HAI ZI

(1964–1989)

Born as Zha Haisheng to a peasant family in rural Anhui, Hai Zi is one of the most mythologized Chinese poets today. He attended Peking University from 1979 to 1983, and then taught at China University of Political Science and Law. Committing himself totally to poetry, he composed over 250 short poems and a number of long poems within the brief span of seven years. On March 26, 1989, two days after his twenty-fifth birthday, Hai Zi threw himself in front of a train in Shanhaiguan, the eastern end of the Great Wall. Although his suicide, caused probably by schizophrenia, bore no direct relation to the tragic event on Tiananmen Square two months later, the younger generation regards it as a symbol of self-sacrifice in the pursuit of spiritual salvation. A copy of Thoreau’s Walden and a Bible were found in the sachet Hai Zi had carried on the day of his death.

Your Hands

the North

pulls at your hands

hands

pluck off gloves

they are two small lamps

my shoulders

are two old houses

that hold so much

they’ve even held the night

your hands

on top of them

illuminate them

because of this in the morning after our parting

in the light of dawn

I carry a bowl of porridge with both hands

thinking of the North

separated from me by mountains and rivers

two lamps

that I can only distantly stroke

February 1985

Facing the Ocean, Spring Warms ­Flowers Open

starting from tomorrow, become a content person

feed the horses, split wood, roam the world

starting from tomorrow, I’ll concern myself with grains and vegetables

I have a home, facing the ocean, spring warms flowers open

starting from tomorrow, I’ll write letters to all the relatives

to tell them of my contentedness

what that content lightning flash told me

I will tell everyone

give a warm name to every river and every mountain

strangers, I send you my blessings

I hope for you a splendid future

I hope that you lovers become family

I hope that in this dusty world you become content

I only hope to face the ocean, as spring warms and flowers open

January 13, 1989

Spring, Ten Hai Zis

spring, ten Hai Zis fully revive

on the brilliant landscape

mocking this savage and sorrowful Hai Zi

why your long, deep sleep?

spring, ten Hai Zis release their throaty roars

encircling you and me, dancing and singing

pulling at your black hair, riding you rushing wildly away, dust swirling

your pain at the cleaving spreads over the earth

in spring, only this savage and sorrowful Hai Zi

remains, the last one

child of the dark night, steeped in winter, losing his heart to death

unable to extract himself, in deep love with an empty, frigid village

where the grain is piled high, blocking the window

the six family members use half of it: mouths, eating, stomachs

half is for planting and reproduction

great winds blow from the east to the west, from north to south, with

no thought for the dark night or the dawn

in the end what will your daybreak mean?

before dawn 3–4 o’clock, March 4, 1989

(Translated by Dan Murphy)