Roadrunner, buddy—

Good news! Mayor Abbott lost the election!

Sometimes the good guys win. Maybe the tide is turning. Oh! And I finally got an appointment with the VA for an evaluation—for three weeks from now.

Luckily, in the meantime, I’ve got the group at college. Not sure how I’d be doing without that, if you want to know the truth.

What’s that you’re saying? “DUDE, you’re burying the lede! What’s up with Caitlin?”

Well, funnily enough, I talked about her with the group on Monday. I told them that we’ve been hanging out a lot at school and texting all the time when we’re not at school, and I want to ask her out. I think she might want that, too, but I don’t know if it’s fair to get involved with her when my life is up in the air with the charges against me.

And most of the guys were like, “Yeah, that’s a big thing to have hanging over you.”

Then Mrs. Cook asked, “It seems like you have a real connection. Have you discussed your concerns with Caitlin?”

It was one of those look-at-the-floor-because-you-don’t-want-to-admit-that-you-haven’t-done-that-and-now-that-you-mention-it-it-seems-so-obvious moments.

When it was clear to everyone that I hadn’t done it, we got onto this whole discussion about why we don’t talk about the things that are most important.

“Don’t you trust Caitlin to make the right choice for herself?” Mrs. C asked. “By not even discussing it, aren’t you cheating both of you of the chance to see where this goes?”

That hit me straight in the gut. Because I imagined the riot act Mom would read me for thinking I knew better than Caitlin about what was best for her. I mean, forget Mom—Stella would probably give me the biggest dressing down of all. Nothing like a sister when you need someone to hold up a mirror to your flaws, right?

The bottom line is that I was scared. We survived combat by cutting off feelings. How else do you function day to day?

Group forces us to face those feelings. Because we’ve all been there, I’m not as afraid of being judged. The guys are honest, and they call me on my crap, but I don’t feel as criticized as I do when my family does it, ’cause I know the next time it could be one of them in the hot seat.

Still, it’s one thing to start “letting it all hang out” with the group. It’s another to do it with a girl I really like.

The next time I saw Caitlin in the cafeteria, I asked her if we could talk. She smiled (that smile!) and said, “Haven’t we been doing that?” But then she said, “Uh … sure, okay. Let’s talk.” She looked a little weirded out, like she didn’t know where I was going with this, but she relaxed when I told her that I liked her and laid out, as best I could, all the bumps in my road.

I sat back and waited for her to tell me that it was going to be too complicated. That she had enough going on.

But instead she said, “You think you’re the only one with potholes and bumps in the road? Isn’t it easier to travel if we help each other spot them?”

Made sense to me.

It’s still a long road ahead. I’ve got my court date next week, and I could end up in jail for all I know, putting an abrupt end to this—whatever “this” is. Being put behind bars might be a big enough pothole to break the axle.

Well, at least I can daydream about her smile when I’m stuck in my jail cell.

ThunderGeek out.