“Phoebe was the one in the pink dress sitting between the redhead and the brunette?” Ben asked as he sat across from Kevin. They were eating their lunch in the barn with the rest of the men in the congregation.
“Ya.” Kevin sipped from his coffee cup as his mind continued to spin with the fact that Phoebe had shown up at his church service today. How had that happened? Was Dathan right that God would find a way for them if it was part of his plan? But this soon?
“Who was the brunette?”
“What?” Kevin looked over at Ben.
“The brunette.” Ben gestured with his hands. “She was wearing the yellow dress.”
Kevin blinked. “You mean the maedel sitting beside Phoebe?”
Ben leaned forward and lowered his voice. “Are you all right?”
“Ya, I’m fine.” Kevin mentally shook himself from distraction. “The redhead is her schweschder, Christiana, and the other maedel is her best freind, Suzanna Byler.”
“Suzanna.” Ben drew out her name as if enjoying the sound of it. “Is she single?”
Kevin almost dropped his cup. “You’re interested in Suzanna?”
“Just answer my question. Is she single?”
“I think so.”
Ben held up a pretzel and shook it at Kevin. “We should invite Suzanna and Phoebe to go to youth group with us today.”
“Our youth group?”
“Ya, the one you haven’t been to in a year. Let’s invite them, and then we can spend the afternoon with both of them.”
“But I told you. Freeman said I shouldn’t get close to her unless I’m sure I’m ready for a commitment. He doesn’t want me to risk breaking her—”
“Relax.” Ben leaned forward and lowered his voice again. “I know what Freeman told you, but you’ve been moping for two weeks now. If we invite them to go as a group, you can spend some time with Phoebe without Freeman worrying about it, right? I know you want to.”
Hope lit in Kevin’s chest as he nodded. He couldn’t turn down a chance to be with Phoebe. “You’re brilliant.”
“It’s about time you acknowledged that.” Ben tossed a pretzel at Kevin as they both laughed.
After the women had eaten as well, Kevin and Ben found Phoebe and Suzanna standing together near the barn. As they approached them, Phoebe’s expression brightened, and she smiled.
“Hi, Kevin.”
“Phoebe, this is mei freind Ben Zook.” Kevin gestured between them. “Ben, meet Phoebe Kurtz and Suzanna Byler.”
“Hi.” Ben shook Suzanna’s hand. “It’s really nice to meet you. I noticed you during the service.”
“You did?” Suzanna gave Phoebe a sideways look before meeting Ben’s gaze again.
“We were wondering if you’d both like to join us at our youth gathering this afternoon,” Ben said, his focus still on Suzanna.
Kevin squelched the urge to shake his head. Could Ben be a more blatant flirt?
“Your youth group?” Phoebe studied Kevin as if seeking a hidden meaning. “I thought you hadn’t gone to that in a long time.”
“He hasn’t, but I convinced him to go today,” Ben chimed in. “We’d both like you to come. We’re going to play games at a nearby farm.” He looked back at Suzanna. “You can ride with me, and then I’ll take you home.”
“That sounds like fun.” Suzanna grabbed Phoebe’s arm and gave it a tug. “Let’s go ask our parents if we can go.”
“Okay.” Phoebe’s gaze lingered on Kevin’s, and then she allowed Suzanna to steer her toward the barn.
Kevin’s heartrate launched into a gallop as excitement filled him. It was time to throw caution to the wind and get to know Phoebe. He was ready to open his heart to her. He rubbed his hands together as he imagined what it could be like to date her. Yes, he was ready, no matter the risk.
“This was a great idea,” he said to Ben.
“You said it earlier—I’m brilliant, mei freind.” Ben rested his arm on Kevin’s shoulder.
“Ya, you are.” Kevin took off his hat and spun it in his hands while he and Ben waited.
A few minutes later, Phoebe and Suzanna returned, both smiling.
Suzanna spoke first. “Phoebe’s mamm’s cousin Sally is a member of this district, and she vouched for both of you!”
“When are we leaving?” Phoebe asked.
“Right now.” Kevin’s heart seemed to turn over.
* * *
Phoebe sat next to Kevin in his buggy after she and Suzanna changed into the everyday clothes they’d brought in case they made afternoon plans. She heaved a sigh of relief as she settled back into the seat.
The sun’s rays streamed through the windshield, and she took in the lush, rolling patchwork of green pastures dotted with farmhouses, cows, and horses. It was the perfect day for an outdoor gathering, and it felt so good to be sitting next to Kevin again. But she had to caution herself not to get too attached. Not only had he not contacted her in more than two weeks, but her father’s caution that Kevin might not be looking for a serious relationship lingered at the back of her thoughts.
“I was so surprised to see you at the service.” Kevin’s words broke through her thoughts. “How did you happen to choose my church district today?”
“It’s our district’s off Sunday, and mei mamm wanted to visit the service in her cousin Sally’s district. Mamm is close with Suzanna’s mamm, and she invited that family to come along.”
She thought she heard Kevin mumble something about mysterious ways, but his words were soft, almost a whisper, and she wasn’t sure.
“What?” she asked, leaning closer to him.
“Nothing.” He gave her a sideways glance as he steered the horse down another road. “I think Ben likes Suzanna.”
“I noticed that. And I think Suzanna likes Ben.”
“Oh ya?” His dark eyebrows careened toward his hairline.
“Ya. When we went to ask our parents’ permission to come with you and Ben, she told me she was already impressed.”
“I was surprised when he asked me about her during lunch. He hasn’t dated anyone in a while, so it seemed to just come out of nowhere. I have a feeling he’ll ask her out.” Kevin shook his head as he turned down another road.
Will you ask me out, Kevin?
Phoebe suppressed the words that threatened to leap from her lips.
“This is the farm.” He pointed at a large, white farmhouse. Near it stood five red barns, and behind them she saw a white, split-rail fence surrounding a lush, green pasture. Dozens of buggies sat off to the right in an open, green field, reminding her of a herd of cows in her neighbor’s pasture. Nearby, young Amish folks played volleyball while another group stood clustered around three Ping-Pong tables where several couples played.
Phoebe’s stomach tumbled as she took in the unfamiliar faces. While she’d never had trouble making new friends, she always felt nervous visiting new youth groups.
Kevin halted the horse and then angled his body toward her. “Now, I have a serious question for you.”
“Okay.” Her body trembled as she looked into his eyes. This was it! He was going to ask her out!
“Do you want to play volleyball or Ping-Pong? Or do you want to just sit and talk?” He held up his hands. “Don’t say it’s up to me, because you’re my guest. It’s up to you.”
“Oh.” Phoebe scratched at her nose and tried to recover from the mental whiplash his questions had caused. “It really is up to—”
“Nope.” He held up a finger. “You can’t say it’s up to me.”
She glanced at the people playing volleyball and then the ones playing Ping-Pong. Playing games seemed to be the best choice since it would limit their alone time and stop her heart from craving more than friendship from him.
“Let’s play Ping-Pong,” she said.
“Great!”
Phoebe pushed open her door and climbed out of the buggy, and after Kevin settled his horse in the pasture, they walked toward the Ping-Pong tables. As they arrived, a pretty blonde squealed and rushed over to them.
“Kevin!” She waved her arms as she came to a stop in front of him, and then she wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him an awkward hug.
Kevin gave her back a half-hearted pat as his face clouded with a frown.
“Kevin Weaver! Oh my goodness! I haven’t seen you for so long. How are you?”
Kevin might not look as though he was enjoying this attention, but jealousy still pricked at Phoebe as she stared at the beautiful young woman. Not only was she at least two inches taller than Phoebe, but she had flawless, ivory skin and stunning, dark-blue eyes. Her hair reminded Phoebe of yellow tulips, and her waist was so small.
Phoebe just stood there, feeling off balance as Kevin stared at his greeter.
“Mary. Hi.” Kevin’s voice sounded flat as he fingered his suspenders. “It has been a while.”
“It sure has!” Mary smacked Kevin’s bicep. “I heard you weren’t working for Dathan anymore. Where have you been hiding, then?”
Kevin shifted his weight as his face remained stoic. “I’m working for a brick mason now.”
“No kidding! And then you’re going to finally build that haus you’ve always wanted, huh?”
“That’s the plan.”
“Gut for you.” Mary turned to Phoebe and stuck out her hand. “Hi, I’m Mary Yoder. What’s your name?”
Phoebe opened her mouth to respond, but Kevin cut her off. “This is mei freind Phoebe Kurtz. I invited her to come with me today.”
Phoebe looked up at him. Had he meant to emphasize the words mei freind? Why had she agreed to come? She should have gone home or met her friends in her own youth group. Now she knew Kevin would never be interested in her, not if Mary was an indication of what he liked in women. Obviously, they had a history together, and she was certain they’d been more than friends.
“Hi, Phoebe.” Mary’s eyes scanned her from head to toe, prompting Phoebe to cross her arms in front of her chest. Then Mary turned back to Kevin. “My family asks about you all the time. You shouldn’t be such a stranger.”
Kevin gave her a half nod.
Mary pointed to the Ping-Pong tables. “I was just about to play Ping-Pong. Remember how we used to play? We had so much fun! Would you like to be my opponent for old times’ sake?”
Kevin turned to Phoebe. “I’ll play only if Phoebe plays.”
Phoebe hesitated. Did she want to play a game with this woman?
Kevin looked back at Mary. “Give us a minute?”
“Okay.” Mary turned and sauntered toward the tables.
Kevin faced Phoebe again, and his eyes seemed to plead with hers.
“We don’t have to play. We could go for a walk or just sit and talk for a while. How does that sound?”
Phoebe fingered the hem of her apron. If only she could just leave.
Kevin sighed. “I’m sorry. Mary’s my ex-girlfriend, and I didn’t know she would be here because her family is in a different district. We can leave, if you want. We can go spend time with your family. Or with mine.”
Phoebe hugged her arms and swallowed, trying to keep her threatening tears at bay. What was the point of spending time with Kevin? How could she compete with the Marys of the world? But she didn’t want Kevin’s ex-girlfriend to think she’d forced him to leave so soon.
“It’s fine. Go play and have fun.” Her voice was raspy, but she couldn’t help it. Deep down, she was hurt.
“But you said you wanted to play.” He nodded toward the far end of the pasture, where she’d spotted Ben and Suzanna just a few minutes ago. “Forget Ping-Pong. Let’s go for a walk.”
“No, it’s fine.” Phoebe fought against the thinness in her voice.
“Kevin!” Mary’s whine carried across the breeze.
“Hey, Kevin’s back!” someone yelled.
“Come play with us, Kevin,” someone else called.
“We’ve missed you, buddy,” a third chimed in.
Kevin kept his eyes focused on Phoebe despite his friends’ request. “I don’t have to play with them. Why don’t we go do something else?”
“Really, I don’t mind.” Phoebe forced a smile on her lips. “Now that we’re here, I’d rather watch everyone play than play myself.”
Kevin reached for her, but then he pulled back his hand, his lips forming a thin line. “All right.”
Phoebe sat on the grass near the Ping-Pong tables, wondering how much longer she’d have to endure this outing. She looked across the field toward the volleyball courts, where Suzanna and Ben now sat in the grass together. She thought about joining them, but she didn’t want to interrupt them if Suzanna was enjoying getting to know Ben.
She considered again how hot and cold Kevin had been toward her. Sometimes he seemed to enjoy her company, but he hadn’t exactly gone out of his way to seek her out. He probably asked her to the outing today just so Ben could spend time with Suzanna. And when he’d suggested they go somewhere else, he was no doubt using her to get away from the awkwardness of seeing Mary here. Whether or not that was true, they might be friends, but they’d never be boyfriend and girlfriend.
It was time to let go of her dreams about Kevin once and for all. Her father had been right all along. Her chance with this man had been doomed from the start, and she had to stop torturing herself. She couldn’t wait to get home to the privacy of her room so she could unload her grief.
* * *
“I’m sorry about Mary,” Kevin said as he guided the horse toward Phoebe’s house later that afternoon. “If I had known she’d be there today, I wouldn’t have suggested we go.”
Phoebe kept her eyes focused out the window as if the passing traffic was the most interesting sight she’d ever seen. She hadn’t said much to him since they’d walked to the buggy together, and the silence was deafening.
He’d hoped to play a few games of Ping-Pong with Phoebe and then walk over to the pasture fence and talk with her alone. He’d craved time with her for the past two weeks, and today gave him the opportunity. But once Phoebe met Mary, she’d shut him down.
Now, as they sat in the buggy together, Phoebe wouldn’t even look at him. Mary had spoiled everything, but he had allowed it to happen when Phoebe wouldn’t go along with changing their plans. Guilt and regret dug their sharp tentacles into his back.
“How long did you date Mary?” Phoebe’s question came out in a strangled whisper.
Kevin’s muscles tensed, and he kept his eyes focused on the road ahead. “Almost two years.”
“When?”
He glanced at her, but she kept her focus on her lap. “We broke up last year.”
“She seemed awfully froh to see you.”
“That’s Mary. She likes to put on a show and be the center of attention.”
“I can see how she’s easily the center of attention. She’s so schee and outgoing.” Phoebe turned back toward the window.
“I don’t have feelings for her now.” Kevin emphasized the words. “It’s over between us.”
“What happened between you two?”
He huffed out a breath as he gathered his words. “All she talked about was getting married.”
“And that’s not what you wanted?”
“First, I wanted to establish a career away from the dairy farm and build a haus, to support myself and stop depending on mei bruder. She didn’t like that idea. She kept telling me I should be satisfied with working on the dairy farm so we wouldn’t have to wait to get married. She didn’t even care if we lived in mei bruder’s haus, at least in the beginning. She just wanted to get married.”
When he glanced at her again, she was staring out the side window with her back to him. Guilt tightened the knots in his shoulders. “We should have just left. I’m sorry if she made you uncomfortable.”
Phoebe remained silent, and the tension in the buggy was as thick as tar.
“Phoebe.” He worked to keep his tone gentle. “I’m glad you went with me today.”
Her house came into view, and she sat up in her seat and turned toward him. “We need more time to talk.”
He guided the horse up her driveway and then halted it at the back-porch steps before facing her. “I’m listening.”
He braced himself as her lips trembled.
“We shouldn’t see each other anymore.”
His stomach plummeted. “Why?”
“This friendship will never work.” Her voice was thin and reedy.
He leaned over and gently took her arm. “I don’t understand. I enjoy spending time with you, and I apologized for today. Tell me what else I can do to fix this.”
She yanked her arm back and then brushed away the tears that had traced down her cheeks. “There’s nothing to be done. Gut nacht.”
The pain in her eyes cut him to the bone. Before he could stop her, she climbed out of the buggy and hurried up the porch steps.
Kevin watched her disappear into the house, his heart shattering.