‘YOU DID WHAT?’
Jason turned from his frescoes, to which he had retreated while Deano was in the house, and gave Jenna a look that combined astonishment, confusion and outrage in one wide-eyed package.
‘Well, what else could I have done? She betrayed me.’
‘Betrayed you?’ Jason put his brush in a water jar and ran paint-streaked fingers through his hair. ‘Jenna, I’m only here now because of her. Because of the brave, unselfish thing she did for us.’
His words took the hot wind out of Jenna’s sails.
How could she have forgotten that? How had her privacy and her need to avoid Deano have come before the great debt she owed Kayley?
She tried to justify herself. ‘Well, she just did what was right. She just stopped doing what was wrong. Everyone would have done the same.’
Jason shook his head.
‘They fucking wouldn’t. As far as I’m concerned, that girl is number one on my guest list for life. She deserves it.’
‘But she was … colluding … with Deano.’
‘Oh yeah? Got proof, have you?’
‘She told me she’d been on the phone to him earlier today. She invited him here! I can’t trust her.’
‘Jen, she’s allowed to take phone calls from whoever she likes. And she probably didn’t even want him to phone. He’s probably been pestering her just as badly as his PR people have been pestering yours. Did you even let her give her side of the story?’
‘I was angry. And why should I believe what she says when she … she …’
‘When she’s been so truthful in the past?’
‘She told the truth once, after lying for months. Who’s to say she’s changed that much? You can take the girl out of the estate …’
‘Oh, fuck off! Listen to yourself!’
Jenna felt her face burn. She knew that had been a low thing to say, but somehow she couldn’t seem to let go of this paranoia, and it had the upper hand of her.
‘So,’ she said in a low, barely controlled voice, ‘you’re saying that Kayley is more important to you than I am?’
‘Don’t be a dick, Jen.’ He picked up his cat, as if he needed it as a shield, tickling it under its ears. ‘I’m not saying that. But what I am saying is that, until you pick up that phone and give that girl her job back, I don’t want to know you.’
Jenna’s head was a deafening noise of conflicting options. Admit she’d acted in haste? Burst into tears? Run into Jason’s arms? Swallow her pride?
But her pride was like a lump of hot ash in her throat; unswallowable. She was still too angry, too hurt.
‘I guess I’ll see you later then,’ she said hoarsely, and she left the attic.
‘Jen, don’t …’
Jason’s voice in its exasperation floated after her, but she stomped down the back stairs with miserable determination.
She had done nothing wrong. She’d fired plenty of people for much less. It was Jason, with his estate code of ‘look after your mates’, who was at fault.
There was no way she was stewing around the house all day, waiting for Jason to come downstairs and speak sense. He could get knotted.
She switched off her mobile, picked up her handbag and headed for the car. If she wanted to look into those old parish records, now seemed like a very good time for it.
Some hours later, she was thoughtful at the wheel. So thoughtful that she sat at a red light long after it had turned green. Only the impatient honking from behind her brought her back to herself.
What she had found out at the county archive was potentially immense news.
She wasn’t even sure she could tell Jason. Would he want to know? Almost certainly not.
The spat with Kayley was a long way back in her mind now. Even Deano hadn’t featured in her consciousness for hours.
So she was almost surprised when she walked into the kitchen and found no Kayley, sitting at the table with her notebook, looking at spreadsheets with a mug of tea to hand.
The memory hit her like a sledgehammer.
Oh.
God, she had been completely over the top. Jason was right. Kayley was their friend, and at heart she was loyal to a fault. If she’d been sucked in by Deano, she was hardly to blame for it. More sophisticated people than Kayley fell prey to his manipulations and charms every day of the week.
She went to the wine rack, took out a bottle of Jason’s favourite red, and headed upstairs with two glasses and a corkscrew.
‘Pax,’ she said, entering the attic and holding out her peace offerings, but she was stopped in her tracks by the progress he’d made on his history of Bledburn fresco. It was finished. ‘Wow.’
‘What’s stuffing mix got to do with it?’ asked a yawning Jason, who had been asleep on the manky old sleeping bag she’d somehow never been able to bully him into throwing out. The cat was lying on his chest, purring away.
Jenna laughed. ‘I said pax, not Paxo. It means, let’s call a truce. Jason, this is just … well, I don’t use the word much because it’s overdone these days, but in this case it really does apply. It’s awesome.’
‘Cheers. I’m quite chuffed with it myself.’ He sat up, dislodging Bowyer, who mewed and gave him a dirty look. ‘What’s the wine for …? Oh yeah. I remember now.’
‘Are you still talking to me?’
‘Depends. Have you called Kayley?’
‘Not yet. But I’m going to. Let me have a bit of Dutch courage first.’
‘Fair enough.’ Jason took the corkscrew and loosened the cork. ‘Come to your senses, then?’
‘When Deano turned up this morning, it really threw me. I know I overreacted. I’m just so … He makes me feel really threatened, you know?’
She poured wine into the glasses and handed one to Jason.
‘Yeah, I know,’ he said dryly. ‘But I don’t really get why. What can he do to you?’
‘Objectively, I know he can’t do anything, apart from silly games with the press and so on. But I suppose … it’s the weight of the past. It’s all the baggage we share. It’s so heavy, Jason. Twenty years’ worth of it. It’s oppressive.’
Jason gave her a half-hearted smile. ‘Will you be saying that about me in twenty years’ time?’
She laughed, choking slightly on her first mouthful of wine.
‘In twenty years? You’ll be fifty.’
‘Yeah. I reckon I’ll be a proper silver fox. And you’ll be one of those women nobody can guess the age of ’cos she’s so, like, timeless and shit.’
‘Oh God, I’ll be pushing sixty. Saga time.’
‘I always liked those Saga ads on telly. I wouldn’t mind cruising the rest of my life away, if I had the wedge. Shall we do that, Jen? You and me. Just cruise around the world, playing bowls on deck?’
‘You’re daft, you are,’ she said fondly, trying and failing to imagine Jason as a distinguished older gent in pristine chinos and shirt.
‘Yeah, but at least I don’t go around firing people for nowt.’
‘I know, I know.’
‘What made you come to your senses, then?’
‘A bit of time and space, I suppose,’ said Jenna, reflecting. ‘I just needed to calm down. There’s something about Deano that makes my blood boil.’
Jason turned his face away for a moment.
‘With anger,’ Jenna added hastily, then wondered if she should have done. It should go without saying, surely.
‘Pretty strong reaction,’ said Jason, staring ahead.
‘I can’t help it!’
‘No. But, y’know … I can’t help wondering sometimes …’
Jenna put down her glass and put her hands in his, holding them tightly.
‘Jason,’ she said. ‘I’m never going back to him.’
‘Good,’ he said. ‘Perhaps it’s time you both started acting like grown-ups around each other then.’
She nodded, taking the criticism to heart.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Well, I will if he will.’
Jason tutted, rolling his eyes.
‘Playground talk,’ he said. ‘Be the bigger person, Jen. Be cool around him. It’ll wind him up no end. This way, with you going off like a rocket every time you set eyes on him, he thinks he’s still in with a chance. Do you get me? Like, there’s still passion there or whatever. Just be cool and polite and he’ll back off. I bet you.’
Jenna leant her head on his shoulder.
‘You’re not just a pretty face, are you?’ she said.
‘Oh, I’m a lot more than that,’ he said, reaching around to tickle her neck. ‘And you know it.’
They sat there, wrapped up in each other, quiet and calm after the storm, enjoying the sheer togetherness of the moment.
‘So,’ said Jenna, sitting up and retrieving her wine. ‘The fresco is finished. And bloody amazing it is too. What’s your next project?’
Jason took a long glug of wine then turned to her with a crooked smile.
‘You,’ he said.
‘Me? You mean that sketch you were doing?’
‘Oh, more than that. A lot more than that. I’ve got plans for you, madam.’
A pleasurable shiver started at the nape of Jenna’s neck and fluttered downwards.
‘What sort of plans?’
‘I had this idea for a series of portraits,’ he said. ‘Erotic portraits.’
‘You’re not doing pornographic pictures of me!’
‘Don’t be so narrow-minded, Jen. It’s not porn. It’d be art.’
‘Oh yes, that’s what they all say.’ She put down her glass and hugged her arms around her body, as if in defence of it.
‘Well, thanks a lot. You think I’m some low class tits and fanny merchant. Great. Nice one.’
‘No, I don’t,’ she said, opening herself up again. ‘I don’t think that. But Jason – I can’t … My image! I’m not some professional life model, am I? I’m a person with a high public profile.’
‘You think it would hurt your public profile, if people knew you liked sex? Why the fuck should it?’
‘Because you know what it’s like out there. I wouldn’t get a moment’s peace for the rest of my life. The pictures would be referenced in every single interview, every single profile, every single silly paragraph about Talent Team forever more.’
‘So? Let them have their smutty fun. Who cares what dicks like that think anyway? And when did I say I’d exhibit them?’
Jenna took a breath, her fears suddenly falling away.
‘You mean, you wouldn’t?’
‘No. I’d keep them for myself. They’d be my undiscovered masterpiece, a little treat for the world for after we’re both gone. I mean, you’re not going to care if people see them after you’re dead, are you?’
‘What a very comforting thought,’ said Jenna. ‘But … are you serious?’
‘Cross my heart, hope to die. Well, eventually. Sometime after I get this series painted.’
‘So when you say series …?’ Jenna picked up her wine glass to hide behind in case the answer was too shocking.
‘I want to paint you in different stages of having sex,’ said Jason.
She burst out laughing.
‘How on earth is that possible? I mean … wouldn’t you be a bit busy?’ She spluttered into her wine glass, a further thought making her giggle. ‘Unless you mean you’re literally going to get to work on my body with a paint brush. Is that it?’
‘It’s a thought,’ said Jason, undeterred. ‘I quite fancy that, actually. But no. Listen, I haven’t explained properly. I won’t actually be on you at the time. I want to do upper body and face portraits. Mainly, I want to capture the look on your face. Every time I see it, I wish I could get it on canvas and keep it forever. It’s always just that little bit different and I hate the thought of never seeing you exactly like that again. So I thought I’d try and paint it.’
Jenna sobered, more moved than she cared to admit by his words. They really sounded like something somebody deeply in love would think.
‘Just face and upper body?’ she repeated.
‘Yeah. No porn stuff, all right? Unless you want me to …’
‘Well, if it’s going to stay private, perhaps …’
‘Wicked. Another project for after this one.’ He bent to snatch a kiss from her, red wine mixing with lips and tongues.
‘So how are you going to do it, if you’re over there at the easel and I’m … not?’
‘What I want is your face, when you’re aroused, then when you come, then afterwards. Maybe a couple more in between. So I just need to capture it, get that moment, then work from there.’
‘But …’ Jenna laughed with appalled embarrassment. ‘You can’t paint that quickly, can you?’
‘I’d take a photograph, then do a sketch from it, obviously, first. And you’re right. We’d have to repeat it a few times.’
His smile was broad and unabashedly lascivious.
‘I do suffer for my art,’ he said.
She slapped the back of his hand.
‘You’re unbelievable sometimes,’ she said. ‘I wish I could see what goes on in your mind.’
‘Trust me, you don’t. We’ll get started then, shall we?’
‘Hold on. There’s something I really ought to do first.’ She took her phone from her bag and dialled Kayley’s number.
It went straight to voicemail.
‘She’s switched her phone off,’ Jenna muttered to Jason. ‘Probably too upset to take calls. Oh dear.’ The tone sounded and Jenna left a brief message of apology, begging Kayley to call her.
‘I hope she’s OK,’ remarked Jason.
‘So do I. She wouldn’t … you know … She isn’t the type to go to the papers, is she?’
‘What type’s that?’ said Jason. ‘The type that needs money. Well, since she’s just lost her job …’
‘Oh, Jason, don’t say that. She knows all kinds of things about us. I mean, she bought that bloody butt plug, for God’s sake.’
‘She what?’
Jason’s surprise at this revelation brought Jenna up short. Of course. He didn’t know about that, and she hadn’t intended to tell him either.
‘Oh … nothing,’ she said, furiously mining her mind for a plausible way to change the subject. No joy.
‘No, tell me what you mean by that. Kayley bought a butt plug for us? When?’
‘Oh God. The one we … the one from the other night.’
‘But I told you to buy it.’ Jason’s eyes were darker than ever, fixed on her so hard she had to evade them.
‘Yes, but you know what it’s like at the moment. Press everywhere. They were tailing me. I couldn’t take the risk of being followed into that shop. So I called Kayley.’
‘Talk about a personal assistant,’ he said. ‘I can’t believe you’d do that. You’re so private.’
‘Well, it’s because of that that I asked her! At least one person knowing is better than the whole country. The whole world. If only you’d given me more time, I’d have bought one by mail order. But you didn’t.’
‘Well, part of the fun of it for me was the thought of you having to put the thing on the counter and have it rung up at the till,’ said Jason. ‘You must have known that. I feel cheated now.’
‘Don’t. You had your fun, didn’t you, in the end?’
‘That’s not the point, Jen, and you know it. You lied to me.’
‘I didn’t. I just didn’t … tell the truth. A little tiny white lie of omission. You aren’t going to make a big deal out of it, surely?’
Jason stood up, slowly and deliberately, running a hand through paint-flecked hair.
‘Well, I don’t know,’ he said, looking down at her. ‘I understand why you did it, sure. But on the other hand, I don’t think I should let you get away with it.’
Jenna swallowed. Jason wasn’t angry – in fact, he seemed to be relishing this moral high ground. That could only mean one thing. And her bottom, tense at the thought, knew exactly what it was.
‘Jason …’
‘Should I?’ he pressed, with a dirty twinkle in his eye now. ‘Eh?’
‘I don’t see why not,’ she said, wondering how she always managed to sound like a sulky child when Jason started doing his dominant thing. It was as if he had a secret button he pushed that sent her straight back to her rebellious teenagerdom.
On the other hand, the inevitability of what was about to happen to her was exciting. It was exhilarating to have a boundary to push against, to see how far she could go before she was brought safely back into the shelter of her submission.
‘Why not, Jen?’ He held out a hand to pull her up.
She stood in his shadow and he placed a finger gently but firmly under her chin, keeping her face angled up to his.
She didn’t reply, waiting for his next words.
‘Because if I let you get away with this, what’s next? Sneaking about behind my back? Keeping secrets from me?’
‘No, I wouldn’t do that,’ she said, but a sudden recollection of what she had read in the Nottingham archive came back to stamp guilt all over her face.
‘Oh, wouldn’t you? So why didn’t you tell me this then?’
‘I just … didn’t think it mattered. Forgot.’
He held her eyes just long enough to let her know he didn’t believe her. She couldn’t hide her unease. She was a terrible liar.
‘OK, I thought you’d be disappointed,’ she admitted.
‘The truth at last,’ he said. ‘No point trying to be slippery with me, babe. I’ll always get your deepest secrets out of you. I can read your face like a painting.’
Damn his artistic literacy!
‘So you are then?’ she said. ‘Disappointed in me, I mean.’
He ran a thumb along her jawline, stroking it reflectively.
‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘I suppose I am. You weren’t honest with me, and I don’t like that.’
‘I’m sorry.’
He bent his lips to her ear.
‘You’re going to be,’ he whispered.
When he straightened up, his broad and wicked smile filled the attic room.
‘Get downstairs and get that black underwear on,’ he ordered. ‘I want you waiting for me in the corner of the bedroom with your hands behind your back. Well, what are you waiting for?’
He gave her bottom a smack, a taste of things to come.
She fled.