I should have visited him sooner. When he was still in the hospital, for example. That’s what kept going through my mind while I was on my way to Guy. I attached my bicycle to a lantern pole, told my mind to be quiet and rung the doorbell. I was here now. That’s what mattered.
He grinned somewhat dumbly when he saw me. I grinned rather dumbly back at him. Then we gave each other a high five. That had been our way to say hi for fifteen years now. We had barely seen each other these past few years, but every time we did, it seemed as though we had still seen each other the day before that. We just picked up the thread again.
‘You’re looking good.’ He passed me a bottle of Jupiler.
I immediately put it to my lips. ‘Could you try to say that with less surprise in your voice?’
‘No,’ he answered with a straight face.
I punched him on the shoulder. He grimaced from the pain.
‘Oops.’
‘No worries,’ he grinned. ‘I guess I just don’t have to be such a wally.’ He demonstratively waved the bottle of water he was holding. ‘And I won’t be having any alcohol anytime soon either.’
‘I wouldn’t have minded a glass of water either, you know.’
Guy rubbed his temple. For some reason, I always thought he looked attractive when he did so. ‘Since when?’
‘Since I’m no longer a student.’
‘Right.’ He took another large gulp of water. ‘Well, you get used to it. As long as I don’t drown.’
We were just joking. Guy was a man of small talk and often predictable jokes, that weren’t always as funny. And yet you always laughed about them. Because it was Guy. When there was a silence, I asked: ‘Tell me, what has actually happened?’
He shrugged his shoulders. ‘Oh, nothing.’
‘You don’t end up in the hospital due to nothing.’
‘My kidneys were blocked, that’s all,’ he said nonchalantly.
‘Just out of the blue?’
‘Because of the pain killers.’
‘Why were you taking pain killers?’
Guy grinned. ‘Against the pain.’
‘Ha ha,’ I uttered sarcastically.
He ran a hand through his hair, seemed to hesitate whether or not he would continue, and finally took a seat on the couch. I sat down next to him, ready for whatever would come. Guy preferred standing up when he talked. When he sat down, you knew something serious was coming.
‘I’ve been suffering from muscle aches for a few months. According to the doctor, it’s psychosomatic. No clue what he means by that, but I can assure you, it’s darn annoying. So, even though I was skeptical at first when my doctor prescribed me heavy pain killers, I did decide to take them in the end. I mean, this pain – it starts eating away at you. I don’t have to tell you about it.’
Indeed, he didn't have to tell me. I laid my hand on the tattoo on his arm, which I had always liked. He smiled faintly and looked past me. ‘Jesus, Carine, the past months, I’ve began to realize just how much you must have suffered all this time. To be quite honest, and I hope I’m not being too harsh, but I had no clue. I thought that, that –’
‘That I was exaggerating? That it was all in my head? That it all wasn't that bad?’
‘No. Yes. I do know you’re tough and that you’re not crazy or anything. But I just couldn’t imagine how bad it really was, how this pain really turns your life upside down. If I had known, I would have supported you more. And then that prick, Koen, who left you.’
I pulled back my hand. Koen was a colleague of Guy, I had met him through Guy. ‘I don’t want to talk about Koen.’
He pulled a long face. ‘Me neither, trust me. I gave him a piece of my mind not too long ago, by the way. He didn’t take it that well.’
‘Let me guess: he called you negative?’
‘Something like that. But that’s not what this is about. It’s about me not being able to deal with the pain. I’m not as strong as you are, Carine. I’ve learned that much. I was taking heavy pain killers for months. I had my doubts, though, whether that was such a good idea, and when I consulted doctor Google, I discovered that you can never take painkillers for a long period of time. When I told that to my specialist, he got angry. He assured me that a lot of people took these pain killers and that there were no noteworthy side effects. When I expressed my doubts, he angrily asked me if I had ever studied medicine.’
‘What an arrogant man.’
‘A real jerk. But anyway, I had no choice either way. Without those pain killers, I couldn’t get any sleep. So I kept taking them. Until they had to take me to the emergency service due to a kidney blockage. It was bad. After more than a week, I was allowed to leave the hospital. Now I’m seeing a physiotherapist, where I’m having therapy on an andullation mattress, amongst other things.
‘On a what?’
‘One of those mattresses that vibrates. It helps you strengthen your muscles.’
‘Ah, I see.’ I had heard about those once, during my many searches on Google.
‘You know what the weird thing was? At a certain moment, the doctor who was treating me asked me why I had taken pain killers for such a long period. When I told him my specialist had assured me that it would cause no harm, he grabbed his phone and called him, right then and there. He was furious. He called my specialist a murderer.’
I laughed. ‘Damn.’
Guy looked at me seriously. ‘He was right, though. If things went differently, I might not have been here anymore.’
I stopped laughing. I laid my hand on his arm again. We both looked at it. I would tell him about the supplements later, but right now, I just wanted to enjoy his presence.