By the end of their dinner, Jack was convinced that his father was right. It was the only thing that made sense. He retired to bed with the Bible in his hands. As a child, he had read the Old Testament but now, it was as though he was reading a completely different book. Past readings of the Old Testament had never evoked such emotion in him before. He could almost feel the Lord’s presence in his room. He no longer felt like he was reading words on a page. It felt like the Lord himself was sat on the end of his bed speaking directly to him. Charging him with this most important mission.
Jack drank in the commands. Romans chapter 13: verse 4: For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.
Closing the Bible, Jack laid there staring up at the ceiling. He felt happiness stirring inside him. Elsie’s death had exsanguinated him but this knowledge that there was a reason for her death, that he was God’s disciple with a vital mission, was now returning the blood to his body, bringing him back to life.
Waking up the next morning, Jack felt rejuvenated. He had slept a dreamless sleep without a single image of Elsie plaguing his mind. His father came into the room and saw the smile on Jack’s face and returned it.
‘Praise be to the Lord, my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle,’ recited Jack.
‘That’s my boy,’ he said and he turned and left the room.
Jack was revitalised by a sense of purpose and almost leapt out of bed. He was ready to do God’s work. He just needed a plan. As he made his way downstairs, he could hear bacon sizzling in the pan, the smell perfuming the whole house. His heart lurched as he saw his father and not Elsie. The pain was strong but no longer as debilitating. Not now he understood why she was gone. He almost felt closer to her. That her spirit was following him, spurring him on. She had spent her whole life doing God’s work. Working in the inner city with her parents supporting the homeless. Volunteering for more groups and charities than Jack could remember. She would approve of him doing God’s work. He just knew she would be proud of him for not letting his grief destroy him.
‘Morning, Father.’
Jack took his place at the table and his father placed a bacon sandwich in front of him. The thick bread coated liberally with butter and what looked like an entire packet of bacon inside. He could just picture Elsie’s disapproving face. As they advanced in years, so too did her obsession with health and living longer. Which to her meant not eating the things you loved.
‘This looks lovely, Father. Thank you.’
His father sat down and smiled.
‘It’s fine. You need feeding up.’
Jack inhaled his sandwich in a few bites. Bitterly disappointed when it was gone. His father raised his eyebrows. Jack smiled sheepishly.
‘It’s been a long time since I’ve had a bacon sandwich. Elsie was trying to make us eat healthier. You know she once even tried to make me eat Facon. Some weird fake bacon she thought was healthier. It tasted like fried cardboard.’
His father barked with laughter.
‘You can’t beat proper meat. God intended us to be carnivores. It makes my blood boil when I see all these vegans and vegetarians bleating on. It’s God’s will for us to eat meat. It’s the circle of life.’ He thumped his hand on the table, a full stop to his rant. Jack smiled inwardly. This was more like it. His father’s rants had been a daily occurrence through his childhood. It was nice to know that side of him was still there. Jack had been feeling wary living with this version of his father who seemed kind, thoughtful and caring. It was nice but so unlike the father he had grown up with. It was good to see a more familiar side of him.
Jack agreed with his father and they both sat in a companionable silence enjoying their breakfast. Finishing his cup of tea, Jack wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with his day. It felt like the first day of the rest of his life. Every action he took needed to be momentous and fulfilling his new purpose. But he was at a loss of how to start.
‘Father, about what we decided last night. You know, about me doing God’s work.’ It sounded so silly when he said it out loud. Who was he to decide he was capable of doing God’s work? It felt like announcing he had decided he was a superhero.
‘What about it?’
‘Well. How?’
‘What do you mean how?’
‘What am I supposed to do? How do I go about ridding the world of greed? I don’t even know where to start.’
‘Son, God has charged you with this mission, he will show you the way. You just need to watch for a sign. He will give you one and you’ll know it when you see it.’
It wasn’t very much to go on.
‘What sort of sign?’
His father bristled. His mug of tea paused in the air as he stared at Jack with flashing eyes.
‘For Pete’s sake. Why do you insist on being so impatient? God will reveal your path to you when it is time. Not when you want him to. Just wait.’
Jack felt his heart hammering in his chest. He may be in his fifties but he had not forgotten how easily his father could succumb to violence. Instantly, he was reminded of the hole in the ground that only lay a few metres from him outside. He hung his head, chastised.
Jack’s mobile phone interrupted them. The old-school ringtone piercing the room, a sound Elsie was forever complaining about. Susan’s name flashed across the screen. He sighed. Susan had been their first friend when they had moved to Winterford. They had not even had time to unlock the door for the first time when Susan had appeared from nowhere like a ghost. Back then she had been a leggy blonde with two toddlers clutching each of her legs. Elsie had fallen in love with all three of them at first sight.
Susan’s husband, Tim, had passed many years ago and the loss encouraged her to embed herself firmly in their lives. Elsie became Susan’s emotional crutch and Jack a reluctant surrogate husband to lift anything heavy and fix leaky taps. He had given up being irritated by Susan a long time ago, realising she was like a small splinter he couldn’t remove so then the skin had grown over it. Reluctantly accepting her as an interloper that could not be excised. To be fair to Susan, she had taken the loss of Elsie almost as hard as him. They had been friends for over thirty years. Elsie had helped her raise her children and they had been inseparable most of their adult lives.
Jack stared at the phone. He didn’t want to talk to Susan. She reminded him too much of what he had lost. He needed to focus on his mission. All his attention must be on spotting the next sign that would show him what to do next. But he pushed the answer button, knowing it would be what Elsie would want him to do.
‘Jack. Darling. How are you?’
‘Hello, Susan. I’m holding up, how are you?’
‘Dreadful, it still hasn’t sunk in. I haven’t been able to work, I can’t sleep, I’m a wreck. You are so lucky you don’t have to work. I just can’t face other people. They don’t understand. I need to be around people that understand how much I miss her.’
Susan began to cry. Hysterical, she was gasping for breath, her words no longer intelligible. Jack didn’t want Susan coming to his father’s home. He would never get rid of her if he did. He’d learnt the hard way that once you invited Susan in she never left. She invaded like Japanese knotweed.
‘Don’t cry, Susan. I’ll come and see you. Why don’t we go for a drink? I’ll come over today. I can meet you at the Noble at about 5pm? Is that all right?’
Susan’s hysterics stopped abruptly. The pub was Susan’s second home. Newcomers often mistook her for the landlady. The Noble Arms wouldn’t be recognisable if it didn’t have Susan propping up the bar. Elsie used to tease her saying she was a part of the furniture. It struck him that he had never been there without Elsie. In fact, now he thought about it, he hadn’t gone many places without her.
Jack had worked on a digger for a local quarry, a job Elsie’s father had managed to get him. He had slowly worked his way up until a freak accident caused by a defective piece of machinery stole his career from him. He was left with permanent damage to his knees and a large compensatory cheque. Elsie thought it was fantastic as they were set for life. The money had paid off their mortgage and there was a lot left over. But Jack had been devastated at first. He had lost his reason to get up in the morning. The pain in his knees was a constant reminder of the career he once had. But he soon realised that the accident had actually been a blessing. He got to spend every single day with Elsie. Everywhere she went, he went. But not anymore. The thought caused him to punch the wall in his bedroom. His knuckles bleeding, his blood smeared on the wall. He took bracing breaths, reminding himself that he needed this pain if he was going to succeed in his mission.