There’s something I want to show you,” Tammy said, giddy with excitement.
She startled me. I’d just gotten back to our apartment from the Piggly Wiggly and was stashing a box of Little Debbie Swiss rolls behind a row of tomato soups in the pantry. I hid my treats because Tammy had a terrible sweet tooth and would gobble them up in a single day.
Tammy didn’t even notice the Little Debbies, she was so worked up. She seized my hand and said, “Come on. I just got it today, and it’s just so beautiful.”
I followed her into her room, which looked like a shrine to Dr. Dick. Photos of the two of them covered her dresser and were thumbtacked to a bulletin board. In all of them, Tammy had her hand pressed to Dr. Day’s chest, as if claiming him as spoils.
There was a small table near her bed where she kept all her Dr. Day mementoes—movie ticket stubs, matchbooks from restaurants, dried flowers, and a stack of greeting cards he’d given her over the years. I also knew that her two top drawers were stuffed with teddies, panties, and nighties that she donned exclusively for his benefit. Around the house she wore an oversized “Archie Bunker for President” T-shirt, holey granny-panties, and a ratty butt-sprung bathrobe.
Despite sleeping with a gynecologist, she wasn’t having any orgasms either. I’d asked her about it a few months after I first started having sex with Sonny and she’d said, “I’m not sure. Sometimes I get a pleasant tingling during sex. That’s probably an orgasm, don’t you think?”
“No,” I’d said. “I think it’s like sneezing—you’ll know it when you’re having it.”
“Look!” Tammy said, holding a long white dress encased in a see-through plastic garment bag. “I have to take it out for you to really appreciate it.”
I blinked in confusion. “Is that a fuckin’ wedding gown?”
“Not just any wedding gown,” she said, unzipping the bag and pulling free the dress. “It’s my wedding gown, and it’s the most beautiful one they had at Marla’s House of Brides. Look at the detailing. There must be a million seed pearls.”
“Oh, my God,” I said, sinking onto her twin bed and knocking to the floor a three-foot pink teddy bear, a Valentine’s gift from Deke. “He did it. Dr. Dick actually left his wife. I’ve been wrong all along.”
“I told you not to call him that!” Tammy said, spreading out the train. “Of course, it’s not exactly official, but I know—”
“Wait a fuckin’ minute. Whaddya mean it’s not official? Has he left her or not?”
“Jill! Deke’s still in Boston at that medical conference,” she said, with a thin laugh. Dimples dented her cheeks. “I told you that when he comes back, I’m positive he’s going to give me an engagement ring.”
“So why in the world do you have a wedding dress?”
“Well, it’s inevitable that Deke and I are going to get married, so I’m just thinking ahead. Marla’s was having a sale, so I bought it.”
“Tammy—”
“I’ve decided that when he comes home, I’m going to wear it.” She shook the gown at me. “It looks so pretty on. I’m convinced that when he sees me in this dress, he’ll understand how badly I want to be his wife.”
“Oh, God, Tammy,” I said softly. “I think he already knows that.”
“He wants to marry me,” she said, stroking the dress with her hand. “I know he does. I can hear it in his voice.”
“Let’s put the dress up,” I said gently. “You don’t want to spoil it.”
“I know you have doubts, but you just don’t know him like I do.” Her eyes were bright and hard, like quartz crystals.
“I bought some Little Debbies, and Laugh-In’s on tonight,” I said. Tammy had clearly crossed some line that made it impossible for me to argue with her. “You wanna watch it with me?”
“No, I think I’ll tidy up in here,” she said, tugging on the sleeve of her blouse. “Besides, I don’t want to get involved in a show because Deke is gonna call tonight.”
I left her alone and ended up reading the latest issue of Good Housekeeping (Sonny had given me a gift subscription) instead of watching television. I couldn’t believe Tammy was doing this. Through her door I could hear occasional snatches of “Lara’s Theme” coming from the music box that Deke had given her. The evening passed quietly with not a single phone call. When I glanced at the clock and saw it was eleven, I decided I’d check on her.
“Tammy,” I said, lightly knocking on the door, “I’m going to bed.”
I thought she’d fallen asleep because she didn’t answer, but then she said, “Good night. Sleep well.”
“Tammy, are you all right?”
“I’m great,” she said, but her voice sounded thick, as if she’d been crying. “I forgot that Deke had a dinner function tonight. I’m sure he’ll call me tomorrow at work.”
“’Night, Tammy.”