Five

Haisley

The past two weeks, I’d been on edge, afraid of my shadow, thinking Levi would come for me and follow through with his threat. But I hadn’t seen any of them. Except when I slept at night. Most of the time, Saxon appeared in my dreams. Those were times I didn’t want to wake up. It was the nightmares Levi and the blonde tattooed guy appeared in when I woke up in a cold sweat and on the verge of a panic attack.

Today was the first time I could relax and believed I was safe. They weren’t coming for me. It was a relief.

After getting off work, I bought a box of spaghetti noodles from the dollar store on my walk to Milly’s apartment. Thankfully, her apartment was only one mile from the hotel. At least the December weather was bearable.

Once I arrived, the apartment was empty. I was always nervous that Milly wouldn’t be there, but Rog, her boyfriend, would be. He looked at me in ways that made me uncomfortable. With both of them being gone, I changed out of my scratchy uniform and into something comfortable, then went to make my dinner. I was tempted to boil the entire box of noodles and eat them all. I was starving, but I needed this box to feed me for at least four meals.

While I waited on the noodles to boil, I pulled out the number I’d taken from the Roommate Wanted poster on the bulletin board outside. The apartment was a two-bedroom with three other people already living in it. Which made the rent affordable, but I would be sleeping on a sofa bed in the living room. The other two rooms were taken, although for one hundred more dollars, I could share a room with a guy. I was fine with the sofa bed.

I intended to call them tonight when Milly got home and I could borrow her phone. She was ready for me to move out. She’d made that very clear. I wasn’t sure if she wanted privacy with Rog or if she’d noticed his odd behavior with me. The way he watched me all the time and the inappropriate comments he made. I was thinking that was probably the main reason she wanted me out.

The noodles finished cooking, and I drained them, then moved them to a bowl. My stomach growled with anticipation. I twirled the noodles around my fork before lifting it to my mouth and taking a bite. Chewing slowly and not eating too fast helped with hunger pains. I’d learned that trick years ago when Mom was tight on money and there were too many of us to feed. Also, drinking a lot of water helped. I reached for my glass and drank until it was empty before standing to go fill it up some more.

The apartment door opened as I was walking over to the sink. Milly walked in the door, smiling brightly. She was normally moody, so seeing her happy was a change.

“Good day?” I asked.

She tossed her purse on the small round table that stood between the living room and kitchen area. “Rog is taking me out tomorrow night to a fancy restaurant with linen napkins, chandeliers, and shit. His company is hosting a Christmas party for them. I’m going to eat lobster!”

Milly walked over and looked at the bowl of noodles I’d left on the coffee table. “You know you need to eat more than that. You’re pregnant.”

I filled my glass with water. “I bought a jar of peanut butter last week. This week, it’s noodles. I’ll balance it out.”

Milly shook her head. “You need to give this kid up for adoption if you’re not going to get an abortion. You can’t even feed yourself properly. How the fuck do you think you can feed a kid? And get it diapers and all that shit babies need?”

The panic was creeping back in. I didn’t need to hear someone else remind me that I couldn’t afford a baby. It made it real. Not just a fear I could brush off.

“At least tell the father. Even if he’s a loser, you can get some kind of help from him.”

The words had almost tumbled out of me two weeks ago when he opened that door and looked at me. The fear of what Levi would do to me if he found out kept me silent. Then, the naked woman standing behind him helped seal my lips closed. He had moved on from me easily enough. Other than showing up at the trailer once, he let me go without much of a fight. I should be thankful since I didn’t want to die. But deep down, it had hurt right up until I saw those two pink lines. That was another level of fear that had pushed all other emotions aside.

“I can handle it. I’m saving money. By the time the baby comes, I’ll be ready.”

Milly walked over to the fridge and pulled out a box of leftover pizza. “Here, eat a slice of this at least. Noodles aren’t enough.”

My mouth watered as I thought about pizza. How long had it been since I’d had something more than bread, noodles, or peanut butter? Two months. That was how long. I looked at the box, then back at Milly. She’d been very verbal about her food being off-limits while I was here. She was giving me a place to crash and helping me get a job, as a favor to Silver. But she wasn’t going to feed me.

“Go ahead,” she said. “Eat a damn slice. But just one. The other one is my dinner.”

“You’re sure?” I asked, wanting to grab a slice and shove it in my mouth.

“Yes. Get a slice before I change my damn mind.” She opened it, and my stomach growled at the sight of veggies and meat that covered the slices. “Don’t eat it fast though. It will probably just come back up. You barely eat anything, and your stomach is the size of a fucking pea by now.”

I reached in and took a slice of the old pizza. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” she replied, closing the lid.

Unable to wait, I took a bite and fought back the moan of pleasure even if it was cold. It was more than I’d had since my mother had tossed me out. My thoughts went to the last slice of pizza I’d had, and I wished I could just forget it. All of it. Every moment.

Two Months and One Week Ago

“Sausage, bacon, and mushrooms, right?” Saxon asked me as he pulled out a large black cooler from the back of his truck.

“Uh, is this a pizza question?”

Last night, we’d talked on the phone for hours. He’d asked me about my favorite pizza, and I’d told him. But we were currently in the woods at a large tent he’d apparently put up earlier. There was no pizza around here.

“Do you like those toppings on something else?” he teased.

Unable not to smile when I thought about the night ahead and getting to be with Saxon alone, like this, I shrugged. “Maybe. I mean, it sounds like something that would be good on a hot dog or maybe smothered tots.”

He paused, then nodded. “Fuck. You’re right. That sounds good. But, yeah, I’m talking about pizza.”

Setting down the cooler, he opened it and pulled out a box of pizza from a place in town I’d never been to, but I recognized the name. It was popular.

“Come with me,” he said.

I walked over and fell into step beside him as he led me down a small path that opened up to what I assumed was the springs. Stepping onto a small deck that overlooked the crystal-clear water, he set the pizza down, then lowered himself, dangling his legs off the edge. I did the same and leaned forward to stare down at the smooth rocks beneath the water.

“It’s so pretty,” I said in awe. I’d never seen water this clear.

“Mineral springs,” he said to me, opening the box of pizza and taking out a slice. “Hungry?”

He held the slice out to me, and it was surprisingly still warm. The cheese was melting off the side, and I could see the heat rising from it.

“Yes, thank you,” I told him, taking the pizza and inhaling. I loved that smell.

At home, I made whatever frozen boxed pizza was on sale that week, or we made bread pizza with slices of stale white bread, sauce, and cheese. They definitely didn’t compare to this.

We ate in silence for a few minutes, and I enjoyed yet another delicious meal, thanks to Saxon. This week, he’d taken me to several restaurants. Each one seemed better than the last. However, this pizza, sitting out here, in a setting this breathtaking, alone with Saxon, made this one my favorite.

“That good, huh?” he asked in an amused tone.

Had I said that out loud?

Saxon reached over and brushed his thumb over my bottom lip, then stuck it in his mouth and sucked. When he pulled it out, his eyes were still watching me. “I like the little noises you’re making. Please keep eating.”

I swallowed the bite in my mouth. “I don’t make noises.” At least, I hoped not.

He leaned closer to me and pressed his lips against mine. “Yeah, you do.”

Was he teasing me? I started to say more when he reached for my half-eaten slice and set it down on the box, then cupped the side of my face with one hand while leaning in to kiss me again.

Kissing Saxon had become my favorite thing in the world. No one had ever kissed me the way he did. Somehow, without words, he made me feel special and cherished. My body hummed with pleasure while my heart raced. Everything about him was perfect.