CHANGE #21

Make an “I Will Do” List and Stick to It

SIMPLY PUT… Write out a to-do list of everything you need to do tomorrow. Take two of those items off that list and move them to a new list—the things you will do tomorrow. No matter what happens—those two things must get done.

There are two kinds of people in the world—those who say i should and those who say i will.

I used to be an i should girl. My days were always filled with things like: I should go work out; I should order the salad; I should finish up this paper before I go out tonight; I should try yoga, call my mom, eat more broccoli, ask him out, ask her out. I can go on, but I’ll spare you my boring to-do lists from days/months/years past. (Although “ask her out” isn’t a boring story at all… but I digress.)

Then about fifteen years ago, I met my friend Bill. He was an i will guy—charming, successful, charismatic, and driven. My parents loved him (as dating material) and never wasted an opportunity to tell me so. Truth be told, there wasn’t much not to love.

Bill was fun to watch. He was like a machine when it came to getting things done every day. He would take a 6:00 a.m. spin class, read three papers, walk his dog, do errands on his way to work, call, text, and e-mail everyone back, order groceries, arrange furniture deliveries, have his front hall painted, book a vacation… and then he would stop for lunch.

As a perennial i should girl, this was obviously incredibly annoying to me. While I was having a hard time just sitting down to write my to-do list, Bill was knocking off his and anyone else’s in a ten-mile radius. So one day (read: one of my particularly unproductive days), I asked him his secret.

“There’s no real secret,” he explained. “Just try not to prioritize certain things over others on your to-do list. Don’t always stick ‘work’ on top. Don’t always drop ‘gym’ to the bottom. And if that’s where they belong, then switch up the list every few days.”

I was sold.

That same i should girl who used to prioritize her to-do list based on what she felt was most important (work on top, paying bills somewhere in the middle, and on the bottom: work out, eat more vegetables, and cancel my extra AOL e-mail account—Hey, I said it was years ago!) eventually became an i will girl. I quickly realized that the people who always seemed to find time to get everything done never had more time in their day than I did—they just knew how to prioritize better.

The takeaway? Everyone gets the same twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. It’s what you do with that time that matters most.

I WILL VS. I SHOULD

Instead of creating a traditional to-do list, I want you to imagine two separate lists: One is I WILL do and one is i should do.

The I WILL dos are the things we never falter on because we either love to do them or we know the consequences are too great if we don’t do them:

• I WILL get up in the morning, brush my teeth, get dressed, go to work.

• I WILL watch my favorite TV show.

• I WILL be at that two o’clock meeting.

• I WILL get my kids up and ready for school.

• I WILL pay my bills.

• I WILL take the garbage out every week.

And then there are the I SHOULD DOS. These are the tasks we know we need to do, but when push comes to shove, they’re the ones that get the big heave-ho:

• I SHOULD organize my workspace better.

• I SHOULD go back to yoga and take my bike out of storage.

• I SHOULD fix that squeaky door that drives me crazy every time I open it.

• I SHOULD get to those 156 e-mails in my inbox.

Prioritizing your life in the right order is a crucial step within the thirty Changes. Being able to keep priorities in your life from stacking up reduces stress because it will mean there’s one less thing you need to worry about.

But more important, it will remind you that you’re on top of—and in control of—your day, which will leave you feeling more accomplished, motivated, and energized. It’s that positive feeling that can boost your pride and help you make smarter decisions as the day goes on, which will make sticking to the thirty Changes much easier.

Your Task

So, each day I want you to make a list of everything you need to do for the next day. Then take two of those tasks (preferably two you feel are the hardest to stick to) and move them to your i will do list. I need you to make whatever those two tasks are just as important as brushing your teeth, taking the kids to school, and earning a paycheck—so they get crossed off your list for good.

The fewer things left on your plate, the less stress you’ll feel in your life, and the easier it will be to stick with the thirty Changes.

DON’T STOP THERE…

Even though I’m hoping that you’ve performed all of the twenty Changes you’ve learned so far to the letter—and that you’ll do the same with the Changes about to come—I’m not naïve. I know there have been several you’ve probably stumbled with along the way.

Was it the twenty sips of water first thing in the morning? Or did the cold weather last week make it easier to pass on the 10k steps for a few days? Look, only you know which Changes have been an easier journey than others, so I want you to make me—no, make yourself—a deal.

I’d like you to take whichever few Changes seem to be the hardest to stick with and move them to your i will do list. Some healthy lifelong habits take a little more work than others, and the more often you can cross them off your list, the more they will become part of who you are.

Tips and Tricks

Everyone has their own methods for keeping themselves on track. But there are a few proven approaches that can make decision making and task management a little easier. If you’re having a hard time turning an i should into an i will, then give a few of these a try.

Never write vague goals—write specific actions. Jotting down goals that are too broad and unclear (like “clean the upstairs”) can feel too imposing. Even if you managed to clean half of it, not being able to check it off your i will do list at day’s end can leave you feeling defeated. Instead, write down only specific tasks (such as “vacuum the upstairs bedroom” or “put away all the towels in the upstairs bathroom,” for example) that are immediately actionable.

Create your own “maximum capacities.” Clutter is killer, and having too many things—whether its e-mails or tasks you’ve taken on—can leave you feeling buried. Instead, use the two-for-one rule: Before you allow yourself to take on something new, make yourself finish two things that have been sitting around waiting for your attention.

Don’t be afraid to say no. Just as no one likes a yes-man, being a no-thank-you person may seem like you won’t earn any points with friends. But always being generous of your time when people are constantly interrupting your day to gossip—or asking you to help them with their to-dos—can make it impossible to address your own.

Don’t be a multitasker—be a single-tasker. Despite how proud spinning twenty plates at the same time may make you feel, most people are far more productive focusing on one task instead of dividing their focus between several. It’s OK to jump from one task to another, but always give whatever task you’re working on your absolute attention.

Write out a “to-don’t” list. We all have those little habits or distractions or vices we pour time into while getting little back in return. If you know yours, scribble them down. (Mine tend to include spending too much time with my four social friends, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest.) Then copy that list several times so you have one in view by your desk, in your car, in your kitchen, taped to your iPad—anyplace where seeing a list of your time eaters will guilt you into not wasting away your day.