Lily enjoyed Sunday school and the church service, but all the while her brother’s departure was in the back of her mind.
I need to confess my anxiety to You, Father, she prayed even as they drove to the Kapaia Resort. I missed most of the sermon because things haven’t gone my way. I don’t know if I’m afraid of this new situation or angry at You that You would dare to interfere with my plans, but even if I can’t figure this out, Lord, I’m sorry. I have no right to play God.
Jeff prayed for that very thing over breakfast, so I know he’s struggling with the same issues. This is all so confusing, but You’re not surprised. Thank You for whatever Your plan is, and help me not to fight You anymore. Help me to contribute to this home for the next eight weeks—not just survive and be in the way, but be a help and an encourager.
“Are you all right?”
“I’m getting there. I had a good deal of confessing to do.”
“You too?”
“I’m afraid so,” Lily said with a sigh. “I get so sick of my sin, Jeff. I don’t know how God stands me.”
“Grace.”
“Yes, and more love than I can imagine.”
On those words, Jeff pulled off the main street and under an archway that read Aloha and Welcome to Kapaia Resort. Everything was lush and green—an amazing difference from what they’d seen along the road, where many of the fields were dry and brown.
“They must water everything.”
“Yes, they do. That’s typical of the resorts at this time of the year. When the rains don’t take care of it, they have no choice but to water to keep the grounds looking beautiful.”
Up the road, signs directed cars to several driveways, and Jeff took the one that said Private Drive. The others had said Resort Office and Gift Shop, Little Bay Restaurant, and Deliveries. Jeff’s light-blue Honda scooted past thick palms and dense bushes until it rounded a circular driveway that put the car parallel to a large two-story home.
“Here we are,” he said unnecessarily.
Lily climbed out silently and reached for her bag in the backseat. Jeff had also given her a thin garment bag to hold the things he had purchased, and he took that in his hands. Lily felt her heart pound but tried not to show her fear.
“Should I have brought them a gift, Jeff?”
“No, Lily, nothing like that is expected, I assure you.”
Lily’s face was a picture of serenity, but Jeff could see she was pale. He suspected that she was trying to be brave for him. He almost laughed, thinking that’s what he had been doing for her. He was so near exhaustion from lack of sleep and emotional disappointment that he thought he might sleep all the way to the mainland.
“Hey, Jeff and Lily! Welcome,” Evan called as the front door of the house opened. None of the family had met Lily that morning in an attempt to give other people in their church a chance to get to know her.
“Hi, Evan,” Jeff called in return.
“Come on up,” Evan invited, and Lily climbed the eight steps to a deep, covered porch. “Evan Markham,” he said by way of introduction, but Lily’s eyes were already down, even as she shook the hand he offered her.
“It’s nice to meet you, Evan,” she said, and he stared in wonder at the way she kept her lids lowered. His brother-in-law had warned the family about this, but it was one thing to hear about it and another to see it.
“Come in,” Evan invited, and Lily and Jeff entered to find the family waiting inside. Jeff introduced everyone, and before Lily knew it, Bailey was leading her upstairs to a bedroom, her brother following with her things.
“Right in here,” Bailey said, and Lily glanced up long enough to smile at her.
“This is nice,” Lily offered as she took in the white painted walls with the matching bedspread and curtains. The two nightstands, headboard, and a large dresser with a mirror were a light teak.
“This dresser is empty, Lily,” Bailey said, “and so is the closet. So please make yourself at home.”
“Thank you.”
Bailey slipped out, and Lily knew that Jeff was watching her. She turned with a smile.
“I didn’t think I would have a room to myself. I thought I might be in with the children.”
“It’s a big house.”
Lily could only nod.
Jeff was not overly pressed for time, but he could see that it would be best to keep this short.
“If you need something, Lily, just tell them.”
“I will.”
“And look the men in the eye. It’s perfectly normal here.”
She nodded, even as she forced her gaze to stay up. The habit of dropping one’s eyes did not disappear in five days. Five days! That’s all the time they had had.
“I’d better go,” Jeff said quietly, feeling as though he was deserting a child. His sister was a smart and capable woman, but Hawaii was not home. The culture she lived in was like night and day from his.
“Walk me down, okay, Lil?”
Still working not to panic, Lily only said, “Certainly.”
The house was always a surprise to newcomers. The living room and dining area were wide open to each other, with the kitchen behind a closed swinging door. The stairway rose from the center of this large living/dining area to an open hallway that led to a master bedroom and bath, five other bedrooms, and two baths. There were no rooms over what the family called the “big room,” giving a spectacular ocean view from 20-foot floor-to-ceiling windows.
The family was sitting in the living room, not exactly sure if they should join Jeff and Lily. But as soon as the two came down, Jeff rescued them.
“Thank you for everything,” he said as he went from the last step straight ahead to where the sofas and chairs were gathered in a circle. In one corner were two more sofas and a television, but the center grouping was for conversation.
“You’re welcome,” Gabe said with a smile. “Did you settle in, Lily?”
“I thought I might do that after Jeff leaves.”
“Good idea.”
As Evan had, Gabe stared in fascination with the way she kept her gaze lowered.
“I’d better get going,” Jeff said just before all the family came forward to hug him. Lily had known her brother was affectionate, but she hadn’t expected it from everyone. Letting her mind stray to this caused her to forget how quickly he was leaving. Before she was ready, they were alone on the front porch.
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell Jeff she wanted to go home, but she knew that wasn’t fair. She hadn’t even given this family a chance, and deep in her heart she knew her brother would never do anything to harm her. Nevertheless, even the long plane ride back to Kashien would have been a relief compared to watching her brother depart.
“You’ve got to ask them the questions you ask me, Lily. They won’t laugh at you.”
“Okay.”
“And work at looking at them.”
Lily’s gaze came up when she realized she had fallen back into her habit.
Jeff smiled at her, and Lily thought she would die when she saw the tears standing in his eyes.
“I won’t do anything to make you ashamed of me, Jefferson.”
A sob broke in the man’s throat.
“Oh, Lily, I would never be ashamed of you.” Even as he said it, he knew where her statement had come from. This would have been what his father had said to her in order to make her work hard and think seriously. He had to get out of there quickly, or he knew he wouldn’t make it. Stepping forward, Jeff hugged his sister and Lily hugged him back. He told her he would call her as soon as he got settled, and then he moved down the front steps.
Lily followed him and smiled as she waved him off. She stood until the car was out of sight, even moving to gain a last glimpse of his bumper as the car slipped around the curve and was gone.
The sun beating down on her was hot, but Lily felt chilled to the bone. She crossed her arms over her chest and glanced around. She felt as though she was just emerging from a strange dream.
From the window next to the front door, the Kapaias stood and watched her. Bailey felt as though her heart were melting inside of her.
“Maybe she should have gone home, Gabe.”
“Maybe” was all he could say, feeling as hurt by the scene as his sister.
It was obvious to all of them that she was in agony. They watched as she looked around a bit, not spotting them because of the sun in her face, and then sat on the bottom step, just staring in the direction Jeff had exited.
“Well, when she does come in,” Ashton put in, “she really shouldn’t find us standing here gawking at her.”
“That’s true,” Evan agreed, but it took a few more minutes before they all went on their way. Each one wanted to do something but wasn’t sure what.
Evan looked at the pain in his wife’s face and could only shake his head. When he had said Lily would be no trouble, he hadn’t counted on emotional toil. He couldn’t help but wonder what they were all in for in the weeks to follow.
Lily rushed up the porch steps and to the front door where she paused in indecision, her heart beating rapidly. She didn’t know what had come over her to be so rude as to sit outside all that time. She had no idea how long she had been out there, but such manners were inexcusable.
Not wanting to knock or be presumptuous about walking in, Lily opted to slip in quietly to cause as little disruption as possible. From the front door she couldn’t see anyone. She moved forward out of the shadows to see that the adults who had been sitting in a circle were all gone.
“Do you like Winnie the Pooh videos?”
Lily’s head turned to the sound of Peter’s voice. He was sitting over by the television.
“I don’t know. I’ve never watched Winnie the Pooh videos.”
Peter waved her over with one hand, and Lily went.
“You can sit here,” he told her.
“That’s mine,” Celia informed Lily in a nearly intelligible three-year-old way.
“No, it’s not, CeCe. She’s having a grumpy day,” Peter explained to Lily, who sat down on the far right cushion on the sofa, the seat Peter had indicated. Peter sat to the far left, and Celia was between them.
Celia gave Lily one impersonal, cross look, brow lowered and disgruntled, before popping her thumb into her mouth and going back to the video. Peter had gone back to it too. Lily watched the antics of the animated characters as well, but her eyes often strayed to the children. They were beautiful. They had inherited their mother’s black hair and eyes. Their skin looked so soft that Lily wanted to touch them.
Lily hadn’t been sitting with them for more than five minutes when Celia suddenly shifted and crawled into her lap. Lily took it in stride, figuring she had been mistaken for the little girl’s mother, but Celia looked up into her face before putting the thumb back into her mouth and leaning against her. She was looking drowsy and relaxed as a cat when Bailey joined them.
“Well, Celia didn’t take much time.”
“She was grumpy,” Peter informed his mother absently.
“We’ll talk about it later. Lily, I wanted to let you know how things work.”
“Okay.”
Bailey was having to ignore the change in her guest. With only the children and her present, Lily was looking up in complete normalcy.
“We eat breakfast and dinner together. Breakfast is about 7:15 and dinner is 6:00. For lunch we fend for ourselves, and if you miss breakfast or dinner, you also fend for yourself. We each clean our own rooms, but I have help with the kitchen and here in the big room. We also see to our own laundry. Does that all make sense?”
“Yes, thank you. Will I have some jobs to do in the house?”
“Well, nothing specific, but if you want to help at meals, that would be great.”
“I’ll plan on that.”
“Thank you. Did you get settled in?”
“Not yet. Peter asked me to join him.”
Bailey smiled at her, and Lily smiled back. She was nothing like Bailey imagined. Jeff had told them how highly educated she was, but there was nothing “bookish” about her. She was soft and unassuming, and her hold on Celia, who had fallen asleep, was very gentle.
“Do you want me to take her?”
“Only if you want to.”
“She might wake if I do.”
Lily smiled to reassure her, but at that moment, Ashton could be heard coming their way. Bailey watched as Lily’s eyes dropped, her face losing all expression.
“Hey, buddy,” Ashton said to Peter as he dropped onto the other sofa. “How much longer on your tape?”
“It’s almost done.”
“Okay, I’ll just wait to see the game.”
“Football?”
“Yeah.”
“You can see it now. That’s okay. I’ll finish the tape later.”
“You’d better go ahead and finish now, Pete, because the game will probably go until it’s time to leave for church.”
“That’s okay.”
Peter got down, popped the tape out, and gave the remote control to his uncle. His mother had been on the floor next to him, but she now moved to his seat and cuddled him close when he came back.
“Thanks, buddy,” Ashton said to him, and Peter smiled when he winked.
Ashton glanced at Lily then and found her eyes down.
“Have you watched much football, Lily?”
“No, I haven’t.”
Bailey stared at her again. Lily’s voice had sounded completely normal, not embarrassed or subservient, but she had not looked at Ashton. Bailey was thoroughly captivated.
And Lily stayed that way. With the sound of the game moving through the house, Gabe and Evan were not long in joining them, and although questions were directed to Lily, she kept her eyes down.
“So you don’t have television in Kashien, Lily?” Evan finally asked her.
“We have television in the larger cities, but not in the village where I live.”
“Look at me, Lily,” Evan ordered, and Lily obeyed.
“So how much television have you seen?”
“Well, we go to Capital City every few years, and sometimes I’ll see it in a hotel.”
She lowered her eyes again, but Gabe went next.
“And since you’ve been here? Have you and Jeff watched much?”
“Mostly the news in the evening.”
“Look at me, Lily.”
It was Evan again. He seemed the most comfortable telling her. Bailey thought Lily might be blushing just a little, but again her voice was normal when she answered his question.
Is it really that easy for her? Bailey found herself asking. Evan tells Lily to look up, and she does it?
Bailey was bothered by it so much that she planned to tell Evan that he was putting Lily on the spot. The older woman glanced again at their guest, and that’s when she saw a small drop of moisture at Lily’s temple. The air-conditioning was on. No one else was hot, but then no one else had a three-year-old in her lap.
“Here, Lily, let me take her. I can see she’s out cold.”
“Oh, thank you.”
They made the transfer easily, but Bailey was not done.
“Why don’t you head up and unpack, Lily?”
“You don’t mind?”
“Not at all.”
“What time do you want me ready for church?”
“We leave about 5:30.”
Lily nodded, excused herself, and came around the end of the sofa to move toward the stairs.
“Tell her it’s casual, Bailey,” Gabe put in quietly.
“Hey, Lily.”
The other woman stopped and looked at her briefly.
“We just go in shorts on Sunday nights. It’s very casual.”
“Oh, all right. Thank you, Mrs. Markham.”
Lily went on her way, and Bailey turned back, her eyes going to the window. The spectacular view, however, was somewhat lost on her. She could feel her husband’s gaze on her, Gabe’s too, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at them.
How could Jeff leave her here like this, Lord? I know the alternative is sending her all the way back to Kashien, but she doesn’t fit in here. How painful is this going to be? And is it worth it for a few weeks with her brother in November?
Because Bailey asked the questions in her heart, no one answered. She was left to think it through on her own and to wonder what their newest houseguest was thinking and doing right then.
Lily was so tense that her skin hurt. Trying not to think about having to be at the resort for the next eight weeks, she put her clothing away and then put the suitcase and garment bag on the top shelf of the closet. A stack of her books sat on the bed, and Lily knew if she let herself look at them, she would cry. They reminded her too much of home; they even smelled like home.
Simply keeping her mind on the business at hand, Lily put them on top of the dresser, not even bothering to straighten them. She had passed a bathroom down the hall and now left her room to use it, her movements wooden and stiff.
She had meant what she said to Jeff. She would not shame him. If she had to pretend to be happy for the next eight weeks so that his friends would not have a poor impression of her, that’s what she was prepared to do.
Evan and Bailey had a minivan. Prior to going to church, Lily had never ridden in one. She thought it smelled nice inside and found the seat comfortable. And there was so much room!
Lily set her Bible on the seat beside her—they were done at church and headed home now—and was glad that once again no one said anything about moving the children to the very last seat so she could sit further up. She didn’t want the children to be inconvenienced by her visit either.
Once the children were seat-belted inside, Evan shut the door, and Lily wondered again why Gabe and Ashton would take a separate vehicle. Had she but known it, they usually did ride with the rest of the family on Sunday nights. Gabe was nearly 6’1” and about 200 pounds. Ashton was slightly larger. If they had known Lily better, it wouldn’t have been much of an issue, but as it was, the rear seat was more comfortable if Lily or the two men were on their own.
They had barely left the church parking lot when Lily found herself in a conversation with the Lord nearly identical to the one she had had that morning. As with that morning, she had heard little of the message because her brother had been on her mind again. She confessed this and then had a little pep talk with herself.
You wanted to be a part of this family and not just survive, and that means you’re going to have to make an effort. That decided, Lily told herself to do just what Bailey had told her: fend for herself if she missed a meal. It was already 7:45, and she could tell that the dinner hour had come and gone.
Unlike the ride away from the house at 5:30, Evan took the van all the way to the garage, which gave Lily a chance to see a little more of the resort. She spotted a swimming pool and some tennis courts in the distance. She thought she might even have seen one of the guest cottages that Jeff had told her about.
She followed the family back to the house, going in by way of one of the sliding doors that looked out over the ocean. After taking her Bible to her room, she made herself find Bailey. That proved to be easy—she was still in the living room.
“Mrs. Markham?”
“Why don’t you call me Bailey?”
“Oh, all right. Would it be okay if I fixed a little something to eat?”
“Absolutely. We all snacked, but that must have been when you went up to unpack, so go make the kitchen your own.”
“Thank you.”
Lily went toward the only logical door, and when she got close enough to see through the round window on that door, she realized she had indeed found the kitchen. The sun was headed toward the horizon and filling the room with light, so Lily didn’t bother to look for a light switch. It was a wonderful kitchen, all decorated in navy blue and yellow, and large enough to work in comfortably. There were many feet of countertop.
The counter space was Lily’s downfall, or rather the contents of the counters. She didn’t know that many appliances existed. Starting with what appeared to be a small grinder, Lily began to investigate. She lifted the lid and smelled coffee.
“I wonder why Jeff doesn’t grind his own beans,” she whispered absently. “It smells so good.”
With the lid back in place, she hit the button and started at how fast the little blade turned. She monkeyed with the grinder for a time and then moved to the coffeepot itself. It was similar to but not exactly like Jeff’s, and Lily gave it a good going over.
She had just gotten to a machine that she suspected made a loaf of bread when the kitchen door opened. Lily dropped her eyes and turned from the counter.
“Is everything all right, Lily?” Bailey asked.
Lily looked up with eagerness that was not feigned.
“May I ask you a question, Bailey?”
“Certainly.”
“Does this machine make loaves of bread?”
“Yes, it does.”
“How?”
Out of habit, Bailey hit the switch which turned on the overhead fluorescent lights, came over to the counter, and showed Lily every aspect of the machine.
“And these little bars turn and do the kneading too, not just the mixing?”
“Yes.”
Lily’s intelligent green eyes came back to her. “But how does the bread rise?”
Bailey took the pan out and showed her the heating element.
“The coils warm things up enough to cause the bread to rise, and then they get very hot to bake it.”
“How long does it take?”
“About three and a half hours.”
Lily shook her head in wonder, and Bailey started to laugh.
“I’m sorry.” Lily was immediately apologetic.
“No, don’t be sorry, Lily. You’ve just made my day.”
“How did I do that?”
“Well, for a little while there, I was worried about you. But if you can get this excited over a bread machine, you’re going to do just fine.”
Lily now laughed a little too, hoping as she did that Bailey’s prediction would turn out to be true.