It was another blazing day in the hood and everyone and their mama was outside hustling, gossiping, and scheming. I walked past the local dope boys as they were shooting dice on the corner. Each one of them niggas was fly, rocking Christen Dior and some more shit. I wondered how a small piece of rock could have niggas fresh to death like they were. I found myself dreaming of the day when I could dress like them, spit game to girls like them, and most of all, get money like them.

I walked down the street with no destination in sight, thinking about the bullshit that Rod had just sprung on me. He was forever scheming and now wanted me to get down with some shit that he was trying to do. I wasn’t with scheming, especially from people that tried to help us. I knew the moment that Mr. Blue took us to his house, Rod’s wheels would start turning, and sure enough, he had come up with this plan for us to rob them.

Too bad he would have to do it himself because I wouldn’t fuck Mr. Blue and his family over, not after they welcomed me into their home and treated me nice. That was the difference between my cousin and I. I was living to survive while he was living to die. There had been a series of break-ins in the neighborhood and no one knew that it was Rod. Now he thought that he’d hit the jackpot going to Mr. Blue’s house. Hopefully he wouldn’t get caught up, but maybe that was what he needed to calm his ass down.

I finally made my way home and it was quiet, surprisingly. The snitch, Danni, was out with her friends, Kayla and my mom were sleeping, and who knew where Jaylen was or who he was doing. I settled on the couch and pulled out my Gameboy, and no more than five minutes into me playing, the door was opened abruptly, and in walked my brother with Keyshia right on his heels yelling up a storm.

“I don’t care what you say Jaylen, I am keeping this baby,” she yelled.

“Man, I don’t give a fuck. That don’t mean I’ma take care of it!”

“Grow up and be a man Jaylen! I didn’t lay down and have sex with myself.”

It’s like they didn’t even see me sitting on the couch as they continued to go back and forth, finally waking up my mother.

“What the hell is going on down here?” she asked, as she tied her housecoat tighter. The two of them suddenly became quiet and I noticed the puffy circles around my mother’s eyes. I could tell she had been crying.

“Mama, what’s wrong?” I asked, with a hint of concern in my voice.

“Nothing baby, Mama is fine. Now what is going on down here? And what was all that yelling about?”

“Well Ms. Evelyn, I’m pregnant, and the baby is Jaylen’s.”

Silence

Mama shut her eyes tight as she dropped her head.

“Mama we gone get a test. We don’t even know if it’s mine.”

“Shut up Jaylen. I don’t want to hear nothing from you right now. I couldn’t stop you from having sex, so I made sure that you had condoms so that this wouldn’t happen, and now look. How are we supposed to bring another mouth in here to feed? Huh? I just got laid off from cleaning the hospital, so what are we supposed to do now?” she cried out.

“Mama…” my brother started, but she only silenced him with the wave of her hand. Her once golden skin was now Casper white as she looked like the wind had been knocked out of her. Times like this, I wondered where my bitch ass daddy was. Mama couldn’t teach boys to be men and she had to do it all by herself. I guess he just upped and decided that he didn’t want to be a father anymore and bounced. I was thirteen years old and I hadn’t seen my daddy since I was four years old. I barely even remember the nigga, but if he couldn’t be a man for Mama, I would, and I now knew what I had to do. I called up Rod and let him know that I was down with whatever he wanted to do.

Rod decided that we would hit the Blue’s house that night, and though I didn’t want to do it, I had to. The closer we got to their home, the more the butterflies erupted in my stomach.

“Look nigga, you have to get rid of that scary shit. I already told you that we’re good. The last time that we were there I left the window up in the downstairs bathroom, so all we have to do is slip through it. I also watched him put his code into his safe in his office, so we’re good as gold. We should be in and out in five minutes or less. I really need you to come through for me cousin,” he prepped me.

“Alright, I’m down. Let’s just hurry up and get this shit over with.”

We caught the bus over town and then walked the rest of the way to their house. It was twelve in the morning and we waited around the back of the house making sure that everyone was sleeping. I took one last breath before it was time to start the show. It was now or never.