On Monday morning, Nina went about her job as a maid at the inn, cleaning the four guest rooms, which had all been booked for the weekend. Business had been steady for months now, which not only put her family in a good mood but also confirmed that their move from Wisconsin to Birch Creek hadn’t been a mistake. For a while there, they hadn’t been sure.
Nina had been homesick as well. Then she’d met Martha, and after that, Ira, and it hadn’t taken long for Birch Creek to feel like home.
Her brother, Levi, and his new wife, Selah, who both worked at the inn, made an excellent team, both as business partners and as a married couple. After helping to plan Cevilla’s wedding, Selah had switched jobs with Nina, finding her niche as a hostess and event planner. That suited Nina just fine. She didn’t want to deal with the guests. They always made her nervous, and when she was nervous, she was clumsy.
She’d spent yesterday and this morning trying not to think about Ira or continuously feel the pinch of pain in her heart because he hadn’t asked her to the singing. She hadn’t been all that successful. He was still in her mind, but at least he was at the back of it instead of consuming her thoughts. Still, she had a difficult time keeping him there. Being in love, especially a one-sided love, was tougher than she’d ever imagined.
When she finished cleaning all the rooms, she went downstairs and decided to break for a snack. She put away her cleaning supplies in the large cabinet in the mudroom, and then she walked behind the inn to the house she shared with her father, Loren, and her grandmother, Delilah. Selah and Levi lived there, too, but they were in the process of building their own house next door.
In the kitchen, Selah and Grossmammi were busy baking muffins for the guests they expected that afternoon. Check in was at three, and they were booked solid until Sunday morning. Sundays had been a concern for a while because most guests left on Sunday morning, and that was when the family attended church services every other week. Then Levi devised a self-checkout system, and his process turned out great. Their guests—many of them there to simply experience Amish Country and enjoy the peace and quiet of Birch Creek on the outskirts of the busier communities in Holmes County—had been honest.
Nina washed her hands and opened the pantry door. She sighed as she searched for the homemade peanut butter and grape jelly. When she found them both, she sighed—again.
“All right, that’s it.”
Nina spun around at her grandmother’s impatient tone. “Huh?”
“You’ve been sighing and moping since Saturday night.” She set her spoon on the spoon rest next to a bowl of batter and marched to the table. “Sit,” she said, pointing at a chair.
“Grossmutter, I—”
“Nina.” She looked at her over silver-rimmed glasses that matched the color of the hair peeking out from under her kapp. “We’re going to talk.”
Nina’s shoulders slumped as she dragged herself to the table. Her grandmother was treating her like a five-year-old even though she was twenty-two. She plopped down on the chair and set the jars on the table in front of her. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Selah and I are concerned about you.” Grossmutter pulled out a chair for herself, across from Nina. “Right, Selah?”
Selah had just put two trays of muffin tins in the oven and closed its door before setting the timer. Now she faced Nina. “Concerned might be too strong a word,” she said, wiping her hands on her apron.
“Nee, it’s not.” Grossmutter pointed to the empty chair next to Nina, and Selah dutifully sat down. Under the table she gave Nina’s hand a squeeze. Both of them knew how Grossmutter could be. She’d been haranguing Selah and Levi about having children from the minute they got married.
Grossmammi folded her hands and rested them on the table. “Now, tell us what’s wrong. And don’t say nix, because that would be a lie.”
Nina almost sighed again but caught herself. She couldn’t lie to her grandmother, especially when she was right. She did have a problem. She stared at the tabletop. “I’m just a little . . . disappointed.”
“About what?” Selah said. In contrast to Grossmutter’s, her tone was soft and encouraging, her blue eyes filled with understanding.
Nina clasped her hands together. “About . . . about . . .”
“Just spit it out, Nina.” Grossmutter tapped her plump finger on the table. “How can we help you if you won’t tell us what’s wrong?”
“Because there’s nee point,” she muttered, looking away. “There’s nix you—or anyone—can do about it.”
“Humph.” Grossmutter frowned. “I refuse to believe that. Nee problem is unsolvable.”
Nina looked at her and then at Selah, who gave her a tiny nod of reassurance. Neither one of them seemed ready to drop the subject, which gave her no choice but to tell them . . . something. But how much would she have to say?
“Well, the Yoders are planning to hold a singing soon.” She started to sigh again but held it in.
“Really?” Grossmutter’s brown eyes lit up like a birthday cake overloaded with candles. “It’s about time. There hasn’t been a single singing in this community since we moved here.”
“Most of the buwe here don’t like singing,” Selah said. “And there hasn’t been another reason to have one.”
“Nee reason?” Grossmutter gestured to Nina. “There’s a reason right here. The buwe around here need to know what maed are available.”
Nina wanted to sink into the floor. Although she was the only young, single woman in Birch Creek in her twenties, not a single man had shown interest in her. That hadn’t been a problem since she hadn’t been interested in any of them either . . . until now. But even though she didn’t want to date any of the eligible Birch Creek bachelors other than Ira, their lack of attention did bother her. Was she that unattractive and . . . not dateable? Ugh. Now she felt worse than before.
“When is the singing?” Grossmutter said, clasping her hands. “Hopefully not before we have time to make you a new dress. Is that it? You were disappointed because you didn’t have a new dress and thought no one would have time to help you make one? I do! Other than yer two Sunday dresses, all yer clothes are full of grass stains.”
“I don’t know when it is,” Nina whispered, dodging the true reason for her disappointment. “Ira didn’t say.”
“Then we have time. We’ll sew this week.” Grossmammi tapped her chin. “I probably need to take yer measurements again. Yer dresses have been looking a little tight lately.”
Nina pushed the peanut butter and jelly jars away. Her grandmother had made this comment before, more than once. That was ironic since she was more than a little plump herself. Still, Nina didn’t need to be reminded that she’d put on a bit of weight recently. Just a little. She would never be thin, but she didn’t want to burst out of her dresses either.
At least news of the singing had pushed Nina’s sighing and moping out of her grandmother’s mind. Good. She didn’t want to talk about Ira.
“Oh, I just remembered,” Selah said, jumping up from her seat. “I promised Levi I would pick up more cleaning supplies from Schrock’s Grocery. He wants more of Aden’s honey too. The guests can’t get enough of it.” She looked at Grossmutter. “Delilah, would you mind finishing the muffins?”
“Nee, but I thought we had plenty of cleaning supplies.”
“We’re out of a few things, right, Nina?”
Nina looked up at Selah, confused. Grossmutter was right. They did have plenty of supplies, enough to get them through the month. Probably through August too. But Selah’s eyes grew wide, and she gestured to the mudroom door with a quick nod of her head. “Right,” Nina said, not sure what Selah was doing but going along with her anyway.
“How about we geh together?” Selah said, walking over to Nina and practically lifting her by the elbow. “You can tell me exactly what we need.”
“Uh, sure.” Nina stood up before Selah yanked her out of the chair.
“We won’t be gone long.” Selah snatched her purse from the counter and then guided Nina out of the kitchen before Grossmutter could say anything else. Once they were outside and near the barn, Selah let out a breath.
“What’s going on?” Nina asked. “You know we don’t need more cleaning supplies.”
“I’m sorry, but I had to get you out of there. I had to get me out of there.” Selah looked at her. “I love Delilah, but she can be too much. And Levi did mention we were running out of honey. That part was true.”
“Danki,” Nina said, understanding now. She was relieved she didn’t have to listen to her grandmother talk about dresses or singings anymore. “I’ll hitch up the buggy.”
A short while later, as they were on the way to the grocery store, Selah said, “Nina, you mentioned you’re disappointed, but I don’t think it’s about a dress. Do you think the Yoders will expect you to geh when you don’t want to? I understand that. I used to dread going to those things, but at least I had Martha there with me. Then Ruby showed up and went to one of them.” She paused. “I wasn’t very nice to her back then.”
Nina couldn’t imagine Selah not being nice to anyone, but she knew what her sister-in-law said was true. She didn’t know any details other than Selah had trouble with feeling blue and that she saw a counselor. Levi had even gone with her twice. Nina respected that it was Selah and Levi’s business, though, and she never asked either one of them about it.
“Anyway,” Selah said, “I wonder why Freemont decided to have a singing now. It’s not like anyone will want to geh.”
Nina cleared her throat and stared straight ahead.
Selah looked at Nina. “You do?”
“It doesn’t matter,” she said softly. “Ira didn’t ask me to geh.”
“He didn’t? Did something happen between you two?”
“Hardly,” Nina mumbled, tightening her grip on the reins.
Selah paused for a moment, and then said, “Did you want him to ask you?”
She glanced at Selah. Why deny the truth? Maybe it was time to tell someone she trusted what was going on with her. “Ya. I did. But that’s me being stupid.”
“You’re not stupid. And I’m not surprised, honestly.”
“You’re not?”
“You and Ira spend a lot of time together.”
“As friends.” Nina guided the buggy to the next road, turning right. “Only friends.” The disappointing word stuck in her throat.
“Friendship can turn into something else. Look at mei bruder and Ruby.”
“Ya, but Ira and I are different.” I’m different. She’d known she wasn’t like typical Amish girls for years, and not just because her grandmother often pointed it out with a decent dose of chagrin. She wasn’t sweet and feminine and pretty like so many girls her age were. She wasn’t interested in cooking and sewing, either, although she knew how to do both passably thanks to Grossmutter. What would Ira see in her anyway? She was just a tomboy with thick eyebrows and an expanding waistline.
Selah chuckled. “Nina, nee two people are more different than Christian and Ruby.”
Despite her negative thoughts, Nina had to smile. Christian and Ruby were unusual, not just as a couple but each in their own right. They were their district’s schoolteachers, in charge of the two classrooms at the school. But while Ruby was extremely outgoing and lively, Christian was staid and more than a little awkward. Yet they were happy together, which was what mattered in any relationship, along with love.
Nina frowned. Happiness and love. Right now, she didn’t have either with Ira.
“Nina,” Selah said, fortunately interrupting Nina’s train of thought, “if you like Ira, why don’t you tell him?”
“It’s not that easy.” She turned to Selah. “Did you ever tell Levi you liked him?”
“Um, nee. Not right away.” Selah sighed. “You’re right. It’s not easy. But yer bruder and I had a different situation than you and Ira do. Levi was mei boss. You and Ira are already friends and on an even playing field.”
“I don’t want to ruin that.”
“But you’re unhappy with the way things are.” Selah put her hand on Nina’s forearm. “Ya?”
She couldn’t lie about that either. “Ya, I am. I don’t know what to do, Selah. I’m confused about everything.”
They rode in silence for a few minutes, Nina feeling more miserable than ever. She didn’t see a way out of this situation without a terrible ending.
Selah snapped her fingers. “I have an idea.”
“Uh-oh.” Usually when she heard those words, her grandmother was saying them, and they almost always meant bad news for Nina.
“Don’t worry, this is a gut idea. Why don’t you prepare a picnic for this Saturday?”
“I always do that.”
“I don’t mean throw a few sandwiches in an old cooler,” Selah said. “I’m talking about a proper lunch. A special lunch.”
“Why would I do that?”
“A picnic can be either friendly or romantic.” Selah had a soft look in her eyes. “You can see how it goes, and then if you feel like you can tell Ira about yer feelings for him, do. If not, then the two of you are just having a picnic as friends. Ira will be none the wiser.”
Nina’s face heated. “I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because he can’t know how I feel. That would mess up everything.”
“It didn’t mess up things between Levi and me.” Selah smiled. “I’ve always wished we would have been more straightforward with each other about how we felt. Looking back, I see how foolish it was not to discuss our feelings. We could have spared ourselves some heartache.”
Nina’s heart was definitely aching. “I don’t know,” she said as they neared Schrock’s. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“Then you’ll learn the truth. Isn’t that better than pining for him like this?”
“I wish I didn’t pine at all. Things would be so much easier if they went back to the way they were.”
“What changed?”
I did.
A car whizzed by, shaking the buggy. Fortunately, their horse wasn’t fazed. They bought him from an auction shortly after moving here, and it hadn’t taken him long to find his way around Birch Creek. Although Nina didn’t appreciate cars speeding past her, she was glad for the distraction, and she ignored Selah’s question. She said a quick prayer of thanks when Selah didn’t bring it up again.
Nina parked the buggy at Schrock’s and looped the reins over the hitching post in front of the building. When she and Selah entered the store, Selah told her she wanted to look around for a few minutes before she picked up the honey. Nina made her way to the back where the cleaning supplies were. If they didn’t return home with one or two items, her grandmother would be suspicious. Nina grabbed some toilet cleaner, which they always needed, and a sturdy scrub brush to replace the one that had seen better days.
She’d just started for the check-out counter when she saw Ira come in. Oh nee. Of all the times for him to show up. Panicked, she went to the very back of the store and hid in the garden supplies aisle. She was surrounded by tools, peat moss, fertilizer, and seeds as she ducked and peered around the endcap. She had a limited view, but if Ira came back here, she would be able to see him.
Of course, that’s exactly what he did. Her heart raced as he came closer, but there was nowhere for her to go. Grasping the toilet cleaner and brush, she made herself as small as possible as she crouched behind the endcap’s display of seeds, the hem of one of her oldest dresses grazing the floor.
Nina set the cleaner on the floor and gripped the edge of a shelf, praying Ira wouldn’t come any closer. She peeked around the display and watched him as he examined one of the two different hoes the Schrocks carried. He held the handle in his hand and looked at the metal blade. Her legs began to ache. Good grief, how long did it take to choose a hoe?
Finally, he walked away, hoe in hand. She let out a deep breath as she stood with her items, but she was afraid to move until Ira had time to make his purchase up front and leave. She’d wait.
When she saw Selah coming, holding three jars of honey in a Schrock’s handbasket, she jumped in front of the display as if she’d been looking at the seeds all along.
“He’s gone,” Selah said, chuckling. “Apparently he didn’t see you hiding from him back here.”
Nina didn’t see what was so funny, and she was annoyed that Selah had caught her. She could only pray that her sister-in-law was right, because if Ira did know she was hiding from him, she wouldn’t be able to face him again. She tucked the scrub brush under one arm and picked up a packet of sunflower seeds. “These would be pretty in the garden, don’t you think?”
“Ya, but we already have some planted, remember?” Selah took the packet from her and put it back. “Nina, Ira left the store. You don’t have to stay here.”
Nina stared at her feet, noticing for the first time that her shoelace was untied. “I’m hopeless, aren’t I?” she said as she placed the cleaner and brush in Selah’s basket before bending down to tie it.
Selah grinned. “Nee. You’re just a little scared.”
“A little?”
“Okay, more than a little. But don’t worry. We’ll work on that. I’m confident you’ll have the best picnic you’ve ever had on Saturday.”
Nina wasn’t so sure. “If I do decide to make a special lunch, hopefully you have enough confidence for both of us.”
* * *
Ira frowned as he walked home from Schrock’s Grocery and Tool. What in the world was going on with Nina? He’d seen her at the back of the store when he entered to pick up a couple of jars of Aden’s honey for Mamm. He started toward her, but when she ducked behind that display, he hovered over hoes he didn’t need just so he could secretly see what she was up to. He knew the aisle she was in had no other exit, so when she didn’t come out, he was baffled. But since he couldn’t stare at hoes much longer without looking seltsam, he finally took one and left. Then he not only had to buy the honey but that hoe.
Surely Nina wasn’t hiding from him. But other than Selah and Aden, the store was empty. Why else would she be crouching behind a display of seeds?
He reined in his thoughts. He hadn’t done anything that would cause her to avoid him. At least he didn’t think so. But as he thought about her behavior on Saturday coupled with how she’d just acted in the store, the combination concerned him. She wasn’t acting normally, and whether it was because he’d done something or something else was going on, he didn’t like the idea of her being out of sorts. Maybe he should go talk to her. Or maybe I should mind mei own business. Again, she knew where he was if she wanted to talk to him. But today, it seemed like she didn’t even want to be around him.
When Ira arrived home, he was still arguing with himself. He put the jars of honey on the kitchen counter and then went outside to work in the barn, where it was cooler. The walk to and from the store had been pleasant, but once he began cleaning out the stalls, he started working up a sweat.
Before long, his older brother Seth came inside the barn. He opened the side door, where he had pulled up a wagon full of baled hay, the second cut of the season. “Ira,” he hollered. “Can you give me a hand?”
Ira closed the door of the cow pen and set the shovel against the barn wall. He brushed off his hands and shimmied up the ladder to where they stored the hay. Seth put the gas-powered conveyor belt against the barn and then turned it on. Ira grabbed the bales as they reached the top of the conveyor and threw them to the side. Once the wagon was unloaded, Seth turned off the belt and then joined Ira upstairs to stack the hay.
Stacks from the first cut of hay were already on one side of the loft, so they stacked the newer hay on the opposite side. After a few minutes, Seth said, “I hear you’re going to take Margaret fishing on Saturday.”
Ira placed a bale on top of two others and then tilted his hat back to wipe the sweat from his forehead. “Who told you that?”
“Martha. She and Mamm and our schwesters got together at our haus last night to can green beans. I heard Mamm say Margaret’s arriving on Friday evening.”
“Sounds like you’re caught up on everything.” He grabbed another bale of hay.
“You know how the women like to chatter. Is Nina okay with it?”
Ira swung the bale on the top of the pile, which was nearly above his head now. He looked at Seth. “I don’t know. I haven’t told her.”
Seth paused, beads of sweat rolling down his face. The beard he’d started growing after he and Martha were married was a little past his chin now. “Why not?”
“I don’t understand why everyone is so concerned about me and Nina.” Ira turned his back on Seth and took a long drink from the water jug his brother had brought up to the loft.
“I didn’t say anything about you and Nina.” Seth came up behind him. “But if there is a you and Nina—”
“There’s not.”
Seth smirked, an annoying habit of his. “You said that pretty quickly.”
Ira spun around. “I didn’t get in yer and Martha’s business when you were dating, did I?”
“Oh, so you and Nina are dating.” Seth took a step backward, a sly grin on his face. “Nee wonder you’re so touchy.”
“I’m not touchy, and we’re not dating.” Ira put his hands on his waist, frustrated that his brother kept twisting his words, not to mention that Seth seemed entertained by it. “Drop it, okay?”
The smile slid from Seth’s face. “Okay.” He held up his hands, his expression serious. “Consider it dropped.”
They worked in silence for the rest of the time it took them to stack the hay. They were both a sweaty mess by the time they finished, but the task was done. The men shimmied down the ladder and into the cooler air of the lower part of the barn.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” Seth said. “I was just teasing you a little bit.”
Ira shrugged. “It’s fine.”
“It’s just that . . . well, you and Nina do spend a lot of time together. People are bound to wonder, you know?”
No, he didn’t know. “How many people are wondering about us?”
“Not too many,” Seth said quickly.
“Then those few people should mind their own business.” Ira took the shovel and went to the cow pen again. “I’ve got to finish this before lunch.”
Seth nodded, apparently getting the hint. “Talk to you later, then.”
After his brother left, Ira leaned against the shovel. It hadn’t occurred to him that anyone would be speculating about him and Nina. His friends never said anything. Then again, they’d all vowed not to get involved in any relationship after the Martha fiasco almost two years ago. Ira had been keen on her, as had many of the other men his age in the district. But that had been mostly because she was the only woman available. It had taken him a while to realize that. At the time he’d really believed he liked Martha. Good thing she’d been wise enough to put the brakes on a relationship with him. It hurt at the time, but he knew that had been more about his pride than his heart.
Now she was his sister-in-law, and he couldn’t imagine ever dating her much less marrying her. He’d kept his vow not to pursue another romantic involvement even after several available women came into the community. It all came down to trusting his own judgment. He was still a little embarrassed about how he’d made a fool of himself with Martha.
Ira thrust the shovel into the old hay and manure. That was also why he was content with his uncomplicated and comfortable relationship with Nina. He didn’t want that to change, not that it ever would. If he had his way, they’d be best friends for the rest of their lives.
He paused mid lift, his shovel filled with debris. Was he being fair? Surely Nina would want to get married one day. The thought of that twisted something inside him, and he flinched. Nina, as someone else’s wife. That didn’t sit well with him at all.
He shook his head. He was being ridiculous. Thinking about Nina in a romantic way was . . . Well, he didn’t know what it was. But he needed to stop listening to people like his brother. They were being gossipy, plain and simple.
Yet as he finished cleaning the cow pen, he couldn’t help still being concerned about Nina. Her recent behavior bothered him more than he wanted to admit. Something was going on with her, and he knew it wouldn’t leave his mind alone until he found out what it was. He just wasn’t sure how to do that.