Fifteen

Haisley

When I walked out of the bedroom the next morning, I had a sweatshirt on over my top. I could tell by the chill in my room when I woke up that it was one of those rare cold mornings in Florida. I had given Saxon back his leather coat last night, and this was the best thing I had to keep me warm.

The sun wasn’t up yet, but this time of year, it was closer to seven before sunrise. The living room was dark with only the light from the kitchen giving a warm glow. Saxon was standing at the bar, pouring a cup of coffee, and there was a plate with a cup of milk on the counter. He lifted his head, and his eyes met mine as I reached him.

“Good morning,” I said, hoping that we would continue this getting along thing.

“Morning. I made you something to eat before we go,” he said, nodding at the plate.

I looked down to see scrambled eggs, toast, and berries again. I knew he was only doing this for the baby’s sake, but it still made me feel warm inside. “Thank you,” I replied.

“I got a text this morning. I was able to get you an appointment with the OB-GYN Maddy uses. She’s going to see you at four today. I’ll pick you up from the studio, and we can go from there.”

He had gotten me a doctor’s appointment. We hadn’t even talked about it since I had gotten here. Other than he wanted to get me proper medical care.

“Does, uh, she take Medicaid?” I asked.

He shook his head. “No. But you’re covered.”

“How?”

“I handled it, Haisley. Don’t worry about it. Dr. James is the best OB-GYN in the state. It’s why Maddy used her.”

The best OB-GYN lived in Ocala? I found that hard to believe.

“What hospital?” I asked him.

“She has private offices in Gainesville and Orlando. She works between the two.”

Private offices? I wasn’t sure I knew what that was exactly, but I focused on eating my food and stopped asking questions. This was a huge deal. I would have a doctor who would answer my questions, and I could call if I had any issues. No waiting in a packed room for hours to get five minutes with her.

“The dark circles under your eyes are gone,” Saxon said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I had noticed that in the mirror this morning. “Yeah, having proper food to eat and a luxurious bed to sleep in will do that for you,” I replied, smiling at him.

“That bed isn’t luxurious,” he said.

I laughed and finished chewing my food, then said, “Maybe not to you, rich boy, but to me, that is five-star quality.”

I popped the last berry into my mouth, drank the rest of my milk, and took the half-eaten piece of toast with me before standing up. “We’d better go. I don’t want to be late.”

“It’s only five. You have plenty time.”

I shook my head. “I have to warm up and do stretches.”

He picked up his cup and nodded toward the door. “Okay, let’s go.”

We headed to the door, and when I opened it, the cold wind reminded me why I was wearing a sweatshirt.

“Shit. Wait,” Saxon replied and walked back to his bedroom.

I closed the door to keep the cold out. When he exited his room, he was holding a jean jacket with fleece lining.

“Here,” he said to me, opening it up. “Put this on.”

I didn’t argue. I liked wearing his coats and smelling him. It was as close as I was going to get to burying my face in his neck and inhaling.

“Thanks. You have a lot of coats.”

“Yeah. Just keep this one.”

I would rather he keep them and let me use them as I needed them. That way, they’d always smell like him. But I couldn’t say that, so I just said, “Thanks.”

We didn’t talk much on the way to the yoga studio, and when we got there, he reminded me he’d pick me up at four. I was inside, hanging up his coat, when he finally pulled away, and I realized he had been making sure I got inside safely. When Saxon was thoughtful, it was hard not to let myself want more. Miss him. Wish I could have what we’d started over two months ago.

I was finishing up my last class of the day and had ten minutes before Saxon arrived to get me. There had been three one-hour breaks where I was free, and I’d gone to the acai bowl place across the street, taken a nap in the mediation room, and read up on my first trimester during those times. The prenatal yoga classes were popular, and now that I was back, they were offering two a day.

“It’s good to see you back,” a deep voice said.

I turned to see Trace, another instructor. He was tall with a lean, muscular build, and his classes were packed with women. Especially the cougars. They loved him. He kept his blond dreadlocks in a bun most of the time and had pale blue eyes. He was also cocky as hell.

“Thanks. It’s good to be back,” I replied as I rolled up my mat—or the one I used here. I didn’t actually have my own mat.

“I might have to take a few prenatal classes if those are the only ones you’re doing,” he said.

I stood up and frowned at him. Was he flirting with me? Sure, he’d flirted with me in the past, but that was before I was pregnant. I had always turned him down when he asked me out too. The guy was a man -whore. He broke men’s and women’s hearts regularly.

“I’m doing prenatal because I’m pregnant,” I told him.

He tilted his head and grinned at me. “I figured. Your tits have always been nice, but, damn, Haisley, they’ve gotten huge.”

I felt my face heat up. I needed bigger tops. He was right. My boobs had gotten much bigger. I’d realized it today when I put on my yoga outfit. I only owned two, and both tops were too small.

“It’s a good thing. Don’t look so upset,” he said, walking closer to me. “You’ve even got more curves going on here,” he told me, placing a hand on my hip. “It’s rounder.” He lowered his voice.

I backed up away from his touch. “Uh, I have to go.”

“You’re gonna want to keep your fucking hands off her.” Saxon’s voice startled me.

My gaze swung to the doorway, and he was standing inside, glaring at Trace.

Oh crap. He couldn’t pull his gun out in here. I’d get fired.

I rushed around Trace and over to Saxon. His eyes hadn’t left Trace’s.

“This must be the baby daddy,” Trace replied, sounding amused.

He had no idea what he was doing. I wanted to yell at him to shut up, but I kept my eyes on Saxon, worried about that damn gun.

“It’s fine. He’s a flirt. He means nothing by it,” I told him, grabbing his arm. “Let’s go.”

Saxon dropped his gaze to me and then to my boobs. He inhaled sharply before his eyes shot back up to mine. “This fucking bra thing is too damn small,” he said through clenched teeth.

“I am aware of that. Pregnancy has upped my bra size.”

His eyes swung back over my shoulder to Trace, who I wished would leave. “Don’t touch her again. That’s the only warning you’ll get.”

Trace’s cocky laugh made me wince. He was an idiot. “I don’t have to force any female. They come after me.”

Saxon’s hand clamped down on my hip and held it firmly before his eyes came back to mine. “Get your things.”

I shook my head. “I’m not leaving you alone in here with him,” I whispered.

He narrowed his eyes at me. “If you’re protecting him, don’t.” The warning was clear.

“I’m not. I want to keep my job,” I whispered. “And if you pull out that gun, I will get fired.”

His hand tightened his grip on me. “Let’s go.”

Relieved, I nodded, and he moved his hand to my back and held it there as he walked with me out of the room. His entire body was rigid, and I could feel the anger rolling off him in waves as I got my coat and bag. We were almost to the door when Sammy walked out of the room across from us, and her eyes immediately widened when she saw Saxon.

“Saxon Houston?” she asked as a big smile spread across her face.

I wanted to slap her right then. I’d forgotten that Sammy had gone to the same high school as Saxon. She came from money. Ran in his circles.

“Sam,” he replied.

“What are you doing here?” She paused and realized that I was the one beside him. “With Haisley?” Her voice trailed off. It registered on her that quickly, and I saw the shock in her eyes. “No way. Oh shit. You’re who got her pregnant?” she asked, looking back at Saxon.

“Yeah, and we have an appointment. We need to get going. Good to see you, Sam,” he replied and opened the door for me.

“You too!” she called out, but he didn’t look back.

He couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Was he embarrassed of me? The idea that he didn’t want people other than the family to know I was pregnant with his baby made my stomach sink. When we reached his truck, he opened the door and helped me up more forcefully than necessary before heading to the driver’s side.

I buckled and willed myself not to get emotional about this. I was so done with crying about crap. Especially since it always revolved around him. He slammed his door and gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. The veins on his neck stood out, and his nostrils flared.

“Saxon?” I said his name softly, hoping he didn’t turn on me.

“You should have worn a shirt over that top,” he said, turning his head toward me.

“We are supposed to wear this. It’s part of the uniform,” I explained.

“Have you fucked him?” His question sounded like a snarl.

“Who? Trace?” I asked, horrified.

“Whoever the fuck that son of a bitch was in there, touching you.”

“God, no. He’s a slut.”

Saxon seemed to ease somewhat, but not completely. He wasn’t jealous. Right? This was just about the baby. Did he think I had sex a lot? Was that it? He thought he was having a kid with someone who had slept around?

I fisted my hands in my lap and decided this was one of those times I had to be strong. I could do this without getting sick. He needed to know.

“I’ve only ever slept with you.”

“Haisley, don’t. I know what a virgin is.”

Closing my eyes tightly, I inhaled. I didn’t want to talk about this. “A hymen can be broken other ways.”

There was a moment of silence before he responded. “Sure. Yeah. I know it can. I don’t want to upset you or fight. I’m trying to get along with you,” Saxon replied, but I knew he didn’t believe me. He was just saying it to end the conversation.

I hated that he thought I was like my mom.

“When I was ten, my stepfather … he did things to me and my sister. He stuck things in us. I think … I think he probably did more to Jamaica. She was quieter. I fought back.” The sick bile in my throat as I said the words aloud for the first time to anyone burned. I wasn’t sure I could say more. I’d shocked myself by blurting it out.

The warmth of his hand covered mine, and I let out a small sob.

“You don’t have to say any more. I’m sorry. That’s hard to hear. I can’t imagine how hard it is to tell.”

The rawness in his voice undid me, and I let out another sob.

“Fuck,” he whispered, and his hand left me.

I felt the center between us move away and opened my eyes to see it gone.

“Come here.” Saxon pulled me over to him and held me.

I clung to him, desperate for the only affection I had known. Saxon was the first person who had shown me true affection. I hungered for it. When he offered it now, I wanted to hold on as long as I could. I never knew when I would get it again. Or if this would be the last time.

His hand ran down over my hair as he pressed a kiss to my temple. “You give me a name, and I’ll kill him,” he said against my head.

I let out a strangled laugh, then shook my head. “He’s my three youngest siblings’ dad. They’re all boys, and he’s a good dad to them.”

Saxon tensed. “Is he still in that trailer?”

“No. He’s been gone for years.”

I could stay like this for hours, but I knew I had a doctor’s appointment. One I didn’t want to make us late for.

I pulled back and wiped at my face. “Sorry. I’ve never said that out loud to anyone before,” I told him.

He cupped my face and looked at me. “If you need to talk about it, I’ll listen.” He paused, and a pained look crossed his face. “I might end up killing him. But I’ll listen.”

I rubbed my cheeks with my palms and shook my head. “I’m fine. I swear. I just had to … I didn’t want you to think I was like that. I mean, I had sex with you after seven days. That didn’t make me look good.” I forced a smile and moved off him and back over to my seat.

He let out a deep sigh, then started the truck. We rode in silence to the doctor’s office.

When he parked the truck, he looked at me. “You good?” he asked.

I nodded.

“I’ll help you down,” he said before climbing out of the truck and coming over to open my door.

He reached up and took my waist the way he used to do, then set me down. He didn’t hold me against him like he used to, but then I hadn’t expected that. Instead, he let me go, stepped back, and closed the door, then clicked the fob in his hand to lock the car.

We made our way to the white coastal building that reminded me of an expensive beach home. Inside, everything was white and sea blue. The lady behind the desk looked to be in her late forties, but she still gave Saxon a long, appreciative once-over. It was annoying, but I couldn’t blame her. He was in jeans and a fitted black sweater. The man was sexy.

“Haisley Slate?” the lady asked as we approached.

“Yes,” I replied.

She smiled and handed me a clipboard with a pen. “We have most of your personal information, but we need your medical history filled out.”

I took it and went to sit in one of the comfortable, plush chairs in the small waiting room.

Saxon took the seat across from me, and I focused on answering the questions to the best of my knowledge. When I was done, I started to stand up, but Saxon reached out and took it, then walked it back to the lady.

“You both can come on back,” she told him.

I stood up, and we went through the door. A younger woman met us. She was petite with short, curly brown hair and wearing scrubs.

“Let’s go ahead and weigh you,” she said. “Then, we’ll get a urine sample before heading back to the room.”

I went to the scale and stepped on. I watched as it settled on one hundred eighteen pounds. That wasn’t bad. I had worried I was under one fifteen. I was quickly gaining back the weight I’d lost with the food Saxon provided. The milk was probably helping too.

She then checked my height. “Five-five and a half,” she announced then pointed to the restroom door. “When you’re done, go right down this hallway to room two,” she told me, then looked at Saxon. “You can go on in and wait for her there.”

He glanced at me before following the girl to the room. I handled the urine sample business, then hurried to room two. Saxon was standing with his arms crossed over his chest, looking at the stages of a baby’s growth in the womb that hung on the wall.

When he turned to look at me, he nodded his head to one of the pictures. “Our kid currently looks like an alien,” he said.

I went over to look at the pictures, and it surprised me how much it looked like a baby already. I had expected it to still look like a pea.

“It has toes,” I pointed out.

The door opened then, and a short woman with wiry red hair and glasses entered. She smiled at me. “Hello, Haisley. I’m Dr. James, but you can call me Bess. I’m not big on formalities. Now, you are ten weeks today, according to your last period. Is that correct?” she asked, looking at me from the chart in her hands.

“Yes,” I replied.

“We are technically supposed to hear the baby’s heartbeat with a Doppler. You just hit ten weeks so it could be difficult to find but we could try it, or we could take you to the room across the hall and listen to it via a vaginal ultrasound.”

A vaginal ultrasound sounded terrifying. I had no idea what that was, but it didn’t sound good.

I looked at Saxon nervously. “Uh, maybe we could try the Doppler first?” I asked.

She smiled and nodded. “Of course. Hop up, and we will give it a try.”

I climbed onto the table, and she had me lie back, then pulled up my shirt to expose my still-flat stomach. I realized I was nervous. What if she couldn’t find a heartbeat? I turned to look up at Saxon as she put something warm on my stomach. His eyes met mine, and I wondered if he was nervous, or maybe he would be relieved if there was no heartbeat. I didn’t want to think about that.

“This might take a few minutes,” the doctor said as she moved the Doppler around my stomach. The warm stuff she’d put on me before made it slide around easily. “Oh!” she said, smiling so brightly that I felt my heart slam into my chest.

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.

“That’s it.”

The fast thudding suddenly became the most important thing in my life. My eyes filled with tears and blurred my vision as the sound filled the room. Saxon’s hand covered mine, and I turned my palm up to thread my fingers through his. He squeezed, and I looked up at him. There was an awed look on his face that made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. It was overwhelming.

“It’s a nice, strong one hundred sixty-two. That’s right where it needs to be,” she said, then reached over and handed me a tissue. “It’s emotional, hearing that sound. Especially the first time. I’ll step out, and you can undress from the waist down. Then, get back up here and cover up with this blanket.” She handed me a soft, folded cloth.

“Okay. Thank you,” I replied, taking it.

She went to the door, and I stood up.

“I’ll, uh, step out,” Saxon said before walking to the door.

If we were a regular expectant couple, he would sit in here while I changed, but we weren’t. I wouldn’t let it get me down. Not after hearing the heartbeat. My baby was okay. It had a strong heartbeat. I smiled the rest of the appointment. My chest was so full of joy that it ached.