A man’s brain would fly out of his head to attend midnight Mass. This bothered him because he was not religious. Sometimes the man wanted to use his brain after midnight, but it was attending Mass. So he would just sit there, perhaps with a remote in his hand, wondering what it was that he had wanted to do. But how could he wonder without a brain? Well, he looked like he was wondering, sitting there in front of a turned-off TV with a remote in his hand. Besides, he had read somewhere that intelligence was everywhere, that matter itself was formed of intelligence, so who needs a brain anyway? One night, the night custodian at the church mistook the man’s brain for a sponge, and used it to clean up a mess in one of the pews. The brain made a good sponge. The custodian stored the brain in the closet with his other tools. The man whose brain would fly off to midnight Mass hardly missed his brain. After all, how could he know he missed his brain if he did not have a brain?