Peggy permitted the Lord Belton to hand her down from the carriage while he was greeted by the locals and visiting travelers alike. So easily the newcomers had taken to him she noted as the Bannings and their companions clapped him upon the shoulders with good cheer. Riversbend was unlike many of the other towns, an open and friendly place to the newcomers without any of the initial hesitancies or quiet approaches that the travelers had to weather before being welcomed into the fold as more than peddlers of their wares. Perhaps, it had to do with the fact that several had been offered permanent residence and a chance to make new lives for themselves. Or perhaps the locals had been so in need of resupply that they were in immediate celebration of the troupe’s arrival. The peddlers had been approached as equals with value rather than being treated as gypsies or even as mere passersby.
The inn was bustling with activity when they arrived just in time for patrons to begin claiming their tables for their evening meals and tankards of ale. After her massive meal at the Belton estate, Peggy thought she would skip her evening meal. Eating now would seem like gluttony to her, but perhaps that was because she had so often been without.
Peggy made her way to Mrs. Banning’s side and glanced around for the brood of children that often milled about her.
“Oh, they are off somewhere.” Mrs. Banning laughed. “The pastor came through and offered them coin to do some spring cleaning at the vicarage, and they’ve been collecting their pay in service from house to house ever since.”
Peggy could not help but smile. The chance to do odd jobs was always something that fascinated the young boys, as it filled their pockets with coin to spend on trinkets and baubles of their own, often traded or sold in the next village over.
“I meant to send word that you could keep the night to yourself, but I hadn’t a clue where to send the message.”
Peggy apologized for her lack of foresight. She had not thought to inform her friend of her visit to the nearby estate as she had not expected to have been gone long. Nor was she a child that needed minding. All these months, she had always gone about her own business so long as she returned by the expected hour so that Mrs. Banning would not have need to concern herself with Peggy’s safety.
“It’s quite all right.” Mrs. Banning grinned. “It is good to see you interacting with those of your own age and sort.”
My own sort? Peggy thought. It was true that she had hardly interacted with anyone in previous towns, but she had never had reason to do so. Here, she had needed information, connections, and to find Adam, although now that she had found him, she was not sure what to do. Mrs. Banning had never fully accepted Peggy as a member of the working class even though that is exactly what she was. Although her father had been a very wealthy merchant, she was not—and would never be—a member of the nobility despite Mrs. Banning’s clear disbelief any time that she assured her of this fact. Peggy had more education than she ought for a woman on her own. She was well read and knew her numbers and had a keen eye for business and a no-nonsense way of interacting with those of any class. She was able to blend in with many of the gentry, and for that Mrs. Banning was convinced, and not entirely wrong, that there was more to Peggy Williams’ story than met the eye. Still, she did not pry, and for that Peggy was grateful.
The elder woman clucked her tongue at Peggy and waved at her husband who stood spinning his tales across the street. Mrs. Banning bid her farewell and made her way over to her husband with the mischievous gleam of a wife who possessed the promise of a few hours unbothered. No, Peggy realized, she was certainly not needed this night.
She felt a lump grow in her throat as she found herself standing alone under the creaking sign of the inn. For weeks, she had distracted herself with Mrs. Banning’s company, but now she realized that her relationship with the woman was coming to an end, and she had nothing to fill her time. She sorely wished that she could go back to Whitefall Hall and distract herself with Miss Nora’s cheerful company. She did not want to be alone tonight with her thoughts. Not after having seen Adam, well and happy, and realizing that she had severely underestimated the difficulty of her task. It was one thing to take him from a place of servitude and obligation but quite another to expect him to want to leave people who made him happy just because she needed him. Yes, she realized, she needed him, much more than he needed her apparently.
She sighed. She had not wanted Adam to be unhappy, but if she were being honest with herself, it would have made things much easier. She had not truly planned for this possibility. She had not wanted to think that he might not want to leave his present environs, might not want to come with her. Might not need her at all.
Furthermore, she suppressed a groan, what did she have to offer him? A life on the road? Of course, they could find a small village and start anew according to her half-formed plan, but for what? He would have nothing but her and whatever life she could struggle to pull together in their new beginnings. She had thought that would be enough, had convinced herself that their bond would be sufficient, but now she was beginning to doubt. The truth was, they had no bond except the bond of blood, and she did not think it was sufficient to pull him away from a family who loved him. She had money enough for a time but no certainty to offer him. If she failed, they might end up on the streets or worse. Although she had refused to think of that as an option before, it now seemed all the more possible when held in comparison to a warm fire, a roof over his head, and the happy household that he seemed to have found with the Finches. She should have known that the good sisters at Halthaven Abbey would not have sent him to just anyone. They would have vetted the family. They made a good choice for him, perhaps a better choice than she herself was. Emotion clogged her heart and migrated up to her throat as she blinked back tears.
Peggy chided herself for having been so certain that she had known exactly how it would all play out. Now, instead of finding her son and making a life for them, she felt lost and out of her element, more melancholy now than when she was trapped as a laundress in a house not her own.
A gentleman cleared his throat behind her, and Peggy turned to step out of his way. She had been lost in the deep recesses of her own mind and might have been blocking the door.
When she looked, she found Lord Belton standing before her and noted that she had not been, so far as she could tell, in his way.
“I beg your pardon,” she said as she raised an eyebrow in question and she was once again struck with the man’s handsome features. She did her best to bring her thoughts down to earth. He was a viscount’s son and a baron in his own right. He was not a man for her, even if she wanted a man in her life, which she did not.
“Have you found your charges?” Lord Belton asked as he leaned against the fogged window of the crowded inn.
“No.” She sighed and cleared the huskiness from her throat. “I am afraid that I have been relieved of my duty.” She found herself at sixes and sevens.
“A pity.” He grinned a boyish smile himself. “What shall you do with yourself?”
Peggy could not help but laugh. Any other night, she would agree with his suggestion that an evening spared from the chaos would be a relief, but tonight she had craved the distraction, needed the distraction, more than she was willing to admit.
“Well, sir,” she mused, pursing her lips to one side as she thought about her answer in earnest. “I have no idea.” It was, she realized, a brutally honest answer, although he could have no indication how deeply she meant the words.
“How about a stroll?” He gestured with one long arm down the length of the street which still teemed with activity in the early evening hours. She contemplated the offer. There were more than enough people about for it not to be considered untoward for the pair to be seen walking together. Besides, she was hardly a lady who needed chaperoning. There were a few more hours of daylight left, though the sky had already begun to turn a dusky hue. And lastly, had she not just been wishing for a distraction?
What a handsome distraction he was! Too much so. Still, anything was preferable to sitting in her room alone and mulling over every minute detail that she had learned about her son, or every terrifying possibility of how things might go wrong, or perhaps more askew than presently.
Peggy eyed Lord Belton warily, not because she did not trust him, but because he saw too much, and she knew he had questions. Questions to which she had no answers to give. She prayed he did not ask them.
As if reading her mind, he held up one hand in solemn promise. “Just a stroll.” He shrugged. When she still seemed undecided, he added, “We do not even have to talk if you don’t wish to do so. Just a walk.”
“Who says I do not wish to talk?” Peggy bristled at his acumen.
He eyed her up and down, and she felt a blush fill her face, but his gaze lingered not on her ample form but on the stern set of her shoulders and the proud tilt of her chin. Her guard, her father used to call it. The way she stood when she would not give an inch. “Come,” he murmured and held out his hand, still gloved from the carriage ride. “If you had wanted to go to your room, you would have done so already.”
When she didn’t immediately take his hand, he started walking away. At first, she was annoyed. Did he just expect her to just follow him like a lost puppy? What sort of gentleman was he? But what did it matter? She was not a lady. Why then, was she expecting more consideration than her status deserved? The truth was, he probably did not care what her choice was but had decided not to stand here and waste his time convincing her while he had errands that needed attention. She cast one long glance through the window and saw the crowd packing every available inch of the room. The press of humanity intimidated her. For an instant, she thought of the haven of the laundry. Who would have thought she would ever miss the closet of a room that she shared with only a few women as the laundress?
Finally, she found her mettle. He was right. She had not wanted to enter, but she was not so timid as to cower in a corner, even though in such a crowd she would feel more alone than ever. She would be left with nothing but her own thoughts to make her feel trapped and pressured, helpless and hopeless. At least with a walk, she could look at nature. She could revel in the beauty of the happy little town. She could pretend that she still had hopes of finding a life with her son.
“Very well. I pray you, wait,” she called after him as she hurried to catch up.
He paused immediately, and ever the gentleman, offered his arm.
When she drew up to his side, she cast a tentative sideways glance up at him and noted that he was doing the same, though downward. She took a deep breath and laid her hand on his elbow. “Tell me about the town,” she said in a quiet voice. The least she could do was find out more about the place where her son had spent the last four years without her.
“I did not think you wished to talk,” he teased, and a sudden heat blossomed between them.
“I don’t,” she quipped in reply. “I want you to talk.”
The corner of his mouth twitched with amusement, but he quickly schooled his features to a more serious visage. Then, taking the task to heart, he began to tell her more about Riversbend.