Chapter Thirty-One

Kadie

For long hours, I waited in my room for Etienne’s return. My nerves frayed, wondering if Grisselle would take out her frustration on the princes. As long as she didn’t hurt Etienne, because I had plans for him—or rather, to be with him.

Rena poured me a cup of hot tea. “You should get some rest. There’s no telling how long the queen will keep them.”

I blew on the steam swirling up from my glass. The scent of cinnamon and apples made my stomach growl. I took a sip. The hot liquid trickled down my throat, warming me.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep until I know he’s okay.”

She gave me a knowing smile and then squeezed my hand. “Etienne is a good boy. He’s been through so much. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t blame himself for what happened at the Spring Court. But I’m glad he’s found you; you make him happy. And you give him hope for a future that isn’t tainted by Winter.”

Maybe this was my chance to actually fall for someone. Salome used to lecture me about waiting for the right guy, but I’d always shoved the idea aside because my friend spent too much time with her head buried in fairytales, believing in true love, romance, and all that flowery Valentine’s shit.

But for the first time, I considered maybe she’d been right. Well, at least if Etienne and I could explore a normal relationship—as normal as anything could be around here, anyway. Maybe tonight, we could take everything to the next level. He’d wanted me ever since the night at the club. I’d seen it in his eyes then, and I’d seen it even here in Winter.

The door to the room burst open. Etienne stood at the threshold, breathless. “The queen wishes an audience with you. I think you might be the only one to make her see reason.”

Rena cast a nervous glance between us. “Well, come along, child, you don’t want to keep her waiting.”

When I reached the door, Etienne offered me his arm.

“Everything will be okay,” he said.

“I know. The queen and I are blood sisters now, she’d never hurt me.”

Etienne went still, his eyes widened. “You’re what?”

“Blood sisters. I know she’s angry, but not with me. I can hear her in my head.”

“Damn it, Kadie, do you not have any idea what you’ve done? She’s bonded to you, which means she can get inside your head…she can use you.”

Rena grabbed Etienne’s arm. “Enough talk. There are ears everywhere.”

Etienne went silent and jerked me out of the room and down the hall. He wouldn’t even look at me. What the hell was his problem?

When we arrived at the queen’s door, Etienne knocked.

“Come in,” Grisselle called. We found her standing near a window, overlooking the snowy landscape below. When the guards left us, she spun to face me, a smile upon her blue tinted lips. “Ah, Kadie. I’m glad you could join us.”

She gestured to Teodor and two other princes seated on furry rugs in front of her fireplace. My arms crossed my chest.

Etienne ushered me closer, and the queen took a seat with the others. “As you know, you and I’ve grown very close over the last few days. I’ve given you gifts and a title and my trust. And now, I must ask you to do a favor for me in return. Before I ask this of you, I want you to know that if there was any way to accomplish this myself, I’d do it. But for various reasons, there is no way I’d be allowed close enough to pull this endeavor off. That is why, my little sister, I must beg this of you.”

Inside, I felt her opening up to me. The dams were breaking and she was letting me see her fear as if it were my own. The darkness. The worries of being alone. Of dying. But mostly the fear of losing everything she’d worked so hard for. That everything she’d fought the last couple hundred years for was going to crumble around her.

I cleared my throat, my mouth dry as desert sand. “What do you need of me?”

She pulled a dagger from her sleeve, the blade catching the faint gleam of flames.

Oh hell. Already, I dreaded what she was about to say.

“As you know, Summer has become a thorn in my side. They know all my trusted advisors and soldiers, so I can’t get close to their borders. However, I realized that no one in Summer, save for Gareth and Salome, know you. What I need you to do is kill the Summer King or Queen. To help protect what is ours and help get rid of our final enemy.”

My heart sped up. “You want me to kill someone?” A wave of nausea washed over me. “I don’t know how you think I’ll be able to get close enough to the king or queen to do so… I’m a human.”

“Yes. But the queen isn’t so strong yet. Kadie, trust me in this. If we’re going to save our kingdom, I’ll need your help.”

A wave of fear rushed through me. I heard the unspoken threat in her words. She needed my help. And I knew what would happen if I didn’t give it.

“I just don’t know why Summer would let me anywhere near their queen…”

She reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’ve got it on good authority that your dear friend Salome has been crowned Summer Queen.”

“Salome is…she’s what?”

Grisselle smiled, almost as though she took pleasure in seeing me unnerved. “She has been crowned Summer Queen. No one told you?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Now you can see why this is perfect. She wouldn’t question you at all. In fact, she’ll welcome you with open arms. And all you have to do is cut her with this spelled dagger. One tiny prick to her skin will kill her.”

My eyes closed, and I sucked in a deep breath. Holy shit. Could I really kill my best friend?

“Kadie, I’d send one of the princes to do this deed, or go myself, but the Summer Court knows who we are and can see through any glamour we’d use. We’d be killed before even stepping over the border. You are the only one who’d be able to get close enough to do this.”

But it was Salome.

Darkness and despair swam through my mind, and clouds of sorrow washed over me. “Kadie, please, I beg you. I’ve been kind to you. I’ve given you everything that I can. Even made you my heir. If we don’t end Summer now, then we’ll be destroyed. You’ll lose everything, and so will I.”

Everything. So much contained within that one word.

“But this is Salome…”

“Who has done nothing but use you over the years.” Grisselle stared at me, her eyes welling with tears. “I didn’t want to tell you this, but Salome knew you were imprisoned in Faerie. She could’ve sent troops or someone to rescue you at any point. But she didn’t. To her, you weren’t worth the trouble. You were dispensable.”

“She knew I was here?”

I took a staggered step back. Was it true? Did Salome care so little for me that she couldn’t be bothered with rescuing her best friend? Most of my time spent in Winter, I’d tried my hardest to protect her, to keep her safe. Giving up my secrets about her had been to save my life. I didn’t want to end up like Demetria—I deserved better.

As though Grisselle could sense the doubt in me—and given our blood bond, maybe she could—she said, “Remember all the times she ruined your life. All the times that she made you put her first. Kadie, you deserve better than that—and I promise when this is all over you will come back here to me, and we’ll rule side-by-side. You and I will make Faerie perfect. But I need you to do this. I’m begging you.”

“What exactly would I need to do?” I said out loud this time.

“This dagger is spelled to sense royal blood—and as soon as it’s activated, it’ll open a portal near the border of Summer, and you can walk out of there and back here to Winter. It shouldn’t be too hard to get close to Salome. She won’t suspect a thing. And to ensure that you get there safely, I’ll send Etienne with you. Nevin and Gareth will recognize him as the King of the Spring Court. They don’t know of the bargain he made with me or that he’s been here since the fall of Spring. He can tell them he was imprisoned but managed to escape—bringing you with him. They’ll trust those answers and let you in.”

Etienne paled beside me but remained quiet.

Maybe I was dreaming? But as I stared around the room at the expectant faces, I realized they meant it.

Grisselle’s voice sounded in my head. “If you agree to do this, I’m entrusting you to go through with it. You can’t use the blade to cut yourself or an animal. It’ll only work on one of the royals. Kadie, please do this for me. If you do, I’ll never ask another thing from you. It might be our only chance to be free of Summer. If you don’t and Salome and the rest of Summer catch wind that you’ve bonded with me, they’ll kill us both. We have to get to them first.”

Another wave of fear washed over me. I closed my eyes. This was it. Any chance I’d had at saying no to her or trying to outsmart her was gone. She was in my mind. In my soul. If I said no, she’d kill me now. And if I said yes but tried to run as soon as I was away from here? She’d find me. She’d follow the bond between us and drag me back here for a fate worse than Demetria’s.

I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t.

“I’ll do what you want,” I said. Willing certainty into my voice, hoping she believed me even as I didn’t want to believe it myself. “But I want it to be remembered that I’m risking everything for you.”

And then another thought occurred to me. I knew what Grisselle would do to me if I failed her, but…what if Salome caught me? What if Summer discovered I was an assassin meant to kill their queen? They’d hurt me just as bad as Grisselle. Maybe worse.

“Speak your mind,” Grisselle said, as though she couldn’t read my thoughts. She knew what she was doing by forcing me to speak the words.

“You’ve given me a lot over the last couple of days, so I’m going to look at this as a return of favor,” I said. “But if something goes wrong, I want to know that you will come for me.”

A look of relief flashed over Grisselle’s frigid features. “You’re making the right choice.” She smiled, then caught my hand in hers. “I will always come for you. You have my word.”

Etienne stared around the room, refusing to meet my gaze. I wanted to know what was going through his head. Did he think I was being foolish? But then again, what did it matter what he thought? He couldn’t help me get out of this. I’d killed that hope when I’d mixed my blood with Grisselle’s.

“We’ll provide you with maps and food—everything you’ll need to make the journey. Etienne will accompany you tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“No, thank you.” She smiled as she placed the dagger in a scabbard and handed it to me.

I clutched it to my chest like a treasured possession. She waved her hand, dismissing us. Etienne and I were silent as we made our way back to my room. Once inside, I turned to him.

“I’m glad you’re going with me,” I said.

He cupped my face. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

I jerked away from him. “Yes, I do. I need to prove myself to Grisselle.”

“And you think the Summer Court is just going to let you waltz in there and kill their queen and then let you waltz right back out again? Have you thought none of this through?” Etienne asked. He made his way to the door then turned back to face me. “I’ll send Rena down to help you pack.”

“Etienne, wait.” I hurried to his side. I didn’t want him to be mad at me. Surely he understood why I’d agreed to this? Before he could go anywhere, my lips captured his. With a low groan, his mouth moved against mine in desperation. I dropped the dagger and tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. He trailed small kisses down my throat, his hands gripping hold of my hips and pressing me against him.

“I want you,” I said against his mouth. “Please, spend the night with me tonight.”

He held me at arm’s length, his gaze melting me from the feet up. His forehead touched mine, and I clung to him. Finally—a guy who made me feel something.

“Kadie, I’m sorry, but I can’t. Not with her in your head. I don’t want to share my intimate moments with her. She’s taken everything else from me, but I don’t want to let her have this.”

“So you don’t want me?” My voice cracked with emotion.

“Not like this.” He tugged free from me. “I’ve got to get my things in order. I’ll see you in the morning.”

When dawn came, I sat up. Today I’d start my journey. Last night I’d had nightmares about what it would mean to kill Salome…for me, for Winter, even for Summer.

“No doubts, little sister. Everything will work out. Just stay strong.” Grisselle’s words filled my mind.

“I know.”

I climbed from bed, stretched, and hurried to get my clothes on. My pack already sat on the floor near my dresser. Rena had helped me with my things the night before. Once I struggled into a pair of breeches and tunic, I slipped on a pair of boots.

A knock sounded on the door, and Etienne poked his head in. “Are you about ready to go?”

“Listen, I need to do something before I leave. It’s important.”

He gave me a quizzical glance. “What is it?”

I swallowed hard. “I’d rather not say, so if the queen asks later, you can answer her honestly when you tell her you didn’t know anything about it.”

“Okay, now you’re scaring me.” He watched me closely.

“Can you get me an axe?”

He frowned. “If you’re planning on taking out Grisselle, it’s not worth the risk. Many before you have tried and failed.”

My eyes widened. “Um—that’s not what I need it for. Besides, I meant it when I said she and I are sisters now.”

With a sigh, he finally nodded. “Okay, I’ll get it for you.”

Etienne left the room, and I glanced around, taking in the vision of my safe haven one last time. How many nights had I spent in here, under Etienne’s watchful eye? He’d risked everything to protect me, and all he had in his own quarters were a few remnants of Spring.

You need to keep it together, girl. There’s no turning back now.

I reached for a fur-lined cloak hanging up on a hook by my door. Hopefully it would keep the cold from seeping in while we trekked through the snowy woods.

After a few minutes, Etienne reappeared, carrying a large axe. “I hope this will work.”

My stomach twisted, but I didn’t feel right leaving until I took care of this. “Yeah, it’s perfect. Can you bring me to the Red Room?”

He held the door open and gestured for me to follow him. We made our way to the nightmare-inspired room. When we got there, I turned to him.

“I need to go in by myself,” I said. “I won’t be long.”

He grunted disapproval but did as I asked and locked me in. I picked my way through the scarlet room, ignoring the curtains made of skin that hung about the windows. With quick steps, I darted past the human heads that hung above the mantel. At last, I found myself in the wintry courtyard.

Mr. M’s tree-like form sagged. His leaves were all gone. Shredded bark littered the ground at his roots, which used to be legs and feet.

“Mr. Montgomery?” I said.

His knothole eyes opened and he glanced at me. “Kadie…you’re back.”

“Yes. I’ve come to say goodbye. I’ve made a deal with the queen for my safety.”

“Goood—tell…tell Salome I love herrrrr…”

My vision blurred as tears burned my eyes. Fuck. Why did he have to say that? “I will.”

“Please. Put me ou-out of my misery. So much pain.”

I touched his twig fingers. “Th-that’s what I’ve come to do, Mr. M. Forgive me.”

With a staggered breath, I raised the axe. I struck the tree three times before it finally cracked and fell to the ground. When it hit the icy surface, I watched as the old tree turned into Mr. Montgomery.

I knelt by his side. He gasped for air, his hand catching mine. “Thank you—b-be safe, Kadie.”

His head rolled to the side, and he took his last breath.

A sob raked through me as I pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Rest in peace, Mr. M. You’re in a better place now—some place where Winter will never touch you again.”

I dropped the axe and stepped away from him. A part of me had done this to put him out of his misery, but the other part didn’t want to see his hurt when he learned what I’d agreed to do to Salome. When he learned that I’d traded her life for mine. And at least now I didn’t have to think about him stuck out here, alone, in the ice and snow. At least now he wouldn’t have to suffer.

I wished it was so easy to do the same for myself.