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By the time English rolled around, my hands were shaking.
I should have thought this through. I should have had a better plan. I should have ran away screaming. But there was only five minutes left in class, and if I backed out now, I would never have the strength to do it again. No. It had to happen, and it had to happen today.
My heart banged in my chest, and I took in deep breaths.
I could do this. I could talk to Jake.
The bell rang before I was ready.
No! I needed more time. I hadn’t thought through every aspect. Felt every feeling. Evaluated every angle.
God. I had to pee!
Jake slid from his chair, scooped his book bag off the floor, and started for the door. He wore a blue t-shirt that showed off his muscled arms and chest. His hair was smoothed back, his body relaxed.
He was gorgeous. Almost too gorgeous.
My breakfast rose in to my throat, and I forced it back down.
You can do this. Fortune favors the brave, remember?
I grabbed my book bag, forced my way through the students who bottlenecked at the door, and found Jake in the hallway, walking to his next class.
My throat closed, and my feet felt heavy. I suddenly wanted to break out in tears.
You can do this. You can do this.
By some strength I didn’t know I had, I forced air in to my lungs.
“Jake Winsted!”
He stopped.
Oh God. I’d said it too loud. I didn’t mean to scream his entire name like that, but if I didn’t, it would have gotten stuck in my throat.
He turned, his eyes searching the hallway for who had summoned him. His gaze swept from one side of the hallway to the other before he raised his eyebrow and turned back around.
He looked right through me. I was standing directly in front of him and he didn’t even see me.
My breath left me. My heart fell in to my knees. My legs felt weak. I’d never felt such crushing disappointment in my entire life.
I was invisible, after all. It was perfectly clear now.
I, Bella French, was invisible.
My will seeped out of me by the second. I put my hand over my heart, feeling the hard beating in my fingertips. Somehow, I stumbled against the wall and leaned against it.
I am invisible. I’m-
“You’re an odd duck, French.”
Cole. Why was he always around? He was like a mosquito that I just wanted to slap.
His body, a mirror of his brother’s, walked around me, and leaned against the egg shell colored walls. I avoided his eye, looking at his sneakers instead. I noticed that they were basketball sneakers. The kind that people wait in lines all weekend for. Not like my nondescript red ones.
God. I was such a loser!
“You parade around like you’re some quasi-genius, then you yell people’s names in the hallway like you’re an escapee from a mental institution. It’s quite confusing.”
I closed my eyes and sunk further against the wall.
“Please go away,” I groaned.
“Why? So you can go lusting after my brother like every other brain-dead Barbie in this school?”
My eyes opened, and I glared so hard that my vision blurred.
“I’m not lusting after anybody.”
“So, why were you calling him?”
I looked left then right, assuring myself that no one else was near.
“I was going to offer to tutor him.”
One of Cole’s black eyebrows raised.
“Like an academic tutor? Or a tutor in the ways of love? Because I think you are under estimating Jake in both departments.”
“What does that mean?”
“He doesn’t care about school, and he’s a manwhore. Either way, not on your level. Forget him.”
Forget Jake? That was like asking me to forget my own name.
I ran my hand over my face. Why couldn’t the floor open and swallow me? That would be so nice.
“Cole, I’m not in the mood for one of your self-righteous lectures.”
He held up his hands.
“Not a lecture. Just a word of advice.” He scooted closer to me. “Jake is not the greatest of guys. I think you should set your sights a little higher. Someone more academically inclined, maybe more virginal, like yourself.”
“If you’re talking about you, then I’d rather be eaten by a lion.”
He scoffed.
“Hold on there, French. I didn’t say God level. I’m just saying aim for above Neanderthal and somewhere in the realm of educated human.”
I rolled my eyes, and pushed off the wall. Why did I talk to Cole? Why did I give him the time of day? Why did Jake look through me? Why was I so invisible?
“Earth to French.” Cole snapped a finger in front of my face, interrupting my swirling thoughts. “You’re doing that thing where you check out again. Am I that boring?”
“Boorish is more like it.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“If you spell boorish, I will give you a cookie. Not homemade, and it may have fallen on the floor, but I think that you’ll enjoy it either way.”
I rolled my eyes so hard that I thought they would pop out.
“Leave me alone, Cole.”
I pushed past him and made my way down the hall.
“So, you don’t want the cookie?”
I ignored him, my mood souring by the second.
One Winsted brother didn’t even know that I was alive, and the other got his jollies by mocking me.
What was going on with my life?