Chapter 24

 

 

 

Claudia settled in at Olivia and Gideon’s. She sat with Olivia in the morning room. Olivia explained it was for the lady of the house to correspond and plan her day while basking in the sun’s rays. Or so it was said. Olivia clarified this small room only caught the sun toward the end of the afternoon, like now. A tea tray was set before them, and they were left alone.

“I have news,” Olivia beamed. “Gideon and I are taking in a little girl from Chellenhome and making her part of our family. Her name is Marie, and she is six years old. Oh, you should see her. Marie is a sweet, kind child. We fell in love with her immediately. We are getting to know her better and giving her time to adjust. She will come here to live with us in January.”

Claudia smiled. “Congratulations. That is wonderful.”

“And that is not all,” Olivia said excitedly. “I am expecting. Can you believe it? I thought I would have difficulties, considering I am well into my thirties. We are over the moon.”

“No wonder you have been glowing lately. I am pleased for you both. You—and Gideon—deserve every happiness.”

“Did I hear my name mentioned?” Gideon smiled as he strode into the room. “Do not despair. I only popped in to grab a few raspberry tarts. And maybe a raisin biscuit or two.” Gideon withdrew a handkerchief from his pocket and deftly gathered baked goods from the 3-tired silver tray.

“I just told Claudia the good news,” Olivia said brightly.

“A family. I always desired one,” Gideon murmured. “And Claudia, we want you to be part of that family.”

She blinked rapidly, looking up at Gideon. “I am an illegitimate stepsister. Sired by a contemptible being we all despise.”

“That may be, but to me, you are my sister. And we want you to be an aunt to our children. Will you consider it?” Gideon asked, his look expectant.

There is that annoying lump of emotion. 

She nodded. “Yes, I will.”

“Good. I am glad to hear it. That is a start. Ladies, I will leave you with your tea and varied discussions. See you at dinner.”

Gideon swept from the room, closing the door behind him.

“If you had met him a year ago, you wouldn’t believe it was the same man. He has opened up in all ways, embracing life and love. So have I. If ever there were two damaged people—but you know of what I speak.”

Claudia nodded. “So much has transpired. My emotions are a complete mess. I am so confused. I barely had time to adjust to my new situation when Tensbridge entered my life. I don’t know where to begin.”

“Why don’t we start at the beginning? At our time on the streets? That is the root of your muddled trepidation in allowing yourself to feel anything. I know, believe me. We shall meet here in the afternoon over the next few days, and we will puzzle this out. I promise.”

That would mean telling her story again, for the second time in a week. But who would understand how past events can shape one’s present life? Olivia would.

With a shaky sigh, Claudia sipped tea and began her narrative. “It all began at Eaton Place, in Belgrave Square…”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The past few days at Olivia and Gideon’s home had been a revelation. To witness a loving couple openly express their affection was not something Claudia was used to seeing. The consideration for the other’s needs, the teasing and playfulness. The trust. 

Hearing of Gideon’s and Olivia’s pasts put much in perspective. At times, it felt as if only Claudia suffered, but deep down, she knew others had it worse. To find out that, in different ways, Olivia and Gideon had horrible pasts as sinister as—or in some respects—worse than her made her question her lingering fright when dealing with emotions. And within The Rakes stratosphere, Baroness Wenlock suffered trauma from living on the streets. The Duke of Chellenham suffered trauma from an emotionally abusive and neglectful father. But to hear that Winstone physically and mentally abused Gideon as a boy was more than she could bear. Her so-called father deserved to rot in prison.

Being wealthy did not guarantee happiness. Yet, despite Olivia and Gideon’s damage, they survived. They thrived. They loved.

Why can’t she do the same? 

Claudia harbored deep feelings for Oliver. She could admit that much. Why risk her life to bring him food while he hid in the cache? He was right. A bond had formed between them beyond their shared hazardous experience. She initiated kissing him more than once, which proved she found him attractive. Oh, why couldn’t she move past her paralyzing fright?

Olivia breezed into the library with a basket of flowers. “Good afternoon! I hope I am not disturbing you.”

Claudia glanced down at the book in her hands. She had read the same page over and over for an hour. She set it aside. “Not at all.”

“Good. Because I ordered a tea tray to be brought up.” Olivia placed the basket on the table and arranged the flowers in a crystal vase. “Michaelmas daisies and autumn crocuses. Or so the gardener tells me. When I married Gideon, I knew nothing of flowers or how to craft an arrangement.”

“I like the lilac-colored daisies. They are stunning,” Claudia stated.

“I do as well. We are having a small dinner party tomorrow night. We would like for you to attend. Eleanora and Christian, Asher and Charity, Gideon’s Aunt Mirella, and Gideon’s good friend, Brandon Knight, who is in London temporarily on business. Brandon, his wife, Angeline, and his stepson, the young Earl of Oakby, plan to return to England sometime in the next fifteen months. Before you object, I have the perfect gown for you to wear. I wish to give it to you. The coloring never complimented my hair shade. It is gold, with lots of lace and silk.”

A dinner party. Hell’s bells.

Her first instinct was to say no, stay in her room, read a book, and shut herself off from any social situation. But Claudia was slowly realizing that interacting with people was not something she should or could avoid. Everyone had been so kind and giving, from those at The Velvet Vine to the ladies at the Galway Agency, to Olivia and Gideon and the rest of The Rakes.

But how does she take those baby steps toward Oliver? It was too big of a leap, the emotions much more intense, the risk too great. 

Or was it?

Claudia rubbed her forehead to stem the annoying flash of pain behind her left eye.

Olivia sat next to her on the settee. “Oh, my dear. I understand your inward struggle. Our little dinner party is a first step out into the world—a chance to try and place your past behind you enough that the only way is forward. But I do not wish to force you. Just say the word, and I will cross you off the guest list.”

Claudia sighed. “It would be easy to stay in my room.”

“Very easy. I did it for years, never venturing out much in public. But you couldn’t stay hidden away. You had to protect your girls. I admire you so much for doing that. And you cared and protected your dear mother as well. Oh, you have feelings, Claudia. And your instincts are correct. Once you landed at The Velvet Vine, you could have done the same as me—hiding away in your room. But you didn’t. You grabbed the opportunity with both hands and accepted the job with the Galways. Good for you.”

Claudia nodded as she wiped a wayward tear from her cheek. “And now?”

“You seize even more opportunities. Friendship with me and the ladies within The Rakes and at the Galway Agency. Family, with me and Gideon. But most importantly, love. Or the possibility of it—with Oliver Wollstonecraft. He is a fine, honorable man and devilishly handsome to boot. I do not know all the particulars of how you both came to be injured, and I know you must keep confidence when dealing with an investigative case. But you care for him. You admitted as much yesterday.” Olivia took her hand and squeezed it assuredly.

“Perhaps I more than care. I may be falling in—hell’s bells, I cannot even say the word. It is so much more than his looks. It is his outward confidence, his desire to help others, how he embraces and acknowledges his emotions and speaks his mind—at least to me. He loves his family and friends. He took in a stray cat, can you imagine? No man should be so perfect.”

Olivia laughed, then sobered. “I assure you he is not perfect. No one is. But the fact you see him in this light shows you are definitely falling for him. There is nothing like it,” Olivia said dreamily. “To find one’s soul mate. To be friends as well as lovers, sharing everything. And it doesn’t happen to everyone. There are many lonely people in the world—and alone.”

That was true. Everything Olivia said made perfect sense. “Oliver said he sometimes felt lonely, even with his huge family and circle of friends. He said a doctor told him that feeling that way is caused by a fear of intimacy. And tragedy, although I don’t believe that aspect relates to him.”

Olivia nodded. “Yes, it is true what the doctor said. Even the most confident of people can have doubts and fears. Oliver admitted this to you?”

“We shared quite a lot when we were alone.”

“Yes, that is the beginning of building a relationship. Trust and sharing your past.”

“It is, and I am so glad I shared it with you as well,” Claudia said softly as she squeezed Olivia’s hand. “And I will attend your dinner party. Let’s try on the dress.”

Olivia squealed and jumped to her feet. “I hoped you would agree. I have it laid out on my bed. Come, let’s have a look before the tea tray arrives.”

As they dashed toward Olivia’s room, hand in hand, laughing and talking, a pang of emotion wrapped around Claudia’s heart. She had missed this since her mother died, not that they had much to laugh and smile about those last few years. The friendship, the joy of sharing secrets. Actually smiling—and meaning it. 

If telling Oliver about her past lifted a weight from her shoulders, then confiding with Olivia removed most of the remaining burden. 

Claudia felt lighter. And perhaps, at last, ready to move forward with her life on all fronts.