“Harry?” Desi said without opening her eyes. Someone rested their hand on her forehead to keep her from moving. “Where am I?”
“Try not to move around too much.” A woman’s voice, one she didn’t know. “Relax and lie still, and to answer your questions, you’re in recovery.” The woman’s voice was mellow and soothing, and Desi forced her eyes open. “How about some ice chips to soothe your throat?”
“Did I lose my leg?” Her throat was sore, but she was numb everywhere else.
“Dr. Basantes did your surgery, and your leg is exactly where it was before.” The woman checked her vitals and raised the blanket to look at her leg. “You still have everything you had, plus some new hardware.”
“Is Harry still here?” The more awake she became, the more aware she was of the pain wracking every part of her body.
“I’m going to page her, but we need to clear you from recovery first. Dr. Basantes ordered you transferred, and she’s going to take care of you.” The woman smiled and covered Desi’s hand with hers. “Can I get you anything while we wait?”
“Where am I going?” If they were sending her home, she wouldn’t live out the night.
“To a private room at Baptist. You’ll be more comfortable if you don’t have to share a room, and it’ll be safer.” Two men entered and the nurse moved away to meet them before she could protest. There was no way she could afford top-notch care. That would be something else for Byron to get angry about.
She took some deep breaths when she saw Harry walk in. Their first interaction had been awkward, and she couldn’t blame Harry for being so standoffish. What she’d done to Harry and how she’d been forced to do it would never be forgivable.
Seeing Harry again magnified the life she could’ve had that was stolen from her. Harry had been imprinted on her heart from grade school on. Her love for her had been so deep that not having her in her life had left a void nothing could fill. Her memories had been the one thing she could hang on to as Byron beat her, and no amount of suffering could make her let go of them.
“How do you feel?” Harry asked, her attention on her chart.
“Okay, thank you.” She couldn’t take her eyes off Harry, who hadn’t changed all that much from the last time she’d seen her. Actually, she was even more attractive now. “I’m so sorry.” Her eyes filled with tears, but she was so lethargic she couldn’t wipe them away.
“Don’t.” Harry finally glanced up. “I don’t want to be rude, but we’re way beyond that. Right now, concentrate on getting better.” The aides brought the stretcher over when Harry motioned them closer.
“I don’t have the greatest insurance, so maybe I should stay here,” she said as they prepared to lower the sides of the hospital bed. She coughed as the prickle in her throat got worse and was grateful when the nurse fed her some more ice chips.
“Don’t worry about it, and the detective assigned to your case agreed you’ll be safer at Baptist,” Harry said as she grabbed a corner of her sheet. “Ready on two, and try not to bump her leg and mess up my beautiful work.”
She couldn’t help the small groan as they slid her over, but she bit her lip as Harry walked alongside her as they started out. Harry was on her phone with what sounded like someone at Baptist, and it seemed like she was coming with her.
“Take it easy,” Harry said to the medic when they reached the ambulance. She injected a syringe full of something before they lifted her up. “This will help with the pain from all the jostling.”
“Don’t worry, Doc, we’ll go slow,” the medic said as he stepped up to sit next to Desi.
“Move over,” Harry said. “I’ll ride with you guys and save myself a trip to the parking garage.” She strapped herself into the small hopper seat. “If you close your eyes, Desi, it’ll help with motion sickness.”
She should’ve closed her eyes, but she couldn’t stop staring at Harry. Surely, once she was settled, Harry would disappear. She couldn’t risk it, and though Harry didn’t look at her much throughout the ride, she tried to do all she could to memorize every aspect of her face, just in case it took another sixteen years before she saw her again.
It didn’t take long for the doors to open, and the difference between the chaos of University Medical and the calm of Baptist was palpable. There were no crowds, no screaming kids, and no heavy police presence. Baptist was Uptown, where the streets were wider and the homes were larger. This was completely removed from her daily existence.
“If you roll through the ER, we can transfer her there and save you the trip upstairs,” Harry said, standing where she couldn’t see her.
“We don’t mind, Dr. Basantes. The coffee up there is better than anything we’re getting tonight.”
Desi watched the numbers over the elevator doors, and then she turned her attention to Harry when they stopped on the third floor.
“Hey, Dr. Basantes,” one of two attractive nurses said. They both were in dark blue scrubs and seemed more interested in Harry than her, but she couldn’t fault that.
“You have a room for me?”
“Everything’s ready and set to your orders,” the other nurse said. “Are you okay? Do you need anything before we move you?” she asked Desi.
“I’m okay.”
“You can head back to the station—I’ll handle this.” The shorter of the two inched closer to Harry. “You know, Harry, a girl could get her feelings hurt waiting for you to call.”
“This isn’t the appropriate time for that, and get it through your head—I’m not interested.” Harry’s voice was clipped and cold. “How about you head to the desk and let Savanah handle this?”
The nurse gave an unattractive pout and did as she was told. Harry didn’t seem to notice, and Desi admitted to a certain satisfaction at seeing her dismissed. She had no right to feel that way, but still.
They settled Desi gently onto the bed, and Savanah excused herself to get another IV setup. Harry adjusted her leg, taking her time until she seemed satisfied.
The nurses and techs appeared to get the message once Harry was done, and they stepped out, leaving her alone with Harry. “How long do I have to stay?” The warm blanket Savanah had covered her with had helped with the pain, but the shame of being in this position made her keep her gaze on her folded hands.
“I can’t give you an exact timeline. It depends on how well you heal, but plan for at least a week.” Harry stood by the ledge of the window and wrote in her chart as she spoke. Desi guessed it was so she didn’t have to make eye contact. Granted, she was the one with all the regret, but Harry was still full of anger. Desi’d had to sacrifice their dreams, and she’d paid dearly for it. She’d never blame Harry for being angry.
“Okay.” It was all she could think to say.
“I realize I’m the last person you want to deal with, but I hope you realize the seriousness of the situation. Your recovery will take time, but you have time, and you have the chance to recover. You give this guy another opportunity, and surgery won’t be able to fix you. These things only escalate, Desi.”
She twisted her fingers in the blanket, trying to fight the paralysis that stemmed from embarrassment. “I don’t want to talk about it, and you’re better off not getting involved. Not that I don’t appreciate you helping me, but maybe you should go.”
“You certainly made your wishes clear, Mrs. Simoneaux, so no need to explain. I’ll have someone from our practice take over your care starting tomorrow. Good luck.”
This was the first time in their history Desi had ever experienced Harry’s anger aimed at her, but she knew better than to get her hopes up that Harry would care again. She couldn’t let Harry back in and expect to survive the loss when Harry realized how broken Desi was. Once the door closed gently, she blinked rapidly as her tears started again.
There was no comparison to Byron’s fists, but all of Harry’s clipped words had been like painful blows that had driven her out into the cold. She’d survived before, and she would again, by accepting that nothing was going to change. The old saying about making your bed was familiar, but no one had told her it was a bed of nails that got sharper as the years passed.
* * *
Harry walked out clenching her fists, then thought of the optics and took a breath and flexed her hands open. The notion that she’d left all the hurt and anger in her past was a joke, and all it had taken was being this close to Desi to bring it screaming back. She needed to get the hell out of here and back to her life. This had nothing to do with her.
She punched the elevator call button, ready to go home, stand in her shower, then go to bed. Her day had started at five, and she’d almost gotten out the door before Sally had called about that last emergency. Today was a lesson in saying no every so often.
The realization that her car was still at University didn’t hit her until she was outside. “Son of a bitch, this damn day is never going to end.”
“Need a ride?” Kenneth said in an exaggerated sultry voice as he walked up behind her. “Going my way, handsome?”
“It depends. What’s it going to cost me?” She relaxed for the first time in hours. Kenneth and Tony had been her roommates in college and had kept her sane through those years and beyond.
“Your appetite. There’s a fried oyster po’boy and a beer waiting for you.” Kenneth opened the passenger side door and bowed. “My fabulous spouse made one of your favorites even though he’s been slaving in the kitchen all day long on something else, his words, not mine. He’s never done that for me, which must mean he really loves you, so it’ll be dangerous to your health, and mine, if you even think of turning him down.”
“I need to pick up my car first, buddy.”
“Already done, so get in. Tony got the thrill of driving your girlfriend home, and he even sprayed his favorite air freshener all over the place.”
She got in, let her head fall to the headrest, and closed her eyes. She hadn’t been this mentally fatigued since her residency days.
“It’s going to be okay, Harry—just have faith.”
“I love you, bud, but faith can fuck itself. She married Byron Simoneaux.” She raised her voice on the name. “Can you believe that? She married that bastard to be his punching bag, and that obviously was better than being with me.” She looked out the window, wanting to simply go to bed and forget this day ever happened. “Unbelievable.”
“Harry, I hate to bring up your mother, but keep in mind what she’s always preaching. There are two sides to every story, and I don’t think this one’s going to be that simple. Give her the chance to explain, and if it turns out to be simple, I’ll apologize over a steak.”
“Not everything in life can be fixed with meat. Most things, but not everything.” She laughed and punched his arm. “Thanks for being a good friend.”
“I’m the best, but you do help with Tony, which keeps me off his shit list. That means I’ll do anything for you.”
Kenneth and Tony spent the rest of the evening cheering her up and offering advice. She ate and fell asleep on their couch where her subconscious didn’t give a damn what Desi had done. Desi was waiting patiently for her like she was most nights, making promises she had no intention of keeping. In her dreams though, it was easy to believe Desi. Dream Desi, though, was whole, safe, and completely hers.
It was Harry’s first year of college, and it should have been the start of a fantastic adventure. Instead, it was a nightmare.
“I don’t get it,” Harry said as she slammed the phone in the kitchen down. It was the only one in the apartment she shared with Kenneth and Tony. “She won’t return my calls or answer the letters I’ve sent. That’s the last call I’ll make, since I woke her father up for the tenth time. Clyde works three jobs, and I don’t want to keep bothering him.”
“He didn’t give you a clue?” Tony asked.
“It’s not like I can say, I’m in love with your daughter and we’ve been making plans for the future for years, but now she won’t even talk to me. Where the hell is she?” Harry rubbed her chest like someone had kicked her.
“Maybe she changed her mind, and this is her way of telling you she doesn’t want to see you anymore,” Kenneth said and stopped talking when Tony pinched his arm hard enough to remove skin. He rubbed at it and glared at him.
“We’re going home in two weeks, so wait until then to try again. I’m not saying Kenny’s right, but if he is, you’ll know for sure, and you can stop torturing yourself. No matter what happens, buddy, we’ll be here for you,” Tony said as he knelt in front of her and cried with her.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do if she doesn’t want to see me anymore. Desi’s been a part of my life for so long that I’m not sure I know how to live without her.”
“I’m sure it’ll work out, but no matter what, Kenny and I will help you through it. You’re not alone, Harry, and you never will be.”
Harry wanted desperately to believe that, but deep in her soul she knew she was losing a huge part of who she was, and if Desi left her, her heart would never be the same.