THE BALL

Ecstasy Rituals absolve the sins of the group, for sin drives out sin. The sin is undertaken repeatedly until it can no longer be endured. At the point of exaltation it is bound within each individual.

Binders’ Rituals, The Book of the Binders

Aunt refused to let Anna go to Effie’s house before the ball but assented to Effie coming to their house instead. Anna was shocked at even that concession. It was truly one last night of freedom. After the Choke Knot she wanted nothing more than to live every moment of it – and then she would go to Selene. She would find a way out.

Effie arrived late. ‘Vivienne, so good to see you again.’ She smiled, stepping through the doorway.

Aunt smiled in return. ‘A pleasure to see you too.’

If looks could kill they’d both be dead.

‘Effie, let’s go upstairs.’ Anna wanted their interaction to be as limited as possible.

‘Wow, your room is bland,’ said Effie. She began poking through her shelves and drawers.

‘Aunt wouldn’t have it any other way.’

‘Who’s this?’ Effie pulled out the picture of her parents.

Anna had been looking at it the night before and regretted not hiding it deeper. She grabbed it off her. ‘My mother – and my father.’

‘She was pretty. I didn’t imagine her with black hair.’ Effie turned to look at Anna; her gaze became critical. ‘What are you wearing?’

‘This.’ Anna held up an old dress. She knew it was the worst – an unflattering purple colour, long and shapeless. It was the closest she could find to something resembling an evening dress.

‘We’ll deal with whatever that is later, but I meant underneath.’

‘What, like, underwear?’

‘Don’t look so shocked, you do know that’s on the cards, don’t you? Peter has a boarding room at the Boys’ School, he’s going to want to take you back there. Every guy feels obligated to try and sleep with their date at the summer ball.’

‘Peter wouldn’t – he’s not like that.’

‘You don’t even know him, Anna. Anyway, I bought you something.’ She took a package wrapped in tissue paper out of her bag.

‘Thanks.’ Anna looked at it warily. She unwrapped it and pulled out a pair of white pants and a bra, trimmed with feathery lace. ‘You want me to wear these?’

Effie stood up and began to take her clothes off. Underneath she was wearing similar underwear in black. ‘See? They look amazing. I figured white for you. You know: virginal and pure. Peter will love that.’

‘I am not sleeping with Peter.’

‘What else is there to do with him? He’s a complete bore but he does have a certain intensity. Put them on just in case; besides, they make you feel sexy, trust me.’

The look on Anna’s face obviously revealed she did not trust Effie, not at all.

Effie sat down on the bed. ‘Look, I said I’m sorry. Can we start over? Manda and Rowan are driving me crazy, our magic is waning. I need you back. Attis told me that you missed me …’

‘I want to come back.’ Anna sat down beside her. ‘But you have to promise the coven is a democracy, not a fascist state.’

‘Yes. It’s all free love and fairness and fairy tales, OK?’ She moved some hair back from Anna’s face. ‘You’re going to be a stunner tonight.’

‘I’ll wear the damn underwear, go on, give it to me. I’m still not sleeping with Peter, though.’

‘Whatever. Manda said the same thing about her and Karim.’

‘It’s true then – they did?’

Effie nodded.

‘What about her beliefs?’

‘She’s convinced herself it’s OK because she loves him and they’ll surely get married one day and yada, yada, yada.’

‘Married! She’s known him all of five minutes.’

Effie shrugged. Anna reflected on the fact that even fearful, control-freak Manda had slept with someone and she was terrified of even kissing a boy.

‘Right, let’s deal with that dress.’

Effie pulled out a crumpled red ball from her bag and shook it out. The dress unravelled like a silk waterfall, the creases falling away as if by magic. In fact, magic had almost certainly been involved. ‘I think this one will look perfect.’

They got themselves ready, Effie fussing over Anna, helping her get into her dress, employing various magical concoctions, polishing and brightening her like a piece of silverware. They drank from a bottle Effie had brought and giggled, and Anna felt herself grow giddy on Effie’s presence once more. To finish she twisted Anna’s hair up with magic, leaving strands of it to fall about her face.

‘Peter’s going to drop dead,’ said Effie, admiring her work.

Anna looked at herself in the mirror – her reflection was as confused as she was. The woman in it wasn’t the girl she knew, her hair burnt gold, her eyes a living green, her lips red as the apple she’d bitten into many months ago.

‘Wait there. You need shoes. Please tell me you’re not going to ruin the outfit by putting on some sort of ballet pump or something.’

Anna had a wardrobe full of sensible ballet pumps and then she remembered. She ran to the wardrobe and pulled out the gold shoes from where she’d buried them.

‘Selene bought them for me when I was young.’

‘Selene buys you gifts?’

‘For every birthday she’s been around.’

‘How nice for you,’ Effie muttered resentfully. ‘Put them on then!’

They were beautiful but small, sized for an eleven-year-old, which was the last time she’d tried them on. As she slipped into them they grew to fit her feet, the heels lengthening elegantly at the same time.

The doorbell rang.

Effie pretended to faint against the wall. ‘That’ll be your prince in perfumed armour, Peter. Attis has never been on time for anything in his life.’

They made their way down the stairs. Aunt looked as if she’d swallowed sandpaper when she saw them. Anna tried to hide the slit in the dress as best she could.

‘Anna, I hardly think those heels are appropriate.’

‘I’ll make sure she doesn’t break her neck,’ said Effie, smiling sweetly.

Anna couldn’t believe she was opening the door of her house to Peter. In a light grey suit with his blond hair brushed back from his face, he’d never looked more handsome. He held a red rose wrist corsage in one hand.

‘You look beautiful,’ he said, offering her the corsage. She slipped her hand through it.

‘Thanks to me.’ Effie stepped forward. Peter’s eyes trailed away from Anna and took in Effie instead, her long legs revealed by the see-through skirt of her black dress.

He nodded. ‘Effie.’

Anna turned around to say goodbye to Aunt, who was watching them intently, a smile taunting her mouth. ‘Excuse me.’ Aunt pushed her way forwards. ‘Vivienne Everdell. Good to meet you.’ She extended a cordial hand to Peter.

Peter gave her a winning smile. ‘Vivienne, very good to meet you. Thank you for taking all my calls. I imagine I became rather a nuisance.’

‘Not at all. I’m glad Anna has found a gentleman like yourself.’

‘I promise to take good care of her tonight.’

‘She must be home by midnight.’

‘The car is already booked.’

She gave him an appraising look. ‘I’m trusting you, Peter Nowell.’

‘Never trust a man with perfectly polished shoes,’ said a voice from behind him.

Peter and Aunt scowled at Attis in unison.

‘Better late than never,’ said Effie, stepping out to him.

Attis drank her in. ‘You look ravishing. Now, I don’t have a car booked but I have a bottle of whisky and a killer playlist.’

‘Sounds perfect to me.’

Peter moved aside to let Anna out and only then did Attis look at her, his eyes widening just a little. They hadn’t spoken since the garden. If he was angry, he didn’t show it. Anna was staring at him too. He looked different. She’d never seen him out of tracksuit bottoms or jeans. His suit was jet black, his shirt crisp white, his hair still wet, falling into his eyes.

‘You guys want a ride?’ he offered, still looking at Anna.

‘I think we’ll be fine.’ Peter took Anna’s hand and pulled her towards a dark black BMW parked next to Attis’s dilapidated Peugeot.

‘Anna, you forgot something,’ Aunt called. Anna hurried back to the doorway and Aunt yanked her close and whispered: ‘Enjoy yourself tonight but remember, no matter how much of a gentleman they may look, they’ll still break your heart.’

The ball was held in the Boys’ School hall. Anna could only get so excited by the decorations. There were balloons and streamers and flower displays on the confetti-covered tables, but if they’d been in Equinox no doubt the stained-glass windows would have been pouring down the walls and people would be floating off in giant balloons …

Peter went to fetch them drinks. Anna stood lost for a moment in the crowd when Rowan pushed her way through the press of bodies, dragging Manda alongside. ‘Anna!’ Their dates, Karim and a skinny boy that Anna presumed was the trumpet-player, watched them go. ‘Your dress is sending me into seizure it’s so hot. Where did you get that?’

‘Effie, obviously. You both look beautiful.’ She smiled. Manda was wearing a rather formal pale blue dress and Rowan had gone eye-catching in a neon green skirt that puffed out from her waist.

‘I know.’ Rowan twirled. ‘I’m so glad you and Effie made up. At last, the dream team Dark Mooners back together. What did I tell you, Manda? It’s all sorted. Mother Holle help me, where’s David going now?’

Rowan made off after her date and Manda glanced at Anna, nose in the air. ‘I’m sorry, Anna. I was wrong.’ The admission obviously pained her.

‘It’s OK. I’m sorry too, for my part in the mess.’

Manda seemed surprised by Anna’s apology. ‘I just – I – finally felt like I belonged. I didn’t want to lose it.’

‘I know.’

‘I still think Darcey deserved what she got, mind you, but Headmaster Connaughty – that was wrong. Effie’s sorry about it all anyway.’

Anna wasn’t sure if Effie was that sorry but she nodded. Manda looked back towards Karim, as if to check he was still there.

‘So, you guys are together then?’

Manda blushed ‘Yes. We’re in love. I’m still freaking out about everything, but I think I’m keeping my cool on the surface.’ Manda turned to check Karim’s whereabouts again.

Anna smiled and then noticed Peter coming towards them. ‘Come on, Anna, let’s get a drink.’

Manda made eyes at her and hurried off towards Karim.

Peter was the perfect date. He was attentive, bringing her drinks, introducing her to his friends. They sat and chatted over the music, tentatively getting to know each other. He held her hand tightly and told her she looked beautiful every ten minutes until Anna really started to believe it. She talked to people who had called her names and taunted her in the past and now they were smiling at her and acting as if they had always been friends. They weren’t her friends.

‘Peter, I’ll be back in a minute, I’m just going to catch up with the others for a bit, OK?’

‘Effie,’ he said darkly. ‘Anna, stay with me, I don’t want to let you go tonight.’

‘I won’t be long, I promise.’

Anna pulled away and went in search of them. She located Effie and Attis leaning against the wall at the back of the hall, observing proceedings and attracting attention without trying.

‘I’m surprised you’ve managed to separate yourself from Peter long enough to find us,’ Effie mocked. ‘Did you try the punch yet? Feeling frisky?’

‘I’ll make sure to avoid the punch if you had anything to do with it.’

‘Oh, I just threw a couple of Selene’s potions in there. Here, have some of this.’ Effie handed her the bottle from earlier. Anna looked around to check for teachers and then took a swig. Effie threw her head against the wall. ‘This is even more boring than I’d anticipated. Shall we go to Equinox already?’

‘I can’t. Peter …’

‘That’s the problem with dating a cowan.’

‘We’re not dating.’

‘Not yet,’ said Attis, watching the crowd.

Rowan stumbled into them. She was with Manda.

‘Oh, there you are,’ said Rowan. ‘I’m not so sure David really wants to hang out with me. He’s spending most of his time with his friends, so sod it, I thought I’d do the same. And Karim is talking to his ex-girlfriend—’

‘They’re just chatting. I’m very chilled about it,’ said Manda, her eye twitching. ‘I don’t want to seem crazy and drag him away – yet.’

‘Forget them, let’s dance,’ said Effie.

‘Finally!’ Rowan cheered. ‘Someone wants to dance with me.’

They took to the floor, the crowd parting for Effie as always. They formed a circle and let loose, Effie surreptitiously passing the bottle between them. Anna was sure it had a little magic in it too – she felt more and more free with every sip. Attis moved between them, picking up Rowan, spinning Manda round. When he came face to face with Anna, he took her hand and twirled her away and back again forcefully, his hand grabbing her waist, crumpling the satin of her dress.

Anna leant into his ear. She could smell the smoke and fire of his skin. ‘I’m sorry’, she shouted over the music, ‘for stealing your key.’

He spun her away and moved on.

They danced and grew giddy. The rest of the room melted away and Anna imagined herself outside again – under the moonlight, the fire roaring in front of them. The others must have felt it too because they all began to dance with abandon, ridiculous, imbecelic abandon. They soon found themselves doing the rain dance again: Rowan shimmying, Manda stomping, Effie jumping on Attis’s back and calling forth the rain; lights spinning, crowds gathering and limbs crashing.

Lightning flashed overhead suddenly, eclipsing the lights in the room. Thunder cracked the air like a whip. Rain began to pour outside. They looked at each other and laughed hysterically. Effie grabbed Anna’s hands and spun them around, revelling in the magic. How can no one else in the room feel it?

Anna caught sight of Peter in the crowd. Darcey was next to him, whispering in his ear.

‘I’ve got to go,’ she said to Effie, breaking away.

She walked over to them. ‘Peter, want to dance?’ Anna extended a hand to him.

‘Why would he want to join the freak show out there?’ Darcey sneered.

‘Sorry, I’ve got to go.’ Peter took Anna’s hand.

Of everything that had happened that year, nothing was so satisfying as Darcey’s face at that moment. They weaved into the crowd and Peter drew her close to him. ‘You guys looked pretty interesting …’

The rain was still pouring outside.

Anna laughed. ‘We got carried away.’

The music began to slow. Peter pulled her closer and time seemed to slip away as they danced.

Anna lifted her head up to look at him. ‘Are you and Darcey definitely over?’

Peter nodded firmly. ‘Over. She was always a lot to handle, but after everything that’s happened this year, she’s nothing to me now.’ He tilted her chin up towards him. ‘I swear you’re getting more beautiful with every hour. How did a girl like you fly under the radar for so long?’

Anna laughed and looked down, choosing not to recall everything that had brought her to this moment. He moved her hair from her face and leant in. The kiss was gentle, barely there at all. She pulled away and smiled at him. Her first kiss. It wasn’t so scary.

He pulled her tighter, his arms caressing her back. He kissed her again. She kissed back and his breathing quickened. ‘Everdell, you’re delicious.’ He kissed harder now, his hands running up into her hair. ‘You smell so good.’ He kissed down her neck. ‘God, I want you.’ She hoped they were hidden in the dark of the room.

‘Peter …’ She pulled away.

‘Anna.’ He was breathing fast. ‘Let’s get out of here. I’ve got a room.’

‘I’m not sure—’

‘Nothing has to happen, but it could …’

‘Let’s just stay here for a bit.’

‘Come on. I know you’ve been waiting for this moment.’ He smiled, his eyes implacable. He trailed his hands down her arms and took hold of her wrists. He pulled her gently towards the door.

‘No, Peter, I want to stay here.’

He kissed her again. ‘We could be alone at last.’ He pulled harder.

‘I’m sorry.’ She knew she was ruining everything, but she couldn’t. Every guy feels obligated to try and sleep with their date at the summer ball.

His smiled dropped, the blue of his eyes turning cold. ‘Anna …’

‘She said she doesn’t want to go.’ Attis appeared beside them.

Peter’s lips turned up, revealing teeth.

Attis towered over him. ‘Why don’t you do everyone a favour and leave instead?’

‘Whatever.’ Peter looked back at Anna and stormed off.

Attis took her hand and then they were dancing, slowly, maintaining a careful distance from one another. Anna was too ashamed to say anything.

‘He’s a fuckwit, Anna.’

She let out a shaky laugh.

‘Do you want me to punch him? I did it once and it felt good.’

She tried to process the last few minutes. That had not been the calm, composed Peter she knew. ‘He said nothing had to happen …’ She could still feel his hand on her wrist.

‘It’s a good line.’

‘Do you use it?’

‘No. I wouldn’t lie to sleep with a girl.’

Anna looked up at him. ‘I’m sorry I took your key.’

‘I told you not to dig, to put yourself in danger.’

‘I know. I was stupid, but I was desperate. I knew you wouldn’t understand.’

‘Did your aunt hurt you?’ He looked down at her, eyes blazing. Anna felt tears rush into hers. She’d tried to forget those three long weeks. She found she couldn’t tell him.

Attis looked away, his jaw clenching. ‘You should have let me in, that night, when I came.’

‘I couldn’t.’

He nodded. Anna realized they had grown closer – Attis’s face was inches from hers. His lips exactly where Peter’s had been when they kissed. She could feel his arms around her and wanted to sink deeper. To escape again.

Then she saw Effie over his shoulder – staring at them.

Anna dropped Attis’s hand. ‘Effie.’

‘What?’ said Attis.

‘Effie’s waiting for you. I’m going to get a drink.’ She pulled away.

‘Anna, don’t try to find him.’

‘I won’t. Right now, he’s a massive fuckwit.’

She went to the drinks counter, reeling from everything that had just happened. A couple were making out passionately over the punch.

There was some general kerfuffle on stage and then the music was cut. Darcey walked out into the centre, hair bouncing, one hand holding up her long, silver dress, the other holding a microphone.

‘Thank you.’ The microphone screeched and she glared at the flustered-looking sound guy. ‘On behalf of the student council, thank you all for coming. The council has done a spectacular job of bringing my vision to life, a round of applause is in order.’ Everyone clapped and cheered. ‘Now, I don’t want to stop the partying for too long – oh and by the way, after-party at mine tonight, guestlist only – but first, it’s that time of the night that we all look forward to.’ Darcey pointed at the large screen behind her. ‘The council and I have put together our favourite pictures and memories from the school year. Embarrassment is compulsory.’

The screen lit up and a slideshow began, scrolling through pictures and memories that Anna hadn’t been a part of. People began to cheer and laugh as their photos were shown – pulling faces, assuming stupid poses, drunk or captured kissing someone in the dark. Then a photo of Rowan.

Anna’s heart stopped.

Another photo of Rowan appeared, more unflattering than the first. Laughter began to bubble up from the crowd. Another photo of Rowan – the pictures from the horrible game they had all played. Darcey had seeded them throughout. Just enough to humiliate, not enough to raise suspicion. Darcey began to snigger on stage. Anna had presumed that, after everything, on some deeply buried level Darcey’s taste of her own medicine would have changed her perspective, blunted her cruelty.

The laughter suddenly stopped.

Anna’s glass dropped from her hand, lemonade fizzing over her gold shoes.

The photo montage was gone. A video was playing instead. Darcey stood, rooted to the spot, watching herself on screen with Headmaster Connaughty.

The hall was completely silent. Nothing but the horrifying sounds of the video.

Slowly, the whispers came, shocked inhalations, murmurings. Darcey did not move.

The teachers had begun to panic, trying to cut it off. The screen went blank. Anna located Headmaster Connaughty running out of the hall.

Darcey still had not moved. Her eyes were far away. Watching her future crumble.

The noise in the hall exploded. The sound of the rumours returning all at once, deafening. The video cut to static and within it seven circles. The Eye.

Darcey ran.

‘Where is she?’ Anna pulled Rowan’s shoulder. She couldn’t think straight for the anger pulsing through her. ‘Where’s Effie? Manda, where is she?’

Manda looked pale. ‘I – I don’t know …’

‘Did you know she hadn’t destroyed the video?’

Rowan shook her head but Manda fiddled with her hands nervously. ‘She said she wasn’t going to do anything with it.’

‘Oh! And you believed that? How convenient.’ Anna pushed through them. It was hard to get through the crowds. Everyone was excited, feeding off the drama. The ball was over but the fun had just begun.

‘I knew it. I knew they were at it …’

‘How could she? It’s disgusting!’

‘How could he? Isn’t it illegal?’

‘My eyes are burning!’

Anna found Attis. ‘Where is she?’

‘I don’t know. I’m looking for her too. Anna – calm down.’

‘No. I don’t want to be calm for this. She released that video, I know it!’ She threw his hands off her. ‘I trusted her, again!’

‘I don’t know where she’s gone.’

Anna pushed past him. ‘Has anyone seen Effie?’ She grabbed at random people. ‘Have you seen Effie?’

‘I saw her like twenty minutes ago. She went that way, with Peter.’

With Peter.

She spotted Tom and stepped in front of him. ‘Tom! What number is Peter’s room?’

‘Number fourteen. Why? You gonna show him a good time?’ He made a stupid hooting noise.

Anna was already gone, propelled by a rage she’d never known before. She ran down the corridors, heading towards the boarding block. She could hear footsteps behind her – Attis calling – but she would not stop, she could not stop.

Number eleven, number twelve, number thirteen …

Number fourteen. Anna touched the handle and the door sprang open under the fury of her touch.

They were in the bed together.

‘Anna!’ Peter shouted, covering himself with the sheets.

Effie appeared behind him, hair in disarray, lips flushed red. Her eyes flickered momentarily with something like guilt. Anna had been ready to yell and scream about the video but now she didn’t know what to say. The betrayal ran deeper, too deep for words to surface.

‘We were just having fun.’ Effie grabbed at Peter’s discarded shirt. ‘I told you there’s really nothing else to do with him.’ She laughed.

Anna stared at them.

Effie’s laughter died. ‘Oh, come on, you don’t even like him and you’re not as innocent as you pretend.’ Her voice was scathing.

Peter stuttered. ‘Anna, I didn’t mean to—’

‘Anna.’ Attis took her arm. ‘Come on, leave them.’

Effie sprang out of bed, throwing the shirt over her head.

‘Attis Lockerby, you stop right there. It wasn’t like that. He hit on me, OK? I just want to go home. Take me home.’

‘Take yourself home,’ Attis spat. He put an arm around Anna and flicked his hand out. The door shut in her face. ‘Come on,’ he said, moving her down the corridor. Anna sank into him, tears of anger running down her face.

‘Attis! Come back, right now!’ She heard Effie call behind them, but Attis did not turn around, did not stop.

They were on the road within moments, the school in the car mirror disappearing from sight. The sights of it stayed with Anna – the video, Darcey’s face, Effie and Peter. Effie. How could she?

‘Where am I taking you?’ said Attis.

Anna knew she should go home, back to Aunt, away from Effie forever, but the words would not form. All of her carefully controlled emotions were charging through her at once – and it hurt like hell – but she couldn’t give them up. She’d come too far to go back. An urgency she’d never felt was at her back like a knife, around her neck like a necklace tightening …

‘Take me to Selene.’

Attis looked unsure. ‘Effie might come back.’

‘I need to see Selene.’

They didn’t speak again. Attis wound through the traffic at breakneck speed, through the noise and lights and chaos of London. Anna stared out of the window, her fingers fluttering back and forth over her Knotted Cord.

The house was quiet.

‘Where is she?’ said Anna.

‘I’ll call her,’ said Attis. Anna sat down on the kitchen stool. ‘Selene, can you come back to the house? I don’t care if you’re on a date. Anna’s here. She and Effie – they’ve fallen out.’ He emphasized the words slowly. ‘She needs you. Now.’

He put down the phone. ‘She’s on her way.’

Anna pulled at her dress – it was too tight. ‘I need to take this off. I need to get this off me.’

‘OK. You can borrow some clothes upstairs. They’re Effie’s though.’

‘I just need to get this off.’ The dress was suffocating. She wanted to shred it to pieces. She pulled the red rose off her wrist and threw it in the bin.

‘Let’s go.’ They went into Effie’s dressing room and he pulled out a pair of jeans and a jumper from the wardrobe. She kicked the gold shoes off.

‘Can you undo it at the top?’ Anna scrabbled at her back, unable to find the zip.

‘Sure.’ Attis approached her hesitantly. She turned around, her back to him.

She only realized how fast she was breathing, how angry and desperate she was, as he came up behind her. He drew her hair out of the way – his hands brushing her neck. She breathed out all at once – the air around them stilling. He pulled the zip, following the shiver down her spine.

‘Anna,’ he said, his voice cracking, stepping closer.

She could feel his breath on her neck, the heat of him. Her legs were stuck to the floor. The dress hung on her, open.

She turned around slowly. It was like losing her free will again, only this time, instead of not being able to feel anything, she could feel it all – too much – not enough – she wanted more. His hands were painful flames on her skin; his lips were longing; his eyes were the place you go before sleep – smoke and dreams and escape.

‘Attis,’ she exhaled and he lowered himself towards her.

The kiss was slow and sweet and agonizing, like one of his magical symbols, turning her molten in his arms; beneath, a fire roared, a heat Anna had never known, a heat that only grew against the impossible softness of his lips. She grabbed at the collar of his shirt as his hands pressed against her back. She wanted to sink into him forever, for every last knot inside of her to come undone. She felt her dress fall off her shoulders …

The front door banged shut and they jumped apart.

‘I’m back.’ Selene’s voice.

Anna picked up the clothes. Attis turned away. She put them on hastily. She didn’t know what to say. There was too much to say. She had never felt so much in one single moment and she didn’t know what it meant. She looked back up but Attis wasn’t smiling, his brow was dark.

‘Anna …’

‘Anna!’ Selene called distantly.

‘Come on, let’s go.’ Anna took his hand and they made their way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Selene surveyed them quietly. ‘So, my little matchstick, Attis tells me you’ve had a falling-out with Effie. What’s happened?’

Anna saw now there was no time to waste. She told Selene everything. About the video, about Peter, Effie, about Aunt and her three weeks of hell, about the fact she had to become a Binder, how twisted they truly were. About needing to escape. Now. ‘You’ll help me, won’t you? You said you would. Please, Selene, I don’t want to become a Binder. I have to get away.’

‘Hush now, of course I’ll help.’ Selene pulled Anna into a hug.

Anna felt as if she were seven again, meeting Selene for the first time on her balcony, wishing she could float away with her. The tears came thick and fast. Anna tried to clear them. ‘I’m – I’m sorry I ruined your date.’

Selene waved a hand, laughing at the absurdity of the situation and wiping a tear from her own eye. ‘Oh, don’t be silly. He was just a plaything; he doesn’t even know my real name. Tonight I was femme fatale Carmenta Foy.’ She threw her scarf over her shoulder.

Attis snorted. ‘Who’s Carmenta Foy?’

‘My pseudonym. Every woman should have one.’

Carmenta Foy. Carmenta.

Anna felt her world sink around her.

When can you come and see me? Can you get rid of HER tonight? Carmenta x.

The message found on her father’s phone after he had killed her mother.

The thoughts came crashing at once, impossible to comprehend. The name – it was so unique, so specific. Selene was the other woman? Selene had betrayed her mother? Had been the cause of her mother’s death? Maybe she’d killed her herself. Fear poured through Anna like ice.

I have to get out of here.

‘I just need a moment,’ said Anna calmly. ‘Wash my face, get a tissue …’

‘OK, sweetie. Then we’ll get you sorted – I’m formulating a plan.’

Anna left the room, walked upstairs to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. The horror of what she’d just heard was etched all over her face. She remembered Selene lying in the golden bathwater, telling her she’d once loved a man – my father? The exact woman Aunt had warned her against.

Anna had to tell Attis. They had to leave. Now.

She went to Selene’s bedroom and took the feather from where it floated on the mantelpiece. She crept back downstairs and stopped at the kitchen door, but the murmur of whispers stopped her.

‘Is she in love with you yet?’ Selene’s voice, low and bitter. ‘Or have you messed that up too?’

‘I don’t know,’ Attis replied gruffly.

‘You don’t know? You told me you could make any girl fall in love with you. She has to be for this to work. How am I meant to know if the curse has begun?’

‘I think it has.’

‘Think isn’t good enough. For Goddess’s sake! I created you for this one reason! You know we have to stop her from leaving when she comes back down. She can’t escape.’

‘I know.’

Anna reached for her Knotted Cord, but the feelings that had been surging through her had already died. She tightened the cord and felt calm for the first time since the video of Darcey had started to play. Detached. Collected. Her pathway clear. Her heart in pieces but her future sealed.

Selene had killed her mother and Attis was in on it.

I created you …

Attis wasn’t a witch. He wasn’t human.

I created you … a memory rose to the surface. Manda reading from Selene’s spell book, from the pages that seemed to have been used: the spell for a golem, a man made from earth and kept alive with human hearts and blood.

I created you … He was no more than an illusion. She could still feel his kiss on her lips. She couldn’t love what wasn’t real.

She walked back into the room. They looked at her and she threw the feather in the air before they had time to react. They froze. Their movements stretched across time.

Anna grabbed Selene’s handbag and ran.

She hailed a taxi and gave her address. Cressey Square. Home. She checked Selene’s purse – she had more than enough money to cover it. She could barely begin to process what had just happened – the betrayals stacked against her. It was too much. All too much.

It was just before midnight when she got back.

Aunt opened the door. ‘Where’s Peter?’

Anna looked up at her and fell into her arms.

‘I’m sorry, Aunt. I’m sorry for everything,’ she sobbed. ‘You were right, love is evil. Magic is a sin.’ The two were one in Anna’s mind now. Rotten at their core. Cursed. They had ruined everything. She was at the black empty centre of the Eye now and there was only one way out. ‘I want to become a Binder.’

Aunt pulled her away and wiped the hair from her face. ‘Come on, let’s go upstairs.’ She took Anna to her room and retrieved a glass of water. ‘Drink and calm down. Then tell me what’s happened.’

Anna tried to collect herself but it came out in a blur. ‘My magic. I know, I know something is wrong with it. The curse mark. It shows the curse mark. It’s dangerous, Aunt, and everything got so out of hand and Effie, Effie was meant to be there for me, but … but she was with Peter. I liked him … I loved her … I hate them both. Why? I just don’t know why she would do that to me.’

Aunt looked unsurprised. ‘Because it is in her nature to do so.’

‘Then I went back to Selene’s and …’ Anna looked at Aunt with gravity. ‘I think she had an affair with my father. It’s hard to explain, but I think she did.’ The words made her feel sick. ‘Love ruins everything, just like you said.’

She couldn’t tell Aunt about Attis, that was too much, too tender to touch. ‘I don’t want to feel like this any more. Please take it away. I want to be a Binder.’

She had made a decision. Chosen her path. Relief flooded through her, numbing the pain. Magic had failed her; everyone she loved had betrayed her. Except Aunt. Aunt had said it all along, that she would come to see what was best and now she had. She wasn’t weak to join the Binders: nothing was harder than giving it all up; she’d been weak to give in to magic in the first place. Look where it had left her: cursed, ruined, broken.

‘I sometimes thought it might have been Selene who betrayed your mother,’ said Aunt, her face troubled. ‘She liked your father, that much I knew, and she seduces any man in her sights, but I never had any proof she was the one. I didn’t want to believe it.’

‘Selene betrayed my mother just as Effie betrayed me. She was Carmenta,’ said Anna, ashamed. ‘I’m sorry. I researched their deaths. I needed to know, but I don’t want to know any more. I just want to forget. Please keep her away from me. Keep them all away from me.’

‘I won’t ever let Selene near you again. The Knotting ceremony will go ahead at once. Tomorrow.’

‘Yes, yes,’ said Anna, wanting it, desperate for it.

‘I knew you would choose right because I know you, Anna. I know you better than anyone else in the world.’ She held Anna’s face in her fingers. ‘It will still be hard though, my child. A sacrifice must be made and you have to be willing to make it. It’s what your training has been for. I believe you are strong enough but you must promise me, when the time comes, you will do it. There’s no choice either way – I’ve bound your will before and I can do it again – but it’s easier, easier if you are in control of your emotions. You must trust me.’

If we don’t have trust, we don’t have anything.

Anna looked back into Aunt’s eyes, as green as her own. ‘I know about the bindweed. The poison.’

Aunt’s grip on her tightened but she didn’t look away. ‘It was for your protection. Don’t you see? It was to protect you from this, what’s happened to you. I never wanted you to go through this. It’s a hard truth but magic and love are a worse poison. Look at you, my child, you’re broken.’

Anna bent forwards, the grief escaping at last in deep shuddering waves. ‘I’m ready. Just make this stop.’

‘I know, I know.’ Aunt soothed her, holding her head against her. She had never held her like that. Anna’s tears soaked into her shirt and Aunt didn’t even wipe them away. ‘I wish I hadn’t been right, but your magic is cursed, just like your mother’s. It must be bound. Everything will be better then.’

‘What is the curse?’

‘Love, it is love.’