Cole placed the last box of Jackie’s things on the floor in her cluttered apartment. It was smaller than her one above the store in Sweetheart Creek, and felt cramped. He’d been driving one of the first trucks to arrive in the caravan of friends, and had helped roll out her area rugs, haul up her couch, armchair and bed, before bringing up boxes from other vehicles.
Goose sat on Jackie’s purse, watching it all with a morose expression, his tail thumping whenever Cole walked past.
In the small kitchen, Mrs. Fisher and Cole’s mom had already unpacked Jackie’s dishes, stacking them on the counter as they debated the most logical and efficient place to store each item.
Mrs. Fisher flicked a light switch. When nothing happened, she flicked it a few more times, then moved to the fridge and checked the interior. She frowned and called Jackie. “Why don’t you have electricity, honey?”
“I don’t?”
“Did you get it hooked up?” Cole asked.
“What do you mean?” She looked so confused it broke his heart.
“It doesn’t always come with your apartment.” He’d learned that the hard way, too.
“I didn’t have to hook it up in Sweetheart Creek,” Jackie said, clearly miffed by this embarrassing oversight.
“Welcome to the city, sweetie. You pay for everything here. Even parking.” Laura had hung up Jackie’s clothes in the mirrored bedroom closet and now gave her a sympathetic smile.
“I can help you get it sorted out,” Carly offered, popping up from the floor, where she’d finished putting the legs back on Jackie’s coffee table.
“Well, go now,” Maria said. “This food won’t last forever without a refrigerator.”
The two friends hustled out the door, purses slung over their shoulders, while the rest of the gang stayed behind, Levi attaching her bookshelf to the wall so that Brant and April could fill it up.
It was going to take Jackie days to find everything even though the apartment was small. Too small. And not nearly sunny enough. Plus the hallway to her apartment door smelled funny, and Cole didn’t like the way her neighbor two doors down had eyed Jackie as if she was next on his dating list.
Cole had growled at the man, who’d stepped back into his apartment, locking the door. Too bad Cole wouldn’t be here on a regular basis to remind the guy to stay in his little hole and away from his girlfriend.
Although he supposed he couldn’t call her that any longer, and it was officially none of his business who she dated.
The realization gutted him, and he had to take a moment to collect himself.
By the time Jackie and Carly returned, the last box had been flattened and set out for recycling, and the women had put away the kitchenware, as well as cleaned up after the lunch they’d brought along for the helpers.
Now everyone was hugging Jackie and making their way to the door.
Too fast. It had all been too fast.
There were no more excuses to be with Jackie, to keep her in his arms, to suck out the last of being together.
With a sympathetic frown, Jenny Oliver closed the apartment door behind her, and Cole turned to Jackie. She was standing near the doorway to her minuscule kitchen, hands shoved deep in her jeans pockets. She looked exhausted and glum. They’d barely seen each other since The Goodbye, as he thought of their whiskey night in The Watering Hole, the past two weeks feeling like the longest of his life.
“Your dad moves next week?” he asked, not knowing what else to say to the woman he’d always found so easy to talk to.
She nodded.
“I heard they haven’t found anyone for your job at the feed store yet. Are you going to commute until you find something here?” He was unable to disguise the hope in his voice.
“I got an entry position at a library a few blocks from here. Karen wrote me a glowing reference. The pay sucks, but it’ll keep my head above water until I find something else.”
Jackie looked up at the ceiling, blinking as her eyes filled with tears, her chin quivering. Cole had her in his arms in a second, holding her close. He stroked her hair, wanting to kiss her strawberry-scented lips. “It’ll all work out. It’ll be okay.”
“You can’t promise that,” she said, shuddering.
“I know, but it will. Only good things happen to Jackie Moorhouse.”
She gave a watery laugh. “I think the universe must have me confused with someone else then.”
He tipped her chin up and dropped the sweetest of kisses on her lips. “The universe has never known what to do with you because you’re able to blast your way through any wall.” He stroked her cheek with a thumb, knowing that living in San Antonio was the only way for Jackie, or else she would have moved a mountain to have it differently. Just like he would have. “Keep smiling, sweetheart.”
A sob broke from her, and it was like a spear driven into Cole’s chest. He’d failed her. As emotion tore him apart, he vowed that he would make this better. He didn’t know how, only that this time he was going to fight.
* * *
Exhausted, Jackie fell onto her couch, dropping her purse on the floor. Her dad was moving to the city in four days. She had gone to the new memory-care facility after her second day at the library, to finalize paperwork and take a box of his belongings ahead of time to help him transition. One of the facility’s residents had been having a bad day, and an hour later, his screams were still echoing through her heart.
Jackie rolled onto her side and fished her phone from her purse. Her lock screen showed a picture of her and Cole cheek to cheek, grinning into the camera. She missed him. She missed everything about him, from the way he made her laugh, to feeling safe and secure, to being loved and cared for.
She turned onto her back again, setting her phone on her stomach. The ceiling above her was marked and stained. In the distance she heard sirens, and someone shuffling down the hallway. The sounds of the city were different, foreign, making her feel more alone.
Goose, who had barely left her bedroom since the move, came padding in, jumped up on the end of the couch and curled up on her feet.
Last night, Daisy-Mae, Jenny, Karen and Carly had made a foray into the city, scooping her up and taking her out for Tex-Mex near the Alamo. It was as though they’d known she’d need the soothing effect of friends after her first day in a new job, miles from everything familiar.
Not that she’d admit it to Karen, but the library work was mind-numbingly boring. Nobody was chatty, and there had been no interruptions like at the feed store in Sweetheart Creek, where someone she knew was always filtering through with a hello and some news. In the library, she’d spent the entire day taking stacks of books from the reshelving cart and placing them back where they belonged.
But it was an income. Money that would keep her close to her father.
As homesickness threatened to overwhelm her, she sat up and started making a mental list of ways she could make the city feel like it was her home. Instead of returning to Sweetheart Creek on the weekend like she’d planned, she was going to stay in her new neighborhood. She was going to introduce herself to at least one of her neighbors, even if she had to set up a chair in the hallway and wait for someone to come by. She was going to have coffee in the coffee shop down the block and learn the name of one barista, and fill in ten new job applications.
Take the city by the horns, show the universe she was going to blast through walls, like Cole believed she could.
She lifted her phone again as she lay back on the couch, her eyes watering as she took in her lock screen photo once again. Squeezing her phone, Jackie closed her eyes and made a secret wish, hoping that what Cole said about her and the universe was true. And that someday, somehow, she’d find her way back to the man she loved.
* * *
“You’re okay with Jackie moving to the city?”
Cole looked up from where he was holding a calf against the Texas soil so Brant could quickly check its tag. His brother nodded and Cole released the animal, which skittered and bolted back to the herd. The brothers were a fast team, a necessity to keep them safe in case a calf’s mother charged.
“I forgot I was her keeper,” Cole retorted. “Maybe I should ask if you’re okay with Jackie leaving.”
He was well aware that he was once again “single,” and that fact might make his brother nervous if he listened to the local gossip. All it had taken was for Cole to sit with April and Kurt for a minute or two in the diner yesterday, while waiting for Brant. Voilà! Rumors and speculation had started.
“I’m fine,” Brant said, an edge to his voice.
“You know I’m not interested in April.”
His brother chuckled, his spine relaxing again. “I know.”
“What’s that tone supposed to mean?” He’d seen the look on Brant’s face when Cole had walked through the ranch house door on Christmas Day. His brother hadn’t been happy to see him. Usually the most warm and welcoming one in the family, Brant was still a tad aloof with him. Plus he hadn’t matched Cole with a dog yet, which was telling.
“Nothing.” Brant closed his medical bag and strapped it to his saddle. Wordlessly the brothers mounted their horses and began the ride back to the ranch.
The silence ate at Cole. “Jackie moving wasn’t my decision.”
“The two of you looked like you were in it for the long haul.”
It had felt like it, too. They hadn’t ever fought, like he had with April. With her it had always felt like he was on quicksand, and one false move would get him sucked in. Being with Jackie had been so easy it had been almost surreal. Was it because they’d built their relationship on a fake foundation?
He didn’t think so. They’d started off fake, but everything from that first kiss onward had been real for him. They’d told themselves it was pretend so they could protect themselves from their fears.
Yet he had hurt her, just as he’d predicted. But instead of a fight hurting her, he’d done the opposite and not fought. Which made no sense. He’d been so careful with her, striving to not repeat his past mistakes. And he’d still blown it.
He could have gone the distance with Jackie. And now she was in San Antonio and he was here.
“You’re not going to do something long-distance?” Brant asked.
“It wasn’t real. Not like that.” He waited for his brother to argue, holding his breath, hoping. “Easy come, easy go.”
The words felt like a lie, heavy in his chest.
“It was real, and it scares you.” They were heading up a short embankment and Brant’s horse leaped ahead, taking the slope in bounds. At the top, Brant turned and waited. Cole’s horse had aged in the years he’d been away, and was now slower, more careful.
“You love her?” Brant said, making it a question. “And you’re letting her go, why?”
Cole rubbed his face and scratched his ear. “Let’s not do this, okay?” He guided his horse along the top of the embankment and toward the gate that would lead them to the farmyard.
“You and April sure did a number on each other,” Brant said. The horses ambled side by side, tired from chasing the herd all morning. Cole longed to break into a gallop and leave his brother behind. “But she’s found happiness, and she’s healing. I thought you were, too.”
“Brant,” Cole warned. He really didn’t need his brother prying into his emotions right now. Or ever.
“I thought you and Jackie had found love.”
“She needs to be in the city with her dad.”
They rode silently for a moment longer, the hooves of their horses quiet on the damp earth. Around them the countryside had come to life, green, fresh and bright, promising a new season of hope for the ranch and its prosperity.
“You were asked for space, and you gave everyone way too much,” Brant finally said, speaking of the past.
Cole sighed and gritted his teeth, tamping down emotion. “If I recall, you thought I shouldn’t.”
“You’re right, and I’m sorry about that,” he said cheerfully. “I thought you should stay with April, and I’m thankful every day that you didn’t listen to me.” He grinned, and Cole couldn’t help but release some of his own tension as a result. His brother was happy. Good coming from the bad. Life was working out for two people he loved. That should be enough.
Even if the powers that be didn’t seem to think it was his time to find the same.
“But with Jackie…” Brant grew quiet.
“What about her?” Cole asked at long last, knowing he was taking the bait by asking his brother for more of his thoughts on the matter of his ill-fated romance.
“I don’t think she needs or wants space. The opposite, maybe.”
“I have responsibilities here.”
“Family is important,” Brant agreed quietly, his blue eyes searching Cole’s for answers.
Cole’s time away from April had allowed her to become her true self. A woman who was stable and strong. He wondered what Jackie would become now that she had some time away from him. Would she change, too?
“She belongs in Sweetheart Creek,” Brant stated.
“I know.” Cole glowered at him.
“So bring her home. Or at the very least don’t lose out on everything because you think we can’t get along here without you.”
“You want me to leave?” Cole asked, watching his brother for a tell.
Brant looked as though he was dealing with an imbecile. “You don’t get it, do you?” he said at long last.
“I can’t take over her life.” April had always ridden him about doing that in their relationship. It had caused most of their fights.
“Now you decide to change?” Brant let out a frustrated growl and shook his head.
“April used to yell at me over this stuff.”
They had stopped at the gate, but instead of dismounting, Brant leaned forward, hands stacked on the saddle horn. “This is the one time you’re supposed to take charge and be that bossy so-and-so we all love to hate.”
Cole’s horse sidestepped at Brant’s gruff tone and Cole reined him back in, considering the suggestion. Brant was the brother most in tune with his feelings and those of others.
Did he really think Cole should boss Jackie around and solve her problems? Assuming there was a solution, of course.
It made no sense, though. She hadn’t asked him to stay with her.
In fact, she hadn’t asked him for anything.
Hadn’t asked anyone for anything.
Why was that?
“So I’m supposed to waltz in and tell her what to do with her life? That sounds like a good way to get a cowboy boot implanted up my butt.”
Brant laughed, swinging down from the saddle to open the gate. “Go solve her problems, Cole. Jackie needs it.” Their gazes met as Cole led Brant’s horse through the gate alongside his own. “Jackie needs you.”
The words echoed through his mind for the rest of the ride back to the stable.
* * *
“Hon, maybe it’s time to give up on him.” Mrs. Fisher looked worried, her eyebrows pinched together.
Jackie lifted her elbows off the diner’s back counter and straightened her spine, trying to pull herself together. It just felt like so much effort to remain upbeat. She’d been in the city for a few days now and had given up on her Sunday task list of applying for jobs. Instead, she’d climbed into her car and driven out to Riverbend to visit her dad, whose moving date had been switched to Thursday. He’d slept the entire time she was there.
Feeling down, Jackie had continued on to Sweetheart Creek in hopes that her old hometown would boost her spirits. She hadn’t told Cole she was coming. She hadn’t told anyone.
“It’s not about Cole,” she said to Mrs. Fisher. But it was. She missed him. Even more than this town, than her old job. She gave a lighthearted wave. “That was just… fun.”
“Your dad moves tomorrow?” Mrs. Fisher asked.
She shook her head. “They pushed the date back a few days.”
“You look down,” Laura said, sliding onto the stool beside her. “I like your outfit.” She took in Jackie’s pajama pants and T-shirt, her messy ponytail. “Um, your boots, I mean.”
“I feel like I got run over, then dragged through the mud,” Jackie admitted.
“But it’s not about Cole,” Mrs. Fisher stated, her tone saying she disagreed.
“Then it’s probably just the effect of learning that such a long-standing crush wasn’t real?” Laura’s voice lifted in question. Jackie caught her giving Mrs. Fisher a worried glance. “You know, like, uh… disappointment? Like when you meet a hot actor in real life and it turns out he’s actually short.”
“It was just a crush,” Jackie confirmed, then tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “I’m over it.”
“You were chasing the idea of that man for a lot of years, Jackie. It was bound to happen.” Mrs. Fisher’s lips pulled into a thin line. “Best to mosey on down the line to the next one, dear. Put Cole Wylder in your rearview mirror.”
Laura’s eyes filled with sympathy as she watched Jackie struggle for a cheery smile.
“Yup,” Jackie said. “That’s what I’ll do.”
“It was never real, and you’re a smart gal.” Mrs. Fisher’s tone was firm, leaving no room for argument. “Put the fantasy aside now that you’ve seen the truth.”
The problem was that she had seen the truth. Cole was special. He was the man she loved.
“It was fun, now it’s over.” Mrs. Fisher slapped her dish towel on the counter in front of Jackie and she jumped. “You’ve wasted too much time brooding over a man who probably would have run away in the end, anyway. Where’s the Jackie we know?”
She nodded, unable to speak.
Laura’s warm hand covered her own. “I know moving away is hard. If you need anything let me know, okay? We’re all still here for you. We don’t mind zipping down the highway to join you for a cup of coffee, or help you hang some pictures on your walls.” She lowered her voice. “Or eat chunky fudge ice cream.”
Jackie nodded, swallowing her heartbreak. She stood and exited the diner, then stared down the street, realizing she had nowhere to go. No job. No home just a few blocks away, as it had already been rented out. No boyfriend. Just an apartment an hour and a half away.
She saw the faded red Chevrolet from the Sweet Meadows Ranch round the corner by the hardware store and her heart hiccupped. She leaned forward, waiting to see who was driving. It was Maria. Jackie waved and continued toward her own car, stopping to stare at its bumper.
Maybe the thing with Cole truly had been just an infatuation or a crush, and she’d built it into something more in her head. Like the time in tenth grade when she’d thought she was going to go to college on a cheerleading scholarship, then didn’t even make the regional team.
But if she’d just built it all up in her head, then it wouldn’t hurt like this, right? She should feel as though she’d been set free by the knowledge that it had been only a crush.
Instead, all she felt was hurt.
She straightened her shoulders. Even if it had ended quickly, Cole had been worth it. He’d been even better than her fantasies, and now that she knew what love felt like she could go find it in San Antonio.