Chapter 11

Fame and Fortune

For weeks after the Donnington gig the press went wild about Cuch’s performance.

The offers of gigs came pouring in - so much so that Cuch had to have his own agent to sort out his busy schedule and all the legalities about his fees.

The Lee family gave up any notion of trying to work for a living. Every day seemed to be a busy round of TV interviews, performances and travelling all over the country.

Their only proviso in accepting the bookings would be that the on-stage music was not overloud for Cuch’s ears. And the deal was that if Cuch no longer wanted to dance, then he could retire from showbusiness whenever he chose.

“When he stops enjoying the music, that’s when we’ll quit,” Janine would say.

Wherever the family took Cuch to perform it was always smiles all round. Everyone seemed delighted - except for Alan Greyman who continued his snipes in the local press.

But the public made their own minds up and his stories and comments were largely ignored.

There was even one report on the internet that Cuch was really an electronically operated dog - that no real dog could possibly dance to rock music. The family really laughed at that one.

But it was as if most people couldn’t get enough of the feelgood factor. Even those who had already seen Cuch dance would follow him from gig to gig. He had his own groupies!

Although most local people were respectful of the family’s privacy at home, Alex suggested having CCTV installed to ensure Cuch’s safety. Cuch was priceless - but first and foremost he was a much loved family dog.

Cuch’s repertoire was also expanding. The usual boring commands of ‘sit’, ‘lie down’, ‘heel’ or ‘beg’ were not for him. Instead of these basics, Cuch and Lucas worked tirelessly on new dance routines. They had become famous, but most certainly were not going to rest on their laurels.

As well as headbanging and stage diving, Cuch would ‘air guitar’ standing on his hind legs and ‘strumming’ with his front right paw.

Lucas would perform a move and Cuch would do his best to copy. Lucas even invented names for the moves to help Cuch remember them.

He would shout ‘squich!’ and they would both leap together, throwing their bodies into a kind of sideways twitch mid air.

At the command of ‘ber-doing!’ Cuch would bounce up and down in time to the music with all four paws leaving the ground together. (This was particularly effective for the Status Quo tracks where Lucas would shout ‘ber-doing ber-doing ber-doing in time to the 12-bar music). The practice sessions were hilarious to watch - with Tom, Louis and Grace often collapsing to the floor laughing at the ridiculous names Lucas called the dance moves.

The ‘pa-rout’ command resulted in Cuch doing a side step with his right front paw, following by four headbangs. He seemed to know instinctively when to bring his paw back into place, then start a ‘pa-rout’ all over again.

Cuch particularly enjoyed the command ‘smosh!’ which was an excuse for Lucas and Cuch to bounce off each other in mock mosh fashion. They would do this until they fell exhausted into a happy heap on the floor, usually followed by one of Cuch’s special ‘smiles’.

For heavy ballads the command was ‘swooze!’ and they would sway slowly but dramatically from side to side with one arm/paw outstretched.

A ‘wodge’ was a wide stance accompanied by slow meaningful headbanging.

A ‘2 toot’ was a kind of 2 steps forward then back.

A ‘wizzle’ involved headbanging while moving in a circle.

A ‘bown flea’ was a dramatic, slow downward movement, followed by a sudden dart-like leap straight into the air.

A ‘swayzee’ was a side to side smooth move.

The pair became so in tune with each other that they would often do the same moves to interpret the music.

Money was now pouring in from merchandise.

A leading toy manufacturer came up with a long haired, dancing rock dog, wearing a leather jacket and studded collar.

At the press of a button he would dance to a variety of rock classics on a plastic stage. The toy was popular with kids and adults alike.

There were Cuch mugs, Cuch posters, Cuch key rings and Cuch T shirts with hilarious slogans such as ‘I’m Butch Like Cuch’. The list went on and on.

Then came the movie.

Lucas began to think he was living in an alternative universe. Things like this just did not happen to an ordinary family.

First of all most families did not have a rock dog.

Secondly most families didn’t find themselves liaising with writers, directors and animators.

Animation was now so sophisticated that making a collie dance was no problem. And with the use of animation, the dancing could be notched up another level.

The money was rolling in - which gave the family a golden opportunity to do something really special.