Still at the Pole, Jack went to Fred’s pad,

For he needed some help finding his Dad.

Now Funkmaster Fred wasn’t your typical elf.

After the humans of the world, he patterned himself.

 

He’d been a doctor, a lawyer, a fireman too.

Now he was a rapper of the hip-hop crew.

In all things scientific was where Fred’s true talents lay.

He was the elf who invented the mechanized sleigh.

 

Jack had come to borrow Fred’s smarts,

To find his father using scientific arts.

“Can you help me out?” Jack asked with hope.

“You know it,” Fred said, “My skills are dope!”

 

“Look at this collar,” Jack said, “If you don’t mind.

“Give it a once over. See what you can find.”

Into his microscope, Funkmaster Fred gazed.

What he saw left him quite phased.

 

“Yo, J, check it! Do you see these hairs?

“They don’t belong to a human, but a creature who scares!

“That wasn’t any pilgrim who shot at the mayor.

“It was a werewolf, dog! A Halloweenian, player!”