Chapter 25

Oxford

THE ROOM WAS filled with a menacing silence. The two proctors sat behind a long table, papers in front of them, making notes. They were wearing their official garb of black suits and academic gowns with fur-lined hoods.

It must be hot in that get up, thought Allegra. She held her hands tightly together in her lap and tried not to fidget.

One of them, a stiff-looking woman with short brown hair, looked up. ‘So, Lady Allegra, we just want to go through events one more time. I’m sure you understand a serious allegation has been made. It’s important that we are completely clear on what occurred.’

Allegra stiffened her spine and sat up even straighter, staring the proctor right in the eye. ‘Certainly,’ she said coolly.

‘As you know, we have witnesses who state that on the morning you missed your first paper in the Honour Moderations, an undergraduate was seen going into your rooms. That undergraduate was wearing sub fusc and had in all likelihood been sitting an examination that morning. Our witness says that the undergraduate – a female – stayed about half an hour and then left. Not long afterwards, you yourself emerged, also in sub fusc, and made your way to Schools. There, you explained that you’d missed the examination due to ill health and asked to be allowed to sit it that afternoon. You undertook that you had seen no one in that time and certainly no other undergraduate who had taken the paper. Is that true?’

The proctors fixed her with their icy stares and waited for her reply.

Allegra remembered how she’d had no hesitation in lying to the officials and that, when they’d believed her story, she’d felt triumphant. It was a different matter altogether to sit here in complete sobriety, far from the drama and chemically induced emotions of that day, and repeat the lie.

The proctor turned over the sheet of paper in front of her. ‘You see, Lady Allegra, your marks for the examinations were not at all distinguished. They were, one might say, bad. You would have failed, but for one thing. You scored highly enough on your translation paper to scrape over the pass mark. That Anglo-Saxon paper saved you. Now we have this allegation. When you claimed you had seen no one, you were given the benefit of the doubt. Were we right to do so?’

Tell them the same story, she urged herself. Defend yourself! Lie to them!

But she couldn’t. She’d been brought up to be honest, and in this formal situation, with its trial-like atmosphere, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Who saw Imogen? she wondered. And who the hell wanted to grass me up? But she knew that there were plenty of people who envied or hated her, and would be glad of the chance to pull her down. She could only be grateful that whoever it was had not recognised Imogen.

She opened her mouth. Her university career trembled on the brink. Would she save it or let it go? The moment seemed to hover for a long time before she said, ‘I did see another undergraduate that morning.’

‘I see.’ The proctor sat back with a satisfied smile, obviously pleased that she had trusted her instinct.

‘An undergraduate who had sat the paper that morning?’ asked the other, a man with small, close-set eyes and a beard.

Allegra looked at him, her head high. ‘Yes.’ She couldn’t lie – dishonesty seemed impossible in this situation. She was far too proud to sit here making up falsehoods to protect herself; she’d screwed up and now she’d have to take whatever consequences were coming her way.

The proctors exchanged glances with each other, and the bearded man put his pen down on the table.

‘Lady Allegra, you must be aware that the university takes the most serious view of cheating. If someone gave you an unfair advantage in this examination, it is cheating, pure and simple. Did this person alert you to the contents of the paper?’

Allegra stared back at him and breathed deeply. Then she said, ‘I dispute that I had an unfair advantage over any other candidates. I wasn’t at all well’ – The fact that it was self-inflicted is beside the point, she told herself – ‘and I could barely see straight or think coherently. But I still wanted to take the examinations if I possibly could, which is why I turned up, despite feeling so awful. I could hardly gather my thoughts in English, let alone Anglo-Saxon.’

‘That is not relevant. Every other student went into that examination unaware of the contents of the paper. If you knew in advance what would be there, you had an unfair advantage, and that is cheating.’

Fury filled her. It wasn’t as black and white as it seemed, she was sure of it, but she felt powerless to argue her case.

‘I take your silence as acknowledgement of guilt,’ said the proctor. ‘This is very serious. I’m sure you’re aware of the consequences of cheating in university examinations. We will need to consult your tutors and the Rector of your college. In some cases, however, we are able to issue fines and allow an undergraduate to resume their course. We would consider this option on condition that you give us the name of the undergraduate who told you the contents of the paper.’

Allegra straightened her shoulder and set her jaw. ‘Absolutely not.’

‘I see.’ The female proctor raised her eyebrows. ‘It will not help your case at all if you do not co-operate. You may face the severest penalty.’

‘Do whatever you like,’ she said haughtily. ‘I’m not going to tell you who it was, so you might as well not bother asking me again.’

‘I see. Thank you, Lady Allegra. That will be all.’

The wheels of Oxford justice turned slowly. Allegra went back to Foughton, unsure of what her future held. Then she was summoned back to Oxford, this time to her college and a meeting with the Rector and her tutors.

Xander insisted on coming with her. He drove her to Oxford from London in his battered MG convertible, swearing and cursing to himself all the way as they roared along the M40. ‘I should never have let you come to the bloody Gaveston!’ he shouted. ‘That’s what got you into this mess.’

Allegra ignored him, too low-spirited to bother shouting back above the noise of the engine, and stared at the golden and green fields spreading out lushly into the distance. But when they pulled up at the St Margaret Road house, she said, ‘You can’t organise my life for me, Xander. It was my decision to go to the Gav. And I even made Imogen come with me – she’s the one you should feel sorry for. I nearly fucked up her chances as well. I’m just glad she was sensible enough to revise thoroughly beforehand.’

‘You’ve got to stop leading her astray,’ Xander said softly. ‘She’s not like us. She’s a good kid with a decent future in front of her and we can’t be responsible for wrecking it.’

‘And I haven’t got a decent future?’ Allegra demanded, stung.

Xander sighed and ran his hands over the steering wheel. ‘Of course you have. You’re bright and beautiful, and you have just about every advantage it’s possible to have. But I don’t know …’ He gazed over at her, his dark blue eyes sad. ‘I worry about our family, that’s all. Sometimes I think we’re destined to be miserable, despite everything. At least, I am. I hope you manage to escape it.’

‘But you’ve got everything as well!’ Allegra said, reaching out and putting her hand on his arm.

Xander smiled at her, a sad yet sweet smile. ‘I know. That’s the bloody stupid thing.’

He drove her into town and waited as she made her way nervously to the Rector’s House in her gown, clutching her mortar board.

Her brother was waiting for her in the quad as she emerged, white-faced, an hour later. He had his hands in pockets and was kicking small pebbles about the paving. When he saw her, he came hurrying over. ‘Well? What did they say?’

‘It’s no good,’ Allegra said in a voice that came out sounding strangled. ‘I’m out. They’ve sent me down.’

A look of despair passed over Xander’s face. ‘No? Fuck! I can’t believe it! Can you appeal?’

She shook her head, too numb to feel anything. ‘That’s it. It’s been made quite clear. It’s finished.’

‘This is mad. You don’t deserve this. If they’re going to send anyone down, it should be me. I’m a waste of space, I never do any work … I wish they’d take me instead and let you stay.’

‘It doesn’t work like that,’ Allegra said sadly.

‘Shit.’ He wrapped her in a tight hug. ‘God, I’m so sorry.’

‘That makes two of us.’