No Sleep for the Conflicted

I lie near the hearth tonight

because I offered my bed

to a weary traveler

who needs its comfort

more than I do.

I toss right, roll left,

but I can’t find a position to sleep.

I can’t stop questioning

whether the voice I heard

spoke the truth.

Could I be the girl of the prophecy

who will save France?

Or perhaps I imagined those words

because I was jealous

that Father praised Catherine?

The main fire dies,

so I jump up to restore it.

As I move toward the chimney,

the flames blaze up

in a fiery dragon’s tongue.

Terrified, I search for a bucket of water.

The fire grows stronger. I need help.

But before I can jostle anyone awake,

the firelight envelops me,

wraps me in a blanket

of the softest down.

Blazes swirl around the room,

setting alight pots, chairs,

my father’s cloak.

All the furniture glows like candles.

And then, as though called to order,

the flames disappear.

They leave not a trace of ash or ember.

A single radiant light

shines above me

like a sky of only stars.

As I bask in the beam,

the voice only I can hear

confirms last night’s premonition.

It tells me:

Do not doubt this, Jehanne.

You are the girl from the old prophecy.

You will be called La Pucelle.

You will lead an army.

And you will save France.

It’s clear to me now

who speaks inside my head—

it must be God.