Twenty-Four

Saxon

I stood on the front porch as the headlights came into view. I’d wanted Haisley to be asleep before I left her in the bed. She had cried until she fell asleep, and I fucking hated it. The headlights of the G-Wagon turned off, and both the driver’s door and the passenger door opened. I hadn’t known Trev was bringing anyone.

Straightening from where I’d been leaning on the railing, I walked down the steps just as the Hughes brothers walked into the light from my porch. I hadn’t asked him to bring Blaise. I’d needed advice and to blow off some steam. If I’d wanted to bring the family into it, I’d have called Levi. He would be the one who went to Blaise. Not me.

“Blaise,” I said in greeting. Then looked at Trev.

“Don’t look at me like that. He called me. He’d already heard,” Trev said.

“I was going to fill Levi in, just not tonight,” I explained to Blaise.

“He’s my brother. Fuck the chain-of-command shit,” Trev drawled.

Blaise studied me for a moment while he lit up a cigarette. “You put a gun to a Red King’s head,” he said, taking a pull from the cigarette. “That shit gets back to me fast.”

“You what?!” Trev exclaimed, grinning, then slapped me on the chest. “Fucking hell, man! Why can’t you do this shit when I’m around so I can see it?”

“Trev,” Blaise said with an annoyed look on his face.

Trev shrugged. “Oh, come on. You can’t tell me you didn’t get one ounce of joy from hearing Sax had pulled his Glock on someone.”

Blaise ignored him and kept his eyes locked on me. “Red Kings are fucking bottom-feeders. They’re mostly young thugs.” He took another pull from the cigarette.

“He—” I started but was cut off.

“I know what he said. Taser, their leader, got in contact with me. Hike is currently being dealt with for pissing off one of my men. They’re not interested in making us an enemy. Taser gets his shit from someone under my control. He knows it can be shut off with one call from me.”

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed in relief. Fuck, my chest felt somewhat lighter.

“You love her,” he said simply.

“Yeah,” I admitted without pause. I did.

“Then, this changes things,” he replied, taking another drag from the cigarette in his hand.

“You want me to call off the police protection on their trailer?” Trev asked him.

Blaise shook his head. “No. I’ve already spoken to Horn, their leader. They’re looking for a reason to lock up Taser. Red Kings have been sloppy. If they are funneling coke into the schools, I’ll shut them down myself.”

“If Silver is getting her fix from them, then their hands are in something other than coke. She wasn’t messed up on an upper,” I told him.

Blaise nodded. “Probably oxy.” He let out some smoke. “If you’re keeping her and your kid, then we have to change some things. Starting with AJ. I’ll need to go visit him, and you’ll be going with me. Let’s get through the holidays and the wedding shit. Then, we will head out.”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “How’s this going to affect Haisley?” She was my only concern.

Levi could get the fuck over it. I knew he was going to be pissed that we’d made any contact with AJ.

“I don’t know yet. That depends on AJ,” Blaise replied. “But she’ll have to choose a side. It’ll come down to her brother or us.”

I wanted to believe she’d choose me—or us. But she’d dropped me before. She could shut me out again. Take our baby with her. I nodded, unable to say anything else.

“Expect to leave a few days after Christmas,” he told me. “Let’s go,” he said, turning to Trev and heading back to the vehicle.

“You good?” Trev asked me. He could read me too well.

“Yeah.”

“Liar.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know who she’ll choose. Not sure I can survive her leaving me this time.”

“If you’re laying on the Saxon charm, like I told you to, then she’s sunk, or she will be before it’s time for that.”

I hoped he was right.

“You have more faith in that than I do.”

Trev smirked. “I’ve seen it in action too much not to know its power.”

I rolled my eyes, and Trev squeezed my shoulder.

“Sorry I brought him. I had no choice. If you want to talk tomorrow without the boss up in our business, let me know.”

I understood. Truthfully, talking to Blaise had eased some of my concerns. I knew Haisley’s family was safe.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night at the party.”

I didn’t watch them leave. I went back inside to Haisley. I didn’t want her waking up to find me not there.

Tonight had started out great, but it had come to a crashing end. Leaving her siblings behind had been hard on her, and I’d been so fucking torn. I wanted to grab her and run away from all that shit that made her unhappy. Knowing it was because she loved them, that she cared, made me feel guilty for wanting to be selfish with her. I didn’t want to share her. I wanted her smiling and happy. Her family seemed to do the opposite to her.

The bedroom door opened as I moved the last chocolate chip pancake from the griddle to a plate. I looked up from the breakfast I’d gotten up early to start on to see Haisley standing there in my hoodie that I’d left hanging over the sofa in my bedroom. A sleepy smile touched her lips as she made her way over to the bar.

“You’re making pancakes,” she said.

I turned off the griddle and walked around the bar. I needed to touch her. “They’re not just any pancakes. They’re Christmas Eve chocolate chip pancakes. I also made bacon and sliced up strawberries.” I grabbed her by the waist and tugged her against my bare chest.

She tilted her head back to look up at me. “I’ve never had Christmas Eve chocolate chip pancakes, and I’ve never had a hot, shirtless guy cook for me.”

I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Good. If another one does, I’ll have to kill him.”

She laughed and turned her head so that our lips met. I let go of her waist to cup her face in my hands. Having her lean into me and grab my biceps, like she couldn’t get close enough, gave me some reassurance that she felt something beyond our situation. I sucked on her bottom lip before tasting her again. When she broke the kiss and dropped her forehead to my chest, she sighed.

“I’m sorry about last night. You went to all that trouble to make it special.”

I ran my hands down her arms. “Please don’t apologize. None of that was your fault. I’m just sad it was ruined for you and the others.”

She took a deep breath and looked up at me. “I’m going to enjoy today. I am going to call later and check on things. I want to catch Mom at home if I can. I’d like to talk to her about Silver. Not that it will do much good.”

I was going to do all I could to make sure her Christmas Eve was special. “We’ll get her help. I promise.”

So many emotions flashed in her lavender eyes. I wanted to dissect them all and understand what she was thinking.

“This isn’t your problem. I got pregnant, and since finding out, you have done more than I would have ever asked for. The baby is your only responsibility. You don’t have to take on all my other baggage.”

This kind of talk had to stop. She was keeping a wall up, and I wanted every fucking wall burned to the ground. No barriers between us. I wanted all of her.

“Haisley, let me make myself clear. This isn’t about responsibility. This is about my wanting you happy. I love seeing you smile. I love hearing you laugh. This past year, my life changed, and until you, I had very little that gave me any kind of peace or joy. My head was all fucked up, and my chest felt twisted all the time. But when I’m with you, it makes all of that shit okay. You center me. Remind me about the good in life. So, when I do things for you, it’s because I have an overpowering need to take care of you. I need to.”

That was as close as I was going to get to telling her I loved her. At least for now. But damn if that wasn’t the definition, then I didn’t know what was.

“Saxon?”

“Yes?”

“You are very good with words.” A small smile touched her lips. “I don’t know what to say to that.”

I leaned down and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. “Say, Sounds good. You can fix all my problems. Then, let’s eat breakfast.”

She laughed then, and that lightness I craved spread through me.

“You center me too,” she whispered.

That was good. That was real fucking good.

I reached around, grabbed her panty-covered ass, and gave it a squeeze. “Sit down. Let me feed you.”

More laughter. God, I really did love that sound.

I reached for the remote and turned Christmas music on, then picked up the fireplace remote and turned it on even though it was seventy degrees today.

“What color and setting for our Christmas Eve lights?” I asked her.

She chewed her bottom lip for a moment in thought, then let it pop free. “Colored and dancing.”

I set it for her, then went to fill her plate. I would be damned if something was going to ruin this day. I wanted it to be perfect for her. The thought that I’d kill to make it happen crossed my mind, and I paused. That kind of thing had been coming to me more and more lately. Was it because I’d seen enough death now that it was making me numb to it? Or was it all about Haisley? Until her, there hadn’t been anyone I was willing to kill for.