EVIE
Watching Jamie perched on top of the canopy bed in Nomad, swinging his legs back and forth, can only end one way. Before I get the word ‘Don’t!’ out of my mouth, he shouts, ‘Robo Jamie!’ and jumps.
I hold my breath, sure the daft eejit will break his legs, but he lands on his feet and laughs, delighted with himself.
‘Mam will go mad if she sees you throwing yourself off that,’ I say, but I’m grinning. That was kinda cool.
He ignores me. But I’m glad to see him having fun. He’s been miserable for ages over Pops. And as if he can read my mind, he walks over and sits down beside me on the sofa.
‘I miss Pops,’ he sighs dramatically, just to really punch home how much. I move a little closer to him on the sofa and nudge his shoulder with mine. He nudges back.
‘Me too, dude,’ I say.
We sit for ages, both lost in memories of Pops, I suppose. At least, that’s where I am.
‘Will you help me get Pops’ urn down from the shelf? I want to see what the ashes look like,’ Jamie asks.
‘Ewww. That’s gross, and no I will not,’ I say. Besides, I’ve already had a sneaky peek and I’m sorry I did. It’s so far removed from Pops that it is a head-wreck. I don’t want that for Jamie.
‘Paddy Moher says that the ashes look like cigarette ash,’ Jamie says.
‘Don’t mind Paddy Moher, they do not,’ I reply.
‘Well, I didn’t believe him, because he also said that our teacher, Mr Holt, was a werewolf,’ he sighs again. ‘He is really hairy, but I don’t think that’s true either.’
An image of Mr Holt howling at the moon pops into my head and won’t go away. Thanks Jamie.
‘Mam is being a meanie saying no to the trip,’ he complains. ‘And you know something I’ve noticed? They always fight when they go into their bedroom. I’d stay out of there if I was them.’
‘Funny guy,’ I say, and nudge his shoulder again.
‘Nothing is fun any more.’ Jamie’s eyes are locked firmly on his feet, which are kicking the floor over and over.
I place my hand on his legs to quieten them. ‘They miss Pops too. Mam’s busy with work …’ I think she gets a bad rap around here sometimes, working ridiculous hours most days. And she’s not been uncool these past few weeks with me too.
But that doesn’t excuse what’s going on right now. She needs to be more understanding with Dad. I mean, his Pops is dead. If we are in bits, he must be falling apart inside.
‘Do you want to go on this trip?’ Jamie asks.
‘I think so,’ I say. ‘I know I want to get away from here.’
‘Why?’
‘Because here sucks right now.’
‘Yeah. It sucks,’ Jamie agrees, making me laugh again.
It feels like the walls around here are closing in on me. Both Mam and Dad keep suggesting a ‘talk’. I don’t want to ‘thrash it out to move forward’ as they keep saying, I just want to forget about the whole thing. And maybe if we head off on this crazy trip, it will take the heat off me.
‘We have to find a way to change Mam’s mind,’ I say.
‘What are you guys up to?’ Dad’s voice calls in.
‘We demand a family meeting,’ Jamie declares. He’s such a drama queen.
Dad looks kind of amused by this. ‘Go on.’
‘We heard you and Mam fighting – again – about Nomad,’ Jamie says. ‘We know that Mam doesn’t want to go.’
Dad now looks a bit emotional. Oh God, don’t let him start to cry again. I can’t cope with his boohooing.
‘I’m sorry you heard us having a heated discussion,’ he informs us.
Yeah, right!
‘Okay … well it’s like this, we er think, like that as Pops went to a lot of trouble to organise the trip, it would be disrespectful not to go ahead and follow his wishes, wouldn’t it?’ I say.
‘I don’t think Pops would want us to go ahead if it meant that your mam was unhappy,’ Dad tells us.
‘But we could go ourselves,’ Jamie says.
‘Without your mam?’ Dad asks and Jamie nods.
I can feel hives beginning to pop up all over my arms now. I must look them up in my records annual. I must be breaking records as quick as I’m breaking skin here.
‘It doesn’t work that way, guys. I wouldn’t do it without your mam or you guys, for that matter. We’re a family and we stick together. If your mam doesn’t want to go, then we must respect that.’ His face is set.
‘I think you’re wrong,’ I tell him. ‘Pops had a dying wish and he said that he wants us to go to Europe and scatter his ashes and stuff. We owe him that much. You have to tell Mam, change her mind.’
‘A family meeting and nobody thought to invite me?’ Mam says, walking into the room. She looks pissed. Awkward.
I itch my legs now, wondering how soon before all the red bumps blend into one and I turn into a strawberry blob.
‘No, nothing like that,’ Dad reassures her. ‘The kids are just talking about Nomad and the trip, that’s all.’
‘I heard. You all want to go to Europe and would be happy to leave me behind.’ Mam looks upset. Oh for God’s sake, now she’s going to cry. What is it with my blubbing parents?
‘I’ve told the children we don’t go without you,’ Dad says. ‘We are not splitting the family up! We’ll go for a long weekend to wherever Pops wants his ashes scattered. That way we’ll still get to have a small trip in Nomad, Jamie.’
‘You’re a big meanie and I hate you!’ Jamie screams at Mam. I feel a bit of vomit hit the back of my throat again.
‘Nice. Turn the pressure up with emotional blackmail from the kids,’ Mam hisses at Dad.
‘I didn’t say a word,’ he hisses back.
I’ve had enough of this shit, I’m out of here. But the ragged breath of Jamie beside me as his body heaves with tears makes me pause.
‘It’s n-n-not f-f-fair,’ he stammers out.
No it isn’t. ‘Would you both stop!’ I scream. ‘Look what you’re doing to Jamie with all your fighting! I can’t take any more of it either. I wish Pops was here. He was the only one who really cared about us two. All you both care about is yourselves and scoring points off each other. We can’t take any more!’
Silence.
Jamie clasps my arm and I pull him into me. My heart is hammering so hard, my face is flushed and I hold my breath when Mam stands up. ‘Don’t say a word,’ she says to Dad and then walks out, leaving the three of us alone, with just the sound of Jamie’s tears breaking the silence. None of us move, we just stand there like statues. But then Mam walks back in, with a bundle of rucksacks in her hands. She tosses them towards our feet and they land with a dull thud and the statues jump in fright.
‘I’ve seen the storage in here and no matter how much yer man Aled dresses it up, it’s miniscule. So if we are going to last eight weeks cooped up in this thing, you get one small bag each. If it doesn’t fit in that bag, it’s not coming. Got it?’ Mam states.
Jamie stops crying. Dad looks confused. I don’t blame him, so am I. Is she saying we’re going now? Jamie jumps up and runs over to her, flinging himself into her arms, shouting, ‘We’re going? For real?’
‘Yes, for real,’ Mam says, kissing his hair.
He mutters something that sounds a bit like Robo Jamie. That boy gets weirder and weirder.
‘You want to go? You’re not just saying it?’ Dad asks.
‘I won’t lie to you. I don’t want to go. But as Evie says, Pops wants us to go. And my family all want to go. So we should go. But I reserve the right to come home at any stage if it doesn’t work out. Without any complaint from you, Olly. That’s my condition. Non-negotiable,’ Mam says.
‘Agreed,’ Dad says. Ah shit, he’s gone all emosh again.
Mam disentangles herself from Jamie’s embrace and walks over to me, kissing me on my cheek. ‘I’m so sorry for everything, Evie.’
She grabs Jamie’s hand and says, ‘Your dad and I owe you both an apology. We shouldn’t be letting our silly arguments creep into our family. We’re under a lot of stress and sometimes that makes us do things that we’re not proud of. Maybe Pops is right. Maybe we do need to simplify our lives.’
‘I’m so sorry that we made you feel that way,’ Dad says.
‘S’alright,’ I mumble.
‘This is important. Know this, we love you. More than anything else in the world. Never ever doubt that,’ Mam says, holding our hands so tight she’s hurting me.
‘Are we really going on a super, epic adventure?’ Jamie cries, wriggling away from her.
‘Yes, I think we are,’ Dad replies looking at Mam, smiling.
I can’t quite believe the turn-around. I’m still shaking from my outburst, I thought Mam would go ballistic. But she changed her mind because of something I said. And now we’re going off around Europe in this camper van! Wait till I tell Ann.
I pick up the rucksack and realise that my summer reading alone will fill it. ‘There’s no way that I can fit everything into that one little bag, Mam,’ I say.
‘We get two, just don’t tell the boys,’ she says with a wink. ‘Right, how about we all go inside, pick a movie and order a pizza?’
She’s smiling really, really brightly, more manic than happy. Maybe we’re wrong to force her to come. But Jamie is running around in circles, delirious with delight, so to hell with it, I’m going to shelve my niggling doubts. Watch out world, the Guinnesses are going on a trip.