I feel wiped out, and I don’t want to go to school. The bus arrives, and Sheralyn comes with me because today is swimming.
The pool is not as warm today as it should be. I float, but I don’t enjoy it. I feel shivery. Last week at swimming, Sarah had only been missing a day. I was sure she’d be back when I got home. Now I’m scared she’s really not coming back. I thought with the posters and Kate’s campaign and the debit card that she might be found, but there’s been no more news.
Back at home, the phone rings while we are eating dinner. If the phone rang during dinner, the rule used to be that no one answered it. The person could leave a message. Now that rule is constantly broken. The phone rings much more often than it did too. Dad jumps up and answers it. “Yes,” he says.
Then I see the color drain from his face as he listens. I can’t swallow. It’s Sarah. It has to be about Sarah. Mushed carrot sits in my mouth, and a little spills out. Sheralyn doesn’t notice. She’s looking at Dad. We all are—apart from Finn, who is busy trying to line up the carrot sticks on his plate.
“One minute,” says Dad. He gives Mom a look and goes out into the hall with the phone.
“What’s happened?” Olivia demands. “Is Sarah dead? Did someone murder her? How did they do it? Was it a knife or a gun, or did they strangle her?”
“Olivia!” Mom bellows in horror. “Be quiet!”
“I want to know!” Olivia protests.
Some mushed carrot has dripped onto my pale, cream top.
I am sure I hear Dad swear out in the hall. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him swear before. The news must be bad.
“Ooh, yuck! Look at Jemma!” Olivia cries, screwing up her face.
Sheralyn and Mom both turn to me quickly.
“Oh… Sorry, Jemma,” Sheralyn says, anxiously glancing from me to Mom, who has already jumped up to grab a kitchen towel.
“Here,” Mom says, passing it to Sheralyn.
Dad comes back in. He looks pale, and his eyes look deeper than usual and darker.
“What’s happened?” Olivia demands. “Is Sarah dead?”
Finn bangs his head on the table.
“Should I take them upstairs?” Sheralyn asks. Finn goes with her, but Olivia refuses.
“I suppose you’ll have to know sometime.” Dad sighs. “That was Kate on the phone. The police have found a body. They haven’t identified it yet, but we have to prepare ourselves. They think it might be Sarah.”
I feel panicked. I was half expecting this, and yet I wasn’t. I wasn’t at all.
Olivia begins to cry.
“It might not be her,” Mom tells us.
Dad hugs Olivia, who clings to him as she sobs in his arms.
I wish someone would hug me. Then Mom touches my shoulder and turns me to face her.
“Oh, Jemma,” she says gently, and she squeezes my hand. I am so grateful, so relieved that she can sense my pain.
“Where…where did they find…the body?” she asks Dad.
“In Fox Woods,” Dad says. “Kate’s coming tomorrow to identify her. I’m relieved that they didn’t ask us to do it.” I see him shudder.
Olivia pulls away from Dad, her eyes red and face wet. Dad’s shirt has a big wet patch too.
Mom goes and gives Olivia a squeeze, her eyes meeting Dad’s. They know they can’t promise us that it will be okay.
Later, when Olivia and Finn are in bed, I hear Dad talking to Mom. He says the police told Kate the circumstances “look suspicious.”
They’ve found a body; Dan must have killed her. However much I try to think of a different explanation, I keep coming back to it. He killed Ryan, and now he’s killed Sarah. And he taunted me with it. I can rage all I want. I can hate him more than anything, but it makes no difference. He knew he could do what he wanted.
I knew all along what he was like. And now it’s too late.