As I stood looking up the path, I could see the rocks and crags, bleak against the darkening sky. The wind was whistling and howling. There was something creepy and exciting about it. I liked it somehow, I don’t know why. It suited my mood, I suppose.

And also what was there to be frightened of? On the moors? Fang was just a silly village story. How could a dog be half-dog half-donkey? If Fang was half-otter half-dog, that would be more likely. And who could be frightened of that? A dog that really liked swimming? That’s not very scary.

As I stood there being blown about by the wind, I was still excited about Charlie saying I was a cracking kisser. If it was true, maybe there was a way I could show Alex that I wasn’t just a little girl any more. I pulled my coat about me. I thought I’d go and look at the moors. I went up the back road as far as the low branch. Ruby told me that if you hung upside down on it, it made you happy because all the bad feelings dropped out.

I’m going to try it. I turned upside down on the branch and was swinging by my legs. In the wind. It was quite peaceful as I rocked back and forwards.

The sky looked even more dramatic upside down. Then there was a really loud rumble of thunder and a crash of lightning. I got the right way round quickly. The atmosphere had gone all shivery, it must be about to pour down.

And then I felt a presence. There was definitely something alive very near to me. Oh no.

Fang. He might really, really be real. Maybe he can smell teenagers.

I looked into the dark fearfully. I could see a dark shape. Oooooh noooooo.

It wasn’t Fang. But it was nearly as bad.

“What’s tha doin’ hanging abhat here?”

Cain was there, looking at me from underneath his eyelashes. I couldn’t see his eyes very well, he had his collar up.

He went on looking.

And I went on looking.

I was so shocked to see him I couldn’t speak. I managed to croak out. “Are you… well, are you all right? No one knew where you were. And one of the lads said you might have, you know, been dead.”

I could see his teeth curving into a bitter smile. He said, “Why, were you worried abaht me? Did you miss me?”

I said, “No, I didn’t, well, you know, we didn’t know where you were, and Mrs Bottomley with her gun and everything.”

Cain said, “That woman couldn’t hit a bloody elephant, even if it had a target painted on it.”

I said, “Oh, OK. Well… are you, er, coming back into Heckmondwhite?”

He came a bit closer and sat down on the branch where I’d been hanging upside down. Oh God, had he seen me doing that? Thank Jehosophat, I’d got my trousers on.

He was looking down at his feet.

“No, not yet. Ah’ll leave it a bit longer, let things quiet dahn.”

I said, “Where have you – I mean, have you got a nice cave to stay in?”

He laughed. “I’m not a bloody dog.”

I felt a bit stupid.

Then he sighed. “Ay up, I’m sorry, I know tha’s being nice. You’re a funny one, you, aren’t you?”

I sniffed, “Oh, yeah, that’s me. The funny one. I know you make fun of me and call me stuff.”

He looked at me.

“I don’t mean to mek fun of thee, it’s just my way. Since me mam went, I don’t get on with wimmen right well. They’re not straight, they allus want summat.”

I said, “Well I don’t want summat, I mean I don’t want anything.”

He looked at me and I couldn’t help looking back. There was something about his dark eyes.

“Oh, I think you do want something. You just don’t rightly know what it is.”

I was feeling very sort of scared, I don’t know why. Maybe because I never know what he’s going to do. Poke me with a stick, laugh at me. Lick my nose.

He said, “I mek thee feel funny.”

I said, “Hahahahahaha.”

He said, “Anyway up, I’d best be off… to my cave.”

And he laughed and stood up.

“You bloody duck egg, a cave.”

I said, “Well, anyway, erm, see you.”

I turned and started to go back down the path.

My legs felt very wobbly.

They had better not do anything unusual.

I didn’t hear him going off, but then I hadn’t heard him arrive.

Maybe he’d got slippers on. Why would he wear his slippers outside. He didn’t seem the slippers kind of…

He was still there, because he said softly and seriously, “Lullah, I shouldn’t ask thee this, it might cause you trouble, but will you do summat for me.”

I turned round.

He walked towards me, quite slowly and stood right in front of me. He is quite tall. Now I could see his eyes properly in the moonlight. So black. I felt like a mesmerised mouse. He’d better not peck my head off.

Then he said, “I want thee to kiss me.”

I was absolutely paralysed.

He put both his hands on the sides of my face and bent down and kissed me.

At first I thought my head would just fall off.

But when my brain unfroze… I liked it.

He put his hands on my waist and they felt warm and strong.

The kissing thing was a combination of softness and hardness. And it wasn’t just my mouth. My whole body felt tingly and warm and sort of melty. He stopped kissing me for a minute, and I didn’t want him to. I could feel his breath on my face, all warm in the cold night.

He looked me in the eyes, then he half smiled. I could see his teeth sparkling like pearls. He took my face in his hands again and pushed a strand of my hair back, and then bent his face down to mine again. And gave me little gentle kisses on the mouth. Wow. Then just when I thought I might explode or burst into flames, he kissed me really long. And just a little bit of his tongue licked at the inside of my lips.

It was incredible.

I didn’t have any sense of time, it might have been hours or minutes, I had no idea.

But I knew I wanted to go on doing it.

Then I heard Ruby shouting in the darkness.

“Lullah, is it you there? What are you doing up there? I thought you’d gone home. Matilda… go find Lullah.”

Cain stopped kissing me. He whispered softly, “There you are, Miss. That’s given tha summat to think about, hasn’t it? See thee later.”

And his black dog appeared from nowhere and they both slipped off into the dark.

 

When Ruby huffed into view with Matilda she said, “What are you doing up there, yer barm pot!”

I told her a bit of the truth. “Well – I came up here because I was worried about Cain. I thought he might be wounded. You know, and… the… gun thingy…”

I was glad she couldn’t see my face in the dark because I am sure it would have been purple.

As we went back down the path, she said, “Don’t be so daft, he’ll be alreet. Mrs Bottomley couldn’t hit an elephant even if it had a target on it.”

I started to say, “That’s what he sa—”

But stopped myself in time.

 

When I got back to Dandelion Cottage, I felt like a woman. Not a girl any more. I wonder if my corkers had grown because of the excitement? Maybe everyone will know that something has happened to me?

I opened the front door and went into the kitchen. Dibdobs said, “Ooooh, look at Tallulah, boys!!! What has she been up to? She’s been naughty, hasn’t she, boys?”

Oh no, she could tell. Are my corkers sticking out through my coat?

“Her hair is all wild from the wind, isn’t it?”

Sam and Max came to look up at my head.

Dibdobs was going on.

“She looks like Jane Eyre, doesn’t she?”

Sam said in between sucking on his dodie, “Jane Hair.”

I laughed like a maniac and left them to their sucking. And went off to my squirrel room.

Holy Mother of God and all the Saints.

I flung myself on my squirrel bed and touched my lips, I could still feel them tingling. From Cain. Cain of all people!! Black, rusty crow Cain. Nose-licking Cain.

How could I?

He’s awful.

Awful.

But maybe he’s trying to be good?

In Jane Eyre Mr Rochester is awful, but then he turns out to be good.

Only after he has been blinded though.

Perhaps Cain is turning into a nicer person because of his troubles.

Like Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights. He is horrid and then he meets Cathy and then… oh, well, no, actually he is horrid and then he gets more horrid.

I cannot believe that I have kissed Cain. He must have hypnotised me or something. I must NEVER EVER tell anyone about this.

Not even the Tree Sisters…

It has to be my shaming secret.

I put in my Darkly Demanding Damson Diary:

 

On this day of the year of our Lord, a strange and unnatural urge overtook me. I have always wanted Alex the Good but I have accidentally snogged Cain the Bad.

I am so ashamed I may never Irish dance again.