| |
Aaron
Our weekend is going by much too quickly. Saturday, we spend the whole day in the park at the pool. Cooper and I join the girls, riding the slides and playing in the wave pools. We spend the afternoon lounging on floats as we floated down the man-made, lazy river.
I leave Cooper downstairs with the girls so I could come up to Cooper’s room to check my phone I left charging. I’m waiting for a phone call from the leasing agent, hoping to get approved for one of the apartments I looked at.
I snag my phone from the nightstand and open the messages to notice two missed calls and a few emails waiting for me. I check my voicemail as I scroll through my emails.
“Mr. Reed, this is Veronica with the West side leasing office. I wanted to call and inform you that you were chosen for the apartment on Sunset Avenue. I sent the leasing documents to your email. Please fill them out and send them back at your earliest convenience. Please bring a check for first, last, and deposit with you to the office here on Monday. Have a great weekend.”
I stare down at my phone and hit the button to send the message to archives. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe I got an apartment, and we will finally have our own place. A place that will be mine and the girls alone.
I can’t wait to tell the girls. This news is going to make their weekend.
As I head for the door, a pounding bursts out from the other side. Confused on whom it can be, I peer out the peephole and groan. What the fuck is he doing here?
I step back and swing the door open to find Charles leaning against the door frame. His wrinkled suit jacket and dark blue button-up shirt lay open half-way down his chest. It gives off the appearance he has slept in his clothes.
“Well, isn’t this cozy. Now the two of you are vacationing together?” he asks as he shoulders his way past me and into the room. He spins around, looking around. “Where is he?” he shouts into the empty space.
Letting go of the door, I step back, allowing it to close behind me. “He’s not here. He’s downstairs with my sisters,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Isn’t that fucking cute?” His voice is laced with disgust as he closes the space between us. He’s so close I can see the gloss in his red-rimmed eyes. He’s either drunk or strung out on drugs.
“I think you need to leave. Do you need me to call an Uber? Wait, I hope you didn’t drive here.”
“Don’t you worry about me. The question is: Why in the hell are you here? What kind of voodoo shit you have over him? He never keeps a boy this long. So why the fuck are you still here? What is it about you that he wants to keep so bad?”
Charles’s eyes glow with fury. I’ve seen anger like this before in my mom once when she went through a withdrawal. No matter how I tried to talk her down, nothing worked. She only became more enraged.
Charles walks toward me, like a lion stalking her pray.
I take a step back, cautiously, trying to put some space between us.
He crept closer, the anger in his eyes growing to a sinister stare. “I’m wondering what the hell you have that no one else does. ‘Cause he sure as hell likes having you around. Or are you just a great fuck? Is that it? What is it you do for our sick and twisted Addison Cooper, huh? He loves turning straight boys queer. Hell, he did it with me. I’d never been with a man until Cooper put his dick in me. Guess I wasn’t enough for him since he had no problem casting me to the side for you.” His words and body keep me backing away until my back hits the wall. With nowhere else to go, I face him head on.
“I don’t know what went on with the two of you, but I have nothing to do with it.” I try to reason with him, but my words aren’t affecting him.
“You did. He told me he was done with escorts. Told me he was through with all this shit. Imagine my surprise when I arrived in town and find out about you. You were supposed to be a weekend fuck. Not a week and a fucking vacation. You think he’s going to play daddy to those girls? Now he’s thinking about not going home. Did you know that? What did you do to him?”
He nears me, and my gaze darts back to the door. My heart is racing in fear because this man is larger than me by forty pounds. If he wanted, he could do serious harm.
“What I can’t figure out is why you? What do you have that I don’t?” His malicious words slice through me, causing my fear to spike.
He continues. “Maybe he likes that mouth of yours, huh? Is that cock-sucking mouth of yours what has Addison keeping you? Or is it that plump little smooth ass? Maybe if I have a go at you, I’ll see what the fuss is all about. Maybe I’ll want to tell everyone else to fuck off while I playhouse with you for a week, too.” He grips the front of my shirt, shaking me and slamming me back into the wall.
“Fuck off,” I say, pushing against his chest. It was no use trying to budge him. He was like steel in front of me.
“What do you think? Think I should bend you over this bed and find out what Addison sees in you?” He roughly pulls me forward, only to shove me back once again.
I hit the back of my head against the wall, wincing as pain shoots through my skull. The fear of his threatening words has my heart racing.
“I said back the fuck off me.” I fight and claw, trying to release his tight grip.
He then uses his back-handed slap across my cheek. The metallic taste of blood immediately floods my mouth.
“Why don’t you stop being a little bitch and do as your told?” His fists curl in the front of my shirt, and he uses it to toss me to the side.
I trip over my own footing and fall face-first on the floor. Before I can push myself off the ground, a heavy weight is thrown across my back, forcing my face closer to the floor. He pushes my cheek into the carpet.
The pain in my head rattles again, causing tears to burn the back of my eyes.
“Do you think he’ll want you back after I’m done with you?” His words glaze over my ear as he leans closer. The odor of alcohol penetrates my nostrils as his breath fans over my face.
“Do you think Cooper will let you get away with this? What do you think he’ll do to you if you hurt me?” My words are forced out through the side of my mouth since my face is smashed against the ground.
“What makes you think he’ll believe you against me? I’m his lover, his partner. He’ll believe me over you. He’ll listen to me. Not you.”
I buck my body wildly against him. “Let me the fuck up.”
He presses against the back of my neck harder. The pressure against my skull is making my eyes water.
Suddenly, the crushing weight of his body on top of me is gone. I try to push myself into a sitting position, but the shooting pain along my head stops me.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Relief floods through me as Cooper’s voice fills the room. I force myself to gain my bearings and sit up. My gaze zeroes in on Cooper, who is standing over Charles as he lies slung across the floor where he was thrown.
Charles raises his palms into the air between them as if he is pleading with Cooper. “Baby, I love you.”
Cooper’s face is hidden from my view, but his body grows stiff and straight. “I told you once before, that’s over. We’re finished.” His words are breathless.
“B-but we don’t have to be. You can forgive me. Please.”
Cooper grips the front of his shirt and hauls him to his feet. “You come here high on God knows what and attack my guest in my goddamn room and you want me to forgive you? I’m done with you. Pack your shit and be on the first plane out.”
Charles stumbles to his feet. Gazing up at Cooper as if he can’t believe the words he is hearing. “Cooper...”
“I said now!” Cooper shouts, pointing to the open door.
Charles’s gaze shifts my way then back to Cooper before deciding to do as he is told. The door slams behind him, and Cooper drops down on his knees next to me, cupping my face.
The grim lines in his mouth tells me he didn’t like what he saw. “I’ll grab some ice,” he says, pushing away to head out the door.
A minute later, he’s back, handing me a hand towel loaded with ice and instructing me to hold it against my swollen cheek.
“I’m sorry he did this. Charles has always been clingy, but he’s never taken it this far before.” He sits next to me on the small couch across from the bed.
“Where are the girls?” I don’t want them to see me like this.
“Down at the park. I came up to find out what was taking you so long. I would have been here sooner, but I went to your room first.”
“I left my phone here last night,” I inform him. I then remember something Charles said. “He said you’re not going home now. Did he mean back to Denver?”
Cooper’s gaze drops from mine. “I informed the board that I was available to stay longer if they need me to.”
I nod. “So you’re willing to stay for work? Not because of...this?” I motion between the two of us.
Avoiding my eyes, Cooper stands and walks toward the mini bar. “I told you, Aaron, tomorrow we go our separate ways. My rules are in place for a reason. I’m not in a position in my life where I can offer any more than this right now.”
I nod. “I’m not, either. I have school and the girls. I’ll need to find a new job with more hours. Especially now I got the apartment.”
“You did? Congratulations.” His bright smile tells me he is being sincere.
“Thanks. I found out just before he...” I pause, not wanting to bring Charles back up. “I want to tell the girls tonight over dinner. I figured we could take them for pizza and tell them before we head home tomorrow. Give them something to look forward to.”
“I could go for some greasy pizza.”
I pull the towel of ice away from my face and turn my cheek toward him. “How does it look? I don’t want the girls to be freaked out.”
His strong, firm hand grips my chin and gently turns my face higher. “Red and a little swollen. Not deep enough to need stitches, and the bleeding has stopped.”
I push off the couch and toss the ice into the bathroom sink. “I better go check on the girls and have them shower and change.”
Cooper nods. “Do you want me to wait for you before I hop in the shower or...”
“I think I’m going to get ready in my room. My clothes are already there.”
“Sure, I’ll meet you three down in the lobby at five?”
I agree and head toward the door.
Cooper stops me. “If you want to press charges against Charles, I’ll support you. I’ll give my statement to the police and do whatever we need to.”
His words are simple, but they mean the world to me. “Thank you. It means a lot that you would stand with me against someone who means so much to you. But I think I’d like to forget anything ever happened.”
“You sure?”
I nod. “Yeah. We’ll be ready by five.”
***
SHELBY ACTUALLY SCREAMED when I told her about the apartment. When she learned she was about to have her own room, something she’s never had before, to say she was excited is an understatement.
Cooper and I took the girls to a nearby pizza place, where the four of us ate more grease than anyone should.
Kenzie played on the massive colorful jungle gym while Shelby headed to the arcade where the older kids hung out.
“When can you pick up the key to the apartment?” Cooper asks after pushing his empty plate away from in front of him.
“The leasing agent said I can sign the papers tomorrow and pick up the key as soon as I pay the rent and the deposit. I figure I would miss class tomorrow to go down there before the girls get out of school. We don’t have much to move, but what we do have, Jonah’s brother-in-law is going to move for us in his truck. At least the girls will have a bed to sleep on.”
“I can give a hand if you want. Since I’ll be in town a few more days.”
My heart begins to race, and hope blooms in my chest. “Don’t you have work to do? Isn’t that why you’re staying another week?”
“I’m staying because...” His words trail off; he’s unsure of what to say.
“Work?” I offer to finish for him.
His gaze meets mine. “Yes. Work.”
“You’re leaving after that? Going back to Denver, I mean?”
His gaze drops from mine, and he nods. “I have to sometime. It’s my home.”
He’s right. He will have to go back eventually. This isn’t his home. He doesn’t belong here. What did I expect? That he would fall madly in love with me and decide to leave his state, his home, his whole life for me? I’m in for a rude awakening. Things like that don’t happen to guys like me.
“I could help move you in and make sure you’re all settled before I head out.”
My heart breaks with the conformation that he truly doesn’t have any intentions in staying.
Whether it’s a goodbye tomorrow or seven days from now, we still need to say it. Tears build in my eyes, but I won’t let the stupid emotions show.
“No. We’re okay. We’ll have enough help, and you’ve done so much for us. We’ll be fine. Thank you.”
For a moment, he seems to want to argue, but after a minute, he nods, and we both turn away to staring out over the restaurant. Saying goodbye tomorrow is going to be hard.
***
THAT NIGHT AFTER THE girls fell asleep, I slip out of their room to cross the hall. It’s our last night together. I had thought about not coming over tonight. Thinking it may be better to make a clean break after last night, but I can’t stay away. I can’t bring myself to say goodbye yet.
Cooper is in bed, leaning against the headboard, asleep. His laptop on the bed next to him, his glasses still on his face. He looks so young and peaceful in slumber. His features are softer with his trendy glasses giving him a geek vibe that I’m kind of into. This man did not appear his age in sleep. I smile as I take in the sight of him. I’m going to miss him.
Slipping off my shoes, I slide into bed next to him. Closing the laptop, I place it onto the nightstand and edge closer to his side. My cheek resting on his warm hard pec, I glide my arm over his stomach and snuggle in deeper. I take in the scent of his cologne, breathing it in as deep as I can as if to lock in the smell to memory. I wonder if he’d notice if I took his bottle from the bathroom. Not that I want to wear it, but I would like to be able to remember him on nights where my memories will be all I’ll have of him.
I began to drift off when Cooper shifts under me. “Aaron? Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep. What time is it?” His voice soft from sleep.
“After eleven. We had a long day, and we’re all tired. I thought about leaving you alone to sleep, but I guess I couldn’t help myself,” I tease.
He moves his hand moves up my side until his fingers are stroking my arm. “I’m glad you did. It’s our last night together. What can I do for you tonight?” he asks, kissing the top of my head.
I turn my face up to his. “Would it be okay to stay like this for a while? I like the feeling of being held by you. It makes me feel comforted.”
He moves his arm around my back and pulls me into his side. “Of course. I love the feeling of you lying next to me.” He leans over, placing a soft kiss on my lips.
We stay this way for a while. The only sound between us is the steady inhales of our breathing.
“Is it always this hard?” My question is whisper soft.
“Um?”
“Saying goodbye. You’ve done this a few times, right? Are they always this hard?”
Cooper remains quiet for a long moment as his hand caresses over my skin. I don’t think he is going to answer me until he does. “I don’t remember any of their names.”
That wasn’t the answer I was expecting. “Who?”
“The others. I can’t remember their names. I spent the night, sometimes two nights with them, but I can’t remember not one name.”
“Oh.” Was that supposed to make me feel better? I like that none who came before me were meaningful, but it also made me worry that I wasn’t, either.
“So to answer your question, no, the goodbyes were never hard. I guess I never thought twice about them after they left.”
“This is hard for me. I’m not sure what I’m expecting. I never thought seven days ago I would be here feeling things for a man I hardly know.”
He presses his lips to my forehead. “It’s hard for me, too. I’ve never expected you, either.” He’s silent for a moment before he adds. “I wish things could be different.”
“Are you going to forget my name?” I ask, intending to tease him.
Cooper grips my chin and turns my face up to his. He lowers his body farther down the bed until we are eye to eye.
“Baby, I’m never going to forget you. You will be in my mind as my hottest desire, my secret fantasy, and my biggest regret for leaving.”
I desperately want to scream at him and ask him why he is leaving me, then. I want to tell him to stay for me. But I don’t. I can’t be another disappointment for someone. I can’t have another person in my life who doesn’t want to be there.
“We have tonight. Guess we better make it count,” I say, smiling, before I lean up and capture his mouth with mine.
We make love well into the early morning hours. We cherish, worship, and love each other for the time we have left.
***
I WAKE IN A PANIC AFTER sleeping for only a few hours. My heart racing as I slip from the bed and gather my things. I need to be out of here before he wakes. Not out of the room, but away from the hotel. The girls and I can rent a car and head back. I can’t do a goodbye with him, not now. I can’t see and touch him or put a smile on my face in front of the girls while dying inside. I can’t pretend not to love him because I do.
I give one last look around the room, letting my gaze take in the sight of the man lying on his stomach in the center of the bed. The white sheet hiding the view of his firm ass which I will keep the image of chiseled into memory forever. Taking a deep breath to help my breaking heart, I whisper, “I love you,” turn away, and move on to my new life. Without him.
