What was happening to her life? Elle had gone from eating out with Nathan to being eaten out by Tucker. She had not seen this one coming. And speaking of coming…Oh, God, what the hell was he doing? It felt amazing. The man had a tongue that should be patented, given a name, and a tax ID. He was concentrating on her like it was his job, but then he’d always had a certain intensity to him. Now it was solely and deliciously focused on her.
They’d never gotten this far when they were young lovers because that would have required taking her clothes off, and Elle had been too self-conscious for that. When her girlfriends had talked about oral sex she had thought it sounded a little sketchy so she had discouraged Tucker from any attempts. Now he was going down on her like it was twelve years in the making. Damn.
She gripped his head and enjoyed the attention, fully relaxed. This was the best way to be woken up, bar none. There were things to be concerned about here, but she was going to worry about that later, much later. Because there was no way in hell she was going to stop Tucker before she experienced an orgasm at his touch. When he briefly paused she gave an involuntary cry of disappointment.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m just shifting.” He slid his tongue over her clit.
“Yes.” Her eyes rolled back in her head as he hit her sweet spot. It should have been weird. But it was natural and easy and sexy. She ran her fingers through his soft hair and let her thoughts evaporate. The room was quiet, the sheets rumpled from sleep, Tucker’s body warm over her. She felt languid and aroused, and the orgasm wasn’t the kind that swooped in and exploded unexpectedly. This orgasm rose gently, smoothly, sweetly in a deep, aching crescendo and swept over her like warm honey, while she let out soft cries. Her body didn’t have to fight for it and reach or stretch in agony. It arrived in perfect harmony, her body in tune with his and she arched her back, raising her hips into his touch.
“Damn, Tucker,” she murmured, surprised at how easily she had reached an orgasm. It usually required more effort than that.
He raised his head and rested on his forearms, all bulging biceps and satisfied smirk. He looked very proud of himself and she’d let him own that. He didn’t speak, he just shifted higher and kissed her deeply. It was odd to taste herself on his tongue and she wanted to protest, but his kisses were so delicious and his erection was pressing against her, shattering her self-consciousness. She hadn’t even realized he’d removed his underwear at some point. This part of Tucker she didn’t know at all and they pressed together, hips moving, seeking each other. She wanted him, all of him.
Curious, she broke the kiss so she could glance down and check out what he had to offer. She might have groped it a time or two when she was seventeen, but she hadn’t really had any context or grounds for comparison. Now she was impressed. That was a pretty penis. She glanced back up and saw he had been watching her check him out.
“Good enough?” he asked with a grin.
“Very nice.” She felt a wave of tenderness toward him. He was the most reliable man she’d ever had in her life and she wanted to offer him the same pleasure he’d just given her. Reaching down, she lightly stroked him.
Tucker’s breath caught. “Do you have a condom?” he asked. “Before I let you do that.”
She nodded. “Nightstand.” Not that she had needed any lately. Which might explain why she was mostly naked and touching Tucker’s cock, something she definitely had never planned on doing. It was a first-rate piece of equipment, and she couldn’t wait to see what he could do with it. Feel the full force of Tucker’s strength.
He made appreciative sounds as she squeezed the base of his shaft and stroked up over the head and back down again. She moistened the fingers on her other hand with her tongue and switched so that she could glide more easily over his flesh. His fingers gripped her arms and when she hit the right rhythm they jumped a little. She didn’t usually see Tucker as vulnerable, but now she had the feeling that she had the upper hand suddenly, just by touching him. She had him by the balls and it was quite enjoyable. An interesting shift in power between them.
But when she started to bend over and reach down for him so she could pull him into her mouth, he stopped her. Before she could protest, he shifted them both so that she was splayed over his chest. Okay, she could appreciate this position. Elle smiled as she settled her weight onto him, his erection nudging her thigh. She was never one to protest being on top. “What now, Sheriff?”
He kissed her as he multitasked and fished a condom out of her nightstand. She raised her hips and took the packet from him so she could roll it down onto his erection. She was in the better position to manage it, but mostly she wanted to touch him again, and hear that low groan in the back of his throat. He didn’t give her a lot of time to explore before he shifted her, seating her right onto him in a quick maneuver that shocked her.
Elle sighed as she sank down onto his cock, Tucker filling her completely. “Damn.” She shuddered, taking a deep breath before she sat up, pushing her hair off her face. “That feels amazing.”
“It does.” Tucker held her waist in his big hands. “And you look amazing.”
Her skin was tingling, her body alive with pleasure. Rocking on him, she marveled at this new perspective on her old friend. It felt terrifyingly natural to have him buried deep inside her, her inner thighs still feeling the aftereffects of the orgasm he had given her with very little effort. She didn’t know what any of this meant, just that when she looked down at Tucker she felt happy, content. Aroused.
Tucker gripped her waist more tightly as she found a rhythm, bracing herself on his rock-solid chest. The way he watched her, the way he felt inside her was spine-tingling. His nostrils flared, and despite being yanked out of sleep, she felt very much alive, very awake, and very in tune with him. In less time than she would have thought possible, she was gasping and falling forward to grip the headboard as she came, this time hard and fast.
“That’s it,” he said, and she had never heard his voice like that. It was raw and intense, filled with hard need. “Come for me, baby.”
“I am,” she breathed. Was she ever.
He waited until her cries slowed, then he moved his hips faster, pumping hard inside her, extending her ecstasy. His fingers were embedded in her flesh, holding her still so he could take her. When he exploded, he locked eyes with her. It was startling to stare down at Tucker’s dark brown eyes and see them filled with fully realized adult lust. To see the intimacy that came from knowing each other so well overlaid with a newfound knowledge. She couldn’t have looked away if her life had depended on it. Being this connected to Tucker was sexy and something else entirely. It was fiercely intimate to meet his gaze while he took his pleasure from her. There was something there, in his face, she couldn’t quite place, but she did know that she felt oddly satisfied that for once she was giving him something instead of simply taking. He looked like he’d needed the sex as much as she had.
Elle collapsed onto his chest, out of breath and bone-deep satisfied. His hands shifted to her back and he lightly caressed her skin. “That was unexpected,” she told him.
“I give your kissing two thumbs up,” he murmured.
That made her laugh against his chest. She toyed with his nipple, because she could. “Thank you.”
She wasn’t sure what else to say, or what this meant, if anything. She didn’t think it changed anything, but it was odd to be so thoroughly comfortable while at the same time she had no idea what was going on. This was a shift in their friendship but it also felt like nothing had been permanently altered. Now she knew what Tucker looked like naked, which was hot as hell. He was still inside her, and she wiggled a little. Now she knew that sensation as well, and it was stellar.
“Stop squirming,” he said, grabbing her ass and forcing her to be still.
“Why?” The little devil in her made her raise herself up and down, just a little, on him. She felt him hardening inside her, which made her smile.
“Don’t look at me like that.” He smacked her ass and shifted her off of him.
“Hey, I was sitting there.”
“I have to go to work. So as tempting as it is to do that again, I have to shower and go.”
Well, there wasn’t a whole lot she could say to that. He had a long drive home and she’d wrecked his sleep the night before. “Bummer. Can I make you some coffee or breakfast or anything?”
“Coffee would be great. You don’t care if I use your shower?”
“Of course not.” Elle fished around under the covers for her panties and pulled them back on. She adjusted her shirt back into place. “I’ll go start the coffee.”
Getting out of bed, she hesitated. If this were any other guy she would walk around in her underwear. Yet for some bizarre reason she felt shy doing that in front of Tucker, which was ridiculous. She opened her dresser and pulled out some yoga pants and a shrug for over her T-shirt. Braless was one thing, strolling around in a thong with her friend was totally different even though his dick had just been inside her. It might not make any sense to anyone else, but it did to her. Ditto for whether or not she should kiss him as she left the room. With a guy she was dating, hell, even a one-night hookup, she would bend over and give him a kiss and not think twice about it. But it seemed oddly presumptuous with Tucker.
That was the price she paid for not talking to Tucker before his tongue was buried between her thighs. There were no parameters, and no precedent.
So she started to leave the room as he sat up and was removing the condom. “Hey, come here,” he said.
“Yeah?”
“Kiss me.” He stood up, filling her space, and towering over her. He kissed her, softly, not sexually, before releasing her with a pat on the butt. “Now git.”
It flustered her. There were so many things she wanted to say, to ask, but Elle knew men, and men did not want to talk about “what this was.” Certainly not while they still had a sticky dick and a satisfied smirk. It was a mood killer that usually resulted in understanding less than you had before you entered into a dialogue. So she kept her mouth shut and figured she and Tucker had been friends long enough that they would feel their way through without complications.
He didn’t look like he felt the least bit uncomfortable or unnerved by what had just happened. Tucker was wearing the small smile of a man who had gotten exactly what he had wanted, and she was good with that. “You’re weird,” she told him, because she didn’t know what else to say and it felt appropriate for the situation.
Tucker laughed. “I’m weird? Look who’s talking, queen of wearing capes, or whatever the hell your clothes are actually called.”
That made her stick her tongue out at him as she paused in the doorway. “I’m not talking about clothes.”
Tucker bent over to fish his jeans off the floor, giving her an incredibly stellar view of his ass. Who had a butt like that? Not the artistic types that she usually dated. Those guys were small, lean, skinnier than they were muscular. Tucker was built like an underwear ad. Firm thighs, a tight ass, and abs she wanted to lick. She suddenly wondered if she would ever see him naked again. Better ogle while she had the chance.
“What are you looking at?” he asked, clearly amused.
“I’ve never seen you fully naked. And it’s been years since I’ve even seen you without a shirt. I’m just being dirty and checking you out.”
“If I had more time I’d go all Magic Mike on you and do a dance.”
That made her laugh. “You are full of horseshit. You would never in a million years do that.”
“You don’t know everything there is to know about me, smart-ass. I can dance.”
“No, you can’t.” She knew that for a fact because at the junior prom, slow dancing with him had been like swaying with an oak tree. He’d just stood there looking like he would have preferred to die a thousand deaths than keep dancing. “It’s okay to have limitations.”
He dropped his jeans onto the floor and startled her by coming right up to her and crowding her space. He gathered her into his arms, making her laugh as he pretended to slow dance with her. Tucker was still completely naked and she wasn’t sure where to put her hands, so she settled for wrapping them around his neck.
Basically rocking her back and forth way faster than she was expecting, he said, “Watch it, Hart. I’m going to sweep you off your feet when you least expect it.”
Lord help her if he did. She’d be lost and no one needed that to happen. She relied on him to be rational, not romantic. “Since I don’t think you’ve secretly been taking ballroom dance lessons, I imagine I’m safe. Slow it down a notch. You are rattling my brains, Tucker.”
He stopped moving her. “Sorry. Okay, so maybe I can’t dance. Doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try. Besides, I can shake my wiener and that’s all you need to do to channel a stripper.”
Dear God. She snorted. “Please don’t do that. Now or ever. I don’t need wiener shaking in my life.” She stepped back and twirled her finger in a circle as she pointed at the business end of Tucker. “And for the record, y’all think we want to see your junk and we really don’t. Touch it? Yes. Feel it? Absolutely. But we do not need to see you trying to make it do tricks and we don’t need anything that could be classified as swinging, bouncing, or flopping.”
“You’re a tough sell.”
“Clearly, since I am perpetually single,” she said. “I’m a bitch, remember?”
He sobered, letting go of the silly expression he’d been wearing. “Stop it. You’re not a bitch, you are just honest.” He pinched her cheek. “Now go make some coffee.”
“Ow. What was that for?” She pulled away from his squeezing fingers.
“It’s like a kiss.” He winked at her.
Elle just stared at him, not even sure what to make of that. “Weird. You are just being weird.”
“It’s called afterglow. Don’t you feel better? I do.”
She wondered how long it had been for him if he was this punch-drunk on sex. Then she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Was she just a way to scratch his itch? Convenient? There was no reason it should matter one way or the other, yet it did. Sometimes, when she least expected it, her heart was surprisingly tender. “Yes. I do.” So many things she wanted to ask. So many answers she didn’t want to hear.
Elle went into the kitchen to make the coffee.
Tucker walked into the station still high on the sex with Elle. She had been right—he’d been weird. But it was like a year’s worth of tension had been released in ten minutes of banging his best friend. There was something incredibly bizarre about that but it was the truth. He should have been concerned about how this might change their friendship but for the first time in forever he had been impulsive and it had been worth it.
Whistling, he went past the check-in and didn’t even break stride when he saw that his ex-wife, Kara, was there, with a lunch box. She had an incredibly annoying habit of bringing her boyfriend, his former best friend, Dan, lunch every day. Part of him thought she did it on purpose just to rub her relationship in his face. But then Tucker thought maybe it had nothing to do with him whatsoever. That she gave no thought to him, just Dan and what he might need or want.
Either way, on an average day he had to admit it irritated him because she had never brought him lunch at work. Not once. Plus, she had insisted that their marriage had failed because he worked at the Sheriff’s Department and she felt neglected. Yet that was what Dan did for a living, even if he wasn’t quite as dedicated. Tucker was more than willing to accept responsibility for his failures in their marriage. He just wished she would do the same.
“Hey, Lois,” he said to the receptionist.
“You’re late,” she said. “Is the world coming to an end? You’re never late.”
“I had to run up to Nashville for a friend. It was unexpected.”
Kara made a snorting sound a few feet away from him.
Instinctively he knew that was for him. “Hey, Kara, how are you doing?”
She didn’t answer the question. She asked one of her own. “Were you running to Elle’s rescue again?”
Tucker stared at Kara. Sometimes he saw her in the station with her hip on Dan’s desk and her hair up in a ponytail and it was like he was looking at a total stranger. He felt that way today. It was so hard to reconcile this remote woman with the person he had held in his arms, cuddled in bed, whispered sweet words to. There was a wall between them now, and normally her face was blank when she politely said hello to him. Today there was resentment in her expression and her words had a bite.
“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked mildly, not interested in engaging in a fight with his ex-wife at his workplace. Which he knew would bother her. He had never wanted to hash things out because he had never understood what they were hashing. Kara had been passive-aggressive. He had been too straightforward. It was a marriage doomed to failure.
Kara was wearing tight yoga pants and a workout top and sweatshirt. She set the lunch box down so she could ruthlessly tighten her ponytail. “I mean that when Elle calls, you go running and she’s the only person you know in Nashville, so…”
It didn’t matter if she was right or not, he wasn’t going there with her. “So it’s wrong to help a friend?”
“When that friend is just using you, yes. When you’re married and some woman calls you in the dead of the night and you accept the call, then yes, it’s wrong.”
Lois went bug-eyed behind her desk.
Kara was ruining his after-sex satisfaction. “Is this something you’d like to talk about in private? Because it sounds personal and I wasn’t aware that we had anything personal to discuss any longer.”
“You never did, Jason, that’s the problem.”
She was calling him Jason to be spiteful. No one called him that save his mother, and Elle when she was teasing him. “Jason” was reserved for strangers.
“Okay,” he said, because it was clear they were going to have to do this. Another day he might have walked away but today he felt too good to let Kara pick at him for no reason and get away with it. “We can do this here, then. I’m sure Lois will love to hear all the things I did wrong.”
She’d probably also really love to hear confirmation of Kara’s affair with Dan, because everyone at the station suspected it had started prior to when their marriage ended, but Tucker wasn’t that crass. He wouldn’t share that unless Kara did, and it wasn’t because he was embarrassed or humiliated. He just thought it was rude to sling mud in front of people.
Kara made a sound of irritation and rolled her eyes. “Don’t be childish. I’m just saying that every time Elle needed something, you ran, and you never understood that put a wedge between us. There were three people in our marriage—you, me, and Elle, and that’s a bit crowded.”
Tucker lost his temper. That was just rich. He’d never touched Elle. He’d never told her he would leave Kara for her. He’d never had sex with her while his wife was at work. Those were all things Kara had done with Dan and it pissed him off that she was saying he was the one who had been emotionally unfaithful? Fuck that.
He walked slowly up to her, wanting to speak to her so Lois didn’t hear him. “Really? Because I thought the three people in our marriage were me, you, and Dan.” His voice was low, calm, but tight. “You know, the guy you were screwing.”
Her cheeks flushed red and she had the decency to look away. When her blue eyes met his again, they were flashing. “Just do yourself a favor and admit you’re in love with her and save some other woman the hell I went through.”
That was melodramatic and ridiculous. “I was in love with you, Kara. Elle was then, and is now, nothing more than a friend.” But his thoughts betrayed him, kicking back to that morning and the feeling of Elle on top of him, riding his cock until she came, her hands in her hair. It derailed his annoyance and clearly showed on his face.
Kara scoffed. “Please. You cannot tell me you weren’t sleeping with her. I don’t believe you.”
“I wasn’t then,” he told her, knowing she wouldn’t believe him but needing to say it out loud. “I was faithful to you.”
All she heard was the word “then.” “But you are sleeping with her now?”
He was done with this conversation. Tucker just said, “Enjoy your lunch with Dan.” Then he turned on his heel and left, stomping his way to his office.
They were not a heavily populated county and their staff was small. Mostly they dealt with drug possessions, meth manufacturing, domestic violence. Lately it seemed they were discovering some sex trafficking in the cheap motels along the interstate. Girls brought from out west and set up by drug dealers. One-stop shopping. Get your drugs and a girl. Tucker had no idea what it was like to work in a big city, where these problems ran rampant. But what he did know was that these people were his neighbors, families he’d grown up with, gone to school with. Heroin and meth were rapidly growing problems and he felt like the work he did was important.
It was why he had no intention of leaving the county or his hometown of Starkey, even after the Kara and Dan affair had created an awkward work environment. As he tore into the mound of paper on his desk, rolling through his cases and prioritizing tasks for the afternoon, he thought about Kara’s words. He could see Dan had gone and met her in the lobby and they were talking. He liked to think he’d forgiven Dan for betraying their friendship, but he hadn’t. You just didn’t fuck your friend’s wife. It was a basic and easy rule to follow, as far as Tucker was concerned. The fact that Dan could look him in the eye amazed him, considering his former friend had never so much as apologized. Dan and Kara both acted like he was supposed to readily forgive and forget. That it was all his fault. That his lack of attention had driven Kara into the arms of Dan, the hovering vulture.
Tucker didn’t want to be thinking about any of that. It was the past. Dead and done. But Kara had brought up Elle and that had him turning over his marriage in his mind. He honestly didn’t remember Elle calling him very often when he had been married. She had stepped back out of respect for Kara. He went months without hearing from her, so he wasn’t sure what Kara was complaining about. It wasn’t like he’d left their bed to go be with Elle. Only once did he recall a middle-of-the-night phone call and that had been because Elle hadn’t thought about the time change. She had been on location in Hawaii.
His phone buzzed in his pocket so he pulled it out and tossed it onto his desk. It was a text from Elle.
Did you get home okay? I’m worried about you driving with so little sleep.
His insides warmed. It wasn’t often she inquired after him like that. It was usually him peppering her with safety concerns.
He wasn’t big on texting. He preferred to pick up the phone and have a conversation. Despite Kara, he was still feeling pleased with his morning. Seeing Elle on him, feeling her body, had been better than he could have expected. It was just a brief taste that he could admit he wanted more of, and he figured there was no reason he couldn’t have it. They even had a term for it—friends with benefits. That’s what he wanted with her. They could cross the line when they chose to, on occasions when they saw each other and were both feeling it. When you had been friends as long as they had, it could work. They’d ridden out a lot of life and were still close, so wasn’t this just the next step? The next layer?
Yeah. That was justification, but he was willing to roll with it. He hit call and listened to the phone ring.
She answered almost immediately. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
He leaned back in his chair and smiled to himself. “Nothing. I’m at work, just got in. I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“Oh.” Her voice was husky, low. “I’m glad you got back okay. You hardly slept at all and I’m sorry about that.”
“Hey, it was my decision to drive to your place at midnight. Besides, this morning made up for it.” He was worried if they didn’t talk about having sex now they never would. Then it would become that thing they did once but never discussed out loud.
She laughed softly. “It wasn’t even my best performance.”
“Then I can’t wait to see what else you can do.”
There was a long pause.
Tucker tensed. Shit. Here it was. The regret. He could sense it pushing the pause longer and longer until she finally spoke.
“About that…I don’t know if we should go there again, as enjoyable as it was.”
“Why not, if we already have?” he asked, hating himself already. Damn it, he was trying to talk her into fucking him. He rubbed his forehead and tried not to be disappointed. That was the thing with being impulsive—you never could guarantee the outcome.
“Because at some point one of us will get hurt, and I don’t want that. I definitely don’t want to hurt you, Tucker.”
That pissed him off, because he was already hurt and he hated it. “Why do you assume I’m the one who would get hurt? Maybe it’s you who would want more. You’re the one always looking for a relationship.”
Another pause. She didn’t get angry with him, even though his words were a little more dickish than he had intended. Then she said, “You’re right. Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of. You’re the best relationship I’ve ever had with a man, and I don’t want to lose that. Do you know what I mean?”
He sighed, shifting in his chair. Damn thing was wooden and hard as hell. He longed for a new office chair, but it fit the discomfort he was currently feeling. So much for feeling satisfied. Now he felt anything but. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”
To her, he was safety, not romance. She could rely on him, but that didn’t mean she wanted him to sweep her off her feet. In fact, she wanted the opposite. She reserved that for idiots who came in and whispered bullshit flattery to her, got her naked with promises and pretty words, then wandered away, interest lost. He’d heard it from her a dozen times. The tears, the anger, the recriminations. Yet that was what she always chose, when a man who would stand by her no matter what was right under her nose. He didn’t even know if he wanted a relationship with Elle. Maybe he just wanted to be given the chance she gave every loser who strolled into her life with a cocky grin and his hand out for what he could get from her.
Tucker was disappointed but mostly he was angry. With Elle, with Kara. With himself. For letting himself constantly be taken for granted. What was that? Why was being a good guy a bad thing? Maybe he should be an asshole for a change.
“Thanks, Tucker. I know I can always count on you to understand me. And for the record, I don’t regret it. It was…nice.”
There was a fucking word to write home about. Not.
“Yeah.”
“You doing anything tonight?” she asked.
For a second, he felt a swell of hope. But then she shattered it immediately.
“I have another date, but it’s not with Nathan, so I hope I don’t have to call you and complain.” She gave an uncertain laugh.
Tucker watched Kara feeding Dan a piece of watermelon in Dan’s cubicle and wanted to throw up. This wasn’t their fucking living room. It was his place of employment. Exercise a little goddamn discretion.
He focused on Elle and decided he wouldn’t be that available to her if she was going to keep making the same mistakes, going out with the same men. He couldn’t do it. She was right—it hurt. “Don’t call me unless you’re really in trouble, okay? I don’t feel like hearing about the latest guy who treats you like shit while you think he’s hot and interesting.”
“Tucker…” She sounded stunned.
That did things to him. Now she sounded hurt, and damn it, he felt guilty. “I just need a minute before you start telling me details about you and other guys. Don’t worry, I’m not losing my shit or asking for anything you can’t give me. I just don’t need to hear about the guys right now, okay?”
“Okay.” Her voice was small, quiet. She sounded contrite. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize.” Why was he letting her off the hook? Maybe because he was the one who had crossed that line. She’d asked him to kiss her because of the bad date, not as a come-on. He had taken it to the next level, after saying no so their friendship wouldn’t be ruined. That just made him an idiot.
Elle had changed nothing about herself, their friendship, or her future. It was him who had, and it wasn’t fair to go asshole on her.
“I love you, Tucker, you know that.”
There was a knife in his gut. “I know. I love you too.” He should appreciate it and be grateful for a love that was based on longevity and friendship, not passion.
But he wasn’t.
Tucker saw Dan and Kara kissing. “Have fun tonight. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Tuck—”
He said goodbye, cutting her off, and hung up the phone. He buried himself in his work, because he was good at that.
But when he went out to lunch at the diner and Misty, the waitress who had been shyly eyeing him for months, teased him yet again about them being twins in that they had no social life, he asked her out right on the spot. She was stunned, but pleased, and Tucker realized it was time to move on with his life. Kara was right—Elle may not have been in his life every day but she dominated his thoughts.
“Can we go dancing, Tuck?” Misty asked.
“Sure thing.” Maybe Misty would want to see his Magic Mike moves. Only time would tell.