The shit with Trey had been killing me. It had been a few weeks since his funeral, but the shit felt like it happened yesterday. It was crazy because back when she was pregnant, Danni used to joke and say that I was gone be her baby’s god-daddy, but I never took that shit serious. The whole reason that Game and I were friends was because of Danni. She was arguing with her nigga one day and he was acting like he was about to do something stupid, so I intervened and walked her home, and that’s how I met Game. He was appreciative of me looking out for his sister and the rest was history.

I hit the florist so I could get her some flowers and a sympathy card since I hadn’t seen her since the funeral. I wanted to check on her to see how she was doing since she had always been like a kid sister to me, until recently. She was definitely a little extra the last time I saw her, but I would give her a pass this time.

I knocked on her door a few times but got no answer. Her car was in the driveway, so I turned the knob and it opened. The horror stories were true about the way her house looked, and I couldn’t even walk without tripping over a pizza box or something. Mario had gotten her this nice ass townhouse and she wasn’t even taking care of it. I maneuvered through the house and saw that the trash was spilling over and shook my head. I was beyond disgusted when I took out the trash and some shit fell on my shoes. I hurriedly took it outside and tried to calm myself down before I went upstairs to see Danni.

I just hated dirty shit and Kayla was so clean, so I didn’t know where Danni got the dirty shit from. I walked up the stairs and found it was just as dirty up there as where I had just come from. I was glad that the kids were with Kayla and her mom because they did not need to be in all this filth. Danny laid on the bed with her back facing me and I could hear her sniffling. I walked around to her and she turned over on the other side. I could tell she had been crying and not getting any sleep from the huge black rings around her eyes.

“Danni, I know you’re going through it right now and you think shit won’t get any better, but it will baby girl. I didn’t come here to worry you, but I’ma just sit with you for a little while. We don’t even have to talk.”

I cleared the seat next to her bed and just sat with her. I couldn’t imagine what she was going through. I’d never lost anyone this close to me in my life and I would die behind my baby girl. I thought it was too early for Danni to get over it, but she still had two kids that she had to look after. We couldn’t let the same outcome happen with them so I would help her get back to being the person that she once was.

Back in the day, Danni was legit my best friend, outside of her brother. We had become cool with me being at their crib all the time; you know, shit sort of just blossomed with our friendship. I used to talk to her ‘bout the janks I was messing with and she had me beating chicks up behind her. What she didn’t know was I was feeling Kayla. Back in the day, Kayla was the little geeky girl with glasses who stayed in the house reading books. When she was sixteen I was nineteen, so I wouldn’t dare try her, but I had my eye on her, and the older she got, the more she bloomed. Soon, all the niggas in the hood were on her with her lemon-colored skin, petite body and the tiny freckles that were beautifully placed on her face. I ran all them niggas away.

I sat in silence with Danni while she cried softly. I wanted to somehow soothe her and make her pain go away, but I knew that that was not possible. It would be a long road for her, and she would have to forgive herself and learn from her mistakes.

“Why Fu?” I heard her say softly. “Why did MY son have to do that?”

I didn’t even know what to say.

“I don’t know Dan. He wasn’t happy here.”

“I will tell you why.” She was now sitting up, eyes bulging out of her head, looking at me.

“He did it because he had a selfish ass mama. It was me! You can say it. It was me!” She beat on her chest while saliva flew out of her mouth.

“Come on Danni, don’t say that,” I started.

“Say what? That my son hanged himself in my motherfucking bathroom? That bathroom right there?” She pointed to the bathroom behind me.

“My baby hanged himself right from that shower rod. How am I supposed to sleep here when my son killed himself five feet away from where I lay my head?”

I just shook my head. I really had no idea of what to say.

“Fu, I just want to feel better!” she cried.

“Things are going to get better Sis. Trust me!”

I walked up to her and took her in my arms like a loving big brother would do. I was used to street shit like shooting niggas and rolling dice, but I was not familiar with this type of stuff. For a moment, I just stood there holding her while she sobbed into my new Givenchy hoodie.

“We gone get through it, Sis.”

Danni lifted her head and looked at me before stepping back and dropping down on her knees. At first, I thought she dropped something until she started to tug at my belt. I swatted her hand away so damn fast.

“Yo! Fuck is up wit’ you!” I stepped back from her and she looked up at me all childlike. “Don’t just look. What did you think you were about to do?”

“I just wanted you to make me feel better.”

“Danni, I know you just lost your son, but that is no excuse to be on this bullshit you’re on, because you tried this shit before. Tighten up man.”

It was like I was speaking to a brick wall or something. She got up and walked up to me trying to grab my face to kiss me.

“Yo, you smoking dope or something? Move before I hurt yo’ lil’ ass.”

I tried not to take the frustration I was feeling out on her, but I still ended up pushing her ass on the bed and walking out.

“Don’t say shit else to me either, Danni.”

I drove home so taken aback at the way she’d acted and now I had to figure out how I was gone tell this shit to Kayla, or if I would even tell her at all.