Chapter Twenty-one

Mouse

McCall’s Bronxwood Funeral Home on Bronxwood Avenue was jam-packed with people coming to Crystal’s home-going service. It seemed like every resident in Edenwald came out to say good-bye to Crystal. She was definitely loved and was going to be missed. It started to rain, so a lot of folks crammed themselves under the green awning trying not to get soaking wet from the rain. The street was lined with parked cars; passing traffic and the hustlers came out in droves to give their respect to Dodo’s girlfriend. It was mostly YGC niggas in attendance. They were very saddened about Dodo’s untimely and violent demise. They wore his gangster image on black T-shirts with RIP DODO, YGC 4LIFE embroidered on the front at Crystal’s funeral. Dodo’s home-going had been the previous day and a mob of people also came out to show their respect.

I came alone. Tango volunteered to watch Eliza for me while I attended the home going to say my good-byes. At first I was reluctant to attend, but if it was me, Crystal would have come to my funeral and I couldn’t do my friend dirty like that.

Before I walked into the funeral home, I talked to everyone outside: Dandy, Erica, Nico, Sophia, Quinn, and a dozen other people from my old building. Everyone was saddened about what happened. We were talking. I found myself zoning out, thinking about old times. It was good to see old faces again, but it was hard to say good-bye.

I spent a half hour lingering outside feeling hesitant about going inside. I took a deep breath and entered the funeral home. The large foyer was flooded with people, family and friends. There was a mixture of folks clad in black and some in everyday attire, some faces I knew, and some I didn’t. Some people were crying and other people were having a normal conversation about anything and everything. I moved toward the room where Crystal was lying in the casket. I could smell the flowers; they were all over. I signed the register book to show I attended the funeral. I then walked inside the main room. The rose room was able to accommodate 400 people. There wasn’t an empty chair in the place. I slowly walked down the aisle with the white and gold casket at the end of it. I could see Crystal’s body slightly protruding from the casket. The closer I came to it, the more tears I let go.

Her family was seated in the first two pews; they were weeping heavily, hugging and consoling each other. I saw her brothers and sister, but didn’t acknowledge them. I couldn’t. I was barely holding myself together. I was able to stand over the casket and gazed down at my departed friend. I was choking up, but maintaining. The mortician did an excellent job with her. She didn’t look like plastic like so many others people I done seen. Of course her expression was deadpan and she was nicely wearing a beautiful white lace sleeveless gown. It looked expensive and it made her looked like an angel.

“Good-bye, Crystal,” I whispered to her.

I leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. I said my piece to her and pivoted on my heels and hurried away, feeling the anguish overcoming me. I hurried up the aisle, wiping away tears and wanted to leave the building. It was just too much to deal with.

I went back outside. It had stopped raining, but the sky was gray and the area too gloomy for my taste. People loitered around everywhere, looking casual. I needed a fuckin’ cigarette. I asked a friend of mine for a Newport. I placed the smoke into my mouth and she lit it for me. I took a few needed pulls and exhaled. I closed my eyes for a moment and heaved a sigh and tried to free my mind from the awareness that one day, someday, we were all going to meet that same fate. I just hoped my day wasn’t coming anytime soon. I wanted to see my daughter grow up. I wanted to live my life normally.

I took a few drags from the cancer stick and noticed the black-on-black Bentley parking across the street from the funeral home. Both doors opened and my eyes became transfixed on this burly, dark, and tall guy who anyone couldn’t miss. And then I saw her exiting the Bentley: Sammy. She looked good. She was dressed to the nines and he looked dapper down in a black three-piece suit. They both crossed the street arm in arm and Sammy looked like she was the first lady of the United States.

I stood there and gawked at her, feeling some trepidation inside of me. I hadn’t seen or spoken to Sammy in months, and there she unexpectedly was, coming my way with this mammoth of a man towering over her. But I figured she would come to show her respects at Crystal’s funeral.

We both were friends with her, but no longer friends with each other.