Sarah is coming! There’s been a weird atmosphere at home these last few days—such a mixture of things, like one of Mom’s “everything goes in” stews. We’re all pleased and relieved that Sarah’s been found, that she’s alive—but shocked too, and horrified at what she’s been through. I am less shocked than Mom and Dad because I knew what Dan was like, but I still feel dreadful thinking about all those days Sarah was locked in that garage. If I only I could have told them sooner, if only I could have warned Sarah, she might not have had to go through all that.
Kate wanted Sarah to go and stay with her, but Sarah wanted to come here. I am worried about what state she’ll be in, how she’ll be feeling, but I can’t wait for her to be back. Once Sarah is here, things will feel a little more normal again.
I hear the bell. My heart starts beating so fast.
Sarah. Sarah! But the voice isn’t Sarah’s. It’s Paula.
“Jemma,” says Paula, as she comes into the living room. “Thank you so much! It’s because of you that they got him, that evil man.”
“Do they know why did Billy did it?” Mom asks her.
“He’s a thief,” Paula tells us. “The police have connected him to a string of thefts from jewelers. I suspected my Ryan had gotten himself into some kind of a mess. They think he was helping out with raids and decided to keep some of the stuff himself. And Billy found out.”
Mom is shaking her head as she takes all this in.
Paula keeps talking. “And I’m thinking that if Dan knew what Billy had done, he might have used it to make Billy help him kidnap Sarah.”
There’s a pause as all of this sinks in. “SARAH COMING,” I sniff.
“Really?” says Paula. “That’s wonderful! The poor girl. It’s dreadful to think…”
“Yes, she should be here soon,” Mom says, looking at her watch. “It’s because of Jemma that they found Sarah too, of course.”
Mom smiles at me.
“Anyway, I won’t stick around if you’re expecting Sarah,” Paula says, standing up. “I just wanted to fill you in—and to thank you, Jemma. I’ll be off.”
Paula has only been gone two minutes when the doorbell rings again.
So many times I’ve imagined her walking through the door. And here she is.
I knew she might look different after going through something so horrific, but this doesn’t stop the shock when I see her. She looks thinner. Her hair is lank, her skin spotty, and her eyes have a scary emptiness. She does manage a tiny smile when she sees me. She opens her mouth as if to speak, but she coughs. The cough is chesty and hollow, and it sounds like it will never stop.
“Jemma, it’s so good to see you,” she finally croaks. “Thank you…for everything.” Her voice is sad and small, and even though I know she’s pleased to see me, it feels as though part of her is somewhere else.
Now is my chance—my chance to communicate with Sarah for the first time. “LOVE YOU SARAH,” I sniff.
She manages a slightly bigger smile. “Wow. Look at you talking!”
There’s a silence. No one really knows what to say. She knows—she must know—we care about her so much. But you can’t just fix something like this.
Sarah turns to Mom. “I’ll go and have a shower, if that’s okay,” she says. “I had showers at the hospital of course, but I don’t feel clean. I can’t…”
“Have a shower, dear. Take as long as you want,” says Mom.
She disappears upstairs. It is Sarah, but it isn’t. Things aren’t going to be the same. And of course I knew that, deep down. It will be good that I can speak, though. I want to help her feel better.
Sarah doesn’t come down for about an hour. I wait and wait. She looks better, but her face still has an emptiness.
“Cup of tea?” asks Mom.
“Thank you.” Sarah nods.
Mom goes into the kitchen to make it, and Sarah sits down with me.
“I can’t believe I was so wrong about him,” she says quietly. “I guess you knew, Jemma. I bet you’ve got more sense than me.”
“I KNEW,” I tell her.
“I should have stuck with Richard, sweet Richard. I don’t know what got into me.”
Mom comes in at the end of this. “Dan was a charmer,” she says. “Anyone can fall for a charmer.”
“He said I was his and his alone, like he owned me.” Sarah looks shaky.
“Don’t talk about it now unless you want to,” says Mom, touching Sarah’s shoulder gently.
Sarah takes a sip of tea and then coughs that chesty cough again.
“Have they given you something for that cough?” Mom asks.
Sarah nods. “I’ve got antibiotics. It was freezing and drafty in that garage.”
“How could he do it—treat you like that?” Mom’s voice is bitter. “He deceived us all, you know.”
I wasn’t taken in, but I don’t bother to point this out.
“You’re welcome to stay here and rest up,” says Mom. “Take all the time you need to recover. It must’ve been a horrendous ordeal.”
“Thanks,” says Sarah. She rubs her eyes. “Look, I don’t… This, this is so hard… I hope you’ll all understand, but…”
I brace myself as Sarah pauses. But what?
Sarah sighs. “I need space and time to figure things out. I wanted to come here because this is my home, but I’m only staying a few days. Then I’ll go to my sister’s. I need time to think.”
“WANT YOU STAY,” I sniff. “I LOOK AFTER YOU.”
Sarah gives a little gasp. “That is so sweet, Jemma. I love you. This… It’s nothing to do with you, I promise. I don’t know. I just need space.”
As I try to take in this awful news, Sarah tells us that Richard visited her in hospital yesterday.
“He feels so bad about not seeing me go into the house after the concert,” she says. “I tried to say he’s got nothing to feel bad about… I was cheating on him!”
“I don’t think you or Richard should worry yourselves about that now, not after everything.” Mom sighs. “What happened when you got out of the car after the concert?” she asks. Then she puts her hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sure you don’t want to talk about it.”
“It’s okay,” says Sarah. “I got to the front door, and just as I went to put the key in, a hand went over my mouth. Dan was holding me tight, forcing me to walk, and he bundled me into a car and drove me to that garage. He’d found out about Richard, and he was angry—so angry! But I deserved it, didn’t I?” Sarah breaks into sobs.
“You can’t think that!” says Mom, just as I sniff, “NO.”
“Dan may have felt angry, but that could never make it okay—what he did,” says Mom. Her fists are clenched.
Sarah bursts into tears. Mom is by her side in a second. She puts her arm around Sarah and grabs some tissues from the table. I try to think of something I can say.
But I guess sometimes there is nothing you can say.
It’s just being there that’s important.
I can’t take in that she’s leaving. Is she going to come back? I have wanted her back so much. I know the most important thing is that she’s okay—and that she does what she needs to do right now. I’m trying not to think about myself in this, but I don’t want her to go, not now. Not right away.
Later, I am lying in bed and overhear Mom and Dad talking in the kitchen. Sarah has gone to bed early.
“I can’t stand thinking about it,” Mom says. “Her being locked up in that garage all that time. At least she says he didn’t lay a finger on her.”
“No, just left her there to rot,” Dad says sourly.
“Acted like he was doing her a favor by bringing a little bit of food and water. Expecting her to be grateful… Can you imagine?” says Mom. “I’m not surprised she wants a break.”
“Maybe we need a break too,” Dad says. I feel a flash of alarm. What is he saying?
“We’ve had such a tough few months,” Dad continues. “Jemma could go to that college. I’m sure she’ll do well now she has the sniff controller. Someone else could take Finn.”
“No!” says Mom.
I am relieved that she sounds so horrified.
“You know how he hates change—and Jemma too,” says Mom. “They need us.”
“We’re only good for them if we are in a good state ourselves. And I’m not sure we are,” says Dad.
Then I hear Mom crying.
I knew things weren’t going to stay the same, but Mom and Dad? I thought they’d always be here. How wrong could I be?