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Tandem Belching, Anyone?

AMAZING THINGS HAPPEN WHEN KIDS GET REALLY BORED.

We were driving from Colorado Springs to Dallas last week. That means twelve hours in the car with no TV, telephone, or e-mail. My kids went catatonic for awhile from shock and grief, then they entertained themselves for awhile by bickering, and then they got creative.

I knew they had entered the creative stage when my five-year-old said, “Look, Mom, I can burp!”

Kacie has always wanted to burp-on-demand just like her fourteen-year-old sister, Kaitlyn. (I’m hoping as she matures she’ll get some new goals in life, but for now, I guess this one’s as good as any!) Intrigued, I turned around in my seat and asked for a demonstration.

Kacie opened her mouth.

Kaitlyn, hiding behind a book, let one rip.

I started to laugh. “Interesting,” I said. “Ventriliburping.”

Suddenly I had an idea. There’s something my five-year-old can do that her big sister can’t. Kacie can whistle. Kaitlyn cannot. I told the girls my idea. They loved it!

In a few moments, Kaitlyn appeared to be whistling up a storm. It was Kacie, of course, providing the sound, but that didn’t seem to stem the gleam in their eyes.

They were thrilled with their new skills. I was thrilled with something else they had discovered, whether they realized it or not.

I said, “See, girls? You need each other. Together, you can do things you weren’t able to do on your own.”

It’s a lesson I hope they remember, because it’ll come in handy time and time again.

The fact is, some things just go smoother when you have company. Zipping up that last two inches of a dinner dress falls into that category. So does shopping for a bathing suit. Holding a garage sale is something else that begs for collaboration with a friend.

And what about whining? Whining is definitely a two-party event. I’ve tried whining to my dog, Walter, but it’s just not the same. He really doesn’t know how to comfort me. The best he knows to do is get me a biscuit, which is what he wants when he whines, but it’s just never worked for me.

So whining requires human partnership.

Laughing is the same way. Sure, it’s possible to laugh alone, but the most healing hee-haws come in tandem. When I’m hurting, it feels good to laugh. This is because, when life gets tough, we have two choices: We can cry about it, or we can laugh, and laughing is easier on the mascara. Crying makes me look like a raccoon.

So I laugh when I can. And when I can’t, I go ahead and embrace the masked mammal motif and have myself a four-hankie bawl. Crying is one of those activities that can go either way: Sometimes I cry by myself. Other times it’s healing to cry with someone who loves me.

Depression is another experience that begs for help from others. Oh sure, I’ll admit that my first reaction when I feel overwhelmed, stressed, or depressed is to isolate myself. Withdraw. Disengage. But I’ve done it enough times now to know that it doesn’t help. In fact, it only makes things worse. For one thing, there’s no one around to listen to me whine. For another thing, those doggie biscuits are starting to taste like sawdust.

The Bible recognizes our need for human companionship. Best yet, it gives lots of examples of intimate relationships. Some were based on romance. For example, God made Eve because it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. Solomon wrote passionately about his lover. Even the animals got to bring dates on a romantic forty-day cruise.

And yet intimate companionship isn’t found in romantic relationships alone. Naomi had Ruth. David loved Jonathan. The disciples traveled in pairs, reaping encouragement and strength from hanging with others who loved the Lord.

I used to think all my needs for intimacy and companionship were supposed to be met by a husband. Now I know that God brings all sorts of people into my life to help me do and be what I could never accomplish or become on my own. This is because there are so very many things I just can’t do on my own.

Luckily for everyone involved, burping isn’t one of them.