The Essential Guide to Overcoming Obsessive Love

A

abandonment issues

confusing with love

accountability, breaking cycle

actions, controlling behaviors

addiction, obsessive love myths

advancing relationships, judging partner as friend

advocacy groups

self-punishment behaviors

assets, taking control of finances

dividing property

gathering information

attitudes, changing self-image

lowering costs of hiring

questions to ask

belief it is love

mistaking for love

B

controlling, partners of obsessive lovers

respecting personal boundaries

partners contributing

reasons partners stay

sending mixed messages

self-destructive

breakup expectation

life dysfunction

masking emotional pain

self-punishment

self-recrimination

triggers for obsessive lover

body language, controlling behaviors

future relationships

partners of obsessive lovers

breaking cycles

committing to change

learning balance

understanding compromise

slowly letting go

talking to partner

accepting change

exploring interests

missing obsessive partner

taking care of self

promises to change

self-destructive behaviors

finance management

control through abuse

taking responsibility

breaking emotional ties

future relationships

reconnecting with family and friends

future planning

taking responsibility for finances

tips for staying on

C

calls, harassing behaviors

Evan and Stephanie

Marissa and Brandon

Ronnie and Patricia

Ryan and Samantha

CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)

experiences trigger obsessive lover

identity tied to

rejection feelings

breaking up with obsessive lover

staying for children

talking to children

reasons partners stay

civil complaints

both partners obsessive

meeting emotional needs

nurturing partner

cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

building stalking case

anger management

problem-solving techniques

tips for resolving

confrontations, avoiding

contributing behaviors

both partners are obsessive

meeting emotional needs

nurturing partner

reasons partners stay

low self-esteem

sending mixed messages

tolerating excessive behaviors

control, possessive behaviors

controlling behaviors, partners of

obsessive lovers

accepting peace offerings

confrontation avoidance

accepting change

exploring interests

missing obsessive partner

taking care of self

helping children

conflict resolution

anger management

problem-solving techniques

couples versus individual

domestic violence shelters

progress measurement

behavior change

finding cause of obsession

thoughts versus feelings

couples therapies versus individual

civil complaints

orders of protection

violating orders of protection

Cremeens, Amber

cultures, reasons partners stay

cycles, breaking

understanding compromise

D

dangers, obsessive love myths

depression, breakup expectation

destructiveness

development (obsessive love)

complete obsession

end of relationship

retaining individuality

dispassionate behaviors

documentation, building stalking

find pertinent information

save communications

domestic violence

emotional abuse

drive-bys, harassing behaviors

dysfunction, self-destructive behaviors

ignoring other relationships

dysfunctional relationships

E

economic abuses

e-mail, harassing behaviors

emotional abuse

identifying obsessive lover

exercises, self-help affirmations negative self-talk self-discovery support groups writing in journal

F

Facebook, harassing behaviors

objections to relationships

imaginary relationships

mistaking attraction for love

fears, reasons partners stay

feelings versus thoughts

breakup management

control through abuse

future planning

staying on budget

reasons partners stay

fixing partner, obsessive love myths

objection to relationship

future relationships

look back at what went wrong

setting boundaries

G–H

building stalking case

peace offerings

harassing behaviors

unannounced visits

harassment laws

health relationships, teaching

relationship stages

high-risk behaviors, breakup

homes, security

I

identities, tied to childhood

imaginary relationships

individual counseling, couples therapy

individuality, retaining

Internet, harassing behaviors

J

jealousy, possessive behaviors

joint assets, taking control of finances

dividing property

gathering information

noticing patterns

remembering actual events

tracking behavior

K–L

protection from stalking

building stalking case

journal writing

noticing patterns

remembering actual events

tracking behavior

loneliness, confusing with love

affectionate versus possessiveness

relationship stages

passionate, obsessive love myth

relationships based on

romantic, similarities to obsessive love

love addiction, obsessive love myths

low self-esteem, reasons partners stay

lust, belief it is love

M

mail, harassing behaviors

manipulative behaviors

Martin, Tyler James

mixed messages, contributing to obsessive behaviors

tolerating mixed messages

money, controlling behaviors

myths (obsessive love)

passionate love

physical violence

type of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)

N

negative self-talk

stop obsessive thoughts

nonobsessive partners

accepting peace offerings

changing present relationships

confrontation avoidance

contributing behaviors

reasons partners stay

sending mixed messages

controlling behaviors

finance management

control through abuse

taking responsibility

breaking emotional ties

future relationships

reconnecting with family and friends

possessiveness versus affectionate love

self-help exercises

negative self-talk

writing in journal

changing attitude

strength and weakness assessment

building stalking case

nurturing partners, codependence

O

obsessive behaviors

unannounced visits

respecting personal boundaries

obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), obsessive love myth

complete obsession

end of relationship

retaining individuality

passionate love

physical violence

type of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)

versus healthy love

healthy relationship stages

obsessive lovers

behavior triggers

believe physical attraction is love

both partners obsessive

confusing emotions

identifying, questions to ask self

accepting peace offerings

changing present relationships

confrontation avoidance

contributing behaviors

controlling behaviors

finance management

possessiveness versus affectionate love

self-help exercises

obsessive loves

behaviors, social norms

fantasy obsessions

imaginary relationships

mistaking attraction for love

similarities to romantic love

OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), obsessive love myth

orders of protection

P

partners, relationship based on love

partners of obsessive lovers

accepting peace offerings

changing present relationships

confrontation avoidance

contributing behaviors

reasons partners stay

sending mixed messages

controlling behaviors

finance management

control through abuse

taking responsibility

breaking emotional ties

future relationships

reconnecting with family and friends

possessiveness versus affectionate love

self-help exercises

negative self-talk

writing in journal

changing attitude

strength and weakness assessment

passionate love, obsessive love myth

passive-aggressive behaviors

pastrol counseling

pawns, using children

personal accountability

personal boundaries, respecting

phone calls, harassing behaviors

physical violence, obsessive love myths

police, contacting

writing statement

possessive behaviors

versus affectionate love

power plays, controlling behaviors

privacy, respecting boundaries

problem-solving techniques

properties, dividing

Protection from Abuse orders

psychological abuse

behavior change

finding cause of obsession

thoughts versus feelings

punishment, self-destructive behaviors

put-downs, controlling behaviors

Q–R

healthy relationships

recrimination, self-destructive

development of obsessive love

complete obsession

end of relationship

retaining individuality

healthy, teaching children

breaking emotional ties

future relationships

reconnecting with family and friends

religion, reasons partners stay

religious institutions

resources, controlling behaviors

romance, mistaken for love

romantic love, similarities to obsessive love

Romeo and Juliet

Rothmeier, Dr. Rose

S

stalking protection

aware of surroundings

self-defense classes

Schaeffer, Rebecca

confusing with love

Self Confidence Trainer

self-defense classes

self-destructive behaviors

breakup expectation

life dysfunction

ignoring other relationships

masking emotional pain

self-punishment, anger

self-recrimination

who you want to be

obsessive lovers

steps to improving

partners of obsessive lovers

changing attitude

strength and weakness assessment

reasons partners stay

self-help exercises

negative self-talk

stop obsessive thoughts

who you want to be

writing in journal

noticing patterns

remembering actual events

tracking behavior

obsessive lovers

steps to improving

partners of obsessive lovers

changing attitude

strength and weakness assessment

self-punishment, self-destructive

self-recrimination, self-destructive

separations, children

confusion with love

partner of obsessive lover

singlehood, coping with breakups

socially acceptable behaviors

stages, divorce

breakup expectations

building a case

contacting police

domestic violence laws

harassment laws

previous partner

protecting against

personal information

safety away from home

protection from law

domestic violence shelters

religious institutions

stranger stalkings

strengths, assessment

surveillance, stalking

T

teens, decision influences on relationships

temporary housing

conflict resolution

anger management

problem-solving techniques

couples versus individual

progress measurement

behavior change

finding cause of obsession

thoughts versus feelings

thoughts versus feelings

time, controlling behaviors

transitional-living programs

treatments, obsessive love myths

trust, secure with self

U–V

unannounced visits, harassing

Vaillant, Dr. George

vandalism, stalking

verbal language, controlling behaviors

breakup expectations

emotional abuse

obsessive love myths

visits, harassing behaviors

vocational services

W–X–Y–Z

warnings, of obsessive love

weaknesses, assessment

withdrawal symptoms

writing journals

noticing patterns

remembering actual events

tracking behavior