DEALING WITH SICKNESS, LAZINESS, AND DISTRACTION
25
When I am sick with chronic ulcers or edema,
It is the weapon of destructive karma returning on me
For wrongfully and with no conscience using others’ possessions;
From now on I will renounce such acts as plundering others’ possessions.
WE MAY HAVE a chronic illness or health problem we cannot shake. This isn’t simply bad luck; it is related to our past actions. We wrongfully and with no conscience used others’ possessions. Perhaps we stole others’ belongings, used them without asking permission, borrowed others’ possessions and did not return them. We may have misused what others loaned us or taken what is shared property as our own. Financial advisors, bankers, and stockbrokers must pay special attention to this. Misusing others’ money or challenging the economic well-being of the country due to greed is irresponsible. Although one may temporarily be rich in this life, such behavior will lead to having chronic health problems or living in dire poverty in future lives.
Stealing from the Three Jewels is a particularly heavy destructive karma. Someone may take food, money, or jewelry on the altar that was offered to the Buddha. Misusing possessions of the monastic community—for example, borrowing books from their library and not returning them or wastefully using resources when we do a task for the sangha—is heavy destructive karma because this is a large group of people who are intent on virtue. To purify this karma, we must return the object to the same group of people.
Monastics misuse offerings made to them by accepting food, clothing, shelter, medicine, and other items but not keeping their precepts properly. Since these offerings were made with respect and faith in the Three Jewels, it is important to use them wisely, without wasting them or using them frivolously. For this reason, before each meal monastics contemplate the causes and conditions and the kindness of others entailed in receiving the food they eat. We eat mindfully, without complaining about the food, and dedicate our merit for the donors’ well-being afterward.
From now on I will renounce acts such as plundering others’ possessions. If we keep accounts for a business, we need to be scrupulous. If someone donates money to a Dharma center, monastery, or temple, it must be used for the purpose the donor indicated. If a donor gave money for the medical needs of the monastics, it must be used in that way. If we want to change the purpose, we must explain the situation to the donors and ask their permission to do so. Respecting others’ possessions creates peace and trust among people.
26
When my body is struck suddenly by contagious disease,
It is the weapon of destructive karma turning upon me
For committing acts that undermine my solemn pledges;
From now on I will renounce nonvirtue.
The previous verse referred to chronic illness, while this verse concerns acute diseases that arise suddenly and forcefully, for example, contracting Ebola or SARS, or having an accident. This is due to committing acts that undermine our solemn pledges.
Solemn pledges refer specifically to tantric precepts and commitments, but they also include the five precepts, monastic ethical restraints, and bodhisattva ethical restraints. When we take precepts and commitments, we make a promise in the presence of our spiritual mentor and the Three Jewels, and try to honor our word as best we can. Of course, if we could keep the precepts and commitments perfectly, we would not need to take them. Being sentient beings with afflictions, we will commit infractions, but we should do our best to keep our precepts and commitments well and to purify any transgressions.
In his treatise Bodhisattva Bhumi (Bodhisattva Stages), the third-century Indian sage Asanga described four doors through which downfalls occur: (1) ignorance, not knowing the boundary of what does and does not constitute a downfall; (2) lack of respect for the precepts and commitments, the Three Jewels, and so forth, even if we know the boundaries; (3) lack of conscientiousness, mindfulness, and introspective awareness, even if we have respect; and (4) being overwhelmed by strong afflictions, even when we know the precepts and commitments, respect them, and and are conscientious. Thus it is important to (1) study, so we know the precepts and commitments as well as what constitutes a downfall; (2) develop respect for them and for ethical conduct in general by considering the advantages of keeping our precepts and commitments, and disadvantages of transgressing them; (3) cultivate conscientiousness, mindfulness, and introspective awareness, so we will remember our precepts and commitments; and (4) practice the antidotes to the various afflictions, so we’ll be able to counteract them when they arise.
Sometimes we transgress our precepts. It is important to confess our misdeeds and purify them by means of the four opponent powers in order to prevent or lessen the unpleasant result we will experience as a result of doing them. As mentioned before, the four opponent powers are (1) having regret (not guilt) for our harmful actions of body, speech, and mind; (2) taking refuge and generating bodhicitta to transform our attitude toward those whom we have harmed, holy beings and sentient beings, and in this way strive to restore the relationship with them; (3) making a determination to avoid doing the action again; and (4) engaging in remedial actions, such as making prostrations or offerings, reciting mantras or the names of buddhas, meditating on bodhicitta or on the emptiness of inherent existence, offering service and volunteering at charities, and so forth. Another way to purify is to do the taking-and-giving meditation. Instead of pushing suffering away, what better way to purify our self-preoccupation and self-grasping than to take on the suffering of others and to give them our joy and happiness?
In particular, many monastic precepts can be restored by the fortnightly posadha practice. Bodhisattva precepts can be retaken in the presence of our spiritual mentor or by visualizing the buddhas and bodhisattvas and reciting the verse of engaging bodhicitta. Tantric precepts and commitments can be restored by taking the empowerment again, doing the self-empowerment practice after doing the retreat and concluding practices, or reciting the Vajrasattva mantra one hundred thousand times.
Before adopting any ethical restraint or commitment, we need to be properly prepared and think carefully about whether we are ready to assume these. Nowadays some people want to receive tantric empowerments but do not know that receiving empowerments entails taking certain precepts or commitments. They want to receive high practices and advanced teachings but do not want to relinquish killing, stealing, unwise or unkind sexual behavior, lying, or taking intoxicants—five activities that even secular people can see the disadvantages of doing. This is like constructing the roof of a building before the foundation and the walls. We’ll waste a lot of energy and only have a mess to show for it.
Some people feel pressured to take tantric empowerments when their friends say, “You must take it, because you never know when you’ll have this opportunity again!” As a result they take precepts and commitments that that they are unprepared to keep. After a while, they say, “I’ve taken tantric precepts and commitments but don’t want to keep them anymore. Tantric practice is too advanced for me at this moment. Can I give them back?” This is difficult, because they have taken these from now until full awakening.
We can make a resolution: from now on I will renounce nonvirtue. We should do our best to keep our precepts and commitments, including our refuge guidelines and the five lay precepts. Following them improves our practice, enables our relationships to be harmonious, and prevents guilt and regret. We should not regard precepts, commitments, or guidelines as an unwanted tax that we have to pay, but as something that furthers our practice. They bring to our attention aspects of behavior that we may never have considered before. Keeping them well protects us from engaging in behavior that we have already decided we do not want to do.
27
When my intellect becomes ignorant in all fields of knowledge,
It is the weapon of destructive karma turning upon me
For persisting in activities that must be cast aside;
From now on I will cultivate the insights of learning and so on.
Sometimes when we sit down to study, our mind is dull, drowsy, or distracted, and nothing goes in. We listen to teachings or read texts but cannot remember the points, and when we do analytic meditation, we don’t reach the proper conclusion. This is due to persisting in activities that must be cast aside, such as procrastinating in our Dharma practice or not taking the teachings seriously. We may think, “I’ve heard this teaching before, so I don’t need to hear it again,” “I’m tired and will meditate tomorrow,” or “I’ll start the preliminary practices when I have a better situation.” Meanwhile we seek entertainment and get distracted by our smartphones, the Internet, and the latest computerized widget. Numbed by information overload, our ability to engage in critical thinking declines. This leaves us no interest or time to listen, reflect, and meditate on the Dharma, increasing our ignorance while cluttering our mind with useless information about things that lack enduring meaning or purpose.
As Dharma practitioners, we need to know something about current events and how the world operates so that we can be responsible global citizens. It is also helpful so that we can give examples relevant to people’s lives when discussing the Dharma. We can apply the lamrim—the stages of the path to awakening—to current events. For example, contemplating the causes of war, we see that attachment and anger play major roles. Self-centeredness that focuses on our immediate happiness makes us ignore the future results of not caring for our environment now. The changing relationships among countries is an excellent example of the foolishness of having attachment to friends, hostility toward enemies, and apathy for strangers. It reminds us that having care and concern for all parties equally makes much more sense in the long term. Witnessing the misery in the world reminds us of the importance of observing karma and its effects.
Looking closely, we may see that we’re involved with many activities that must be cast aside. For example, we may make decisions according to worldly values: How can I make the most money? Which situation will be the most comfortable for me? We may neglect the Dharma in order to advance our career or to have a relationship. In short, we get distracted and engage in actions that will not bring us ultimate happiness, thus relinquishing the opportunities that Dharma study and practice bring us.
This doesn’t mean we’re “bad” people or “failures.” We’re doing the best we can. However, we need to be responsible for our choices and our actions. No one else makes us ignorant. By making decisions and engaging in activities with a worldly perspective, we bring obstacles upon ourselves. Confusion about how to live a meaningful life is the result of not having studied and thought about the Dharma in the past. The recommendation to solve this problem is to cultivate the insights of learning and so on. We begin with learning—hearing Dharma teachings and studying texts. Then we reflect on what we have learned to eliminate doubts and misconceptions and to understand it correctly. Third, we meditate on the material, integrating it with our mindstreams so that it effects a stable change in us.
Understanding what is and is not Dharma is important in order to engage in learning, reflecting, and meditating. We may think somebody who is studying Dharma day and night, memorizing scriptures, and debating their topics is practicing Dharma. However, if his motivation is to learn the Dharma in order to become a famous, wealthy, or influential teacher, that person is not practicing Dharma, no matter how many students she has.
Creating the causes for a fortunate rebirth, aspiring for liberation, or aiming for full awakening in order to benefit all sentient beings most effectively are genuine Dharma motivations. It takes time and practice to cultivate and stabilize these motivations so that they arise spontaneously. In the meantime we consciously cultivate bodhicitta each morning and before beginning new activities during the day by either briefly recalling the meditations to generate bodhicitta or by contemplating the meaning of a verse such as the following:
I take refuge until I am awakened in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha.
By the merit I create by practicing generosity and the other perfections, may I attain buddhahood in order to benefit all sentient beings.
28
When I am overwhelmed by sloth while practicing the Dharma,
It is the weapon of destructive karma turning upon me
For amassing obscurations to the sublime Dharma;
From now on I will undergo hardships for the sake of the Dharma.
Many people have had the experience of sitting down to meditate and starting to nod off. For others, laziness prevents getting to the meditation cushion. We may have had a good night’s sleep, but our mind is dull and cannot focus on the meditation object.
This is related to amassing obscurations to the sublime Dharma by looking down on learned people and sincere practitioners. In particular, we denigrated the sangha, not appreciating what they do and their importance in preserving and spreading the Buddha’s teachings. For example, sometimes we hear people say, “The sangha is patriarchal, hierarchical, and rigid; we don’t need it anymore. Monastics don’t want to work and expect us to support them.” Disparaging those who are earnestly trying to practice the Dharma obscures our mind and in future lives prevents us from being born where the sangha is present.
We also amass obscurations with respect to the Dharma by not respecting the texts that describe the true cessations and true paths to awakening. We put our Dharma books on the floor, set our coffee cups on top of them, and step over them. We would never treat our paycheck that way! We put it in a clean place and take good care of it. It seems we respect and appreciate money, credit cards, and checks much more than scriptures containing the Buddha’s liberating words.
Think about how difficult it is to find Buddhist scriptures in many places in the world. Imagine having a keen interest in the Dharma but not having access to spiritual mentors, scriptures, or others who know the teachings. Perhaps we live in an impoverished country or a place where there is constant warfare or a country that doesn’t allow freedom of religion. Disrespecting the sangha, scriptures, statues of the Buddha, or our spiritual mentors is the kind of action that causes us to be reborn in that situation.
To purify this destructive karma and establish new patterns of behavior, we resolve to undergo hardships for the sake of Dharma. We are willing to undergo whatever hardships we encounter along the path, using the thought-training teachings to transform adversity into the path and to eliminate our obscurations to the sublime Dharma. Siddhārta Gautama and Atisha gave up luxurious lives in royal palaces to become renunciates and practice the Dharma. To have the freedom to study and practice the Dharma, my own teachers fled Tibet and became refugees in India, enduring the drastic change of climate that sickened and killed many of their friends and relatives. They cleared jungle land inhabited by elephants and tigers in South India in order to reestablish their monasteries and continue their studies.
In Tibet before 1959, people from outlying areas walked for months, risking bandits and cold, in order to study at the three great monasteries in central Tibet. There were no covered wagons, let alone cars, trains, and planes. People were willing to walk, ride a yak, or even prostrate the entire way to Lhasa.
Since there weren’t any Tibetan Buddhist centers in the United States when I met the Dharma, I had to move to Nepal and India. The monasteries were extremely poor in those days, with no running water or indoor plumbing, poor food, and limited medicine. The Kopan meditation course was held in a tent with flea-infested straw mats covering the dirt floor. We lived in rundown buildings and got sick with hepatitis, dysentery, and flu. Visa problems interrupted our studies and retreats. But those of us who turned up really wanted to learn and practice the Buddha’s teachings. The Dharma rang true in our hearts, and we wanted to become like the remarkable teachers we met.
This ability to undergo hardships for the Dharma is important. It makes our mind strong, and we come to appreciate our opportunities and use them wisely. When things are too easy, we often take them for granted and become lazy. Nowadays, we are pampered and spoiled. We complain that it takes too long to drive half an hour to the Dharma center or that we’ll have to miss a social event to go to Dharma class or wake up fifteen minutes earlier to meditate in the morning.
We lead such busy lives that we want the Dharma to come to us on our terms, when it is convenient and for the right amount of time. Our teachers should come to where we live; they should start and finish on time because our calendar is full; someone else should prepare the site before teachings.
When we cherish the Dharma, we are willing to undergo hardship because we know it is for a good purpose. What keeps us from undergoing hardships for the sake of Dharma? It is attachment to the happiness of this life, self-centered thought, and self-grasping ignorance. Realizing these are the real enemies that keep us trapped in cyclic existence, we learn and practice the antidotes to them. When we are not fixed on the happiness of only this life, undergoing hardships becomes easy. In fact, we cease seeing circumstances that we can’t tolerate as uncomfortable or inconvenient because now our mind is filled with joy and enthusiasm for the Dharma.
Many years ago, I went to the place in Tibet where Je Tsongkhapa did 3.5 million prostrations, and saw the imprint of his body, which is visible on the rock. When we prostrate, we put carpet and pillows under our knees to make ourselves comfortable or have a nice prostration board. Je Tsongkhapa made mandala offerings using a rock as the base plate. As a result, his forearm became raw and bled. You can see outlines of flowers and sacred syllables that appeared spontaneously in that rock.
Thinking of practitioners who were willing to undergo that level of hardship gives us more energy to practice the Dharma purely. However, we should not go to the opposite extreme and deliberately inflict suffering on ourselves, thinking we are macho Dharma practitioners. That is just ego. Whenever someone at Kopan Monastery tried to do that, Lama Yeshe would stop them. One Western monk slept on the cold brick floors. When Lama saw this, he scolded the monk, “Stop going on a Milarepa trip! Get a mattress!”
What is hardship for one person is not hardship for another. We need to be flexible to deal with whatever we encounter. For some people, being alone is easy; for others, it is difficult. For some people, living in community is easy; for others, it is hardship. Whatever is hardship according to our own personal karma is what we need to be willing to work with.
29
When I delight in afflictions and am greatly distracted,
It is the weapon of destructive karma turning upon me
For not contemplating impermanence and the defects of cyclic existence;
From now on I will increase my disenchantment with cyclic existence.
When we meditate, read, or listen to teachings, memories and daydreams sometimes pop into our minds. Afflictions then arise and take us away from our virtuous activities. Distracted by attachment, we imagine being wealthy, famous, loved, and honored. Mixing attachment in with the Dharma, we daydream about the retreats we’re going to do, the extraordinary meditation experiences we’ll have, and the respect others will give us afterward. Distracted by anger or revenge, we mull over our problems, mentally enumerate others’ faults, and plan how to get even for a wrong done to us. When we’re doing socially engaged work in the community, doubt distracts us, making us wonder if what we’re doing will bring good results.
When these hindrances erupt, it is due to not contemplating impermanence and the defects of cyclic existence and consequently still nurturing the hope that samsaric enjoyments will bring us lasting joy. Meditating on impermanence and the defects of cyclic existence deflates these unrealistic daydreams, making our mind sober and clear and increasing our disenchantment with cyclic existence.
Many people avoid hearing teachings and meditating on impermanence and the faults of cyclic existence. They would rather meditate on love and compassion, which makes them feel good. They prefer to meditate on Chenrezig or another deity, doing a beautiful visualization and reciting mantras. Some people first turn their energy toward dzogchen or mahamudra meditation because they are said to lead to the highest meditative states. Our self-centeredness prefers to do meditations that leave us feeling light and blissful.
Yet, the reality is that without understanding gross and subtle impermanence—death and the momentary nature of all things—insight into the nature of reality will evade us. Why? Without awareness of our own mortality, our priorities remain murky and our Dharma practice lacks strength and consistency. Contemplating our own transient nature clarifies our purpose in life. It also begins to tear down the ego structure we have spent our life creating, maintaining, and protecting. Meditation on death and impermanence prepares us for the time when we will have to separate from our relatives, friends, bodies, and possessions.
Personally, I find the sobering effect of meditating on impermanence, death, and the disadvantages of cyclic existence a relief. These reflections enable us to see the reality of our lives, and the more our minds are in accord with reality, the greater their clarity, calm, and enthusiasm. For example, creature comforts may be nice, but they do not bring ultimate happiness. The same applies to fantastic personal relationships, marvelous possessions, and fame, praise, and honor. Not only do these things disappear later on, but having them doesn’t guarantee happiness right now. Our experience shows us that: We fear losing the good things we have and worry that someone else may have more and better. Anxiety lurks in the back of our mind; we are apprehensive that our lives will fall apart. Even when we are in good situations, we cannot relax and enjoy them. When they end, we get angry and upset, claiming that life is cruel to us.
Cyclic existence is like a prison, but as long as we see it as a luxury hotel complete with spa, sports, and entertainment, we will not want to leave. When we see the prison as prison, we want to get out. The aspiration for liberation from cyclic existence is an essential motivation on the path. Without it, generating bodhicitta is impossible. Thus, to progress spiritually we have to be willing to do these initial meditations that shake up our solid notion of the world and our place in it. But the more we do them, the more we see the truth in the Buddha’s teachings and want to cultivate our good qualities and counteract our bad habits.
30
When I continue to regress despite all my efforts,
It is the weapon of destructive karma turning upon me
For defying karma and the laws of cause and effect;
From now on I will strive to accumulate merit.
Sometimes we find ourselves in situations that get worse no matter what we do. We work hard to run a business but go bankrupt. We save our money for retirement, and then the stock market falls. Despite our efforts, our personal growth doesn’t coincide with that of the people we love. Treasured relationships disintegrate. We do not get the recognition we think we earned or the love we believe we deserve. Spiritually, we start to make some progress, and then laziness overwhelms us and we abandon our daily meditation practice; or our minds become foggy, and we cannot concentrate.
When this happens, instead of lamenting, we can recognize that in the past we did not take karma and its effects seriously. We may have intellectually understood how karma operates, but living our lives as if we really believed that our actions have an ethical dimension and condition our future experiences would challenge many of our habits and preferences.
If we really took the teachings on karma to heart, we would be more generous with our possessions and finances. We would not be so eager to retaliate when people harmed us. We would make an effort to meditate daily, because we would be certain of the benefits. We would make decisions based on sounder criteria: “Which option would enhance my ethical conduct? Which option would facilitate generating bodhicitta and enable me to be of greater benefit to others? Which option would have more conducive circumstances for understanding emptiness and its compatibility with dependent arising?”
To rectify the situation, we make a determination: from now on I will strive to accumulate merit—constructive karma. To do this, upon waking each morning, we generate the positive motivation not to harm others, to benefit them as much as possible, and to hold bodhicitta as our long-term motivation. Throughout the day, we continue to remind ourselves of this motivation and act according to it. It can be helpful to use an event that happens frequently during the day to remind us of our positive motivations. For example, every time before you read a text, recall the aspiration to benefit others, and every time you get in a vehicle recall the wish not to harm anyone. One woman told me that every time her child cried out, “Mommy, come here!” she paused and reminded herself not to get stressed. If we practice like this, then if somebody cuts us off on the highway, instead of jamming the horn and swearing at the person, we say, “Please go ahead.” We get there one car later; it does not matter.
To make our practice effective, we must be willing to wrestle with our stubborn self-centeredness and the wrong conceptions we hold so dearly. We have to see the benefits that come from applying Dharma antidotes to our anger and attachment, instead of simply caving in to these afflictions. Undergoing hardship is not about living in a cave and eating nettle soup, like Milarepa. The hardship of working with our obstinate minds can sometimes make living in a cave look easy! But with consistent mind training, our compassion and wisdom will overcome all obstacles.