“Dr. Basantes, could you answer some questions for me and my family?” the elderly woman in the waiting room asked.
Harry had already explained the hip replacement she’d just finished on the woman’s husband and what they could expect as far as recovery, but it seemed the woman needed more reassurance. Harry’s six residents and three nurses stood by the rolling cart loaded with charts and waited, all of them knowing not to interrupt no matter how long it took.
Putting people at ease was something she’d learned from her father. She remembered the lecture she’d gotten from him as she followed him around the hospital during his rounds. “It takes no extra effort to be nice, Harry. Remember that when you have patients of your own. These people are scared and full of questions. I don’t ever want to hear you blew anyone off because you didn’t feel like talking or taking the time to walk them through something. You do that, and you’ll need a surgeon once I’m done with you,” Francisco Basantes had joked with her.
The woman and her three children all hugged her when she’d run through it all one more time, and she shooed her group to the elevator to start rounds. She laughed at the expressions of the patients when so many people in lab coats walked in, but it was the only way for the young doctors to learn.
“All we have left is Desiree Simoneaux, Dr. Basantes,” one of the nurses said as she handed her Desi’s chart.
“Thanks, I’ll see her today, but bring Dr. Ruben up to speed when he makes rounds this afternoon. He’ll be taking over her case.” Harry looked at her watch and saw it was noon. “I’ll take care of this one myself. Grab lunch, and I’ll meet all of you for clinic this afternoon,” she said to the residents, all of whom took off before she changed her mind.
The Baptist cafeteria was pretty good, but Harry left the hospital and headed to the diner she liked a few blocks away, where she picked up a couple of burgers and a vanilla milkshake for Desi. After waking up on Kenneth and Tony’s sofa, she’d headed home for that shower she’d craved. With a little time and distance, she was more clearheaded about the situation—the best plan was to see Desi one more time and explain what came next with a new doctor. She could be nice and not put her heart at risk again. After what Desi had been through, she didn’t need Harry’s anger piled on too.
“I see you’re not into hospital food,” she said when she stepped in after knocking. Desi was sitting up in bed staring out the window with a melancholy expression, and the sunlight streaming in accentuated the slight red in Desi’s hair. With the bruised side of her face away from her, Desi resembled that beautiful young woman she knew once. It tugged at her heart, and she took a breath to steady herself.
The hospital tray sat ignored, and Desi quickly wiped her face with the backs of her fingers. “Hey,” Desi said and smiled. “I didn’t think I’d get to see you again.” More tears spilled from her eyes, and her lips were tightly pressed together.
“I wanted to check on you before handing your care over to Dr. Ruben.” Harry dropped the bag on the nightstand so she could clear the tray. “How are you feeling? How’s your pain?”
“I’m okay, and it’s bearable. Thank you for everything you’ve done, but I don’t want to keep you.” Desi never looked up at her, and her words were a clear dismissal.
Walking away would be so much easier than she’d imagined, but there was still one thing. “What exactly about me do you find so hard to tolerate?” She tried to convince herself she didn’t care, that the question was just to satisfy her curiosity. “If you don’t want to answer, don’t—I get the message.”
“You wouldn’t understand, and it’s embarrassing to admit that I wish the police had waited before coming in. I’d be better off if he’d finally gotten the chance to kill me.” The tears ran down Desi’s face, but she made no move to wipe them away.
Christ. How had their lives diverged so completely that Desi would rather be dead? Harry’s anger softened. “In my line of work, I never wish for death, no matter what. All life is worth living, and if you’re at a point that you feel otherwise, you need to change the things that bring nothing but pain.” She held out some tissues, thinking of someone to refer Desi to who could fix the parts of her she had no skill with. “Start by remembering the person you are at your core—you can’t have changed that much.”
“Life isn’t that easy, Dr. Basantes.” Desi laughed but it rang of disillusionment. “And I’m not telling you to go because of the reasons you probably think.”
The expression on Desi’s face when she finally glanced up was so broken that Harry wanted to put her arms around her, but she wasn’t exposing herself like that again with this woman.
“You have a life, and I doubt it has anything in common with mine.”
Harry moved the cheeseburger closer and opened the package. “That makes me think you didn’t know me years ago, and you don’t know me now. But I’ll honor your request to be left alone.” Desi’s tears started again in earnest but all Harry wanted was to run. To offer comfort now was to start taking bricks off the wall she’d meticulously built around her heart, and she’d worked too hard to make it impenetrable. “Would you like the staff to call Rachel and your father? I’m sure they’d want to know what happened and where you are.”
“Clyde died of lung cancer five years ago, and Rachel still lives with me, so I’m sure she’ll be here when she can. I talked to her briefly yesterday.” The way Desi wiped at her cheeks followed by the small bite of food seemed like a strategy to stop talking.
The news about Clyde came in a flat tone, but the information about Rachel was the first sign of life in Desi’s voice. “Are you sure you don’t want me to call her?”
“Are you talking about me?”
The young woman at the door with the red hair that was in no way a hue found in nature was leagues away from the Rachel she remembered. It was as if Rachel had thrived while Desi had gone in the opposite direction. Whatever the hell this was made absolutely no sense.
“Harry!” Rachel flung herself at her and Harry’s arms automatically came up and held her. “I couldn’t believe it when Desi told me you did her surgery. Thank you for taking such good care of her.” Rachel stood on her toes and kissed her cheek.
“You’re welcome, and if you stick around, you can meet her new doctor. He’ll be taking over her care.” She looked at Desi one more time before leaving, and she noted the way Rachel looked between the two of them. Still, there were no answers coming to the questions that had nagged at her like a swarm of stinging insects. Not your business anymore.
Harry walked to the sunroom at the end of the hall, glad it was empty as she sat and closed her eyes. She had another ten hours of work, so it was time to concentrate on the rest of her day. Her patients needed her head to be clear and her hands to be steady, so she tried her best to focus.
“Leave it alone and in the past,” she whispered as a mantra to get her head right.
* * *
“Aren’t you going to say hello?” Desi pushed the tray away and held her hand out.
Rachel sat on the bed and took her hand. “Look at you. You’re a mess.” She raised her other hand and went to touch her cheek but stopped as if not wanting to hurt her. “He did a real good job this time, didn’t he?”
“Not right now, okay?” She sighed when Rachel squeezed her hand.
“It has to be now, babe. What’s it going to take for you to see reason and leave this asshole? I swear if you say a pine box, I’m going to lose it. Jesus, babe, there are police outside your room to make sure he doesn’t come after you again.” Rachel stood up and started pacing as if not able to contain her anger. “For once, take what the universe and fate have thrown at your feet.”
“Please tell me you don’t mean Harry.” All those fantasies she’d had of Harry coming and saving her died the second she saw her in the emergency room. There was no room for her in Harry’s world any longer, and she was left with nothing. The anger that seemed to consume Harry wasn’t anything like Byron’s rage, but it also meant there’d be no going back to what they’d meant to each other. “This is embarrassing enough without her knowing the truth of how pathetic I am.”
“You can’t stay with him, Desi. It’s time to say enough.” Rachel sat next to her again and put her hand on her shoulder. “You’ve sacrificed enough.”
“Do you remember what happened the last time I tried to leave? He’s never going to let me go.” He’d threatened to kill Rachel if she tried to run again. It didn’t matter if he was in jail—Byron would have his brother or father do it to kill the small piece of her heart that was left.
“You don’t think I know why you’ve put up with this shit for as long as you have?” Rachel exhaled forcefully and started crying. “That I don’t know what Clyde threatened? Our bastard of a father did this, but he’s in the ground where he deserves to be, and it’s my turn to take care of you. That begins with you pressing charges, and the two of us finding a new place and starting over.”
“I won’t gamble with your life, sweetie. I’m stuck, but you’re not. It’s time for you to make a life for yourself.”
“You must not think very much of me if you can seriously say that.” There was anger mixed with incredulousness in her voice. “You’ve had your reasons, and I love you for them, but this is it. There’ll be no more pain and violence.”
“I’m sorry for all this, and it’s not that I don’t want peace, but I’m scared.”
“This time it’s my turn to be brave, and if I get my wish, I won’t be doing it alone.” Rachel smiled and winked at her. “With any luck, Harry is single and as chivalrous as she always was.”
“The last thing Harry wants to do is take on my boatload of problems, and she’s still angry. She made that very clear when she handed me off to another doctor.”
“Of course she’s mad. She loved you. She made plans with you, and you disappeared without any explanation. You know I love you, but if you’d done that to me, I’d be pissed too.” Rachel squeezed her hand, her expression resolute. “I appreciate everything you did for me, but you are not throwing away this chance. You know I’d never leave you in that hellhole, so taking a chance now sets us both free.”
“I chose to do what I did, and I also knew the consequences of those choices. The last thing I ever thought was that Harry had been waiting all this time for an explanation. I figured she’d forgotten me.” She sighed from the frustration of making Rachel understand. She’d given away her one opportunity in life to be happy for her sister.
Rachel put her fingers under her chin and forced her to look at her. “Tell me your choices haven’t cost you everything, starting with the one person who mattered most. If you give me an honest answer, I’ll do whatever you ask, but you have to be honest.”
“Do you think if I had a do-over, I’d pick differently? I wouldn’t—because I love you, and you have a chance to be different than me. If I’d picked what I’d wanted, there was no way I’d ever forgive myself for what Clyde had planned for you. That would’ve scarred you so deeply there’d be no chance of you being the amazing person you are.” She spoke with conviction to get her point across. “You’re free to make whatever life you want, and if you do that, it’ll all have been worth it. I’ve told you that over and over, but you refuse to go.”
“I love you as much as you do me, so we’re not having that argument again. I go where you go, and you decided to stay with that asshole, so I stayed with you. And I’m with you now, for whatever comes next.” Rachel’s hair fell forward when she bowed her head. “There’s nothing in the shadows that can hurt either one of us, babe. Not anymore. We can both have something new—you just have to want it badly enough.”
“If I’ve learned anything, it’s that life isn’t that simple. I know my place, and there’s no escape.” She closed her eyes and turned her head. Her job now was to cut Rachel loose from this hell. “Could you give me some time? I’m tired.” And she was. Tired of living, breathing, and being a punching bag for every man in her life. If there was something to look forward to, it was that once Byron found her, it would be over. Perhaps if any of the Bible stories were true, she’d find peace in the next life.
* * *
Harry didn’t have to open her eyes to know who was hugging her from behind. “How have you been, really?” she asked. They’d been in the same city all this time, but worlds apart.
Rachel took the question as an invitation to sit in her lap because that’s where she landed. “You still smell the same, Harry.” Rachel rested her head on her shoulder and pressed her nose to her neck.
“That’s because I’m a creature of habit. I’m the same old boring Harry.”
“If that’s true, you’re like an answer to a prayer. That old Harry was the one bright thing in our lives when we were children because you loved us.” Rachel kissed her cheek and held her. “Thank you for taking care of Desi yesterday. The police had plenty of questions for me, so I’m glad you were there when I couldn’t be.”
“I was just doing my job.”
“I don’t quite believe that was it, and my goddess, I’ve missed you.”
She tugged on Rachel’s hair gently and allowed herself to remember the happiness Rachel had brought into her life from that first day. Harry’d never questioned Rachel’s tagging along with her and Desi, or that she’d be a part of their future. Losing Desi had only been compounded by losing Rachel along with her.
“I missed you too.” She held Rachel, enjoying this solid reminder of simpler times. “But my part is done. You need to understand that Desi has a long recovery ahead, and she’s going to need you to get back on her feet. She should also start therapy to help with what got her here.”
“You’re done? You’re joking, right?”
“Rachel, there’s no going back for me. She’s had all this time to set things straight, and she hasn’t. Neither of you has.” She stopped talking when Rachel sat up, and from her expression, she knew she sounded childish.
“Listen to me, okay? Nothing that happened was your fault, and it was all so incredibly unfair to you.”
“I’m sorry, squirt. This has nothing to do with blame or fairness, but it’s done.”
“You might not believe me, but it’s not Desi’s fault either, and you need to give her the chance to tell you herself. Maybe you don’t think she deserves that, but she’s been through hell, and I’m begging on her behalf.”
“You don’t have to beg.” She kissed Rachel’s forehead and smiled. “I don’t have it in me to blame her for anything, and I didn’t realize it until now. She has the right to live whatever life she wants. Desi doesn’t owe me anything.”
Rachel took her hand and threaded their fingers together. “Desi thought she had no choice, and she hasn’t forgotten you. In truth, she’s gotten hit plenty because she can’t forget.”
“Believe me”—she shook her head, trying to clear the sight of Desi in the emergency room—“I’ve spent hours since yesterday trying to put together the girl I knew with the woman in that hospital room. Nothing I come up with computes.”
“Harry, her story isn’t mine to tell.” Rachel cupped her cheek. “I didn’t understand what she did either, and I spent a long time being angry at what she’d done to you and how she’d done it. You were so good to both of us, and suddenly you were gone because she broke it off.”
“You live with her, though.” She gazed at Rachel, and her old friend couldn’t keep eye contact. It reminded her of Desi and how she acted. “Why haven’t either of you left? This attack was brutal, and from what I understand, Desi came close to not making it. The fact that she wishes Byron had finally finished her doesn’t make sense either. Do they have children?”
“No, thank God, and I’ve tried for years to get her to leave, but Clyde and Byron were impossible to fight, and there was no way I was going to leave her to deal with it on her own. It’s been years of terror, and it’s going to take a lot of love to build her back up.”
“Hopefully she listens to you and doesn’t go back.”
“Please.” Rachel moved her hand from her cheek to the side of her neck. “She’s never going to ask, but she’s going to need you. Promise you’ll at least try.”
“She doesn’t act like she wants me around, and she seems to have been through plenty already. The last thing I want is to force her into something else against her will.”
“You and Byron are the definition of opposites. If you’re still pissed, then think of it as doing it for me because you love me.” Rachel scratched the back of her neck and kissed her cheek. “Think about it before you disappear. You’ll regret it if you don’t find out the truth.” Rachel gave her a soft smile. “It’s so wonderful to see you again, Harry.” She left, her short heels clicking down the hallway.
Harry sighed and picked up the phone. “The smart play, Basantes, is to walk away.” That’d be the best for everyone, but she wasn’t exactly rational when it came to the Thompson sisters. “Hey,” she said when her friend Dan Ruben answered. “Thanks for agreeing to take on the patient we talked about, but I’m keeping the case. It’s more complicated than I thought.”
That was such an understatement it was almost laughable.