good.
And he and Harry were getting on well, although Harry would tell his father off every now and again for babying him.
* * *
The journey to the farm had taken an hour and Colleen had felt herself relax as soon as Daniel had steered the car off the motorway and on to the country roads-lead to the farm. Her mother had cleared out one of the unused farmworker cottages for Daniel and was planning to put Harry into Colleen’s old room as it was the only one on the ground floor.
As soon as they stepped out of the car Colleen’s mother came rushing up to greet them. ‘I’ve put the dogs away in case they jumped on Harry,’ she said. As soon as Daniel had transferred Harry to his wheelchair, she bent down and shook Harry’s hand. ‘I’m Sheila, Colleen’s Mammy. You must be Harry. Welcome to our home.’
Harry smiled shyly. ‘Thank you for asking me.’
Sheila straightened. ‘And you must be Harry’s dad. Daniel, isn’t it? Well, come in, Danny and Harry. Let’s get you fed. Colleen tells me you’re wanting to see the puppies. We’ll do that after you’ve had a taste of my special dumplings. Why don’t you go and say hello to your brothers, Colleen, while I settle our guests?’ She waved a hand in the direction of the hills. ‘They’re out there somewhere.’
‘It’s okay, Mammy. I’ll catch up with them later. I want to be around when Harry sees the puppies. Actually, I can’t wait to see them myself.’
The large, scrubbed pine table in the kitchen was laid for tea. There were plates groaning with sandwiches, others piled high with home baking, while her mother’s enormous tea pot took centre stage. It was always like this, Colleen thought, happily. The minute she stepped inside this room it was as if she’d never been away.
Daniel pushed Harry in his wheelchair up to the kitchen table and Colleen handed the sandwiches around. It was an inspired choice by her mother as Harry would be able to feed himself. If she’d made soup, he would have needed help. Colleen knew instinctively that the lad would have hated that in front of people who were strangers.
‘Do you like horses, Harry?’ Sheila asked.
‘Yes. I can’t ride, though.’
‘Colleen could take you up on Dobbin if you like. He’s as gentle as a lamb and my daughter rides better than most people can run.’
Daniel stopped eating and stared at Colleen in surprise.
‘I’m a woman of many talents,’ she quipped.
‘Why? What else can you do?’ Daniel said with a wink at Harry.
Colleen pretended to think. ‘Mmm. Let me see…I can do a Sudoku puzzle in under three minutes and I’m an okay pool player. Learnt from my brothers.’
‘Don’t let her fool you, Daniel. She wipes the floor with most of the men down at our local.’
‘We should have a game some time,’ Daniel said.
Colleen smiled and shrugged nonchalantly. ‘Sure, as long as you don’t mind losing.’
The look he gave her left her in no doubt that that wasn’t going to happen—not in his lifetime at any rate. Or was she reading too much into his lingering gaze that was oh so difficult to pull away from. Flustered, Colleen pushed her chair back from the table. ‘Leave the dishes, Mammy, I’ll do them. You sit down and relax for a bit.’
Sheila looked incredulous. ‘What do I need to relax for? Besides, wouldn’t it be good if you showed our guests to their rooms?’
Colleen knew there was no point arguing with her mother. ‘Let’s get Harry settled first, then.’ With a tilt of her head, she beckoned Daniel to follow her and Harry down the hall.
‘Harry’s in my old room,’ she said over her shoulder.
‘It’s got French doors leading out to the back courtyard as you can see.’ The three of them squeezed into the small bedroom and Colleen coloured at the poster of a once-popular Irish boy band on the wall.
Harry looked at Colleen and grinned. ‘You didn’t like them, did you?’
‘Hey, they’re Irish. Of course I love them.’
‘Seems the more we find out about Colleen, the more she surprises us!’ Daniel said. The gleam in his eyes made her heart lurch.
‘Can we go look at the puppies now?’ Harry asked. ‘I want to choose the one that’s going to be mine.’
‘Of course we can.’ Anything to get away from Daniel and that breath-stealing look in his eyes. ‘Then we’ll show your dad his room.’
* * *
Daniel looked around the tiny bedroom of the cottage where he’d be staying for the next couple of days. He lay down on the narrow bed. If he stretched his arms out wide he could touch both of the walls simultaneously and if he stretched out to his full height, his feet would touch that wall, too. Come to think of it, it was very like the room he’d had in boarding school. That had been about the same size and was equally sparsely furnished. But this room didn’t fill him with dread as that room had. This room was bright and, with the addition of a vase of wild flowers on the bedside table, more welcoming than most rooms in which he had stayed in the past. The whole house had the same sort of feel. The McCullochs weren’t rich, anyone could see that, but what they might be lacking in wall-to-wall TVs was more than made up for by the warm and friendly atmosphere.
And Colleen was at the centre. Just as she was at the centre of his and Harry’s life. And he didn’t want her just because he needed her—he wanted her because he couldn’t imagine a life without her. Now she was no longer engaged, it was time for him to find out whether she could love him.
Leaving his unpacking for later, he went to find her.
* * *
Colleen was pushing Harry in his wheelchair towards him.
‘Are you coming to see the puppies, Dad?’ Harry said excitedly. Already his son seemed happier than Daniel had ever seen him. Although he needed time alone with Colleen, it would have to wait for a few minutes. Soon, he hoped, they’d have all the time in the world.
The puppies, who were in a small enclosure in one of the other, unused outhouses, were, as Colleen had guessed, an instant hit. Harry watched in delight as the chocolate Labradors squirmed and wriggled over their mum in an attempt to feed. He was far more delighted with the puppies than any present Daniel had ever given him. Once again, Colleen was right. Harry wanted company and attention, not gifts. How come he hadn’t been able to see that before?
But he knew the answer. He hadn’t known it before because he had needed Colleen to show him what love meant.
‘They’re only small yet,’ Colleen told Harry, ‘so you won’t be able to take one home for another couple of weeks. You can choose one today though, if you like. She reached out for the biggest puppy and placed it in Harry’s lap. What about this one? He has the cutest white socks.’
Harry petted the puppy for a few moments before pointing to the littlest one who was struggling in vain to shove his brothers and sisters out of the way so he could feed, too. ‘I want that one.’
Colleen looked doubtful. The puppy Harry had pointed to was the runt of the litter and so small it was possible it might not make it.
‘Won’t you prefer one of the others? That little one isn’t doing so well.’
But Harry stuck out his lower lip. ‘That’s why I want him. He’s weak, like me. But he’s going to get better, get stronger, like me.’
‘If that’s the one you want, that’s the one you’re going to have,’ Daniel said firmly. If he and Harry were about to lose Colleen, this was the least he could do to make it up to his son.
Not that he was ready to let Colleen walk out of his life. Not by a long way.
* * *
A short while later, back in the house, Sheila shooed them outside.
‘Why don’t you and Daniel go for a walk, Colleen? Harry will be fine with me.’
Before Colleen could object, Daniel had taken her by the elbow and steered her outside.
‘We’ll be back shortly,’ he said.
‘Where would you like to go?’ Colleen asked when they were outside.
‘Why don’t you show me around? I’ve never been on a working brood farm before.’
‘Okay. If you like. By the way, have you seen Ciaran?’
‘Ciaran?’ Daniel asked with a frown.
‘Yes, Ciaran. The same Ciaran who came to London.’
Daniel stopped abruptly and looked down at her with the strangest expression on his face. ‘I want to ask you something,’ he said.
‘Sure. Although I don’t promise that I can answer it.’
Daniel looked around. ‘Is there anywhere more private?’ he asked. ‘Maybe on the other side of the house? Where no one can overhear us?’
‘There’s a bench down by the lake, but what is it, Daniel? Is there something wrong?’
‘Let’s go down there and then we can talk.’
Was he going to tell her that her services were no longer needed? That Harry was making such good progress that they could manage on their own? The thought filled her with dismay. She couldn’t bear the thought of leaving them, but the truth was that Daniel only saw her as his son’s nurse. Oh, she’d no doubt Daniel needed her and liked having her around, but one day soon he and Harry would no longer need her. Harry was making so much progress and his relationship with his father was improving day by day. Which was brilliant. Everything she’d hoped for. Why, then, did it feel as if her heart was been slowly ripped into tiny pieces?
She led the way down a slope at the back of the house until they came to a bench built of stones. Her father had made it when he and her mother had first moved to the farm. He’d always said it was the place he came to when he needed to work out a problem. They sat down next to each other and Colleen was acutely conscious of Daniel’s thigh touching hers. She longed to rest her head against him and let the world carry on without them—keep everything the way it was—even for a short while.
‘Okay, shoot. Ask me your question,’ Colleen said, pushing the thought away. She still had a job to do.
‘How many times have you been in love?’
The question took her so much by surprise that she laughed out loud. ‘I can’t see that that is any of your business,’ she said. ‘When I said you could ask me anything, I thought it was about Harry. My private life is—private.’
‘But you know everything about my private life. Come on, Colleen, we’re friends, aren’t we?’
Friends? Is that what they were? ‘I guess so,’ she said slowly. ‘Still doesn’t mean you can ask me personal questions.’
‘Just humour me, please.’
‘How many times have I been in love? I had a crush on a boy in my class when I was eight that lasted about a year, but I don’t think that counts. Then with Ciaran, I guess.’
‘So how did you know that you were in love?’
Colleen laughed again, but it sounded forced, even to her own ears. ‘Let me get this right. I’m here because you’re looking for some kind of agony aunt. You’ve met someone and don’t know whether it’s the real McCoy, is that it?’
Who? Who had he met? When did he have time to be with a woman? As far as she knew, when he wasn’t working he was with Harry—or her.
‘No. I would know.’
‘And how would you know?’
‘Because being with that person makes me happy. I want to be with her all the time, want to see her smile, want to make her laugh, want to comfort her when she’s down, want to make love to her all the time.’ Something in his tone, as if he found the words difficult to say, made her realise he was deadly serious.
‘The way you felt about Eleanor when you first got together?’ she asked. Envy ate into her soul. It would be something to be loved by Daniel.
‘No, the way I felt about Eleanor was different. I wanted her—I thought she was beautiful. But…there was something missing. I only realised that for sure when…’ He cleared his throat. ‘I only realised that later.’
Colleen’s heart was racing. ‘I’m not sure where this is going, Daniel.’
He turned so he was facing her. He pushed her hair off her face and, gently cupping his hands on either side of her neck, drew her towards him.
She was frozen to the spot as he brought her lips down on hers, so lightly at first it was almost as if she were imagining it. Then the pressure grew firmer and before she knew what she was doing, her fists were knotting into the front of his shirt as she tugged him closer to her. He groaned and pulled her to her feet, pressing her body into his. She felt as if she were on fire from the tips of her toes to the skin on her scalp. It was as if her body had a mind of its own. She wrapped her arms around him, wanting his kisses to be deeper, moulding her body to the length of his. The world receded as she was sucked into a vortex of desire. His hands dropped to cup her bottom and as he pressed her into him, she felt the unmistakable proof of his desire. She moaned as an answering red-hot flame of desire shot through her pelvis.
She’d never felt like this before. She wanted to rip his clothes from his body, so she could feel his naked skin on hers. She wanted her body to melt into his. She had never wanted anything more in the world.
Suddenly he stopped kissing her and stepped back. She felt bereft and chilled with the sudden loss of his warmth. They were both breathing heavily.
‘Did Ciaran ever kiss you like that?’ Daniel said hoarsely. ‘Did he make you want him so much you can hardly bear it? Did he fill your waking thoughts, your dreams?’
No, was the answer. Not ever. Thoughts clambered around her head. But why was he talking about Ciaran?
‘Did Ciaran ever love you the way you deserve to be loved? Have you ever responded to him the way you responded just now?’ Daniel continued.
‘What’s Ciaran got to do with anything?’ she asked, totally bewildered.
‘I need to know if you still love him.’
Colleen gave a shaky laugh. ‘Of course I don’t. I wouldn’t have ended our engagement if I had.’
‘So you broke it off?’ The look of relief on Daniel’s face made her smile.
‘Yes,’ she said, softly. ‘I thought you knew.’
‘I needed to be sure. I need to know that there is nothing to stop us being together.’
Her heart was beating so hard, she could hardly breathe. Daniel wanted her.
‘Don’t you see?’ Daniel said triumphantly. ‘We can be a family. You, me and Harry.’
His words tore her apart.
She understood now. It had happened before, of course, with other family members of patients she had nursed. He was mistaking gratitude for love. And she well knew those feelings would fade; when Harry no longer needed her, Daniel wouldn’t either.
Her arms dropped to her side. ‘Daniel, I…’
He seemed oblivious to the change in her.
‘Don’t you see, Colleen? You belong with Harry and me. You love Harry and perhaps you could love me, too?’
So he’d kissed her so he wouldn’t lose her as Harry’s nurse? The thought made her feel ill. The arrogance of the man! Did he honestly think one kiss from him was all it took? He couldn’t even pretend he was in love with her!
‘And of course you know so much about love—with your own failed relationships behind you—your son and your wife for starters.’ She couldn’t stop herself from lashing out. She was hurting so much inside she thought she’d break apart. ‘I’m an employee, so that makes me fair game, does it? Well, let me tell you, if it wasn’t for Harry I’d tell you where to shove your job.’ Then, before she could say something she was bound to regret later, she turned her back on him and ran back up the slope towards the safety of the house.
She’d only got a little way up the hill before she felt a hand on her arm and she was yanked around to face Daniel.
‘Good God, woman. You don’t believe that I kissed you because of some crack-minded idea of keeping you as an unpaid nurse? Don’t you understand? I’m crazy about you.’
She looked up at him. His green eyes were blazing with such passion she knew he believed what he was saying.
‘Oh, Daniel. Maybe you do think you care about me. But it’s all really about Harry. People often develop feelings for the people who care for them or their families. But it will pass. I promise you. I’ll leave and shortly afterwards you’ll forget all about me. That’s the way it is.’
He took her by the shoulders and she knew by the way his fingers pressed into her that he was having a hard time not shaking her.
‘You’re wrong. I will never stop loving you—never.’
She reached up and touched him gently on the cheek. ‘You believe that…but in time…’ Her throat felt thick and she knew tears weren’t far away. She pushed his hands away. ‘Let me go, Daniel. Just let me go.’
* * *
He had made a mess of that. What had he been thinking? That Colleen would realise as soon as he kissed her that the man she should love was standing right in front of her?
The trouble was he hadn’t been thinking. At least not with his head. Weeks of having Colleen around and not being able to touch her, listening to her plans about getting married, had been bad enough when he thought that she was in love with Ciaran and he with her. He shouldn’t have rushed her. He should have taken his time, made his feelings clear, but instead he’d waded in and kissed her. He simply couldn’t help himself. The truth was he had wanted to kiss her for a long, long time.
And why hadn’t he told her that he loved her straight away, instead of clouding the issue with talk of Harry? Good God, a person would think he’d never made love to a woman before.
And there was the rub. He’d made love to plenty of women in the past, more than he could care to name, but he had never been in love before. Not even with Eleanor. Not like this.
So what was he going to do about it?
Not give up. That was for sure. Colleen and he belonged together. She was the missing part of his soul.
All he had to do now was make her believe that.
* * *
Colleen headed away from the house and towards the paddock. She wasn’t in a fit state to talk to anyone right now. She had to get herself under control first. She touched her lips where Daniel had kissed her. What had got into him? More importantly, what had got into her? She’d responded to him with unadulterated abandon. And if he hadn’t started talking about Harry, it wouldn’t have stopped there.
Now she wished she’d thrown common sense to the wind and allowed herself to take—if only for the moment—what he had offered her. At least until he came to the realisation he and Harry no longer needed her. But to even think that way was crazy—nuts. She’d only recently broken off her engagement and wasn’t about to charge into another one. Especially with Daniel Frobisher—a man whom she’d known for a few short weeks, but who would only break her heart if she let him.
The realisation that she was too late, that she was already in love with him, stopped her dead in her tracks. How could she have been so blind to all the signs?
The mere sight of Daniel made her feel alive in a way she had never felt before. The slightest brush of Daniel’s fingertips against her skin set her nerve endings on fire.
But it wasn’t just physical attraction she felt for Daniel. She loved being with him. Even if he wasn’t touching her, her body felt electrified in his presence. She loved his intensity, his passion, his dedication to his son—everything about him.
She loved Daniel.
She would always love Daniel.
And he cared about her. But for all the wrong reasons. It could never last. Daniel would realise that in time. When she was gone.
She walked over to the paddock and let her horse, Star, nuzzle her hand. Why couldn’t life be simple? Why couldn’t you love the person who was right for you? Why couldn’t the person you loved, love you back? Why couldn’t Daniel love her for herself and not because of Harry?
Why did love have to hurt so much?
* * *
Colleen tucked the covers round an exhausted-looking Harry. Despite his tiredness, there was finally a glow to his cheeks. Sitting down beside him, she stroked a lock of his blond hair from his eyes. Apart from his immobility, he looked like any other healthy, young twelve-year-old and her heart ached for him.
‘Did you have a good day, Harry?’ she asked softly.
Harry grinned. ‘The best.’ He squinted up at her, ‘Your brothers are brilliant fun. Even if they are a bit…’
‘Nutty?’ Colleen finished his sentence for him and laughed. ‘Sure, am I not the only sane one in the family?’
When Harry raised his eyebrow he looked so like his father it made her catch her breath. ‘If you say so,’ he teased back.
Sheila and Colleen had been helping Harry with his walking practice. He could manage the length of the room by himself now. However, Colleen had warned him not to attempt to try walking without her being there ready to catch him, should he stumble.
Colleen leaned over and kissed Harry’s forehead. ‘Night, sweetheart. Remember, I’m right next door to you if you need anything during the night, okay?’ She stood up.
‘Colleen, I want to speak to Dad,’ Harry said.
‘Then I’ll get him for you. Are you ready to tell him about your walking?’
‘Yes. But I want to talk to him first. Will you stay with me?’
His green eyes so like his father’s were filled with anxiety. No matter how much she wanted to avoid Daniel, she couldn’t resist the entreaty in Harry’s voice.
‘Of course I will, if you want me to.’
‘I’ll stay with Harry while you fetch Daniel,’ Sheila said.
* * *
Colleen ran across to the cottage where Daniel was staying. He was sitting outside, looking pensive. Colleen’s heart tumbled. How would she get through the next few weeks seeing him every day, yet knowing she had to keep her distance?
‘Harry wants to speak to you,’ Colleen said.
Daniel got to his feet. ‘I was just coming to see him. It’s beautiful here,’ Daniel said. ‘Maybe I’ll buy a house in Ireland. I think Harry would like that, don’t you?’
‘I think he might.’
‘He’s going to be all right, isn’t he? At last I can finally believe it and it’s largely down to you, Colleen. I wish I knew how to thank you.’
‘I don’t need thanks. Harry would have made it on his own.’
‘Perhaps. But not so quickly.’
The breeze whipped her hair across her face and Daniel reached across and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. ‘You should always wear your hair loose,’ he said. The touch of his fingers on her face made her skin sizzle.
‘Let’s go and see what Harry wants,’ Daniel said. ‘Then I need you to listen to what I have to tell you.’
His words and the look in his eyes held a promise that made her heart do a complicated routine inside her chest.
Inside Harry’s room, Harry was waiting in the chair beside his bed with the sleeping puppy on his lap.
Daniel ruffled his hair. ‘Did you have a good day?’
‘Yes. I like it here. Can we stay longer?’
Daniel hesitated and glanced over to Colleen. ‘I don’t know, son. Colleen’s family has their own lives to be getting on with.’
‘Of course we can stay for a few more days, if that’s what you want, Harry. If your dad doesn’t mind. He can always go back to London to finish off whatever he needs to, but you and I can stay here until he comes back. Then you both can stay until his leave is up.’
Harry’s eyes lit up. ‘Can we, Dad? Then Patch will be old enough for us to take home.’
‘If Colleen and her family are up for it, then yes.’ Daniel sat down on the bed. ‘Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?’
Harry flicked a glance in Colleen’s direction. ‘Something else,’ he mumbled.
‘Fire away. You know you can talk to me about anything.’
Something in Harry’s expression made Colleen’s breath catch in her throat. But she had promised to stay and stay she would. She took the remaining seat beside Harry. Harry was looking at his father. Unshed tears trembled on his long lashes.
‘Why did you wait to tell me you were my dad?’
Immediately Daniel was off his feet and crouching by his son’s side.
‘I didn’t know, son. Your mum only told me you were mine and not David’s after he left you both. If I’d known, I’d never have let you go. I think your mum knew that. So that’s why she didn’t tell me.’
Doubt clouded Harry’s eyes.
‘I didn’t tell you this before because I didn’t want you to blame your mother. Once I knew you were mine, I thought the important thing was for us to get to know each other.’
‘Mum said you didn’t want me. She said you were too busy. And you were.’
‘People say things when they’re hurt, son.’ Daniel continued. ‘I hurt your mother. And I’m sorry about that. But she was wrong. I do want you. I love you more than I can say. I’m sorry that I missed you growing up and I’m sorry that I wasn’t around for you as much as I should have been. But I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.’
Harry smiled and Colleen’s heart splintered. He looked so much like his father. But that wasn’t the only reason her heart felt as if it would shatter into a thousand pieces. Her work with Harry was almost done. All too soon they’d be out of her life and she out of theirs.
‘Does that mean you’ll buy me whatever I want?’ Harry asked. ‘Cool.’
Daniel laughed, too. ‘What it means is that I promise from now on to put you before my work. No more working at weekends—and we’re going to spend every holiday together. You can even choose where we go. You don’t even have to go back to boarding school if you don’t want to. We can find another school closer that you can attend as a day boy if you like.’
‘Hey, Dad. Not so fast. I like my school. All my friends are there. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life hanging around with my father—even if he’s kind of cool.’
Daniel’s eyebrows shot up. ‘You think I’m cool?’
‘Sort of. For an old man.’
Daniel laughed again. ‘Less of the old man, son.’
Harry looked towards Colleen.
‘I think there’s something else Harry wants you to know, Daniel,’ Colleen said, rising to her feet. ‘Why don’t you go and stand by the door?’ Looking baffled, Daniel did as he was asked. ‘Are you ready, Harry?’ Colleen said softly.
Harry nodded and she helped him to his feet. He swayed slightly as he found his balance. Then she let him go and Harry took one step and then another. Daniel stared at his son and moved forwards as if to help him. Harry stopped. ‘No, Dad. I can do it.’
And then, with Harry taking one unsteady step at a time, he walked towards his father and into his arms.
Colleen watched with a lump in her throat as Daniel held his son in his arms. ‘I’ll leave you two to it, then,’ she said. ‘I’ve got to go and see to the horses we had out today—make sure they’ve got fresh bedding and feed.’
Daniel helped his son on to the bed and lay down beside him, gathering him close.
Colleen closed the door gently behind her, pausing only to look at Daniel lying alongside his son, his arm round his shoulders and the pair of them looking so comfortable together. She felt as if her heart was breaking. She would miss Harry terribly when it came time for her to leave. And as for Daniel? The thought of a life without him was almost too much to bear.
But did she have to live without him?
Love wasn’t slow and gentle. Love wasn’t boring. At least not with Daniel. It was exciting and unpredictable. It made your legs feel like jelly and your heart sing from a smile. It made you ache in the night from the need to be close. It made the thought of saying good bye unbearable. Colleen had always played it safe. Maybe now it was time to take a chance? Maybe it was time to be rocked out of her safe world? One thing was for sure—it would be a terrifying ride. But also exhilarating. Maybe Daniel did only love her because he felt indebted to her, but she would never know for sure unless she took the risk of finding out.
Happiness washed over her. Maybe Daniel did love her. In the meantime, she would take whatever he had to offer, no matter how short-lived it was.
* * *
Daniel eased his arm out from under Harry’s shoulders carefully, lest he wake him. Slowly and as quietly as possible, he removed the game console from Harry’s lap and, stretching his arm above his head, shuffled off the end of the bed. A floorboard creaked beneath his feet and he held his breath, but Harry didn’t move. He was definitely sound asleep.
Reaching for the lamp switch, Daniel hesitated, looking down at his son. He’d always loved him—but never more so than at this very moment. Very gently he stroked a finger down his cheek and in his sleep, Harry smiled.
Daniel could hear the sounds of a game show on the TV coming from the living room. Obviously the family relaxing at the end of a tiring day. He popped his head around the door. Colleen’s brothers were all there as well as Sheila.
‘If you’re looking for Colleen,’ Eugene said, ‘she’s mucking out down at the stables. But if you’re looking for company, you’re welcome to join us.’
‘It’s a beautiful evening,’ Daniel replied. ‘I think I’ll go for a walk.’ He had to find Colleen. The sky was streaking orange and gold, casting a shimmering light over the lake that was glass still. Was he becoming a romantic? Daniel grinned wryly. So much was changing, himself included, he wouldn’t be surprised.
* * *
Crunching down the path, he made his way to the stables, wondering if he’d find her still there. But a quick glance in each of the boxes showed resting horses and no sign of Colleen.
He was about to turn on his heel when he noticed a light shining in the barn.
As if sensing his presence, she turned around, showering hay over her shoulder.
‘Come to help?’ she asked.
‘Sure. What would you like me to do?’
Colleen handed him a shovel and pointed to a pile of horse manure. ‘Shovel that up for a start.’
Great. Only his love for her could make him touch the stuff. ‘Shouldn’t your brothers be helping with this?’ He knew he was prevaricating, but he was unaccountably nervous. He had to make Colleen believe that what he felt for her had nothing to do with Harry.
‘They offered.’ Colleen rubbed a hand across her forehead. ‘But I love getting back to the farm and mucking in. It keeps me sane.’
Her fingers brushed his and Daniel felt an overwhelming urge to wrap his hand round hers. With her hair tumbling loose from her scrunchie, jeans low on her hips and the porcelain smoothness of her skin, he’d never felt such desire for a woman. Especially one with smudges of dirt on her cheeks and eyes sparking—not with make-up but with fire and laughter. In which case it was better, if he couldn’t convince her that he loved her, that soon she’d be leaving him and Harry. He couldn’t spend many more days with her and not touch her.
She smiled at him, the moonlight reflecting on her hair turning it to gold.
Daniel removed a piece of straw from her hair and tossed it to the ground. ‘That’s better,’ he said.
She moved towards him and stood on her tiptoes. Her perfume flooded his nostrils, making his head reel. He felt her hands in his hair. ‘You have one, too,’ she laughed.
He couldn’t stop himself. His hands dropped to her waist and his mouth was on hers. He tasted her lips, tentatively at first and then, as she responded, he tugged at the belt of her jeans and pulled her against him.
When she moaned he deepened his kiss. Her tongue flicked against his teeth, driving him crazy with desire. It took all his will-power to pull away from her.
Her eyes were shining and her breath was coming in short gasps.
‘God, I want you, Colleen,’ he murmured. ‘I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you. I want to make love to you—badly. But I want you to be sure.’
Her answer was to pull his head back down so his mouth covered hers once more. ‘You great lummox, can’t you see how sure I am?’
When he released her, she grabbed a horse blanket from one of the stalls and took him by the hand and led him up a ladder into the hay loft. ‘Give me your shirt,’ she demanded.
He slipped it over his head and passed it to her. She placed the blanket with his T-shirt on top of it and lay down, grinning up at him. She held her arms out. ‘Don’t you know better than to keep a girl waiting?’ she asked.
* * *
Later, much later, they lay together. Her head was on his chest, their naked bodies entwined. Rain thudded against the tin roof of the stables like a million bullets. One of the horses stamped his feet and snickered. Colleen called out to the horse and it settled down. She had never felt so peaceful.
‘I love you, Colleen.’ His voice came out of the darkness. ‘I never thought I could love a woman the way I love you.’ He put his hands around her waist and swung her around until she was sitting astride him. ‘Do you believe me now?’
She grinned down at him. ‘Now you wouldn’t just be saying that because you’ve had your wicked way with me, would you?’
‘Don’t you think I would have said it before I had my wicked way with you? Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to work?’
She feigned dismay. ‘Oops, I got it wrong. Damn.’ She felt as if she was floating somewhere above herself.
‘So will you stay with Harry and me?’
Some of the happiness dropped out of her world. ‘Because of Harry?’
‘No, you idiot. Not because of Harry. Because I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you.’ He raked a hand through his hair. ‘I didn’t think I’d ever say that again. But, yes, Harry is part of the deal. I meant what I said to him earlier. I’ve got a lot of making up to do. He needs a father.’
‘And a mother?’
‘Do you think that’s why I’m asking? Harry loves you. I love you. I want you in our lives—permanently. I want you to marry me, Colleen. But if you need time, I want you to be with me any way you choose.’
Colleen’s heart was singing. ‘And here’s me just unengaged. Now you’re wanting me to do it all over again.’
‘The difference is that I want you to do it all over again, but this time with me. Only me. Only ever me.’ His eyes glinted in the dark. ‘I’m warning you, Colleen, now that I’ve found you, I don’t intend to let you go.’