I walked outside just to clear my head a bit. A sadness washed over me seeing Kayla’s family. They all seemed so close knit and it just got to me how my family was taken away from me at such an early age. Flashbacks of seeing my mother laying on the ground with blood running from her head haunted me. Back then, I didn’t even know that she’d died from a heart attack. I couldn’t remember much from that night or a little before it. The doctors said that it was trauma-related amnesia. I would have flashbacks of seeing my mom and being assaulted, but I couldn’t recall any details or who did it. I could barely recall anything that happened days prior.
Why did some people have these big loving families and I didn’t? Why were my parents taken and all these other people had theirs? I felt myself getting hot as my nails pierced the inside of my hand. I could feel the blood spreading. Over the years, I had developed quite the mean streak, but it was a part of me that I didn’t like, so I tried my best to hide it.
“Game, Game!” I heard being yelled and when I looked up, kids were flying towards the shiny car that had just pulled up. I was surprised whoever it was could get out of the car the way people flocked to him, even grown men. I squinted my eyes just a little and recognized Kayla’s brother when three women whizzed by me.
“There goes that fine ass Game. What I wouldn’t give to occupy his bed every night. My damn baby daddy would be in the dust if he ever chose me,” the one with the leopard pants said.
“Girl, you know Game is picky as hell. He has bitches throwing pussy at him daily and he never bites. That bitch Bregan really broke his heart,” another one chimed in.
“Well chile, I’ma just keep dreaming about his fine ass picking me up and letting me bounce on it.”
They all started laughing and I caught Game, I now knew his name, as he was walking towards me, well, his mom’s house. Kids were still following him, and it seemed like every woman was fantasizing about him.
He looked like someone out of a fantasy movie. His hazelnut-colored skin glistened in the sun and his beard was nice and fluffy, but neatly shaped. I didn’t see a tattoo on any part of his body, which was cool because now-a-days, men were just marking anything on their body just to look down. His designer outfit hung from his 6’3 frame, but not too much like the little corner boys whose pants dropped blow their knees.
I stepped aside so that I would not block his way into the house.
“Aite y’all,” he said to the group of young boys who were following him.
“I will be checking for those grades next week. You get $20 for A’s and 10 for B’s. I don’t want to see no C’s, especially if you didn’t tell me that you needed help in that subject.”
“Okay Game, bet!” one said, and then their smiling faces all ran off. It made me smile a little inside.
“Anna, right? How are you doing?” he said once he finally got to me.
“I see Kayla done dragged you to one of our eventful family dinners.” He smiled.
“Hey. Yeah, she did,” I said, playing with my fingers.
“Yo! You’re bleeding,” he said, looking at my hand. “Come in here. I think Mama has a first-aid kit.” We walked into the house and it was as if everything stopped. Everyone became quiet and gave him their full attention before dapping him up and acting as if they hadn’t seen him in a while. It was like everyone gravitated to him and his mother beamed as she pulled him in for an embrace.
“Mama, I thought I was your favorite,” Kayla said, pouting in the corner.
“PSHHH!” Game said, while mushing her and leading me to the bathroom. He pulled out the first-aid kit from under the sink and sat on the toilet, directing me to sit on the edge of the tub.
“Open your hand,” he said, and I did so slowly. There were indentations from my nails, and I made a mental note to clip them.
“You did this to yourself shorty?”
I shook my head no, but something different came out of my mouth.
“It’s a bad habit when I’m nervous.”
“I know my peoples didn’t make you nervous. They’re a little crazy, but they’re cool.”
I didn’t say anything because for some reason, my voice was stuck in my throat.
“I hope you’re ready to eat,” he said, breaking the silence, and when I looked down at my hand, he had patched it all up.
“Alright, you’re good as new.” He smiled. “But next time, hit a bag or something, anything but this.” He put everything away and then walked out of the bathroom.
I walked out of the bathroom a few minutes later, and Mrs. West was putting the food out. I couldn’t wait to eat. I was filling out applications at the library all day and hadn’t eaten a thing. I spotted Game’s rude ass friend walking in; the one who berated me for falling on his Timbs. He spoke to everyone, but I noticed that when he spoke to Kayla, his eyes lingered on her for a little longer and she smiled like a schoolgirl. I wondered if they were dating.
This was a big ass family with kids running everywhere and their mamas weren’t paying them any attention. I met Danni, the other sister, but she was really short with me. And the baby brother kept smiling at me every time I looked in his direction. I may have looked his age, but I was definitely getting my weight up so that I could look like an adult for once.
We sat down to eat around 6 pm and before we started, Mrs. West made sure that we said grace. I bowed my head and closed my eyes.
Thirteen Years old
All the kids sat on the old-style porch while we waited to be called in for dinner. It was six of us and we were all around the same age wearing our pretty dresses and suits from church earlier that day. It was Easter Sunday and the church had an Easter egg hunt, in which I found four eggs, and one even had $5. So far, I had $18 and was saving up to get a House of Dereon outfit. I had priced pants and a shirt to be around sixty bucks. I figured it would take me a few more months to get it all.
“Aye kids! Dinner is ready. Y’all come on in here,” Mr. Smith said kindly.
This was my second foster home and by far, the nicest. Mr. Smith was so kind and always gave us snacks, even when his wife said no.
The five of us lined up and came in the house single-file. Sam, my foster brother, was just in a happy mood dancing all over the place. He loved Chris Brown.
“Sam, stop all that clowning around like you have ants in your pants,” Mrs. Smith said, making all the kids laugh. Mrs. Smith looked at us with a ‘don’t play with me’ look that silenced all of us. One by one, she handed us our plates and we took them to the table. Mrs. Smith was a little crazy, but her cooking was delicious. Tonight she had prepared chicken smothered in gravy, mashed potatoes and peas. In the oven an apple pie was baking, and I couldn’t wait to eat it with some vanilla ice cream.
I was handed my plate and walked to the table slowly so I wouldn’t drop it.
“Oooh, I need a napkin,” Sam said, getting up from his seat and dancing back to the kitchen to get a napkin.
Sam pop locked by me like he actually knew what he was doing and accidentally knocked into me, causing me to drop my plate. The food went all over the place and gravy had gotten on my new pink dress.
“What is going on in here?” Mrs. Smith walked up and asked.
“Sam made me spill my food, but-but-but it was an accident,” I said, looking into her cold black eyes.
“Well ain’t no wasting food in this house so get down there and eat it!” she demanded. I looked at her to see if she was joking, but I knew she wasn’t when she grabbed me by my neck and pushed me down to the floor.
“I said get to eating bitch. NOW!”
I quickly began to put peas in my mouth one by one and gagged on a dust ball. My choking didn’t even move her as tears formed in my eyes.
“Oh, so you choking now? I can help you with that.” She then stepped on the food, mushing it with her shoe. It all looked like mush now.
“Now, that will go down a little easier for you.”
I looked at Mr. Smith and he shook his head like he wanted to say something but turned his head instead.
“And what are y’all looking at? Eat your damn food!” she barked at everyone else.
I sat there humiliated eating the food that Mrs. Smith had made for me with her shoe. That was just one of the many tortuous nights for the few months of my life with the Smiths.
“Baby, we have to get some meat on your bones,” Mrs. West said, shaking me from my thoughts. She had piled my plate quite nicely with some of my favorite foods. She’d also made an alternate dish for Kayla since she was vegan. For the rest of the night, I watched enviously and a little admirably as the family interacted with one another, and the overall love that floated through the room. For a moment, I was content.