DESIRE

Fourteen Years Old

Anna was hungry. She’d been hungry all day.

Aunt placed the chocolate box in front of her, each chocolate, bronzed and shiny, moulded into its own tempting design and slotted into a neat compartment, ready to be plucked. Anna’s fingers itched to reach for one, but she knew these tests were about pain, not pleasure.

‘Look at the chocolates, Anna.’

Anna’s eyes darted from one to the other. Her stomach rumbled.

‘Now eat one.’

Anna had not expected that. She looked at Aunt for validation. Aunt nodded. Anna selected a heart-shaped chocolate from the box. She bit into it. The inside was soft and buttery with tiny crystals of sugar. Her hand reached out and selected another. She popped that in her mouth too: creamy orange zest. She took another one: dark truffle. Another: thick, fudgy on her teeth. Another. Another.

‘Anna,’ Aunt chimed in. ‘You are not controlling yourself …’

But Anna couldn’t stop. Another. Another. Another. She’d eat the whole box and be done with it – only the more she ate the more chocolates appeared, the compartments of the box never empty, always ripening with a new one.

Another. Another. Another. Her stomach was hurting now.

‘You must try harder.’ Aunt’s voice was growing sharper.

Anna understood the game now – the trick. She held onto her cord and tied the knot, trying to control the wanting inside of her, but they tasted too good – she couldn’t stop …

Another. Another. Sweat broke out across her forehead.

Another. Another. Another. She pulled the knot tight and managed to resist the last one momentarily but it was too late. Aunt held out a bowl for her to vomit in.