––––––––
Jake told me to wait by the steps while he and Kenny met by the taxi’s trunk. I obeyed, standing in front of the biggest house that I had ever seen. No. Not house. A mansion. A castle on the water, complete with columns, a doorman in a black suit, and stained-glass windows. We had to take a water taxi to get here, then a cab the rest of the way. I’d never taken a water taxi before, but the way that it sliced through the water made my heart race with excitement.
I’d have to take Ariel up on one of her boat trips one day.
I took in a shallow breath and closed my eyes. For a few minutes, I was Cinderella climbing the steps to the ball. Would my prince be inside, waiting for me? Would I escape, shoeless and filled with wonder at the visions that I’d seen?
The yellow cab’s trunk closed, shattering my illusions.
Jake was zipping up Kenny’s too full bag. Once the book bag was secured, he picked up the silver present box and joined me on the steps. I watched the cab pull away, leaving us stranded here.
“Let’s go.”
We walked through the gold-plated doors and stepped inside. White and gold marble floors greeted me. Loud music played from somewhere. A large, pearl colored staircase led up to a lit second floor.
It was like a fairy tale. I’d never seen a house so beautiful. Maybe in movies, but not in real life. I half expected everyone to be dressed in ball gowns, instead of slinky, sequined dresses that weren’t at all appropriate for the cold fall weather.
Kenny, still with his book bag, walked ahead of us, looking anxious to get somewhere. Kenny always looked anxious, though. He was in such a rush that he tripped and his ever present bookbag came off his shoulders and burst open when it hit the ground. Little, clear bags of white powder and colorful pills scattered across the floor, turning yellow beneath the lights.
Drugs. I had seen it with my own eyes. Kenny was carrying drugs. I reached in to my purse and snapped a quick picture of the book bag with my phone.
“Kenny, you idiot!” Jake roared. “Pick it up and meet me at John’s. And don’t lose anything.”
He put his hand to my back and led me forward, deeper in to the house.
“Was that-”
“Keep your mouth shut. Keep walking.”
I had gotten my first piece of evidence. Up until this point, I’d only seen Jake go to the warehouse and men in dark clothes loading things in to his trunk. I had nothing on him. But he filled Kenny’s bag. He knew what was inside. There was no doubt about it now. Jake was supplying Kenny with the drugs that he distributed to the school.
Fear and excitement shot through me. If Jake knew what I had just done, my body would be in the river. I was sure of it. I had to tell Detective Harding as soon as possible.
We walked beneath an archway and past a super long food table that smelled like heaven. I wanted to stop, but Jake was a man on a mission. I hoped that I could find the food again later. We passed under another arch, walked down a hallway, and then through a huge set of double doors.
This was where the real party was.
The Olympic sized swimming pool was filled with bodies of what looked to be bikini clad super models even in the chilly, mid-November temperatures. I looked closer, and saw steam rising from the water. Was it heated? I didn’t know that you could heat a swimming pool this big. I wanted to dip my toe in, but Jake continued on his march.
Ahead, a DJ boot was built on to a platform above the pool. Leaning against the platform stood a girl that I’d seen in the newspaper’s before. She was Breena ‘Bree’ Labado, one of the twin daughters of the mayor of New York. She was what they called a socialite. A fancy way to say a party girl. Her long black hair was pulled up, her body clad in a red bikini top and a see through, floor length skirt. She looked up at the booth impatiently.
“Bree!” Jake called.
The girl looked around for a moment before her eyes landed on us. She smiled and opened her arms, waiting for Jake to fall in to them. He did so without the slightest hesitation.
“Jake, it’s so good to see you!”
“You, too.” Jake took both her hands in his and took a step back to admire her body. “You look great.”
Bree cheeks pinkened with the flattery.
“So I’m told.”
Jake stepped aside, revealing me.
“This is Bella French, my new girlfriend.”
Bree held out her hand to shake mine.
“It’s nice to meet you, Bella,” she said.
We shook hands. Hers were impossibly soft, like she’d never washed a dish a day in her life. I’m sure that mine felt leather tough to her.
“You, too.”
“We should go on vacation sometime,” she said. “Daddy just brought an island off the coast of Jamaica. It’s small, but it’s private. Maybe the beginning of next year?”
I nodded dumbly. I’d never been to an island, a coast, or Jamaica. Whatever she was planning, I was sure that I could never afford it. But, to save face, I lied.
“Sure. I’ll talk to my Dad.”
“Awesome. What does your Dad do?”
I cleared my throat.
“He’s a stable manager.”
For the first time in my life, I was embarrassed by my lack of money. I thought that was a thing that only shallow people did until about five seconds ago.
“Is that like a hedge fund manager?” she asked.
There was no use explaining my real-life story to her. Especially since I was not planning on seeing her ever again. I nodded.
“Sure.”
“Awesome. We definitely should get together.”
Jake looked over Bree’s shoulder.
“Would you ladies excuse me?” he asked. He jogged up the steps with his silver box to the DJ booth before we could reply.
“So,” Bree said. An awkwardness hung between us. The awkwardness of being stuck with someone that you didn’t know, and you were sure you had nothing in common with.
“You and Jake?”
“Yup. Me and Jake.”
“I’m just surprised, I guess. I mean, with Dana being here and all, I don’t want any unpleasant disagreements.”
“Oh. I didn’t realize Dana would be here.” Of course, I realized Dana would be here. If she weren’t, Jake wouldn’t have bothered bringing me.
“Yeah. I’m guessing that the boy on her arm is her rebound guy.” She shrugged. “So it goes, right?”
I smoothed the impending frown from my face.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that it’s been Dana and Jake for such a long time, and you’re just so different.”
“Is that a good thing?”
She looked me up and down for a full five seconds before she put a plastic smile on her face.
“Sure.”
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. Where was Jake? I was ready to be done with the dark-haired Kardashian wannabe.
“Sorry. I’m making this weird,” she said, shaking her head.
I looked up at the DJ booth. The DJ handed Jake a wad of cash, which he promptly shoved in his pocket. Then, the DJ shook Jake’s hand and pulled out his phone. After a couple of seconds, a girl in a silver sequin dress walked up the stairs. She took the box, and walked back down the stairs, moving among the crowed like one of those cigarette girls in the old movies.
The teens flocked to her, pulling out bags and waving them in the air like they’d just won a prize.
I gasped, feeling a nervous lump in my throat.
“Looks like the goodies have arrived,” Bree said with a smile. The girl in the sequin dressed passed us, and Bree reached in, pulling out two bags of white powder. She handed one to me.
“Here. It will help loosen you up.”
I took it from her, examining the contents. The power was fine, each grain smaller than salt. Bree looked from the pouch to me and smiled, her eyes beckoning me to take it.
Even if I wanted to, and I didn’t, I had no idea how I was supposed to ingest it. Instead, I opened my purse and put the white packet inside.
Exhibit B.
“Maybe in a little bit,” I said, trying to sound casual, even though I wanted to run away screaming. “I should eat first.”
Bree nodded. “Good idea. It’s better not to get high on an empty stomach.”
It was then that Jake chose to walk down the stairs, his trademark smile on his face.
“Getting to know each other, ladies?” he asked.
Bree smiled and nodded. I didn’t.
“We’re becoming best friends,” Bree said. She looked at me oddly, as if wondering why I didn’t parrot her words.
Earth to Bree. I was not a parrot.
Jake took my hand and pulled me to his side. He must’ve spotted Dana.
“I’m going to go show Bella off some more. We’ll catch up soon.”
“Nice meeting you, Bella,” Bree called after us. “Don’t get in too much trouble.”
She laughed too loudly to be genuine as Jake and I walked away.
“So, you’ve met Bree,” Jake said. “She’s amazing, isn’t she?”
I swallowed my fear before answering.
“Sure.”
“Me and her met after I got back from boarding school. I’ve known her my whole life. She’s like my sister.”
“Great,” I said. My eyes went to the pool.
“What’s wrong with you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.”
I was in the middle of a high school version of Scarface. I was terrified.
“Me? No. Just a little overwhelmed. It’s an amazing party.”
He shrugged. “You’ll get used to it.”
“Is, uh, is that drugs they are passing around?”
“You say it like this is a lame after school special.”
I shook my head, ignoring his comment. “Bree gave me some.”
“Oh yeah? What?”
I shrugged. “Some powder or something.”
Jake raised his eyebrows at me. “Are you going to take it?”
I shook my head, my hands shaking.
“No. It’s just weird. They’re passing it out like candy.”
“To be fair, it’s really good candy.”
“That you brought here?”
His eyes hooded.
“Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that you’re going to narc on us?”
“I’m not narcing on anyone. I’m just curious. That’s all.”
Jake examined me for a moment.
“How about I give you a dollar, and show you how to satisfy that curiosity?” he asked.
A shiver ran down my spine.
“I’m not going to use it, Jake.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
He held out his hand, silently asking for the powder in my purse.
I pulled it out and dropped my second piece of evidence in to his awaiting palm.
“If I find out that you told anyone about this, they will find your father’s body at the bottom of the school swimming pool. Understood?”
I swallowed down the horror that raised within me and quickly nodded.
“I won’t say anything. I promise.”
Jake’s eyes looked at me a moment more before his face relaxed. “Good. Keep it that way.”
Just then, Cole and Stephanie walked in. When she saw the box of drugs, she clapped and jogged over to it, leaving Cole to stand awkwardly by.
Our eyes met. I wanted to run to him, but I couldn’t. He was with Stephanie, and I was stuck with the knock off version of El Mayo.
I bit my lip and turned away.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” I said.
Jake looked at his phone again. The black scratched one.
“Hurry back,” he said, not looking at me. “We have girls to make jealous.”
I nodded and walked back in to the house.
The majority of the people were outside, leaving the hallways mostly deserted, except for the line that stretched down the stairs.
The girls bathroom.
Why did the girls bathroom always have a line?
“I know about a secret bathroom. Of course, if I tell you, I’ll have to kill you.”
I turned to see Cole ambling toward me. Relief touched me from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes.
“You’ve been here before?” I asked, suppressing the urge to run to him.
“Only a million other times. Our families are kind of tight.”
I nodded. “I guess what they say is true. Millionaires stick together.”
“Yeah. I guess. So are we going to stand around and leave a mess for the help to clean up, or do you want to see that bathroom?”
“Lead the way.”
Cole led me in to another hallway. The floors were made of rust colored marble, the doors heavy wood, the side tables gold. I could probably sell one table and pay my rent for a year.
“So, what is it like to party with the rich and famous all the time?” I asked.
“Not as fun as you would think. The people are phony, and the conversations are hollow.”
“And the drugs?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I stay away from that stuff. It rots your brain. You?”
“Same. That girl, Bree, offered me something. Cocaine, I think. She said that it would loosen me up.”
“That it would. You will be as loose as Kenny Jennings.”
I laughed shortly. “That’s not loose. That’s just weird.”
“Yeah.”
A comfortable silence fell over us. We turned down another empty hallway.
“You don’t look like you’re having fun, French,” he said.
“What makes you say that?”
“You lied about having to go to the bathroom, and now you’re in an empty hallway with me. Not exactly a barrel of laughs.”
I stared out of the windows that we passed, my eyes fixed on the water lapping against the beach that surrounded the house.
“Is it my brother?” he asked. “Did he drag you here against your will?”
“I wouldn’t say against my will.”
“What would you say?”
I frowned. What could I say? That I was investigating his brother for running a drug cartel?
“Did he threaten you? Did he hurt you?”
Yes. Not yet.
Still, I stayed silent, drawing a frustrated breath from his lips.
“You’re being weirdly quiet about it,” he said, stuffing his hands in to his dress pants pockets.
I shrugged.
“There’s nothing to say, really.”
“Is that right?”
We stopped walking and leaned on a window ledge. The moonlight poured in to the hallway, giving Cole a pale glow that made my heart stutter. He was so beautiful. So genuine. I turned away from his knowing eyes.
“What do you see in him?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“He’s popular.”
“He’s popular? That’s it? That’s the one quality that drew you to him?”
I bit my inner cheek, still not looking at him.
“Funny. I thought you had more substance than that.”
“Are you trying to bait me, Cole?”
“No. I’m trying to get you to talk to me. I’m trying to understand what this weird relationship is that you have with my brother. And don’t tell me that you love him. You barely like him. You can barely look at each other half the time.”
“You sound like you’ve taken notice.”
“What if I had?”
My heart thudded hard. I finally looked up at him. His hard eyes, his stubborn chin, the red that rose in his cheeks. His gaze was focused on me so intently that I squirmed.
“I can’t do this.”
“Do what?” he demanded.
“I can’t have this conversation with you.” I pushed off from the window and walked back the way we came.
“So not only are you a popularity chaser, you’re a coward, too.”
My feet stopped, my body whipping around.
“What did you call me?”
“I called you a coward. A chicken. Full of fear. Do you need more synonyms?”
“You are the biggest hypocrite that I have ever met!”
“You don’t want him! You can’t stand him. I know it.” His long legs slowly covered the distance between us.
“You don’t know anything.”
“I know that you’re afraid of what would happen if you admitted it.”
“Admitted what?”
“That you don’t want to be with him.”
“And what good would that do for anyone, Cole? How would that help anyone?”
“Tell me what you want, Bella.” His eyes bored in to mine, piercing my soul, my spirit. My feet rooted to the floor, my lungs sucking in the smell of him until my head felt light and my heart felt full. “Tell me who you want.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?” His hands encircled my face, his mouth so close to mine. My eyes closed. My lips puckered.
“Because...” My brain fogged. All reason fled from me. There was something that I should have said, but I couldn’t remember. Cole had taken up residence in every part of my mind. My soul.
“Tell me, and I swear to you that I’ll say yes.”
Electric currents raced through me. He was closer now. I only had to lean forward for our lips to touch. I wanted to. I had never wanted to do anything else in my life. But I couldn’t. To kiss Cole would be disastrous, but, by god, I wanted to watch the world burn with him.
“Tell me.”
My lips parted, forming the words that would ignite both of our worlds.
“I want...”
A sliver of my mind was still in control, but it grew smaller and smaller by the second.
“I want...”
“Bella.” His voice was rough. Tight. It awoke something in me that I didn’t understand. Drew me toward him. Beckoned. Called me like a deadly siren. “Tell me.”
I couldn’t hide it anymore. I could fight it. Couldn’t fight him. I had to say it. I had to tell him, or else I would explode.
“Y-”
“Are we interrupting?”
Our heads whipped to the right, staring down the hallway.
Stephanie and Jake stood at the end of the hallway, watching us.
“Did you forget who you came here with, Cole?” Stephanie asked, her screeching voice echoing off the walls, breaking the bubble of desire that Cole and I had erected around us.
He didn’t step back. Didn’t move his hands from my face.
Jake’s cheeks grew redder by the second. One more shade and he was going to explode.
I stepped back, and smoothed my hair behind my ears.
“We were just talking,” I said. It was a stupid thing to say, but, with Stephanie and Jake’s hate filled eyes on me, I couldn’t think of anything else.
“What they put on your locker is right.” Stephanie’s heeled feet ate up the space between us until we were nose to nose. “You are a whore.”
Like a flash, Cole was between us.
“Leave her alone,” he said.
“And you. You, I can’t even stand to look at. From now on, stay away from me.”
“I told you that we were just friends.”
She reached up and slapped him hard across the face, her eyes narrow slits.
“Now, we’ll be ex-just friends.”
With one final glare at me, she was gone, the echoes of her heels bouncing off the walls.
I looked at Jake.
“I’ll take my girlfriend back now,” he said, reaching out a hand to me.
“She doesn’t want you,” Cole spat.
A slow, devilish smile spread across his lips.
“Guess what, little brother? It doesn’t matter. Bella and I have an agreement. She’s mine for as long as I’ll have her. Isn’t that right, Bella?”
I hesitated. My hands wrapped around my mid-section, my body going cold.
“Isn’t that right, Bella?” Jake repeated.
Cole turned to me. His fingers stroked my chin. I felt the warmth in those fingers. The affection. The gentleness. Things that I craved, but couldn’t have.
“You don’t have to go with him,” he whispered. “You can stay here. With me.”
Those pleading eyes crushed my heart into powder. I looked away, taking hateful steps toward Jake. Each step made me want to sprint back to Cole, but I couldn’t.
It was impossible.
Jake threw an arm around my shoulder and sneered at Cole.
Cole’s face fell. He looked defeated, that sad look returning to his eyes. I had put that sadness there. This was my fault. It was all my fault.
“Tough luck, bro. Maybe next time.”
Jake’s arm dropped to slide around my waist, and I allowed him to guide me back to the party.
It will all be over tomorrow, I thought. I’ll call Detective Harding tomorrow.
Dread filled my gut.
The second I made the call, everything about my life would change.
Ariel, Jasmine, and Cole would probably never speak to me again. I would be alone.
Before I was invisible.
After tomorrow, I wouldn’t be anywhere at all.
I felt like I was walking through a fog. Like a piece of myself was left in that hallway with Cole. I smiled a little. At least that piece of me was happy. The rest of me was an inch above misery, and falling fast.
Jake paraded me around in front of Dana, but I barely registered it. He kissed my cheek, and somehow managed a feel on my butt, but I barely felt it. My life was going to change in the worst way possible. I would be alone, and it was all because of one, little lie.
“Jeez. Lighten up,” Jake said, leading me to a chair next to the pool. “You’re like the mummy out there.”
I didn’t respond, my mind sinking deeper and deeper in to dark thoughts.
He handed me a drink, and I swallowed it down, not thinking about what it was or what was in it. It burned a little, but the burning felt good. It was a small reminder that a little piece of me was still alive.
He handed me another, and I drank that, too, relishing in the sweet taste and my stinging throat.
I was surrounded by the children of movie stars, rock stars, politician, and wealthy businessmen. Teens who had no idea what it was like to struggle. To want. To need. To pull together an entire family’s life savings just so that you could go to a good school.
Jake handed me another glass, and I quickly swallowed it.
My head felt dizzy. My body felt light.
His lips touched my ear. “Ready to make some new friends?”
I nodded, not knowing why. My mind slowed, drifting like a boat on the sea.
The lies came quickly now. Naturally. My father became a rich hedge fund manager. I had no idea what a hedge fund manager was, but, fortunately, no one else did either.
I spoke non-existent truths and spun tales of money that I’d never seen or possessed.
“Isn’t it great to be rich? My family’s fortune stretches back generations.”
“Yes. I own a diamond tiara. Don’t you?”
“We summer in Australia because Mom has a thing for koalas.”
“Do you boat? I own a yacht on every continent.”
Lies. Lies. More lies. Every dream of travel, wealth, and power all came alive within me. I laughed at the right times. I sipped Jake’s magic drinks until my head spun. I flirted with Jake, and let him kiss me on my forehead and hold me tight to his chest.
I was my own fantasy all under the lights and marble and gold of this castle.
It was glorious.
I hated myself for it.
Jake pulled me close, and we danced near the warmth of the pool.
“I have to say, I like you better like this.”
“Like what?” I asked.
I didn’t recognize my own voice. It was deep. Strange.
“Loose. Without the weight of the world on your shoulders. You’re almost tolerable. If I had known that, I would have gotten you drunk earlier.”
“You say such pretty things.”
He laughed out loud, and we continued to slow dance to the house music that pumped around us.
Someone lit a fire on the lawn, and everyone cheered. Marshmallows appeared at the buffet table, and we roasted them on wooden stakes stolen from the chocolate fountain.
After my third marshmallow, I pulled off my shoes and walked to the pool, hiking up my skirt and dipping my toes in.
“That’s not how you go in to a pool,” Jake said, opening his cufflinks. “This is how you go in to a pool.”
He pulled off his shoes and socks, ran forward, and did a cannon ball in to warm water. Everyone cheered as a Jake sized wave rose up, splashing the girls who stood too close to the edge.
Jake hooted, and, suddenly, the rest of the boys were taking off their shoes and socks and jumping in to the pool. It didn’t matter that their suits costed thousands of dollars. It didn’t matter that they would have to drive home soaking wet. What mattered was that they were having fun.
I smiled at Jake.
He smiled back at me, and, for the first time, I wondered if I could live this way. With him. Sure, he wasn’t as smart as Cole, or as kind or gentle. He didn’t make my heart quake and my breath catch. He didn’t make my skin hum and my world fill with music. Jake was hollow. A shell.
Maybe that was what I was, too. A walking, talking, lying shell.
“Don’t you want to join your boyfriend in the pool?” a voice slithered in to my ear before I was airborne, slipping off the edge of the pool and sinking to the bottom.
Water went up my nose. In my mouth. I flailed, trying to relax my body and float back to the top. It didn’t work. Panic set in. I kicked, but the pool was deep and I wasn’t a strong swimmer. I reached for something, anything to hold on to, but there was only black water that stung my eyes and nose. The sound of bubbles. The feel of deathly liquid surrounding me. Invading me.
One horrific thought flashed through my mind over and over again.
I am going to drown.
I opened my mouth to scream, and water rushed in, filling my lungs. Something gripped me around my waist, pulling me upward. I fought against it, but only for a moment. Suddenly, I was out of the water and lying on the side of the pool.
Someone pressed their lips to mine, breathing air in to me. Hands pumped on my chest, pushing air out of me. In to me. Out of me again. I sputtered, coughed, then vomited up the water that was in my lungs.
I’m alive. How am I alive?
I raised my head. Though my vision was blurry, I could see that the party had stopped, and everyone was staring at me.
For a second, I wished that I had drowned.
Cole’s face hung over me, his eyes wide with worry.
“Bella. Bella, are you all right? Can you talk?”
My cheeks heated with embarrassment. I slid to the left, moving away from the vomit that I’d just ejected.
I was freezing, barefoot, and soaking wet.
I was a fraud. A disgrace. An embarrassment.
There was no room for anger in my still shocked mind. No room for fury. Just sadness. Sadness that I thought I could belong with these people. I didn’t belong here.
I picked up my shoes and silently walked to the door, fat, hot tears running down my cheeks.
“Bella,” Cole chased after me. “Bella, wait. Let me take your home.”
“Leave me alone,” I said, my voice cracking, my feet moving faster.
“What do you plan on doing? Walking home?”
“Leave me alone!” I screamed. “I don’t want your help. Ever!”
He stopped. Stunned. “You don’t mean that.”
“You Winsted boys are all the same. You only think about what you can get from people. What you can get from me.”
He took my hand in his.
“Bella, you know that’s not true.”
“It is. It is, and I’m done. I wish I’d never met your family. I wish I had never met you!”
I shoved him off me and took off down the stairs.
With no idea where I was, no ride home, and too much pride, I asked the valet to call me a cab and a water taxi to get me back to the mainland. He did, and informed me that it would be a thirty-minute wait.
Great. I had just made a scene in front of god knew how many people, and followed it with the most epic, dramatic exit. Now, I was standing on the front lawn, waiting for a cab.
I was such a fool.
Stuck in the darkness, alone, wet, freezing, and nearly drowned, I searched for a place to hide until I could escape. Some place where my dramatic exit would stay intact.
There wasn’t much. Bree’s house was the only building on this island of darkness, grass, water, and expensive cars. A few sheds dotted the property. I tried two of them, but, when the locks didn’t give, I abandoned searching the rest. I considered sitting in someone’s car, but I was sure that the valets would have locked up the keys somewhere, and going back to the party was not an option.
I sighed. There was only one choice left.
Shoes still dangling from my hand, I walked down to the beach and let the cold waves lap at my even colder toes.
Tears filled my eyes.
What would Mom think of me now? Lying to people that I don’t know or care about to make them accept me? And for what? So Jake would look good enough to get back with his ex-girlfriend? So Ariel could have her happily ever after? So I could sample what it was like to be rich and popular? So I could save a school that didn’t even bother to learn my name?
If Mom were here, she’d tell me all my reasons were utter crap. She’d tell me I should be true to myself, and that I shouldn’t try to change so others would accept me. She’d tell me it was shameful to lie about my father’s job to get in good with these people—the same people who tried to drown me ten minutes ago. But, most of all, more than anything, she’d tell me I shouldn’t have lied in the first place.
‘Lies are easy to get in to, but they sure are hard getting out of’, she’d say.
My mother had never been more right.
Cold droplets of water sprayed me, wetting my already soaked face, arms, and legs. I could smell the long island sound, a gross mix of fish and dirty water. The waves roared with each assault and retreat on the shore. Moonlight lit the beach, making the sand glow an odd bluish gold.
I wrapped my shivering arms around my middle and closed my eyes.
Just breathe, Bella. Just breathe.
“Did I ever tell you that I hated the beach?”
Cole’s deep voice sent gooseflesh across my cold back.
“I told you to leave me alone,” I said, my voice strong.
He didn’t reply. Just then, my back was warm. My arms and shoulders and chest were warm, and I was surrounded by Cole’s spicy vanilla scent.
“I figured that you could use my jacket.”
I frowned.
“I don’t want your jacket,” I said, though I pulled it closer, the warmth of his body sinking in to mine.
“God, French. You are the most stubborn girl I’ve ever met.”
“I’m sorry that I’m not one of those girls who silently bend to your magnanimous will.”
“Well, I am magnanimous.” There was no mistaking the grin in his voice.
Two hands briskly ran up and down my arms, warming me even further. My eyes closed. I had never felt so warm. So safe.
Something strange tightened my chest. A strong desire to sink in to Cole’s touch. To forget the world and grab a boat and sail away to our own private adventure, letting the wind take us where it pleased.
I shook my head.
Get your head out of the clouds. It can never happen. He said it himself. You are with his brother. He can never be with you.
And my head was right. I couldn’t be with Cole. I shouldn’t be with Cole. But, why did his touch make me feel so centered? Like my feet were steady on the ground and I was certain about who I was. Why did Cole feel so very right, even though he was so very wrong?
“Let me take you home, French. You don’t belong here.”
I whipped around, glaring at him.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You are telling me that you like hanging out with these self-serving, hollow, drug fueled people? These are your friends and comrades?”
“Those people are nice to me.” They kind of weren’t, but I didn’t want to give Cole any ground. Besides, I was upset at how my night had gone to crap, and he was the only one here to take it out on.
“Those people don’t care about you.”
“Oh yeah? Well, if they are so terrible, then why are you here, Cole? Why would you hang out with a bunch of hollow losers?”
“I came here because I knew that you were coming with Jake, and I wanted to make sure that you were okay.”
“Oh. I see. Poor little Bella French needs her tutor and English partner to babysit her because she is entirely too low-class to be trusted around such high-brows.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“What is it then, Cole? You think that I’m not good enough for them?”
“No. I think that you’re better than them, and I didn’t want you to come here and be made to feel like you’re not. You are above them, Bella. Those girls in there can’t hold a candle to you. They are not fit for you, and I am here to make sure that you know that.” He touched my cheek. “Don’t make them think that you are not worthy, when you are worth everything.”
One tear fell. One tear for Cole. The only boy in my life that deserved it.
I heard the grind of wheels behind me.
My cab.
“I don’t need your protection.” I hated my words. “I don’t need your sympathy or your pity.” I hated my lies. “And I most definitely don’t need you to babysit me.” I hated myself, but there was no stopping it. No other way to keep him away. To keep myself from hurting when I knew that I couldn’t have him.
I hurled his jacket at him, hoping that it hit him in the face.
Instead, he caught it and folded it over his arm.
He would.
His blue eyes looked at me, long suffering and pleading. It was the look of a man who was talking to an unreasonable, stubborn girl. Well, I was both of those things. But I was also vulnerable and raw and confused and frustrated. Those last few things had nothing to do with the party and everything to do with the beautiful boy standing in front of me.
“Bella-”
“Just leave me alone, Cole.”
Chilled without his jacket, I ran to the cab that would take me to the water taxi, which, in turn, would take me to another cab. I slid in to the car, asked the middle eastern driver to pump up the heat, and looked down at my lap. I had my purse, but somewhere along the way, I had dropped a shoe, and here I was, in an orange cab, going back to reality.
Maybe I was Cinderella. But this was no fairy tale. There would be no happy ending. Deep down, I knew that my prince was somewhere standing on a beach, though he hated getting sand in his shoe.
I closed my eyes, and silently fell apart.