My senses are overwhelmed by the feel of him—his fingers entwined in my hair, his hard body pressed into me, and thank God above, his lips caressing mine.
I’m home.
His arm at my side tugs me impossibly closer, and his lips never leave mine. He tastes me, nibbling my bottom lip before his tongue snakes over it. I gasp at the sensation, and he takes the opportunity to delve inside. Slow, deliberate strokes make my brain short-circuit.
I grab his bicep, holding on for dear life. This kiss is everything; he is everything.
“I’ll never get enough of your lips,” he groans against my mouth, causing a jolt of electricity to shoot through my entire body.
“Yes,” I whisper, my hand clutching his bicep and sliding up his arm, over his shoulder, and into his hair.
“Eww!” Sailor cries.
We fly apart, landing at opposite ends of the couch.
Lee’s eyes lock on my son, and to my complete and utter shock, he laughs.
Sailor looks between us—my face is beet red, I just know it—then he approaches. He climbs up onto the couch, positioning himself in the middle. He laces his fingers in his lap, glances at Lee, then at me. “Want to tell me something?” he queries, arching a little brow.
I lick my lips and run my hands through my hair, pushing it away from my face, then clear my throat. “I suppose I do,” I tell him. “Lee and I, we’re very good friends. And sometimes very good friends, well, they umm—”
Sailor cuts me off with a raised hand. “Mummy, I know all about adults having the sex to make babies. But why are you having the sex with Lee? If you make a baby with him, it will be my cousin and my brother.”
Horror. That is what I’m feeling in this very moment—pure unadulterated horror. “What? What do you mean you know all about sex?” I demand, only able to deal with one part of what he said at a time.
He rolls his eyes. “I read about it.”
“What the hell kind of books have you been reading, Sailor? You haven’t been taking books from Charlotte, have you?” God, I hope not. What the shit am I going to do if he’s been reading her kinky books? My poor innocent baby’s eyes have been tainted.
“No, her books have nakey men on the front.” He giggles, pressing a hand to his forehead.
I close my eyes, inhale a deep breath through my nose, hold it for a few seconds, then release. Sailor may be genius-level smart, but he’s still a little boy who finds nudity hilarious.
When I open my eyes again, Sailor and Lee are exchanging looks. I rest my hand on Sailor’s leg, getting his attention. “First of all, honey, you shouldn’t be going through Charlotte’s books; that’s rude. Second, Lee and I were absolutely not having sex.”
Sailor scrunches his little brows in a cute-as-hell frown. “It looked like you were.”
“That was just a kiss, sweet pea.”
“But kisses like that turn into the sex,” he explains.
Oh, Lordy. I am not ready for this conversation—he’s four!
I glance at Lee helplessly. He’s trying and failing to hold his amusement at bay. His eyes are shining with mirth, and he seems to fight a smile. I narrow my eyes at him, and he clears his throat then scrubs a hand over his face. “You’re right, buddy,” Lee says.
What the shit? I bug my eyes out at him, but he ignores me.
“I know,” Sailor replies, completely oblivious to my distress.
“But that’s not what we were going to do. I just really, really wanted to kiss your mum. It’s been a real long time since I’ve kissed her, and I missed it. I swear, bud, me and your mum? We’re not going to have the sex on the couch.” He looks so pleased with himself for delivering this explanation to my way-too-smart-for-his-own-good son.
Sailor scratches his temple, appearing to be mulling over Lee’s words. He purses his lips then narrows his eyes. “But you were going to have the sex. Just not on the couch.”
“No!” I blurt. “No sex. None. Not even a little bit. Like you said, sex makes babies, and Mummy has enough babies. No more babies happening here, ever. Mummy is closed for business, Sailor. You understand?”
“So, I’m not going to have a cousin-brother?” he asks.
“No, sweet pea. No cousin-brothers for you,” I assure him.
That seems to be enough for my boy. He nods, climbs up on his knees, and shuffles over to me before dropping a kiss on my cheek. Then, he trundles over to Lee and looks him dead in the eye. “I like kissing Mummy too. But not in the sexing way—just the I love my mummy way.” Then, he wraps his arms around Lee’s neck and gives him a quick squeeze before he gets off the couch and returns to his bedroom.
My shoulders slump. What a night.
Lee scoots back up to my end of the couch and wraps me in his arms again. “I’m still calling tonight a success,” he murmurs in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.
I place a hand on his chest, pushing him away just enough to be able to look him in the face. He’s smiling, and I slowly mirror it. “Seriously? Tonight was”—I shake my head—“not great.”
Again, he drops his forehead to mine, stares into my eyes, and lets me see everything he’s feeling. “It was perfect.”
I would like to stay longer and just hold Tilly, but she looks exhausted, so I do the gentlemanly thing. I bow out for the night. “I’m going to go so you can hit the hay. But I want to do this again—soon.”
“Okay,” she agrees.
She walks me to the door where I stop her. “You don’t need to see me out, babe. I’m a big boy. Just like Sailor.” I wink and she chuckles. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” I press a light kiss to her temple and stroll down the paved pathway to my car, admiring the garden beds that line the path as I go.
I turn back when I reach the car; she’s standing in the doorway, watching me. I lift a hand, wave, then press two fingers to my lips and throw her the kiss. She smiles then closes the door.
Driving back to my mother’s house, I make the decision I’ve been mulling over since I saw Till in the grocery store last week. I’m moving back. It’s our time. I feel it in my bones—and not just the one in my pants.
I want forever with her. And I can’t expect her to believe that until my place here is permanent.
As soon as I’m back in my childhood bedroom, I pull out my laptop and draft a letter, laying it out to my current employer. I’m an architect, and a damn good one. I can do my job from anywhere. The firm I contract to can employ me from afar, or I’ll go out on my own. Either way is fine with me.
I email the letter then close down my laptop with a sense of rightness I haven’t felt since Tilly and I were planning our future together six years ago.
She said she doesn’t regret being with Curt, and I get that. She wouldn’t have those amazing kids if not for him, even if he is an asshat. And if I’m being completely honest with myself, the time apart was probably good for us.
But now it’s time to pick back up where we left off and build our future together.