AN HOUR LATER, thoroughly licked and rather lazily spanked – (‘I’m saving myself for later, yeah?’) – Jenna made her way through the press phalanx to her car.
Everybody had a question for her, about the return of Deano Diamond. Nobody was asking about Jason and his amazing art show.
She ignored them all and drove away at speed, almost running over the foot of an over-eager camera man.
Twenty minutes out of Bledburn, she parked up at a local beauty spot and took out her mobile phone. She turned it over and over in her hand, then looked over her shoulder. There were other cars, stationary at the top of the lane that led to the little viewpoint. Press. Following her.
She couldn’t possibly let them follow her to the sex shop.
She’d told Jason this would happen, but he’d been dismissive.
‘You can lose them, can’t you? They’re not fucking MI5.’
He’d thought she was making excuses. Perhaps she was. All the same, she wasn’t going to risk it. But she didn’t want to disappoint Jason either.
She stared long and hard at the phone, took a deep breath and began to dial.
‘Hi, Kayley,’ she said, her voice unnaturally high when the call was answered. ‘How are you? Good. Look. This is a slightly unusual request, but I was wondering if you could help me …’
Some time later, after Jenna had driven around the Bledburn ring road about fifty times, her phone beeped and she began to make her way back to the beauty spot where she had agreed to meet Kayley.
The press cars had given up somewhere around her fourth revolution of the circuit, so she was unobserved as she parked on the bumpy gravel and looked out over the vista of rolling hills and fields, with the Bledburn lakes – once huge, open-cast coal mines – shimmering an unearthly silver in their midst.
Ten minutes later, her reverie was interrupted by Kayley’s beaten-up little Micra crawling towards her.
Her heart sped up. This had been the right thing to do, hadn’t it? Kayley had sounded unfazed on the phone and, with her past of attending Harville’s deviant sex parties, Jenna had calculated that she wouldn’t be too shocked. All the same, it was a dreadfully embarrassing request to have to make and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to look her assistant in the eye.
Still better than having your photo on the front page with a butt plug, Jen, she told herself.
Kayley appeared at the window, grinning and holding up a plain paper bag.
Jenna opened the door.
‘Get in,’ she invited. ‘All OK?’
Kayley slid in and handed over the bag. Jenna couldn’t bring herself to look inside.
‘No probs,’ said Kayley. ‘Got what you asked for. I hope you don’t mind, but I had to get Dad to drive me into town and back. Had a drink at lunchtime, you see.’
‘You … oh God.’ Jenna twisted her neck to Kayley’s car and saw a middle-aged man sitting behind the wheel, smoking placidly as he looked over the view. ‘Oh God, Kayley. You didn’t tell him …’
Kayley giggled. ‘Chillax. I didn’t tell him what I was going to town for, and he didn’t ask. He nipped to the bookies while I was, uh, taking care of business. Honestly, he’s sound, Jenna. Don’t panic.’
‘OK,’ said Jenna, trying hard to calm herself. ‘OK. Thanks. I really appreciate it.’
‘It’s fine. Didn’t Jase tell you, Mia used to work in that shop? I knew the girl behind the counter. She didn’t think anything of it. She knows what we’re like in Bledburn.’ Kayley winked then laughed carelessly.
She knows what I’m like, thought Jenna, her face heating. Kayley knows what Jason’s like too. It’s what she expects of us.
‘Yeah, well, job done,’ muttered Jenna. ‘I’ll let you get on.’
‘Yeah.’ Kayley drew a breath, hesitating.
Jenna turned to her, frowning.
‘Did you want something?’
‘I …’ Kayley bit her lip. ‘I don’t know whether to tell you this or not.’
‘What?’ Jenna was seized with anxiety, visualising her sex life splashed over the headlines. Or worse. Was it to do with Harville?
Kayley smiled sheepishly. ‘My boozy lunch earlier? Was with Deano Diamond.’
‘What?’ For a lust-soaked hour or so, she had been able to completely forget the sudden reappearance of her ex-husband. Now all the annoyance flooded back.
‘Yeah. Sorry. I mean, not sorry, I can have lunch with who I like, but just … thought I’d better tell you.’
Jenna thought hard and fast.
‘I suppose he knows you’re my assistant? And he’s been trying to get you on side? Is that it? Has he been hassling you, Kayley?’
‘Well, no, it was a coincidence that we bumped into each other, but, yes, he did talk about you.’
Jenna sighed.
‘It’s OK. You know I’m loyal, don’t you? I wouldn’t tell him anything you wouldn’t want him to know. I just said you and Jason were serious, when he asked.’
‘Good,’ said Jenna. ‘It’s good you told him that.’
‘But …’ Kayley said softly. ‘I did promise him I’d ask you about taking part in his documentary.’
Jenna stared bleakly through the windscreen. She knew from frantic calls from her PA in London that fielding Deano’s people’s requests for her participation in this had become a full-time job for her. The lines had been red hot for the last twenty-four hours.
‘I’ve told them I’m busy,’ she said. ‘I really don’t want to work with Deano, at least until this sabbatical year is over. I came here for peace. He can make his bloody film next year, can’t he? Bledburn isn’t going to melt in the meantime. And neither am I.’
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said Kayley slyly. ‘You might.’
Jenna’s hand closed around the paper bag, then dropped it. A shot of shame, mixed with lust, interrupted her ire. Yes, Jason might melt her. Kayley had good grounds for thinking so.
‘Well, even if I do, I’m not having anything to do with his self-glorifying biopic until I decide I’m ready,’ she said tartly.
‘Did you know he’s taken over the talent show?’
‘He’s what?’
Kayley bit her lip.
‘Yeah. He’s just given a press conference at the youth club. Going on about giving something back to Bledburn. Pretty much your reasons for doing it, if I remember.’
‘The cheeky …’ Jenna broke off, inarticulate with annoyance.
If she was thinking clearly, she would have admitted to herself that this was almost a relief, in a way. She’d never wanted to do the talent show. Her idea was to invest in some decent recording equipment for the youth club – then Lawrence Harville had taken over with his Bledburn’s Got Talent nonsense.
This occurred to her with a horrible sickening thud.
‘Is Harville still involved?’
Kayley nodded mutely.
‘How could he? He hates the Harvilles! He’s a bloody hypocrite and a … a … a … turncoat.’
‘But to be fair,’ Kayley interposed gently, ‘he still really hates Lawrence Harville and wants him off the project. In fact …’
She blushed and Jenna’s eyes widened.
‘In fact what?’
‘In fact, he rescued me from Harville. I was trapped in the youth club, about to get caught, and Deano let me make a quick getaway in his car.’
Jenna stared.
‘What the hell were you doing on the estate? Kayley, you promised you were going to stay out of danger.’
‘I know, I never meant to end up there. Just … I needed some air, and I was taking a walk when I noticed something going off by the youth club. TV vans and all. I couldn’t resist … Yeah, I know it was stupid, OK? It won’t happen again.’
‘Damn right it won’t,’ said Jenna. ‘You’re moving into the Hall with us tomorrow. No arguments. I can’t lose my right-hand woman, can I?’
Kayley smiled, then looked down at the paper bag. ‘Won’t that cramp your and Jason’s style?’ she asked.
It was Jenna’s turn to blush.
‘Sorry,’ said Kayley, letting a suppressed giggle into the awkward silence. ‘You’ve got enough bedrooms that it shouldn’t matter. I’ll sleep in the attic if you want.’
‘That’s Jason’s studio. It’ll have to be one of the first floor rooms. Don’t worry, we’ve got loads. They all need a good remodelling, but they’re liveable, now the damp’s been sorted out.’ She was silent for a moment. ‘Damn Deano,’ she said. ‘Why did he have to do this? Everything was almost going so well.’
‘I know it’s a pain for you,’ said Kayley, ‘but he’s not breaking the law. He’s entitled to visit his home town, isn’t he? If you ignore him long enough, he’ll go away.’
Jenna put a hand on Kayley’s elbow.
‘Yes,’ she said, her smile warmer now. ‘You’re right. Deano can’t stand being ignored. He’ll be craving the LA limelight within a few days. Let’s ride this storm through, shall we? Oh dear. I think your dad’s fallen asleep. I’d better let you go. But there’ll be a taxi at your door first thing tomorrow, so be packed and ready.’
‘Yes, ma’am,’ said Kayley, with a mock salute.
Jenna watched her scamper back to her car, smiling at the way her hood fell off her head to reveal a painfully tight ponytail.
As disguises went, it wasn’t the best. It was how her old friends – and new enemies – all knew her. They weren’t aware of the new, groomed version of the former youth worker.
But now somebody else was. Her ex-husband, the rock star and perfidious idiot, Deano Diamond.
Jenna started up the car, the revving engine letting out the growl she was feeling at the back of her throat.
He could stay the fuck away. And that was that.
‘I baked a cake, see.’ Linda Watson removed a Tupperware lid from a tray.
Jenna tried not to laugh. Great British Bake Off material it was not. It was more like something off the Cake Wrecks website.
Two misshapen, unmatched layers of burnt sponge sandwiched an off-white substance that could have been cream or horseradish sauce. On the top was written in wobbly blue icing ‘Happy Birtday Our Jase’.
‘You missed out the H,’ said Jason. ‘Off of birthday.’
‘Did I? Oh shit,’ said Linda, peering closer. ‘Sorry, love. I didn’t notice. Glass of wine for the chef?’
‘One,’ said Jenna, going to the fridge. ‘Then I’ve made a lovely birthday punch.’
‘Non-alcoholic,’ said Jason, with a meaningful look at his mother.
‘If a mum can’t toast her lad on his thirtieth birthday, what’s the world coming to?’ Linda objected.
‘Come on,’ said Jenna, trying to create a distraction. ‘Let’s bring this gorgeous cake into the dining room. The table’s all laid up. I’ve done a buffet.’
‘Did it yourself, did you?’ asked Linda, walking into the as-yet-undecorated dining room. The table was decorated enough for the whole room, though, dressed in silver and fine linen with all manner of delicious treats spread over the cloth.
‘Well, no. Caterers. I’m not much of a cook, to be honest,’
‘Fancy our Jase having a catered party,’ said Linda. ‘There’s posh.’
She sat down, chugging at her wine glass.
‘Fancy our Jase having a party at all,’ said Jason, not without a trace of bitterness.
‘You know how I was fixed.’ Linda’s voice took on the familiar self-pitying whine.
‘You could have sued for child support,’ said Jason, raising the issue that had kept its ugly head low for the first polite half-hour of the gathering. ‘Off His Nibs Harville.’
Linda put her glass down and looked towards the door, as if seeking escape.
‘I’ve explained all that,’ she mumbled. ‘He would’ve took you off me.’
‘Well, maybe it would have been for the best,’ said Jason.
‘Jason!’ exclaimed both women.
He shrugged, his face dark and haunted for a moment, then he waved a hand.
‘OK. Sorry. This is meant to be a party, I get it. No home truths. All happy and smiley.’ He bared his teeth in a savage grin. ‘Will this do you?’
‘We just want to celebrate thirty years of your life,’ said Jenna gently. ‘Because we love you.’
‘Thirty wasted years,’ he muttered, then he softened, turning to Jenna. ‘Here’s to being reborn at the age of thirty. New beginnings.’ He raised his glass.
The women echoed his toast, although Linda looked uncomfortable, her eyes lowered to the table.
‘Are we sitting comfortably?’ said Jason, with a devilish grin in Jenna’s direction. ‘Then let’s begin.’
The ‘sitting comfortably’ phrase brought a consciousness of something other than Jason’s neglected childhood and possible parentage back into Jenna’s mind.
She squirmed without thinking, feeling her silk-clad bottom shift against the velvet upholstery of her chair. Something moved inside her. She flooded with the knowledge, and the giddy shame that brought with it.
Earlier, when dressing for dinner, Jason had insisted on inspecting the contents of the paper bag on the bed.
‘Not bad,’ he said, turning it over in his hand. ‘Nice little one. Should do the job. You’ll know it’s there, but it won’t be too uncomfortable.’ He put it down. ‘So tell me, how did the shopping trip go?’
Jenna continued to straighten her hair at the dressing table, staring fixedly at her reflection.
‘Embarrassingly,’ she said, searching her mind for a quick change of subject. ‘I spoke to Kayley earlier. Said she’d heard the talent show was still on, and Deano had taken over.’
This was enough to divert Jason’s mind from its filthy course.
‘Let him get on with it,’ he growled. ‘You’re better off out of that one, love.’
‘I know. Especially as Harville is still involved.’
‘Just rise above it. We don’t need to have anything to do with any of it.’
‘I know. Are you going to shower? You’ve been in that garden all afternoon.’
‘Yeah, just …’
Jason, successfully distracted, headed off in the direction of the en suite.
Jenna put down her straighteners and went over to the bed.
If she was going to do this, it needed to be now, before Jason was around. She wasn’t having him watching – or worse, offering to help.
She waited until she could hear the water splashing on to the cubicle tiles, then took her purchase in hand. Yes, it was blessedly small and nicely tapered, with a flange at the end to keep it in position. She would still need lubricant, though.
She took a bottle from Jason’s bedside drawer, then went to the long pier glass, considering how this was to be done. She tried to reach a pose that would allow her to see her bottom as she worked, but it just wasn’t possible. She wouldn’t be able to see what she was doing, and would have to rely on its feeling right.
She got on to the carpet on all fours and flipped the lower portion of her short kimono robe up, baring her bottom. Instantly, she felt vulnerable and tense. Although she knew she could accommodate the plug – because Jason had showed her enough times how easy it was to slide a finger or two inside – her brain still insisted the space was too small, too tight.
But she slathered the little rubber toy in clear lubricant until it shone, then held it up to her face.
‘OK, friend,’ she said to it. ‘Here we go. Take it easy on me. Sorry if it’s a bit dark.’
She giggled at her personification of the thing, then reached around to push it between her cheeks. It glided in, encouragingly frictionless, and she moved it around until she found the target area.
She breathed in and out a few times, concentrating on relaxing her muscles, then pushed. She couldn’t do it.
She couldn’t put a butt plug in her own bottom. It was just too much to ask.
But if I don’t, Jason will do it for me.
The thought was enough to spur her on to a second attempt.
This time she almost made some progress, feeling the tight ring give a little, but at the last moment she tensed again, closing up against the intrusion.
‘Damn,’ she muttered. Was there an easier way to do this?
She pondered the alternatives. What if she just put it on the floor and sat on it, in one move.
It seemed a brutal method and susceptible to going badly wrong. She would probably misdirect her aim and end up damaging the tender inner skin of her bum crack. No thanks.
After all, this was probably the only sensible way to do it. But why couldn’t it be easier? Couldn’t she take some kind of muscle relaxant before insertion?
Jason’s voice could be heard, singing some kind of drinking song.
He could be out any minute. No, there was only one thing for it.
She re-lubed the plug, squeezed her eyes shut, lined the toy up ready for the big push forward and …
It nearly killed her not to expel the thing halfway, but she made one forceful lunge and it slid inside, stretching her mildly but noticeably, until it was seated.
‘I did it,’ she whispered in triumph, tightening her muscles around it to make sure it was really in there. She patted the flange, to reassure herself that there was no chance of losing the damn thing, and ran her palm over the curve of her buttocks.
Now it was in, she felt eager and dirty and excited. She wanted Jason to come out and inspect her, to make sure she had obeyed his order, then bend her over the bed and fuck her hard.
But she knew he was saving himself for later, so she was quick to get her dress and stockings on. No knickers – they were forbidden tonight. Jason wanted the only barrier between her occupied back passage and her chair to be the light silk of her tissue-thin maxi dress.
She tried not to show her excitable flush when he came out of the shower, but Jason never missed such signs and he grinned broadly as he towelled his hair.
‘Ready steady, are we?’ he said.
‘Maybe,’ she replied, looking away.
‘Sounds like I’d better check.’
He threw down the towel and strutted in his robe towards Jenna, who felt like prey when she saw the look in his eyes. His palm slid over her silk-clad bottom, stroking it all over before homing in on the area in question. One knuckle pressed against the hard rubbery base of the plug, then knocked gently. Tap tap tap.
Jenna felt mild shock waves pass through her. They turned within microseconds into the burn of pure arousal. That was unexpected. She felt like crossing her legs and falling on the bed.
‘How does it feel?’ whispered Jason.
‘Weird,’ she managed to whisper back.
And now she was sitting on it at a beautifully dressed table while Jason bickered with his mother over whether she should have a second glass of wine.
It wasn’t really what she’d had in mind for this sabbatical.
‘What was he like?’ asked Jason, once the cake had been cut and distributed after the meal. ‘Harville, I mean. Apart from a bastard, which we all know.’
Linda swallowed, looking with dismay at the dry sponge on her plate.
‘He were all right,’ she said, slightly defiantly. ‘All charming when he wanted to get my knickers off. After that … well, I’ve told you. He didn’t want to know me.’
‘And you definitely never shagged anyone else about the same time?’
‘No, honest, love. Tell you the truth, being the silly cow I was, I thought I were in love with him. I had delusions of being lady of the manor. Big wedding in the papers and all that.’
‘’Cos that’s always happening to sixteen-year-old majorettes from the estate,’ said Jason, but the sneer was half-hearted. He sounded profoundly sad.
‘I told him I loved him. That was the night he dumped me.’
‘Oh, what a dickwad,’ said Jenna, then, when Jason and Linda looked at each other with mild bemusement, ‘Sorry, I guess that’s an Americanism?’
‘I guess. We get the gist, though,’ said Jason.
‘Broken-hearted, I was. Well, you can imagine.’ Linda held out an empty glass hopefully to her son, who shook his head. She shrugged and continued. ‘Until I found out I was expecting. I knew it wasn’t exactly good news on the face of it, what with me being fresh out of school with no job and no money, but I was so happy. My little lord or lady, inside me, where nobody could get at him or her. Summat of my own at last, to love me and be loved. ’Cos you know what your nan was like, Jase.’
‘Just about.’
‘I know you were only little when she died, but she wasn’t much cop. And your granddad was handy with his fists. To both of us. You and me, though – that was going to be different.’
She sighed, tears in her eyes.
Jenna reached over and rubbed her shoulder. Even Jason’s habitual anger seemed to calm.
‘I could have got rid of you, you know,’ said Linda.
‘So you kept telling me.’
‘It would have been the sensible thing. Everyone said so. But I couldn’t. There was no way I could …’
Her voice cracked and Jenna cradled her for a moment until the shuddering of her shoulders stilled.
‘I wanted you so bad, Jase. And when you were born, I was that happy … But it was much harder than I thought it would be. Much, much harder. I got post-natal depression and …’
‘OK,’ said Jason, the sting finally out of him. ‘Don’t beat yourself up, Mum. I know.’
Linda dried her tears on a napkin.
‘He’s dead now anyway,’ she said. ‘No point going on about it, is there?’
‘Not really.’ Jason leant forwards. ‘Look, promise me you won’t tell anyone else. I don’t want it getting out. I especially don’t want Lawrence Harville hearing it. Do you promise?’
Linda nodded. ‘It’s our secret, then?’
‘Our secret.’